I do know the difference between real life and fiction but I also like how this and other interviews map onto the character interpretation of Aziraphale being completely chill with sex because it’s basically sushi with friction vs Crowley being like WHAT I mean I’ve been in DESPERATE ALL-CONSUMING LOVE for 6000 years but that’s DIFFERENT what’s a DICK
Prompt: Crowely tells Az he loves him by accident while going on a big long rant about (dealers choice) Az catches right away and just smiles and waits as Crowely comes to the realization of what he said
Anon. Anon. I love you for this.
***
“See, thing is-”
Crowley’s words elude him- as they have a habit of doing, the sneaky buggers. He watches the white lines in the middle of the road streak by, feels the tarmac roaring beneath the car. It’s a rainy evening and they’re driving home from a restaurant north of Watford that Aziraphale has been banging on about for months. Since the world had ended- and then promptly not ended- the angel’s zest for food hasn’t lessened in the slightest. In fact, it’s only gotten bloody zestier, as if their near-apocalypse experience has made Aziraphale realise that life is too short. Even an immortal life such as his.
Crowley loses his track of his thought entirely. “Thing is…”
“You were talking about-”
“KINDLES!” Crowley exclaims, taking his hands off the wheel to celebrate this eureka moment. Aziraphale straightens out beside him nervously and grabs a fistful of his corduroy trousers. Crowley slaps the leather of the steering wheel enthusiastically as he continues, “Kindles. Are not. Demonic! We didn’t come up with them- that was all you, I’m certain!”
“Why on earth would I invent the Kindle, dear boy? Do you even know me at all?”
“You-plural, not you-singular. Angels you, Heaven you.”
“Well, I certainly didn’t sanction it.”
“Alright but- listen- what’s the problem with kindles? Why’re- what’s the problem? I mean really, it’s a book, isn’t it. Just a book on a screen. What’s the problem?”
“The problem-” Aziraphale begins confidently, bordering aggressively. Then the wind appears to be knocked out of his sails. “Well,” he tries again, a little weakly. “The problem, the problem lies therein. In that. Well-”
“See! See, it’s clearly a good thing, I don’t understand what all the fuss is about- all these people going ‘oh, ho-ho, oh dear, books aren’t physical anymore, what a travesty! Let’s all- grab our pitchforks! And lament the loss of our children’s education’.” He adds a mocking, whinging voice to this last bit.
Aziraphale tuts, stretches his legs out in front and crosses them.
Aziraphale, hanging out on Noah’s Ark watching the flood waters rise. Hears a noise down in the hull and goes to investigate.
Finds Crowley stowed away in the hull along with several hundred Mesopotamian children ranging in age from infants to late teens.
Crowley, in the middle of passing around a bread basket that endlessly refills itself, looks up like a deer in headlights. “Okay, I can explain this…”
—Later that day—
Crowley, while bottle feeding one of the infants: I mean clearly the Almighty wants these children dead, what with their capacity for evil and stuff, so by saving them all, I’m actually going against the Ineffable Plan.
Aziraphale, hiding a smile: Right. Makes perfect sense.
Crowley: I’m being very evil here.
Aziraphale: Of course you are.
Crowley: …you’re not about to throw them all overboard, are you? Because I will fight you.
Aziraphale: Oh, no. You’ve clearly outwitted me this time. I must accept my defeat with grace. And Noah has enough on his plate with the animals, I shouldn’t burden him with this. You’ve won this round, wily serpent.
Crowley, getting choked up: Y-Yes, that’s right. I’m very wily. And evil. Don’t forget that.
I can’t decide what broke me more, Crowley’s constant acts of service, always showing up to save Aziraphel or make him happier… or Az’s extremely in love expressions.
Like, listen:
a. THE WAY HE LOOKS AT HIM even when playing “enemies”
b. His smile when Crowley appears to save him in France? SOFT
c. WHEN HE FALLS IN LOVE
d. That cutesy smile and blush????
e. The way his gaze lingers after the sexually charged moment AND HE’S LOOKING AT THIS LIPS BEFORE HIS GAZE GOES UP??
f. “to the world” but say it like it means “i love you”
I talked with my friend (@jokerstrueidentity ) about the type of fanfics that are just like “He asked. I smiled. He smiled.” (Something like that) and that’s what I wrote because of it:
He asked.
I smiled.
He smiled.
I asked.
He looked.
I looked back.
He stared.
I stared back.
He blowed a kiss.
I blowed a kiss back.
He looked.
I looked back.
He was terrified.
I looked behind me.
AND GUESS WHAT. IT WASNT ME HE WAS LOOKING AND BLOWING KISSES AT. BEHIND ME WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND. BITCH YOU THOUGHT
I talked with my friend (@jokerstrueidentity ) about the type of fanfics that are just like "He asked. I smiled. He smiled." (Something like that) and that's what I wrote because of it:
He asked.
I smiled.
He smiled.
I asked.
He looked.
I looked back.
He stared.
I stared back.
He blowed a kiss.
I blowed a kiss back.
He looked.
I looked back.
He was terrified.
I looked behind me.
AND GUESS WHAT. IT WASNT ME HE WAS LOOKING AND BLOWING KISSES AT. BEHIND ME WAS HIS GIRLFRIEND. BITCH YOU THOUGHT
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