#greg heffley

[rev0lverluvr]

[zatdummesmadchen]

RODRICK × REGINA

The edits on tik toks are just mind blowing. You all have to check it out ♡

Okay so there are so many headcannons coming about from tik tok comments about Rodrick x Regina, so far I have been obsessed with these :

-> Greg’s journal overflows with frantic, illustrated entries detailing their "territorial disputes" and "weird, sniff-like greetings," each diagram more unhinged than the last. He titles the chapter "The Unholy Alliance: How My Brother Sold His Soul to the Queen of Plastic." So many pages filled with rants.

-> Regina's Burn Book entry on Rodrick begins as a masterpiece of venom. But over time, the insults curdle into something else: "Rodrick Heffley. Pathetic garage-band wannabe. Surprisingly doesn't have a completely revolting bone structure. Infuriatingly immune to social pressure. ...Competent drummer." The realization that she's writing compliments causes her to physically recoil, tearing the page out and setting it ablaze with hairspray and pure rage.

-> Speakin of books, she has a WHOLE separate book for him, black and thick, punk aesthetic even, she probably does it on purpose to make it look like a 'loser's book' referred to as the "Rodrick Records". She claims it's a "ledger of his failures," but it's actually a meticulously detailed log: his band's setlists, the cleverness of his comebacks (graded on a harsh curve), and observations on his changing hairstyles. His whole detail is in there bro.

-> Jennifer (yes — from Jennifer's Body) & tho mostly Avril Lavigne being their lovechild. Yes, you heard that right ✅️ based on both of their looks and aesthetics i presume. But esp Avril Lavigne. Also Sophie Thatcher for some.

-> Rodrick uses Fetch and funnily actually makes it happen. Either to get on Regina's nerves or to impress her friends. Supports or entertains Karen's theories and ideas.

-> the fact that Regina becomes so comfortable in their relationship as they grow older that she stops bleaching her hair (based on a grown up au agnst edit).

-> she gets ragebaited x he ragebaits her. loves when she gets angry, finds it hot. She loves bullying him, wants to strangle him and leave him with bites marks maybe.

-> Rodrick buys her the iconic "R" necklace. She wears it daily, telling everyone it stands for "Regina." Might make him wear one too under his clothes, which duh stands for her name obviously. Maybe both the necklaces stands for both of their names.

-> omg love the thought of Regina buying 'R' necklaces for both of them, telling Rodrick both of it stands for her name. lol. tho maybe both the necklaces stands for both of their name.

-> they have trinkets that matches the other's aesthetic but in a very subtle way or a mocking way, just trying to get on each other's nerves. trying out some new things. maybe even genuinely getting interested or beginning to like it.

-> He is not Janis. Janis was "vengeful, art-goth alt." Rodrick is "apathetic, sleazy, garage-punk alt." His rebellion isn't a calculated strike; it's a lazy, default state. This indifference is the one thing Regina can't manipulate, and it fascinates her.

-> he definitely cuts out pictures of her from the posters the Plastics put all over the school for an occasion or so. deliberately places his posters on top of it. has a messy drawer where he places all that stuff in. he's such an obsessed loser gosh.

-> he has been in her room once (to prank her), got distracted, eyed the posters of some artists on her walls and tries to imitate their style.

-> definitely rage baits her by playing loud music on her lawn and try to woo her by singing some romantic stuff and awesome drum skills (she throws a book at him)

-> Susan Heffley is initially terrified of Regina, but Regina turns on the "perfect, polite, goal-oriented young lady" act just for her. Susan ends up thinking, "She's such a nice, driven girl! Maybe she'll be a good influence on Rodrick!" This delusion amuses both Rodrick and Regina to no end.

-> Meanwhile, Rodrick is in the sunroom with Regina's mom, sharing her weed and critiquing modern art (bro has no idea what'shappening), sending Regina into a spiral of horrified disbelief. Definitely would annoy the dog. Even kidnap it.

-> He always has a cherry chapstick for her, and a compact mirror "so she can check for cracks in her facade." She, in turn, is the only one allowed to apply his eyeliner, criticizing his shaky hands. "Hold still, you dork. You look like a raccoon that lost a fight." And maybe couple years down the line, he's the one doing her eyeliner because damn it, how does he does it so good and absolutely wings it ?

-> okay buy omg. Imagine Regina being her queen bee self, gossiping and all that and Rodrick being her personal makeup artist loser boyfriend 🗿 that would be so funny. But he's digging it. Her gossiping on the phone and eating meanwhile he's brushing and holding her hair away from her face and tying it.

