at a snail's pace

FtM transgender, early 20's, He/Him You can call me Snail~

[snails-gender]

Been trying to break my nail biting habit...clipped my nails for the first time in literally my life

[glaad]

Transgender Resources Master Post

Today President Donald Trump announced a ban on transgender soldiers from openly serving in the United States armed forces. This anti-LGBTQ policy, announced on Twitter, puts the careers of more than 15,000 patriotic transgender Americans on the line. 

Trans servicemembers want nothing more than to serve their country. 

Trans people are not a burden or a disruption. We’re with you. 

Please use & signal boost these resources to support the trans community. 

Resources for trans people in Crisis

The Trevor Project’s 24/7 Lifeline at 866-4-U-TREVOR (866-488-7386) or Trevor Chat, the Trevor Project’s online messaging service

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-TALK (8255)

Trans Lifeline at 877-565-8860

Do you live outside the United States? If so, check out The Trevor Project’s list of international resources here.

Transgender FAQ

Answers to questions like

What does transgender mean?

How is sexual orientation different from gender identity?

What name and pronoun do I use?

How do I treat a transgender person with respect?

Why is transgender equality important?

Tips for allies of transgender people

How to report on trans people in the media

Trans advocacy and support organizations

National Center for Transgender Equality (NCTE)  (advocacy)

Transgender Law Center (TLC)  (legal services and advocacy)

Gender Proud  (advocacy)

Sylvia Rivera Law Project (SRLP)  (legal services)

Transgender Legal Defense and Education Fund (TLDEF)  (legal services)

Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition (MTPC)  (advocacy)

Trans People of Color Coalition (TPOCC)  (advocacy)

Trans Women of Color Collective (TWOCC)  (advocacy)

Black Trans Advocacy  (advocacy)

Trans Latina Coalition  (advocacy)

Gender Spectrum  (support for families, trans youth, and educators)

Trans Youth Equality Federation  (support for families and trans youth)

Trans Youth Family Allies (TYFA)  (support for families and trans youth)

TransTech Social Enterprises  (economic empowerment)

SPART*A  (advocacy for trans military service members)

Transgender American Veterans Association  (advocacy for trans veterans)

TransAthlete.com  (info about trans athletes)

TransLife Center at Chicago House  (support services)

General info and resources:

The full “Injustice at Every Turn” report, with breakdowns by race and ethnicity. “Injustice at Every Turn” is a survey of over 6,400 transgender people detailing the discrimination faced by this community.

Transgender Lives: Your Stories is an interactive campaign created by The New York Timesto allow transgender people to tell their own stories in their own words.

I AM: Trans People Speak is a campaign created by the Massachusetts Transgender Political Coalition (MTPC) and sponsored by GLAAD to raise awareness about the diversity of transgender communities. It lifts the voices of transgender individuals, as well as their families, friends, and allies.

The Trans 100 is an annual list of 100 amazing and inspiring trans Americans who are visible within their communities.

We Happy Trans is a website devoted to sharing positive stories from trans people everywhere.

TSER, Trans Student Equality Resources, provides trans*-related information on school issues and supports efforts for creating policy change in school districts.

[snails-gender]

I’m trying to make myself feel better about the acne by drawing it as mushrooms because I love mushrooms but really I’m just complaining about the acne

[snails-gender]

The trick is to post nothing but unflattering pictures so everyone thinks “lol that’s just them making a silly face they’re not really that ugly” and they’ll never know :)

[snails-gender]

RTX somethin somethin weeks on T

[snails-gender]

New selfies~!

[snails-gender]

kind of...a rant. and I’ve already done it before and I shouldn’t do it again but it came back up to me.

This is about a particularly, unexpectedly, popular starwars ship btw and why it pisses me off:

On one hand, I’m someone who really doesn’t give a shit about ships. In fact one of my favorites is Gamzee from the webcomic Homestuck and king candy from the Walt Disney animated feature Wreck-it-Ralph. This isn’t about characters and possibilities this is about fandom attitude.

this is about Kylo Ren and Hux. I don’t even know the ship name for them tbh and I don’t care.

