See You in Heck

Sinnamon roll

[gretchensinister]

Giving someone six geese (a-laying, and thus in full protect-the-nest mode), much less SEVEN SWANS, does not seem to me, to be, per se, an act of true love

[murakel]

[mjalti]

[hilarioushumorfromouterspace]

[kiracles]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[landorus-deactivated20190924]

when he finally hit it right

[dilfweed]

Delete this

[catsi]

someone who lived in my apartment before me wrote a quote under the lampshade above the bed and it says “Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.” and it makes me emotional every time i read it because it’s me as hell

[gobsthegoblin]

self care for when you hit rock bottom

i fucking hate self care posts made by neurotypicals so here’s one from someone who Actually Gets It

-can’t shower or take a bath? me either. dry shampoo can make your hair look and feel cleaner, and baby wipes or makeup wipes work great to get the top layer of grime off your skin.

-can’t wash your sheets and make your bed? i feel you. push your blankets out of the way and shake the crumbs off your sheet. it will at least be a bit more comfortable.

-can’t even change out of your dirty pajamas? been there. hit yourself with some febreeze and a lint roller. if you can, brush your hair. if you can’t, hair ties and bobby pins are fantastic.

-can’t make anything to eat? same. if you can, there’s no shame in ordering food. in fact, it’s probably better you eat something rather than go hungry. if you can’t, try and find something that comes pre-made or takes minimal effort to make. at the very least, drink some water.

can’t respond to messages or reach out for help? yeah, i get that. set an alarm for a few hours from now and respond to any messages you need to once you’ve given yourself time to prepare. if they’re Important Messages that need Professional Responses, you can find fill-in-the-blank format rough drafts on google. as far as personal messages go, don’t feel bad for sending a mass “I’m sorry, I’m in a personal emergency right now. I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.” response to everyone.

-can’t even sleep because it’s so bad? asmr videos always knock me out, personally, but i also watch a lot of bob ross. just try to find something quiet and soothing to use as background noise and take your mind off it, or at least give you a more peaceful environment to think about it.

-can’t go for a walk/drive? try opening the blinds or curtains. you’re still exposing yourself to the outside world. baby steps. (i also play animal crossing or sims; it may be virtual but fuck it. i went on a walk.)

-can’t go into work/school? let people know. let your coworkers or classmates know it’s an emergency and you can’t make it. give yourself up to two days, but then you have to go back. ask to have your work emailed to you so you know what you missed.

-can’t brush your teeth and wash your face? makeup or baby wipes and gum or mouthwash. don’t let yourself physically rot bc you’re rotting emotionally.

-remember that you’ve been here before. if you survived then you can survive now. that’s what this is about- survival. you don’t have to be living your Best Life. right now, it’s more than enough that you’re alive.

[sweetdickheadass]

This is the only self car masterpost I’ve ever seen that is feasible for severe depressive episodes

[self-care-sunrays]

And here I want to say it’s totally ok if you can’t do my quests. Sometimes you don’t even have power to get up. So here is a list for when its really hard! Laying around and do nothing is okay too.

[sagihairius]

bruh the only time a man should have an abortion opinion is if he’s pregnant

[sagihairius]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[mel-is-a-melon]

[supposedjunkie]

[laughordie]

[chewbacca]

Weeds  |  1x05 - “Lude Awakening”

[tvandfilm]

[ruinedchildhood]

[inevitabletony-deactivated20220]

[quietdoppelganger]

For anyone unaware literally every one of those dancers is a child

[saint-batrick]

HOLY SHIT

[bimbocracy]

i just love that little secret all women share. i love that even when a man thinks he’s got a woman who worships the ground he walks on, when he thinks he has complete control, that he’s the ultimate voice of authority and that he shits gold, that woman will privately know he’s stupid. even if she never says it, she’ll know

[bimbocracy]

womanhood is actually just an extended piece of performance art called “yes, mister, you are very smart”

[bimbocracy]

now you males out there may be thinking “but barbie, if that were true then wouldn’t all women be oscar-worthy actresses?” the answer is no. we don’t actually need to be good at pretending. that’s how dumb y’all are.

[bimbocracy]

you may also be thinking “well *I* can tell when a woman is just placating or patronizing me”. that is also false. if you can tell, it’s because she wants you to know she’s making fun of you.

[dailytwitterposts]