really cool hat

Young man what the heckity heck do you think you're diddly darn doing?

[slimemode]

whatever. go, my scarab

[patronsaintofweepingmothers]

2009

[covid-safer-hotties]

I remember how rare it used to be for a kid to die. I remember how we had one kid die in a car accident in my high school class: one in a decade. The school literally shut down for three days for a long weekend. It wasn't normal. It wasn't average. It was a big deal. Now in an average school system there are two or three dying of illness every year, and our government wants you to believe we're all "#BacktoNormal." I'm so tired of reading news reports about 11-year-olds dying of cardiac failure. I'm so tired of reading news reports about 15-year-olds dying of illness. I'm so tired of reading news reports about 21-year-olds having strokes. I'm so tired of people pretending like this is normal and there is no reason to avoid covid infections. Now it's business as usual when kids die. It's normal. It's average. It's no big deal.

Please mask up. Keep kids safe.

[escuerzoresucitado]

[churlsgonewild]

[phantomrose96]

Hiromu Arakawa’s genius is obvious throughout all of FMA but her first and biggest leap of genius was in how she crafted her protagonist. 

Arakawa realized the burgeoning youth of the early 2000s wasnt interested in another plucky spry optimistic young shonen protag. Instead she gave us a short ugly egotistical asshole smarter-than-you atheist with so much money and power that people could no longer best him in arguments by telling him “dude shut up ur literally like 12″ 

Five pages in we’re told Edward’s famous and rich and powerful. Five more pages and he’s calling some girl stupid for thinking God exists. Five more pages and he’s proven right. Five more and he’s kicked an evil priest’s teeth in. And no one can tell his mom on him.

Hiromu Arakawa figured out the dream of every edgy young weeb discovering internet arguments for the first time and she cast them an idol made of gold.

[phantomrose96]

[lilyblisslys]

me with the. When she. When her. When the she her me

[mollyjames]

[kittiescatlover]

What if kitties had a festival called kitties festival

[kittiescatlover]

And all of the kitties had to go so you had to help them pack a little bag with coins a toy and lunch if they are not going to buy it at the kitties festival

[wingkink]

btw it's so fucking stupid you can be anxious physically in your body even after you've decided mentally you don't care. I'm supposed to be in charge here

[elexecution]

they need to invent the opposite of an nda called an fda where u have to tell everyone everything

[ilovedirt]

subpoena

[virtualgirladvance]

tumblr

[earhartsease]

alcohol

[beltsquid]

war thunder forums

[gregtom]

[k-simplex-deactivated20241001]

Happy Pride

[thememedaddy]

[dovesndecay]

[catchymemes]

[rudeteens]

I just love barking so I really couldn’t give a fuck if this is the right tree or not haha

[only-cat-memes]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

[no-sharks-on-the-sun]

they killed him for this

[tricktster]

a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.

[unnameablethings]

op u live up to ur username

[tricktster]

Checking back in years later as a person who now has a four year old and a six year old and finally understands just how awful it is to have small children randomly screeching at maximum volume in a way that only someone with lived experience can

this is still very, very funny.

this may be one of the funniest things i’ve ever done actually.

[tricktster]

a good thing about having kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. i mean, you probably should, but you don’t gotta. like a few weeks ago, I taught the kids all about the F word and why - even though it has incredible conversational utility - you shouldn’t say it because it’s a very very bad swear word and people will get upset.

I also taught them that the F word is, uh, “flinkle”

they are little potty mouths and it is so so so so so so funny to hear them on a flinkle rampage

[tricktster]

In my defense, I didn’t make them myself, I just met a hot dude with kids and made them my own

[maddie-2022]

That has got to be the funniest way to describe being a stepparent

[precious-silly-thing-deactivate]

Candle clocks

[capillaries-burst-from-boredom]

same energy tbh