-> "ugh the lipstick shade is too dark", (kisses him) "hmm maybe some more"

-> tries to exercise, prove he is in fact worthy of having the Noble deed of carrying her stuff for her. Regina definitely pushes him to do it, sitting on his back and forcing him to do push ups or no laying on her ass anymore. [Probably happens later in their relationship. Let them hate each other first and grow as people hehehe.]

-> if he tries to be 'proper', the moment lasts for only a couple of minutes when she gets her hands on him, immediately his hairstyle is a mess and he's clothes are rumpled. and she would mock him for it and kiss him then push him away. Tho other times, she does have him dress fancy (with the promise of ruining it all later if he behaves).

-> she steals his clothes, actually. idc. she doesn't care either. wears it where no one can see her. or tells them that it is hers.

-> Regina forcibly tutors Rodrick so he doesn't flunk out and lose his driving privileges (and her designated, if disgusting, ride) (because someone thought destroying her car was a good prank). These sessions are a war zone of hissed insults and thrown pencils, but his grades mysteriously improve.

-> The only time they are ever genuinely, quietly nice to each other is when one is sick. Regina, feverish, is too weak to be cutting. Rodrick, with the flu, is too pathetic to be arrogant. They bring each other greasy food and energy drinks without a single sarcastic comment and will deny it ever happened once they recover. Rodrick makes sure Regina is still a baddie while she's sick, probably ends up getting sick himself taking care of her and cuddling, though he has to suffice with being on top of the blanket.

-> A multi-hour car ride is a perfect microcosm of their relationship: a brutal battle for control of the radio, shared laughter at the misfortune of other drivers, comfortable silence, and a unanimous, unspoken agreement to steal all the complimentary soap from a roadside motel. Karen and Gretchen are there too. And their boy toys.

-> TikTok nation gave me the ship of Karen Smith with Sammonroe — "They’re definitely like oblivious gf x protective bf and it’s like a mental slow burn where he pretends to himself he doesn’t actually like her." A citizen commented.

-> Basically I saw this crossover tik tok ship edit with the piarings. And just. Imagine these six in a car ride. Or any other shenanigans. The drama. The chaos. The potential they all would have.

-> like dude. Its giving powerpuff girls x rowdy boys. Alvin and the chipmunks pairings.

-> something, something, I love the idea of her maybe getting him a guitar but ofc being all like, "ugh I tried playing this but it sucks so whatever it's yours now" (it's clearly branded with her stuff btw)

-> McKenzie from dork diaries is regina's cousin and she and greg rant to each other about how fed up they are about regina and rodrick's teen angst.

-> their songs : Dirty Little Secret, Sk8er Boy, Teenage Dirtbag, Girlfriend, All The Small Things. Blue by Billie for agnst potential helllooo ??? Saw such a good agnst edit of them with this song 💔

-> he would call her Barbie, Goldilocks, QueenBee, Princess, etc. would never wash away her lipstick stains. would try to smell good so Regina would tolerate his ass and hug him.

-> They never get married in a traditional sense just yet. They just... never leave. Years later, they live in a slightly messy house with a practice space in the garage and a walk-in closet full of expensive clothes. They are still arguing over the thermostat and making out in the kitchen. Maybe Regina would have a big one, absolutely... but ahh i love agnst so maybe some things happens and thats why they end up marrying in like, their early 30s lol.

-> If anyone else dares to disrespect Regina, Rodrick will "accidentally" start a mosh pit that conveniently knocks the offender over. If someone insults Löded Diper, Regina will destroy them with a single, surgically precise insult that questions their taste, intelligence, and future prospects. They are the only ones allowed to torment each other. Though I think this might happen after they grow up a bit and start being more open with each other.

-> They have an entire language of glances and micro-expressions. Across a crowded party, a single raised eyebrow from him and a slight tilt of her head can coordinate a mass exodus or the social destruction of a common enemy. No words needed.

-> I love the thought of Regina somewhat being tutoring George, surprisingly being a stable influence on him, Rodrick, who loves that because more chances of wooing her. But also Rodrick and Regina end up lowkey tormenting George, but Regina will be the nicer one to Rodrick's ire lol.

-> the colorrrrrrs. She is so Hot Pink, Silver, Magenta, Cultured Pearl. He is so Dark Olive Green. Dark red. Dim gray. Dark slate grey. And you WILL notice that immediately with how often their stuff ends up being with each other.

