Snow White & the Three Gnomes

not even snow white can handle these guys

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

“not being able to curl your hair doesn’t make you any less of a woman”

they know *NOTHING*.

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

“i still think you should wear your pink shoes; they go better with your colors”

...could they finally be learning things?!

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

dealing with the gnomes’ constant refusal to help out with dishes beyond the bare, stark, unbelievably skeletal minimum imaginable

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when i found out the gnomes write down quotes from me

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

the moment when i have to explain why i lock the doors when i'm home alone

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

"Okayyyy Hattie. If it's not about animals or babies, you don't want to watch it. We all know!"

oboe gnome

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

everyone in the apartment is sick

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when i realized that i'm basically a bachelor

1. i live with men

2. i hang out with men

3. i burp

4. i “cook” sandwiches

5. i get excited if a girl says yes, she’d love to get coffee with me sometime

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

passing a towel to a gnome in the bathroom

“uh how about i just shove it under the door? ...yeah? i’m sure it’ll fit, i just gotta.... like... fold it up...” 

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

so i saw a gnome using the largest mixing bowl as a bucket for washing the bathroom

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when you come home to a gnome drinking half a bottle of wine and eating ice cream out of the container

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when i finally get a girl friend to go out and get cupcakes with me

really, this is any time i get to do anything with girls. 

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

so this is the beer fridge. ...conveniently and undoubtedly out of my 5'5" reach.

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when hairy gnome surprise-shaved while you were at the coffee shop

i now understand the little hairs gleefully scattered about the bathroom

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

when you have to go out and a gnome still hasn’t swept the entryway

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

gnomes react to my catcall tales of woe

hairy gnome: “you go girl!” *fist bump*

not hairy gnome: “what?! why would he say that to you????”

long-hair gnome: “so why you gotta let it get to ya?!”

[snowwhiteand3gnomes]

another gnome

“this is my friend! 

....oh yeah, he’s going to be staying with us until wednesday.”