Two pasty white boys implied to be roughly the same age (particularity somewhere around late 20′s to mid 30′s range) both are the “bad guy” and they seem to resent each other in any of the brief scenes they share a glance of course this is going to be a huge ship. In fact usually under those circumstances I’d be there too BUT. hey uh...

guys, these guys are N*zis. Straight up N*zis. 

I’ve seen a lot of people try and fuckin be like “no they’re not” excuse me??? what the fuck excuse me?!!? I’m not even going to get into that level because I’ll write a book.

to cut to what bugs me. because I’m not going to get into the long roundabout politics of “you can/can’t ship this” but to cut to the point is the attitude that comes from these shippers that they’re being “hated on” like the people with beef against it are just mad at air.

I don’t like these guys. they’re the bad guys for a reason. They represent everything that’s a personal threat to me and my existence and if you’re even a little bit aware of the world around you. you should notice that or at least damn listen to our arguments.

I mean by god, okay!?!? like. respect people maybe get really, really uncomfortable with you digging on sympathizing N*zis!?!?!

and you can bullshit me all these reasons about “ooohh but I ship them to cope” or some bullshit and man I will let you have that but you need to fucking recognize and respect that maybe I don’t like seeing these dudes are deliberately threatening and dangerous to our (and I know this is me putting on my own pair of shipping goggles) interracial queer couple heroes...who are finally the heroes for goddamned once...

[snails-gender]

I’ve been finding small bouts of confidence in myself.

weirdly enough in my decoden collection. (I love this stuff lookit up if you don’t know its basically gaudy fake candy phone cases) I was looking it over and realized “there’s a thing I think is cool I’m going to do it” and I did?

I looked it up. found the parts bought all the supplies with my money and just...made this stuff.

it was a short-lasted fad in my life though...never had time for it and in the end I realized I only really wanted to make cases for my 3DS and I only needed one. maybe one day I’ll open up a shop? sell stuff at con? but I did it.

I didn’t need anyone’s help or permission or money I just saw a thing and did it. Most people have already gone through this kind of stage several times in their life though...but I never got to.

on a bigger note...I think about my transition thus far. I’m on the schedule I set for myself. I made a plan and did it after years of saying “it’ll never happen” I just...did it. It’s not easy (or cheap) but I did it.

I’ve lived a life of being told I’m not much of anything at all. That I can’t hardly do anything at all. I’ve had people breathing down my back and prying any attempts at doing things myself straight out of my hands for any number of missteps or just “whatever”. I’ve been a useless child my whole life. Any mistake is damming and just evidence of how I must never be allowed to do things myself.

and now I’m walking out into the world with no one behind me, no guidance or safety nets. There’s honestly this wide open nothing feeling behind me as I go forward. I’ve never been left alone to go my own way. and I just keep doing things...I’ve failed plenty and it sucks but...

no one is stopping me anymore. I can do anything. and I’m doing this.

I think...I’m pretty satisfied with the person I turned out to be considering the circumstance.

[snails-gender]

Sorry havent been around as much so quick post before bed. I've just finished my first bottle of T. Several shots have been shakey but I'm getting the process down slowly. I was really messing up there for a while was my biggest problems. I always rush when I should have been taking it slow. Note: always take your shots real slow guys. I can see a lot of progress I think. Mostly little things. Mostly hair Oh god the hair And none on my face And the acne But the voice is nice. More and more people call me "sir" in passing. Its a wonderful feeling. I'll take more pics soon

[snails-gender]

Unexpected development: T makes you grow horns that aren't actually there but your friends think they are.

[snails-gender]

Something something weeks on T selfies akon 2017 whoo

[snails-gender]

I’m about two months in, not much to report but HAIR!??!?

