୨ৎ pairing : rodrick heffley x regina george
୨ৎ blurb : regina finds out aaron has a new girlfriend. what better way to make him jealous than to date someone out of her league?
୨ৎ notes : a bit longer than my usual fics but it's worth the read, i promise<3 enjoy my loves !
regina never asked anyone for help, didn’t chase, and definitely didn’t need anyone.
but that rule was about to be broken, because of aaron samuels.
aaron and his new girlfriend, whatever the hell her name was, were the talk of the entire senior class. they were nauseatingly happy. regina had told herself she didn’t care, that she was over it. except she wasn’t. and when gretchen let slip that aaron would be at the valentine’s dance with her, something inside regina snapped.
she needed a plan. a distraction.
a fake boyfriend.
it all started in the cafeteria. rodrick was next to a vending machine, arguing with his brother about lunch money. his hair was a mess, and he looked far from regina’s social tier.
“hey, heffley.” she said, her voice sugar sweet.
he turned, caught off guard. “uh.. george? you lose a bet or something?”
she smiled, the kind that made people nervous. “you’re gonna help me with something.”
he blinked. “that sounds.. sketchy.”
“it’s not." she lied. “i need you to pretend to be my boyfriend.”
he laughed so hard he nearly choked. “yeah, right.”
regina crossed her arms, tilting her head. “you’ll get free food, maybe a new drumset and people will stop thinking you live in your parents attic.”
“i do live in my parents attic.”
“it’s called character development.”
he hesitated, and that was all she needed.
“come on.” she said, lowering her voice. “it’s just for a few weeks. all you have to do is show up, act like you’re obsessed with me, which cleary shouldn’t be hard, and i’ll make it worth your while.”
rodrick looked like he couldn’t decide whether to laugh or run. “add another perk in and i might consider it.”
“i can get your band booked for the spring carnival. you’ve been trying to get a gig there for, what, three years?”
his eyes narrowed. “you serious?”
“dead." he exhaled, rubbing the back of his neck. “fine. but if i’m doing this, i'm doing it my way.”
regina smirked. “no, hun. you’ll do it my way.”
the first week was pure chaos.
rodrick was terrible at pretending. he forgot to text her, didn’t walk her to class. and at lunch, he’d show up halfway through, holding a slice of pizza like it was a trophy.
“rodrick.” she hissed, sliding into the seat beside him, “try acting like you’ve dated a human before.”
he shrugged. “you said fake boyfriend, not trained actor.”
“just-” she glanced around, aaron was sitting two tables away. “put your arm around me. now.” rodrick raised a brow, grinning. “bossy.”
he threw his arm over her shoulders in the most exaggerated, lazy way possible. “like this?”
“less… caveman. more casual.”
“sorry, i don’t speak mean girl.”
she almost laughed. almost.
by friday, people were talking. regina and rodrick. rodrick heffley, the guy who once fell asleep during an assembly, were officially a thing.
karen squealed. “you two are so cute!” while gretchen whispered. “is this some sort of social experiment?”
regina brushed it off with a smirk. the rumors were perfect, exactly what she needed. aaron kept glancing over in the halls, like he couldn’t believe it. that was the point.
but then, somewhere between all of this, something started to shift.
it was small at first. a text from rodrick at 1am :
rodrick : your ex is a jerk btw
rodrick : no clue how u dated him
regina : i didnt ask
rodrick : js stating the obvious
she didn’t reply, but she reread it twice.
the second week, they had to take couple photos for the valentine’s board, an annual “cute couples” wall by the gym. regina told him to wear something decent, yet he showed up in a black hoodie with “löded diper” scrawled on it.
“you look like a dropout.” she muttered.
he grinned. “you look like you care too much.”
“i always look like that.”
the photographer told them to 'get closer'.
rodrick slung an arm around her waist.
“try not to look like you’re being held hostage.” he teased.
when the camera flashed, she wasn’t ready for how natural it felt. how close he was, the smell of his cheap cologne and the faint smirk tugging at his mouth.
afterwards, she stepped back quickly. “don’t get used to it.”
he scoffed. “you're funny."
by week three, the lines were blurring.
rodrick started walking her to class, unprompted. he’d lean against her locker, make sarcastic comments, and she’d roll her eyes but never told him to stop.
once, when someone made a joke about him being “regina’s charity case.” he just grinned. “nah. i'm her upgrade.”
later that day, she found him behind the gym, guitar in hand. he was strumming quietly, not his usual noisy stuff. it was soft.
