snape is my baby

pro snape, obviously, but honestly snape has my entire heart this is a side blog that has way too much attention thanks to lockdown haha

[sayssnape]

dumbledore: you need to promise me you’ll be on your best behaviour.

snape: i promise… -ed other people i’d be on my worst behaviour. and i gave my word so…

[sayssnape]

tonks: stop saying "there are plenty of fish in the sea." i got my eye on one specific emotionally distant salmon with commitment issues.

alastor: i’m personally after the white whale that took my leg.

snape: i also want the whale that took alastor’s leg.

[sayssnape]

*after a particularly competitive staff board game night*

snape: you know what i’m thankful for? nursing homes.

mcgonagall: you know what you should be thankful for? breath mints. you could use one.

snape: i tried your casserole by the way. it was bland.

mcgonagall: you know what else is bland? your personality.

snape: tell me, how are your kidneys? still failing?

dumbledore: okay, why don’t we call this a night-

*gets interrupted over snape snd mcgonagall fighting*

[dastardly-lemondrops]

There are two wolves inside of Severus Snape.

One is his crippling depression and the other is Remus Lupin.

[kkjt17]

🌕🌕🌕

[sayssnape]

snape: i need to get some air.

lupin: there’s air in here.

snape: i don’t want your air.

[persianmom-deactivated20260602]

[snapeybaby]

Hey all, Ramadan Kareem to those who observe.

To anyone who is able to, please donate to make my local mosque debt free 💖🎉🫂✨️

Also it's an odd night, so let's make the most of it Insha'Allah

Zakiyah's Ramadan Umrah Competition: Race to the Reward? | LaunchGood | LaunchGood

Every Penny Counts, Every Child Wins – Give, Grow, and Earn Rewards

[sayssnape]

*about remus and tonks*

snape: so how did you break up with him?

tonks: actually he broke up with me.

snape: oh. and how did you celebrate?

[sayssnape]

*about remus and tonks*

snape: so how did you break up with him?

tonks: actually he broke up with me.

snape: oh. and how did you celebrate?

[sayssnape]

lucius: is this gonna be one of those cool parties where things go out of control and we murder someone and then we all have to take a blood oath to never reveal our secret?

snape: um...no?

lucius: then i might as well leave

[eraserheadadult]

tbh the current default state of operating systems & internet browsers looks fucking indistinguishable from when i gave the family desktop one billion viruses downloading Free Neopoints Hack in 2005

[eraserheadadult]

not to be a millennial but back in my day getting blasted in the eyeballs by ads on your desktop the instant you turn on your computer used to mean something was extremely wrong

[sayssnape]

mcgonagall: you took advice from lockhart?!

snape: it's called hitting rock bottom, minerva.

[sayssnape]

mcgonagall: you took advice from lockhart?!

snape: it's called hitting rock bottom, minerva.

[sayssnape]

narcissa: *holding lucius’ hand over her stomach so he can feel the baby kick* sorry this is taking so long, they kicked for everyone else.

lucius: it's hard for the little guy to preform under pressure.

snape: top ten things lucius said on his wedding night.

lucius: woah! it was small, but i think i felt something!

regulus: top ten things cissy said on her wedding night.

snape: *laughes*

lucius: stop laughing at it!

snape and regulus: top ten things lucius said on his wedding night!

[sayssnape]

narcissa: i do not want to burden you two, what with your perfect friendship.

snape to narcissa: you think our friendship is perfect?

regulus: is it not?

snape: we are more than happy now but it took us time to get here. friendship takes hard work. but it is work that is worth it.

regulus: our friendship is not hard work.

snape to regulus: you are wearisome tonight.

[sayssnape]

*snape and lily reading petunias diary and seeing she wrote that they dont respect her privacy*

lily: what!?? of course we respect her privacy, how can she say that?

snape: bro, thats crazy, what is she talking about?