SO MUCH HAIR I AM BEING CONSUMED. not much on the face but my body is literally a bear now??? I knew this would happen...I’ve always had a lot of body hair for a “girl” but this is absolute madness. I usually only got hair only my calves but now my thighs as well and my belly is nothing but hair its everywhere its consuming me its honestly terrifying to have not checked in a few days and then see yourself naked and realize you’re a fuckin bear now.

The fuzz around my jawline is more obvious though still mostly invisible. Not much to report around the lip and chin as I’ve had to shave twice for a few incidents I needed to hide for a bit. but even two days later is back...not really by much just some fuzz but dark acne-causing fuzz none the less

and the acne lets talk about that oh god I haven’t been this bad since highschool its honestly absolutely embarrassing. I try to clean my face as best I can but I break out so much and so easily...

The voice has had one more noticeable drop about two weeks ago. I pass on the phone at my job but not face-to-face if they get a good look at me. sometimes I can make it in drive-throughs. 

anyways I’ll take another selfie soon. though overall visually there’s really not much to report.

[snails-gender]

Sorry for not being so active here I don't got much more to report my progress has been kind of the same and isn't likely to change for a few months. At my work I've updated my name where I can (not legally changed yet) and used a new phone greeting. When I introduce myself on the phone as "Danny" I get addressed as "sir" more times than not but, don't usually pass in real life still. Its nice. And my department is pretty accepting. (most are friends of mine and already knew anyways) My face fuzz is still just fuzz. Debating shaving it off for now until it decides to actually grow for real. But I imagine that'd itch worse.

[snails-gender]

FIVE THINGS ABOUT ME?

wtf is this Deviantart days wtf here we go got tagged by my sweetie @allhailweegee

5 things you’ll find in my bag:

my wallet

my phone

my 3DS

work badge

very very expensive surface pro I take around with me to work at any given opportunity but gives me constant anxiety as the whole thing is literally a sheet of glass and has broken once and I cannot afford to keep fixing it I don’t have a warranty the best I have is an expensive drop-resistant case but I have so many commissions and blogs and personal projects and I’m up at my office for hours and I don’t know how to stop drawing I get twitchy if I don’t have it and- 

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom:

Soda cans...so many

too many alpaca plushies

a cardboard minion standee I got from the Mcdonalds display

currently boxes maybe one day I’ll find a damn apartment

a mess. just a fuckin’ mess of everything I don’t hang up pants or clean up shit I come home and flop on the bed if its not in the direct path of door-to-bed and not on the side of the bed I sleep on I don’t give a fuck.

5 things I’ve always wanted to do in life:

make a fandom. a legit huge fandom based off something I make with out of control AU’s and horrendous misinterpretations of the characters and everyone just socializing and having a great time...

on that note: make a cartoon series with my partner.

also possibly comic book series with my partner.

maybe adopt kids one day I dunno I really want kids

transition. I guess I’m working on that one now huh?

5 things that make me happy:

my friends who I couldn’t be here without

my sweetie that I don’t know who I’d be without them

Daisy who gives me comfort

making people happy with the things I create, seeing them laugh and get excited and run away with it and make new things

“sir” (”boss” is a close second though~)

5 things I’m currently into:

exterminating the cis corrupting the youth and brutally severing good, traditional heterosexual marriages to make way for the glorious gay agenda(tm)

I started playing fire emblem again I forget I love that game.

my friends!

my sweetie UwU

my sweetie~

5 things on my to do list:

FINISH ALL MY FUCKIN’ COMMISSIONS.

GET ALL MY SHIT READY FOR AKON

THATS IT I DON’T HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE.

find an apartment actually I gotta do that but-

NOTHING ELSE.

5 things people may not know about me:

I tell people too much about myself so they might know everything or known me long enough. so I dunno? It’s my fault my brother exists I asked for him and only because my cousin got a baby sister.