“are you stalking me now?” he teased.
“i was on my way to cheer practice.”
she crossed her arms. “what song is that?”
he shrugged. “just something i’m working on.”
“is it about me?” she asked, smirking.
he looks up, eyes gleaming. "do you want it to be?”
things got complicated after that.
regina’s plan worked. aaron got jealous, kept staring, even tried talking to her again. but the less she spoke to aaron, the less she cared. his words felt empty.
he’d pick her up for ''fake'' dates in his van, always late, always blasting loud music. they’d sit in drive thrus and he’d say something stupid, she’d call him an idiot, yet somehow it always ended in laughter.
but she kept reminding herself; it was fake. a deal. temporary.
still, it didn’t feel fake the night he walked her home after a date. the street was quiet, she was cold and he tossed her his jacket without a word. it smelled like cheap body spray. she never gave it back.
when they stopped outside her house, she turned to him. “you’re actually not completely unbearable.” she said.
he grinned. “careful, george. that almost sounded like a compliment.”
she smirked. “don’t get used to it.”
her heart shouldn’t have skipped at that.
yet it did.
by week four, regina had the school wrapped around her finger again.
only this time, she wasn’t sure she liked it.
the whispers, the attention, the photo of her and Rodrick on the valentine’s board with the caption "power couple of the month.” it was everything she could've ever wanted. but when she saw aaron’s expression, the subtle mix of confusion and jealousy, it didn’t spark satisfaction anymore. it just felt.. flat.
he always noticed, even when she tried to hide it.
“you good?” he asked one afternoon, spinning a drumstick in his hand as they stood outside infront of the school steps.
she gave him a look. “you calling me a liar, heffley?”
he shrugged, smirking. “you’re standing in silence and not scrolling your phone. that’s, like, a red flag.”
she rolled her eyes, but a laugh slipped out anyway. “you’re annoying.”
“and yet you keep showing up.”
the valentine's dance crept up faster than she expected.
gretchen was fussing over regina’s hair, karen humming off key to some love song. “you and rodrick are gonna look so cute tonight!” karen said, clasping her hands.
regina caught her reflection in the mirror. the pink silk dress, the glossed lips, her hair that took an hour to do. she looked perfect. duh, of course she did.
“it’s not real.” she muttered under her breath.
just then, the doorbell rang.
"he's an hour late." karen says, reapplying her lipstick for the millionth time.
regina sighs. "you'll get used to it."
he stood on her doorstep, holding a crushed bouquet of roses. “they were, uh… discounted.”
she stared. “wow. nothing screams romance like a clearance tag.”
he grinned. “aw, you love it.”
she hated that she kind of did.
the gym was glowing pink and red, balloons everywhere, cheap punch spilling on the floor. people stared when they walked in, the queen of the school and the grunge boy from the attic.
“smile." regina whispered through clenched teeth. “we’re supposed to look in love.”
rodrick leaned closer, whispering back. “you sure this isn’t love already?”
she shot him a glare, but her cheeks burned. “don’t push it.”
the night went on. dancing, posing for photos, pretending. but at some point, between songs, she caught aaron looking her way again. he smiled, the kind of smile that used to make her heart race.
“go talk to him.” rodrick said suddenly.
“you’ve been staring at him for ten minutes.”
“you have, so go talk to him. that’s what this was all about, right?”
she didn’t answer, because he was right. it was the plan. and yet the thought of leaving Rodrick there, alone under the fairy lights, felt so wrong.
when the entire school found out that the regina george and rodrick heffley were dating, it didn't take greg long to notice.
he caught him in the kitchen that night, spooning peanut butter straight from the jar.
“so..” greg said, leaning against the counter with folded arms. “mind telling me how you managed to trick the most popular girl in school into dating you?”
rodrick frowned. “trick? dude, she asked me.”
greg snorted. “right, and i'm dating taylor swift.”
“i’m serious!” he managed to let out with his mouth full.
