How about some headcanons for dating severus after the war, he’s alive and well, opening up to dating now
Dating Severus Headcanons
A/N: Thanks so much for your request, lovely anon! I’ve never written headcanons before, so I hope I don’t let you down ;3
Admittedly, Severus had not had many romantic engagements throughout his life. Of course, the whole world knew now of his love for Lily Evans, but even that had been exaggerated in the flurry of the end of the war. In the years after the end of the first war, when he had some more leeway when it came to how he spent his time, he had been…coerced into some relationships at the behest of Narcissa Malfoy, but none of them ever lasted long given the grief and general air of despair that surrounded Severus, so she eventually gave up.
Given his previous romantic history, he certainly never planned on dating or committing to a relationship with anyone, ever, so he had no real idea of what to do or how to act when he did eventually find you.
Because of this, you had to be the first one to approach Severus with the idea of going out on a date, and you definitely had to be the one to ask to be his partner, because he was never going to subject someone else to dealing with him, no matter how much he liked them (remember, he’s spent the majority of his life with very few true friendships, so he doesn’t really know how to initiate them).
After getting past this initial barrier, you’re able to explore the ways he shows affection. He’s still got somewhat of an acerbic personality (that doesn’t go away just because a war is over), but he’s cautious to talk to you a little gentler and in a more neutral tone. He isn’t particularly prone to outbursts of laughter, but he will definitely smile at you when you do something silly.
Some of his love languages are definitely quality time and acts of service. The former shines through with how much time you both spend together. Since the end of the war, he’s abandoned Spinner’s End and found a small house in the country, where he has ample privacy for his affairs, and you are a constant presence there once you begin dating. It starts off with you coming over to help cook dinner together, staying up late reading books in his living room together, and turns into you staying the night more and more often as your relationship progresses. These were the times you got to know him best, you see, because you got to see him in his home, where his guard is most relaxed. As much as you would ever know each other, he’s spent so many years hiding his true self from the public eye, that whenever you were out in public, his old habits meant to protect him reared their heads and prevented him from being like the Sev you knew at home. Getting to spend time with him doing menial things strengthened your bond and helped Severus become more comfortable with you.
Acts of service show themselves in different ways. Usually, it comes with him teaching you things that he is very passionate about, such as potions. He hated being a teacher, but if you had expressed a genuine and intellectual interest in potions, that he was willing to help you learn about them, practically and theoretically. He invites you into his private lab, a HUGE indicator that he trusts you given that he has it stocked to the brim with rare, expensive, and dangerous potions ingredients. He is hypervigilant at all times, ensuring that you don’t make a single mistake with a potion that could hurt you in any way. If you were a potion geek like him, you both worked together on advancing each other’s research and special projects, combining both of your extensive knowledge about them. Other acts of service include his help in making sure that you are taking care of yourself. If you have a job that is particularly stressful, he will make sure to have a warm bath ready with tea (or whatever your favourite beverage is). If you do independent work, and you get too caught up in it, he will check on you and make sure you’re taking care of yourself, and might bring you some food while he’s at it. Having someone to care about grounds him, as well as helps him express his feelings a little easier.
He is very attentive. He finally has someone who cares about him as much as he does them, so he makes sure to hang on to your every word, and he has a great memory for things you mention in passing. You can count on this memory kicking in for any gifts he might get you for holidays or special occasions, and he’d definitely go to any length to get you something he knows you’d love.
In terms of physical affection, Severus is definitely not the type to engage in PDA of most forms, with the exception of hand/arm holding as you both walked. He’s an incredibly private person, and with his newfound fame after the war, he hated having any photos of him taken in public. He really values your relationship and to see it be exploited in the media makes him feel upset — not because he’s seen with you, but because you are seen with him. Even though he’s been reassured countless times that you love him and such, he can’t help but worry that your reputation is being sullied by being seen with a former Death Eater. This might lead to many a conversation with him in which he elaborated on his insecurity and fears, but he promises to work through his fear.
In private, you can count on him being kind of touch starved and almost needy when it comes to physical affection. I’m talking a lot of touching when you’re doing everyday tasks together — lingering fingers, touches on your lower back and he passes you to grab something, hand holding as you read books together. At the beginning, you had to be the one to initiate any physical contact and make sure he was still comfortable with it, but as your relationship grew, he started engaging in it more.
Severus would rather die than say this out loud, but he loves hugs. He loves hugging you a lot, especially in bed together, where he can big spoon you to his heart's content (I think it helps him feel like he’s keeping you safe). If he’s had a hard day and he gets to be the little spoon, he’s going to feel so secure and comforted, and he will let you know his gratitude. He likes sneaking up on you from behind and embracing you, dropping kisses on the top of your head to let you know just how much he loves you and your presence in his life.
Verbal affection is easier to come by with Severus, surprisingly. At first, getting him to say what he feels is like pulling teeth, but after establishing that communication had to be important for you both, he begins to vocalise what he feels, especially in regard to you. He will definitely compliment you a lot on your work ethic, your knowledge, and your brain because he really admires your intelligence. If you’re having a particularly hard day with anything, he’s definitely going to do his best to make you feel better by reassuring your abilities and believing in you, verbally, to help bolster your confidence.
Despite this, you are going to say “I love you” first. As much as he loves you and knows it, he’s still too insecure and afraid to impose himself and the weight of his emotions on you. But as soon as you say it, he will return it. He’s going to be shocked no matter how you tell him, his brain grappling with the idea that someone loves him unconditionally, but he’s sure about his feelings for you and just needed some confidence to actually say it.
Overall, Severus is a passionate partner. It can be challenging to break through his barriers at the beginning, but once you do, you know he would do anything for you and your happiness. He’s super dedicated to you, and loves spending time with you. He’s still a little sour and quiet at times, but you know a side of him the rest of the world doesn’t that just makes you love him even more.
A/N: I hope you liked it!! Let me know what you think, and if you’d like a part 2 or something to this!! I had a lot of fun and I hope yall like how I tried to portray Severus as a partner <3