лунный свет

~ Tell me it's okay ~ even if you lie to me ~ I don't want to feel ~ nothing at all ~

[smokethedayaway]

Why don't I?

Why don't I feel?

Why don't I feel a fucking thing?

[smokethedayaway]

The sharper the edge, the cleaner the wound...

[smokethedayaway]

Days like these....

I just want to die.

[smokethedayaway]

Are you okay?

Okay? I don't know, actually. I guess I'm not. But I'm alive, kind of. So for now, alive has to be enough.

[smokethedayaway]

All these years I've asked myself the same question over and over again.

Why do I even exist?

But by now, I know that I don't.

All my life I've done things to please others. I tried so hard to live up to their expectations, to make them happy. I just wanted to be the person others wanted me to be, but no matter how hard I tried, it was never enough. I was never enough. I fuck up everything. I don't draw anymore. I don't write anymore. I don't take pictures anymore. I can't can't find joy in anything used to like. Because it's never good enough. I just feel so fucking useless. I am nothing, no one, I never was anything else.

And sometimes I just fucking want to die.

[smokethedayaway]

Truth is,

I've never been someone

to light up anybody's world

or bring colour

into their lives

Truth is,

I always tried

I tried my best to be

someone

something

to anyone

And I guess I am.

I'm a burden

A liability

to the ones

I love the most

I'm sorry

[smokethedayaway]

If at this point

Surviving means

Killing my head

Tell me

How am I supposed

To kill a part of me

And stay alive

At the same time

- smokethedayaway

[smokethedayaway]

N U M B.

What I long for.

What I crave the most.

Not to feel

a fucking thing.

- smokethedayaway

[mienar]

reaching for the stars

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[real-demons]

[smokethedayaway]

I'm tired.

So come on, my demons,

come out and play.

My mind is your spintop,

go on and spin it.

I'm all yours.

Leave your maks on my wrists,

crimson them with ruby red tears.

Fill my lungs with smoke,

until I can't breathe.

Let's play tag on the rooftop,

show me how to fly.

Just for a second,

then show me how to die.

- smokethedayaway

[smokethedayaway]

I care for myself just as much as I care for my plants.

My plants are all dead btw.

[smokethedayaway]

All my life all I ever did was try and try

I never meant to be your problem child

-Simple Plan

[smokethedayaway]

Please just let me disappear...

[smokethedayaway]

"Maybe we could be friends?"

she whispered

But the girl in the mirror

just stared at her blankly

and didn't even bother

to shake her head.

-smokethedayaway

[smokethedayaway]

I can't wait to breathe.

[smokethedayaway]

You lost all your colours

while you were searching for them.

- smokethedayaway