“yeah, sure. what did you do, bribe her? save her cat? threaten to play your demo tapes until she gave in?”
rodrick glared. “you’re hilarious.”
greg grinned. “no, really. you? with regina george? she probably has a waiting list for people who want to speak to her. and you’re just, what, skipping lines now?”
rodrick pointed his spoon at him. “careful. i'll tell mom you taught manny how to say 'shit' yesterday.”
greg gasped. “you wouldn’t.”
greg narrowed his eyes. “fine. whatever. but if she dumps you in front of the whole school, don’t cry to me when your heart breaks and your band writes, like, twelve break up songs about it.”
rodrick smirked. “joke’s on you, we already started.”
greg rolled his eyes so hard it was practically audible and left muttering something about “weird rockstar romance plots.”
rodrick just laughed. but later that night, when he checked his phone and saw regina had liked one of his stories. he smiled longer than he meant to.
aaron was all charm and sweetness. “hey, regina. you look.. amazing.”
“thanks, aaron.” she said.
he shifted, glancing toward rodrick. “so, you and that heffley, huh? didn’t see that coming.”
“yeah, well. i like surprises.”
“you could’ve just told me you wanted my attention, you know. you didn’t have to-”
aaron gave a little laugh, like it was obvious. “come on, regina. everyone knows it's all fake.”
her throat went dry. “and if it was?”
“then it worked.” he said with a grin. “you got me thinking about you again.”
it was supposed to feel like victory.
it didn’t.
for the first time all night, she felt terrible.
when she turned back to check on rodrick, he wasn’t at their table anymore.
she found him outside, sitting on on curb near the parking lot. she stops herself from laughing when she sees his wrinkled dress shirt and sneakers. the roses lay beside him, half crushed.
“you ran off." he said without looking up.
“i didn’t run. i walked.”
she sighed. “he said something stupid.”
“no, I mean..” she sat beside him. “he said everyone knows it’s fake.”
rodrick’s jaw tightened. “isn’t it?”
her stomach twisted. “it was.”
rodrick sighed, leaning back on his hands. “you know what’s funny? everyone thinks i’m the one out of your league. but right now, you look like the one trying too hard to fit into mine.”
that stung. mostly because it was true.
she looked at him. “you think you’re better than me now?”
he laughed softly. “no, regina. i just think you’ve been pretending for so long, you don’t even know when to stop.”
her breath hitched. “and what about you? you’ve been acting too.”
that shut her up completely.
he stood up, brushing his jeans off. “you can tell people we broke up or whatever. i’m done with this.”
but he was already walking toward his van, leaving the roses behind.
the next week was quiet. too quiet.
no texts, no late night calls. the school moved on fast. new rumors, new gossip. regina kept up the act, but it felt like walking through fog. everything looked the same, but nothing felt real.
she caught herself scrolling through her messages more than once, typing his name, then deleting it.
until one afternoon, she found a flyer taped to her locker:
“LÖDED DIPER - live at the spring carnival.”
she smiled to herself. he actually did it.
the night of the carnival, she went.
she told herself it was just to “check out the event". but deep down, she knew exactly why she was there. the stage lights glowed purple, the crowd was loud, and rodrick was the center of it. laughing, alive, exactly where he belonged.
he spotted her in the crowd. for a second, he froze. then, he smiled.
after the show, she found him by the side of the stage, loading his gear. “you were great.” she said softly.
“didn’t know you were coming.”
“didn’t know i was either.”
he wiped sweat off his forehead, looking surprised and uncertain. “so what, you here to tell me you’re over aaron now?”
she shook her head. “i was over him the moment he thought i’d fake something like that.”
he blinked, unsure what to say.
regina stepped closer, heart pounding. “you were right. i don’t know when to stop pretending. but.. i wasn’t pretending with you. not really.”
rodrick just stared. and then that crooked smile appeared. “wow. regina george expressing her feelings. shouldn't i be recording this?”
she smacked his arm. “you ruin everything.”
he laughed, then caught her wrist gently before she could pull away. “you still owe me.”
“for all the fake dates, the public humiliation, and the emotional damage.”
“oh, please. you loved it.”
they stood there, music fading in the background, lights reflecting off the ferris wheel behind them. the world blurring.
without warning, she leans in and kisses him.
rodrick froze for a second before smiling against her lips. “you’re not gonna tell me this is still fake, are you?”
she smiled. “no, stupid. this one’s real.”
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