-> Regina "accidentally" leaves a tube of her signature glittery lip gloss in his band van. It's found months later, slightly melted and covered in grime, wedged next to his drum kit. He never mentions it, but it stays there.

-> Rodrick "borrows" one of her pristine, sparkly hair clips and returns it with a band sticker clumsily slapped on it. She scowls, but is later seen wearing it, sticker and all, when she thinks no one's looking.

-> the aesthetics. Just all of it. There's so much more, ahhhh, but I am soooo lazy. Her playing his drums. He is a personal driver in her car. Sooooo much potential. He loves places his palms in her back pocket jeans and pulling her closer to him. He loves that he is taller than her. Imagine him working out - out of spite and wanting to annoy her with his built body (tho ofc things are not that easyyyyy Rod. That takes sweat and tears fr)

-> When she's stressed, he plays dumb little drum rhythms on her back with his fingers to calm her down. Or along the sides of her waist ♡

-> Hear me out the concept of Rodrick starting the rumour that Katie pushed Regina in front of the bus for her.

Adding more :

-> he attends all of her lacrosse games, hypes her up before each one. Wears stuff in her support (not even her team, specifically just for her lol). He makes sure she is fresh after each game, brings her whole makeup bag, and let's her vent out. Treats her later with greasy fast food. Might give her a piggyback right after all her hard work.

-> she would bully her friends into attending his shows. fully pretends she is done with everything but is enjoying the beat for sure. can't give her man too much confidence now. oh and she makes sure the dress code is on point for her girls fr.

-> @Elizabeth: She won't admit her R necklace is for him but he constantly has to angrily correct people that this stick and poke R tattoo is for her name, NOT his.

-> He would 1000% make her her own pink merch of his band!

-> Manny calling her a 'ladyboss'.

Adding more: (Dec 19 2025)

-> hear me out on Regina being a good cook, actual food rather than the junk Rodrick loves, her purposely making healthy food to force feed him or else (she doesn't want him to end up with a heartattack in his 30s). She is evil enough to make a bitter salad before offering him a plate of her delicious food. Vs Rodrick experimenting with her ingredients and making a sentient blob.

-> tho Rodrick does make banger smoothies, drinks and always has the snack pantry stached with top tier snacks. so he isn't all that useless in the kitchen. but Regina likes being alone in the kitchen, feeling unfathomable anger when someone dares to enter her domain while she is in there.

-> but also I like the idea of Rodrick being good at keeping their cars working top notch. getting messy in the process, getting stuff fixed esp when it's his van (he is very emotionally attached to it atp). Regina has several cars, sporty, big, elegant etc. I feel like she would like the kind which gives off a powerful, confident, unique look. She is a car girl. and you bet she makes sure they get a professional car wash (Rodrick would NOT let his van be taken care of anyone else, so only her cars get it).

-> wait a sec, I do love thought of Rodrick having a motorbike he customised himself. Regina does turn her nose up on it since it looks like it came right out of a steampunk comic book or an apocalyptic dystopian future, and she would rather prefer one of her sleek looking babies, but doesn't hesitate to go along for a ride on it. She does find it endearing esp the cute crowned bee with hot pink rhinestones charm hanging from it's key. And definitely gives her opinions when Rodrick comes up with crazy ideas to modify it further (he is NOT touching her cars, esp her jeep tyvm except for mechanical stuff but even then she will be keeping a very keen eye).

-> Regina's family absolutely have a yatch, she knows how to maintain it and drive it, has parties on it. loves the thrill of it and the way it has a stylish look just like her. she's also pretty good at surfing actually, loves flexing her abilities in front a frustrated Rodrick who flips off the surfboad from the wind alone. Albeit her dad did take pity on him and bought the guy a Jet Ski, which Regina mostly rides with him on the back because he is a scaredy cat when it comes to deep ocean (what if he gets swallowed by the megalodon). But gets the hang of it as long its attached to the yacht.

-> the concept of Rodrick being the one who hit her with his van and now has to take care of her. Or face a potential lawsuit </3

I am tired. Maybe will add some later. 🥀

[chriscdcase95]

You ever notice how in fandoms, there people who claim to like a character, or ship and such (or even dislike said characters) ?

But then you go and read their takes on these characters, and it's so utterly divorced from who they are in canon, that they don't even resemble the characters they claim to talk about ?

