The only straight I am is a straight up bitch.

[ttheberrystar]

I know I shouldn’t worry but....

[ttheberrystar]

I never said I’d stop living.

[snixxthatbitch]

You just stopped living instead.

[ttheberrystar]

I know I shouldn’t worry but....

[ttheberrystar]

I know its not. I’m just worried… I can be worried, Santana. Its in my right to worry. I’m his wife. I have to worry about these things.

[snixxthatbitch]

Yes, but all you do, is worry. Do you really think Puck would want you to stop living for basically years he’s going to spend away? I don’t think so.

[ttheberrystar]

I know I shouldn’t worry but....

[ttheberrystar]

I know that, Santana, however hearing from him once would be nice, even if it was an email.

[snixxthatbitch]

I don’t think they have time for this, aren’t they travelling to far away places without internet forever until hey get there? It’s not exactly like Korea is social media friendly either.  

[ttheberrystar]

I know I shouldn’t worry but....

I haven’t heard from Puck since he’s arrived and I hate not hearing from him.. I hope he’s okay…

[snixxthatbitch]

He’s going to be fine, Q. They probably don’t let them call everyone right after getting there, it’s not a vacation retreat. 

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ PUCK ⇄ SANTANA

Puck: This goes without saying, but please take care of my girl. She's gonna want to get shitfaced a lot. I left some money under the sugar dish. Use it to make her feel better.

Puck: And make sure you're taking lots of pictures of Estevez.

Puck: And just, thanks.

Santana: I'm giving her a week of drunk palooza before the Snixx comes out and I'm kicking her out of the house for a breath of fresh air.

Santana: Because we don't need skank!Quinn 2.0

Santana: We'll be fine, Puckerman. You just focus on getting back there in one piece. No matter what they tell you on tv, losing limbs and battle scars are not hot.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: So you are the weepy drunk when you drink wine? Well not gonna let that happen. This weekend is about chilling out and taking it easy.

Santana: I'm always the weepy drunk, it's just part of my charm. People usually don't notice if I'm macking on someone though.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Now that sounds like a great idea to embrace the single life.

Santana: I know, I'd say some wine would make it even better but the last time I got drunk apparently I cried my heart out in our bathroom and that's not the way I want to enjoy my Quick free vacation.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: I am pretty sure that is every show now days.

Santana: You got me there. I wanna watch Sex Sent Me To ER so I don't feel bad about not getting laid.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: Hey your life is not that bleak. Though if you wanna eating feels is what I am good at. Plenty of ice cream at mine along with trash tv.

Tina:Oh totally.

Santana: I'm game if there are miserable bitches crying on the screen.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Okay it seems like we are bitter even about being bitter.

Tina:Wow really sounds like you would be a catch right there.

Santana: It's okay, I'm just going to eat my feelings out and blame it for using all my energy on, you know, producing food for my son.

Santana: 10 out of 10 would bang.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Naaa call it being rational and logical about the world.

Tina: Wow, how do you cope with all the body changes, but at least it would be a reason people would bit on you: well all the boob girls at least.

Santana: Or being bitter as heck.

Santana: Shame it would just end up in me squirming in pain and them getting covered in milk. Hot date material right there.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Haha true love? Kinda a little redundant don't you think. I think it is just attraction and tolerance that kinda seems shine most then 'true love'.

Tina:Ouch does it really hurt that much when you don't? Okay that does sound a little bit like a bit of a turn off.

Santana: Probably, but doesn't that make us just bitter bitches?

Santana: It's sore at all times, and my ta-ta's have been big enough without the whole pregnancy boost making them split half my shirts wide open.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: Well everyone has someone. Prince Charming? Have you met me? Apparently I am a magnet for gay guys still! I am a single pringle.

Tina:Well if you trust me enough I wouldn't mind looking after the little guy if you ever need to get lucky with someone.

Santana: I don't know, I figured only meeting someone special would cause for a 20 something year old to still believe in this whole true love bullcrap.

Santana: I might take you up on that offer once my boobs stop screaming in pain every time I forget to draw the milk. I don't think 'hold on I gotta extract some baby juice' is a line that would ever get anyone laid.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Hey you never know, New York, openmindeness and crap here. You might find some people .

Tina:Okay that is true since I bet you are very protective of who looks of him.

Santana: People suck everywhere, open minded or not. And you're saying all this like you've been hiding some prince charming from us.

Santana: This was seriously the last time I let him join a bro night with Puckerman and his clan.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: Guess it is nice that one things is still the same.

Tina:Well if it helps people can consider you a MILF? There are loads of single mom's that date sure you would find someone if you wanna.

Santana: Maybe... if you put it that way.

Santana: You know who's attracted to MILFS? Guys like Puck, not power lesbians.

Santana: Besides, like I said it's not like I can exactly pull money out of my ass and get a babysitter every time I want to get laid.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina:Still sounds like things haven't changed much between you two.

Tina:Thank god you have me a shock there.

Santana: Because they haven't. We're still a pair of fierce bitches.

Santana: Oh please, like I even have the time to get my flirt on these days.

[snixxthatbitch]

TEXTS ✉ SANTANA ⇄ TINA

Tina: Seems like you two are up close and personal the amount of times she walks around.

Tina:Someone seems disappointed.

Santana: As close as it takes from my palm to connect with her cheek, we're slapmates.

Santana: You wish, this was a sign of relief.