let's pop him in a boiling pot....

The name's Lock, and if anyone asks, I'm the smart one. Me and Shock and Barrel work for the Oogie Boogie Man, and trust me, you don't want to mess with us. [Independent RP blog for aged-up Lock, based on Tim Burton's Nightmare Before Christmas. Character and concept belongs to Burton and Disney, obviously. Not a OUAT-verse blog. Will RP with anyone. FC: Thomas Dekker]

[snakeandspiderstew]

hopelesslyunlucky​: 

The laugh that made it passed Xiao Xingchen’s lips was strained and brief, wincing slightly at the foul language. This person sounded younger and therefore he was unwilling to begin scolding him before giving him a chance.

“I suppose I don’t think about it that much. It’s merely what I wear. Perhaps it is odd. Are you lost? We don’t get people out this way often.”

Oh, great. A prude.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” Lock scoffed. “No, I’m not lost. Just looking for Mic. She’s around somewhere, whatever. Maybe you don’t get people because it’s boring out here--where even is this?”

[snakeandspiderstew]

hopelesslyunlucky​: 

“…”

It took him a minute. Xiao Xingchen was not slow witted but the comment seemed so out of place that he didn’t realize his new companion meant him.

“Ah. It’s not a costume but I can see the resemblance.”

“If it’s not a costume, why the fuck would you wear that much white on purpose?”

Not to mention all flowy and useless, like some kind of Christmastown shit. Already, Lock could think of twenty ways to absolutely ruin clothes like that, even half-distracted trying to figure the strange man out.

[snakeandspiderstew]

@notxthedumbone​ | from X

Lock kicked Barrel off of him, his sharp-toothed grin never fading even under the onslaught.

“Should’ve kept a better watch on your shit this year, numbnuts. You even used the same spot. What a dumbass.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

@hopelesslyunlucky​

“That’s a pretty shitty ghost costume.”

[notxthedumbone]

   ❝ Listen—whose dick do I gotta suck t’get some batdamn respect ‘round here? ❞ He’s churlish, snappish, and rude, but that’s nothing new with the mercurial ghoul. The long gash sluggishly bleeding rusty brown down the side of his face, however, is. Grimacing, Barrel reaches for a curved needle && surgical thread.

[snakeandspiderstew]

“Finally admitting you suck dick?” Lock, on the other hand, was having a great time now. “And who sliced up your stupid face? I wanna give ‘em some of my candy.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

storiestotell‌: 

“If humans think they can sell something, they’ll make a holiday for anything.”

“...the fuck can they even sell for mother’s day?”

[storiestotell-a-deactivated2023]

“Happy Mother’s day to me, the best mom to crawl out of Hell, and only me.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

“They have a holiday for that?”

[snakeandspiderstew]

storiestotell‌: 

“What?” It took her a moment to process what he had said and when she did, Mic made a face. “Gross. If you do that, I’m going to put broccoli in whatever you eat next.”

“I’d actually eat that stupid green shit if it tasted half as good as scorpions.”

[storiestotell-a-deactivated2023]

“…hn.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

“...if you don’t finish your half of the pizza, I’m putting scorpions on it.”

[weavemama]

KIDS ARE SO RUTHLESS

[weavemama]

“You look slow and easy to kill”

[twinkprincessmoved-deactivated2]

Jeremy didn’t come to play 

[tadpolemfjackson]

I’m screaming Jeremy

[poserisland-deactivated20240615]

“i tHiNK You ARE NAUGHtY FOR HAviNG SlAVES”

[flower-in-a-horror-novel]

This is why telling kids elves make the presents is a bad idea.

[snakeandspiderstew]

notxthedumbone‌: 

       ❝ bear traps, you fool. i’m lookin’ for bear traps. y’know—the things used to trap bears?? i was gonna stick some in a few snow piles && watch the carnage from afar. && all i got are hairy dudes. i still don’t know why. ❞

“....maybe we should figure out what your type is so you can stop being such a fucking baby.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

notxthedumbone‌: 

        ❝ why are you tryna figure out my type  a n y w a y, impdick??❞

“You’re the one trying to figure shit out if you’re looking for bears, dumbass.”

[snakeandspiderstew]

notxthedumbone‌: 

         ❝ ew, ❞ barrel retorts, oh-so-elegantly. as if he’d lower himself to date a human.  ❝ i don’t know which is worse—-the slander or the fact you think about what my type is.❞

“Oh, yeah, that’s right. Your type’s anything gross and falling apart you dug up for a midnight snack.”

[notxthedumbone]

     ❝ i’m lookin’ for inspiration for my latest prank in the bear trap tag—-so tell me why i’m seein’ a lot of beefy, hairy dudes. it doesn’t make sense.❞

[snakeandspiderstew]

“Maybe that’s just your type. I could see it.”

[schmidtsburg]

[snakeandspiderstew]

notxthedumbone‌: 

WHOOPSIES!! the bat s l i p s, the end cap smashing in-between lock’s legs. just to be more of a bastard, barrel grinds the bat into lock’s pelvis with a grin that stretches from ear to ear.

❝ SAY IT, ❞ he rasps, tongue lolling out grotesquely.   ❝ SAY YOU MISSED ME. ❞

That fucking HURT. But too breathless and blinded with pain to screech a retort, Lock sinks his sharp teeth into Barrel’s shoulder in revenge instead and digs in deep.

[snakeandspiderstew]

notxthedumbone‌: 

OH, TRICK’R’TREAT, FUCKFACE!! grinning manically, barrel grabs onto the baseball bat, brackish blood trickling down, down, down the scratched up wood && TUGS. now HE’S got the bat. better RUN impdick!

With an enraged scream, Lock charges him anyway, trying to wrest the bat back while kicking viciously at Barrel’s legs.