And I'm talking, in a way that can't be chalked up to being just an AU or Canon Divergence for a fanfic. It's the genuine fandom perception of these characters. Fandom describes them one way, canon shows them another.

And when it comes to disliked characters it's for things that...flat out don't exist in canon or at best grossly exaggerated. And it gets to the point where I question...do you even like (or hate) the characters you claim to ? Or just the AO3 OC's you slapped the canon names onto ?

[creepst-crypt]

Pure Brain rot. I don’t know why I made this. Maybe it’s bc I haven’t taken my meds or the summer heats just getting to me.

[nuggett-07]

i only read 3 books rn but i fall into transfem greg propoganda

[bimb0bun]

One Hell of a Summer! Rodrick Heffley x F!Reader pt.1

Summary: Rodrick thinks Greg's going crazy when he told him that Rowley's older sister was hotter than Heather, I mean, that's just ridiculous! Rowley's sister? Hotter than THE Heather Hills? Nahhh that can't be true...right?

With summer vacation coming up, Rodrick's annual plan of sleeping all day and watching TV all summer might just change this year.

Word count: 1,579

Tags n Warnings: Rowley's older sister! Reader, Angst, Fluff n all that but !!NO SMUT!! only suggestive scenes, curse words, scenes based on dog days movie, Reader has navel piercing and vertical labret, Mcbling! Reader , time period of their summer vaca is from early june 2012 - early september 2012

Author's Note: I accidentally deleted the first AND second draft of this story...

"...right, Greg?"

"Huh? Uh, Yeah!" His head quickly turned to a smiling Rowley. He nodded in agreement to whatever his best friend asked him, which was probably about summer break or something. His sight reeling back to the teen girl plopped on the sofa.

Rodrick would never believe this....

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sounds of laughter echoed through the Heffleys as Greg stood by Rodrick's room, looking at his older brother like he was some kind of hollering crackhead by the Kwik-4-U Mart.

Rodrick got up off the floor after laughing maniacally, "That's just ridiculous, lil' bro," He patted Greg's shoulder as he crouched down to his eye level, "everybody knows no one in this boring town's hotter than Heather Hills. You should really get your eyes checked,"

He stood and passed by Greg, drumsticks in hand, "or maybe the baby hippo's weirdness is starting to rub off on you?" Laughing as he walked down the stairs, earning a sigh and eye roll from Greg.

💋

It was the last day of school before summer break at Westmore Middle School. Every student was all trying to make the other sign their yearbooks.

The school was soon in your peripheral vision as you catch a glimpse of your younger brother talking to a blonde girl with his friend.

With the hoard of middle schoolers on your way and occupied parking spaces, you opted to park your car next to a creepy white van. As you got out of your car, the big Löded Diper painted on the van's side put you to a stop, "What the hell is a Löded Diper?" removing your shades for a brief second as you looked at the van in judgement.

Students parted like the red sea, head turning as you walked by, heels clicking on the pavement. This town really was nowhere near the big city of New York, and that was what you loved about Plainview. It was quieter and slower. After your persistent asking, begging, and listing reasons why you should move back to Plainview, your parents finally decided to agree. They didn't want you to leave New York City, as for them, it is a city full of big big opportunities.

They weren't wrong. But for you, New York is also a city full of big big rats. They should've seen the rat you found at your apartment last month! OR the rats you go to classes with!

You now saw your brother again with Greg but the blonde girl was nowhere to be seen, a boy your age with messy hair was there instead. Though he seems to be in pain as he was clutching his right foot.

"Y/N!" Rowley excitedly waved at you as he saw you walking towards them. Making the other two turn their heads towards you. There you were in your plaid miniskirt and white tank bedazzled with the word "Angel" on it, juicy couture bag on your shoulder.

Rodrick swore you were an angel sent to him by the Gods while Greg swore he was about to vomit 'cause his brother had weird disgusting heart eyes and a dopey smile.

"Ew." Greg whispered to himself, grimacing in disgust. The look on his brother's face really nearly made him vomit.

Walking past the two boys, cutting Rodrick's dazed stare. You quickly sidehugged your brother and ruffled his hair, "How's school?"

"It was fun! We signed each other's yearbooks today!" You nodded at Rowley with a smile as you diverted your attention to Greg.

"Hey Greg! You coming over again tomorrow?"

"Maybe anothe—"

"Yes!" The messy haired teen quickly cut off Greg and placed a hand on his shoulder, "Greg here will be there tomorrow with me."