I accidentally started a whole ring of tumblr ask blogs called “nintendask” because I fell in love with Bowser

I’ve had sex in two countries

I killed off my imaginary friend because I got tired of her but the adults wouldn’t stop asking me how she was. I just didn’t want to hang anymore but instead of explaining things in a rational way I told my parents she drowned in a tar pit in Africa.

My first kiss was a highschool friend during an anime convention. We weren't together or nothing she just wanted to teach me. It was electric. To be honest it was one of the most wonderful fluttery feelings I’ve ever had. I only had better when I kissed my sweetie for the first time.

fuck I dunno do it if you want?

[snails-gender]

GOOD PLUS SIZE JEANS

American Eagle Outfitters.

I’m a pretty curvy trans man and I’m going to highly recommend their jeans I wear a 20-22 womens and a 42/32 mens and I got their 42 mens and they fit and look amazing (though always a little long in the legs don’t know whats up with that I’m not short?). Their sizes go up to 44 I think and run a little big and they’re some nice quality and got some cool styles. I got my black skinny jeans finally and they’re everything I could ever want.

cons: not as cheap as I’d like. Their jeans are around the 50-60 range if you don’t snag them on sale however, their sales are reeeeall nice if you catch ‘em and they have buy one get one 1/2 off most the time. 

also, most the larger sizes are online exclusive (a new bullshit fat phobic thing whatever) so it’s a bit of a shot in the dark and naturally you have to wait for shipping.

all-in-all though I give them a gold star and will probably continue to safely shop there for my jean needs as most places just don’t fit right.

[snails-gender]

Tfw you have a phone job and all your regulars miss your new phone intro of "Danny" and use your dead name (which sounds pretty identical on the phone) then at the end of the call ask "do you have a cold?" And theres no time to explain anything so you laugh it off and reassure them youre fine. Again...

[valhallalagoon-deactivated20141]

Things They Didn't Put on Your Informed Consent Sheet (Written by a man at his 1-year T-versary)

You’re going to fucking stink to high heaven. That’s puberty. Get a good deodorant, shave your armpits or become a hermit. Even then, you’ll still probably stink.

Right around 3-6 months on T, you’re going to be in itchy, unbearable agony as your new hair grows in. I scratched so badly that I had welts and blisters that scarred. I’d scratch in my sleep. It never stopped. It was brutal. Hydrocortisone cream and anti-itch powders will help. Avoid having your skin damp for prolonged periods. Avoid excessive heat. Don’t wear spandex. Compression clothing such as tight boxer-briefs or binders will make it worse. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will doubtlessly try this, no matter how manly you think you are. We are all little babies during this time.

Binding causes scars under your arms and on your shoulders. It also causes acne. Cystic acne.

T promotes muscle growth and fat loss… and hunger. If you make bad food choices, you will gain weight, no matter how much you think T is a magic weight loss potion. It is not a magic weight loss potion. On that note, you will gain weight. Muscle weighs more than fat. I dropped 3 clothing sizes but gained 30 pounds in weight. 

Your genitals will hurt. Your dick is going to rub against your underwear or packer if it’s not properly positioned under your skin. You will master the awkward cowboy walk to the bathroom to fix it in a way that draws the least attention. Crying like a little baby does not help, but you will probably do it anyway.

One day, you’re going to wake up and the first thing out of your mouth will sound so unrecognizable that you think you’ve switched bodies with someone else. It’ll be like going from Avril Lavigne to Morgan Freeman overnight. At least, that’s what it will feel like to you. Crying like a little baby is acceptable when this happens.

Everything causes acne. Even your acne meds. You can’t fix it. All you can do is live with it until your hormones stop going haywire.

Some lucky transmen experience temporary uterine insanity. That is, your uterus goes insane and starts cramping randomly. Some endocrinologists theorize that it’s due to the muscles increasing in size from the testosterone so rapidly that they cut off their own blood supply. The pain level from this ranges from “a bear on PCP ate my toe off” and “I just took a shotgun shell full of lemon and rock salt to my external genitalia.” Crying like a little baby does not fix it, but you will do it. You will probably have random bleeding, painful intercourse and lower body weakness. Go to your doctor. Get pain medication. Try to avoid getting addicted to the pain medication. Don’t send nudes of yourself to Pizza Hut when high on the pain medication (as I have done).

Sometimes your voice will break completely in half and you can sing baritone AND soprano. This is great at parties. It gets even greater when you’re drunk.

Drinking before a blood test will mess up your results and may lead your endocrinologist to change your T dose when it’s not necessary.

100mg/week is not the gold standard magic-making dose. That’s where most endocrinologists put you until you figure out the best dose for yourself, with blood tests to monitor your levels so you don’t make your heart explode. Sometimes it’s more, sometimes it’s less. It’s trial and error. Don’t inject T into a vein. That’s really stupid. Crying like a baby will not help. You’ll probably hurt yourself and look like a giant idiot in the ER.

You will mess up your injections frequently. Golf-ball sized swellings, redness and heat can be common even without infections. Sometimes it will hurt so much that you can’t even walk, sit down, masturbate or shit without being in horrible agony. Cry and move on. Biofreeze will be your best friend. Note: wash your hands after applying Biofreeze, especially before you attempt to use the restroom. Ibuprofen helps with the pain better than tylenol and is less likely to make your liver turn black.

People who don’t know you well, such as your favorite barista or your pharmacist, will stop recognizing you at some point. This is normal. Use it advantageously. 

T will change your emotional responses to things. A lot of people think that it makes you angry and this is not always true. You may have stronger emotional reactions to things. You may have less strong reactions to things. You may get sad where you once got angry, and vice-versa. This is normal. Adapt. If someone tells you that you’re being an asshole, listen to them. It’s also appropriate to tell them to go fuck themselves.

Your informed consent sheet will tell you that your genitals will be drier than the Sahara in the summer. This is not always true. In fact, sometimes the opposite can happen and it’ll be quite swampy. Learn to adapt. Or get Summer’s Eve. Sadly, they don’t make it in Axe scents.

If you’re under 21, it’s possible that you might get taller. Remember the growing pains you used to get as a child? Now imagine those but 500% worse. That’s what it will feel like. You will also have to relearn your spatial relationships with the surrounding world. You will be awkward and clumsy. You will knock things over and be in a constant state of bruised.

You will be less iron deficient on T if you stop menstruating. If you have iron-deficiency anemia, it may clear up entirely.

The copper IUD contraceptive Paraguard can cause your periods to come back. Transgender men looking for an IUD are encouraged to choose Mirena, which is infused with progesterone. Progesterone-only hormonal contraceptives such as Depo-Provera, Implanon/Nexapro, the morning after pill and some daily oral contraceptives are less likely to interfere with your HRT but will likely worsen your acne, cause weight gain and affect your moods. If you are under 25, are on T and have Mirena placed, it is likely your body will reject it. This is very painful and it’d probably be less painful if you stuck both of your feet into a bear trap. You will cry like a little baby. You will also throw up and shit yourself.

Do not attempt to STP while intoxicated. If cis guys can’t control their urine streams while intoxicated, you sure as hell can’t.

And just to piss you off: Testosterone therapy is a subjective experience. No matter how much you can prepare yourself for the changes, you’ll be surprised by what’s happening to you. After you start T, it’s likely you’ll feel lost. You spent a lot of time and mental effort getting to this point and now there’s not much to do but wait. At some point, your changes will slow down. Some day, you’re going to wake up with a beard and not remember the time you didn’t have one. And neither will anyone else. So just be and stop worrying.

[magnificentmoondinosaur]

To all the dudes who need to have this info before having freak-out episodes because any or all of these things happen to you!!