"What?!" Greg frowned, "Rodrick you've never—"

"Mom said I should come with you tomorrow for us to bond"

"She did no—" Rodrick smiled at you and quickly put a hand over Greg's mouth before he said anything any further. Greg slapped his hand away in disgust and muttered something about Rodrick needing to wash his hands.

You turned to the boy your age with flyers on his hand, pointing your head towards Rodrick, "He a friend of yours too, Rowley?"

"Uhh..He's Greg's Brother..." Rowley said, looking a bit terrified which made you squint in curiosity.

You turned your attention back to the boy, raising your eyebrow as you looked at him up and down, your eye caught the words written on his shirt. You chuckled in amusement as you crossed your arms at him, "Löded Diper?"

"Uh, yeah," Rodrick smirked at you trying to act cool, "I'm the drummer. You know, we played so loud once that we made someone's ear bleed,"

A weird band name with an even weirder drummer..

"Uhm, okayy," Scrunching your face in disgust but nodding your head either way, "Let's go Rowley,"

"Wait! I mean, not literally!" Rodrick quickly defended himself after his lousy attempt of flirting.

"Bye Greg!"

Greg returned Rowley's wave as he faced Rodrick, "You should really stop telling girls that, Rodrick. It's kinda disgusting."

"Shut up butt face!" Rodrick exclaimed, smacking Greg in the face with a handful of flyers, "She's just trying to play hard to get," He murmured.

☀️

First day of summer vacation and Greg is starting his first day—with playing Twisted Warlock all afternoon.

He had everything perfectly planned for summer including making sure that his dad won't know about him playing video games all day. Clearly, his perfect plan was flawed and failed miserably based on what he told Rowley. He told him everything. From his 'totally not flawed' plan to his and his dad's plans for the weekend. Rowley didn't understand why Greg was upset about spending time with his dad this summer, but nonetheless, he still tried his best to comfort his best friend.

While Greg and Rowley chatted away, Rodrick has also been chatting (more like flirting) with you from the moment him and Greg came over. He's been telling you about how his band is going to have their big break soon and not-so-subtly asking you out this summer.

And you're not mean enough to say no to him. I mean, sure he was kinda weird but to be honest, he also is kinda cute.

"Sure"

"You– I– What?" Rodrick was taken back by your smile and calm demeanor, expecting an eye roll or turning him down or something meaner like every other girl he took interest in.

"I'll hang out with you this summer."

Rodrick chuckled and internally pumped his fist in celebration, mind running wild as he thought of all the places he could take you on a date with. He had a 30-minute shower and drowned himself with perfume for nothing!

Your parents won't be back until later from their date night so you were the one who would be cooking dinner tonight. Living with an aunt who is a professional chef for a while definitely had it's perks as you successfully made dinner without setting the house on fire. Rodrick helped set the table as you finished cooking.

"Dinner's ready!"

After a while, the four of you finished dinner. Rodrick immediately stood up grabbing the remaining plates as he saw you about to take plates from the table to wash, "I'll help you with that"

Greg looked at him weirdly as this was very out of character for his older brother. Rodrick insisting on helping with chores? Heck, Rodrick back home would've acted like he was allergic to chores or something! Seeing his brother insist on helping with chores felt real weird for Greg. Did he hit his head?

Rodrick didn't notice Greg's weird stare as he went after you to the sink.

"So uhh how'd you get Mr. and Mrs. Jefferson's permission?"

You briefly looked at him in confusion as you continue to wash the dishes, "Huh?"

"Your piercings I mean," Rodrick pointed to his lip, "They don't seem to be the type to, you know, allow their children to have piercings, especially at our age."

"Oh! uhm, I kinda didn't ask them?" You chuckled, placing the last plate by Rodrick's to dry off, leaning back on the sink as you watched him dry the dishes, "I got this pierced by a friend back in New York. They definitely didn't take it well though, lost my car privileges for this. New York subways are literal fever dreams!"

Rodrick laughed, "You should definitely help me get in touch with that friend of yours."

"You definitely do not want to lose your van and band privileges for this, Rodrick." You shook your head as you laughed, earning a shrug from him, "Piercings would look nice on you though."

It was time for the Heffleys to go home. You and Rowley followed them to the porch to bid your goodbyes.

"See you again soon, y/n" Rodrick smiled but soon faltered as you stood silently, looking at him like he forgot something. He laughed nervously, "What?"

"Say Heffley, how exactly would you contact me?"

"Right! I knew I forgot something!" He slapped a hand on his forehead, scrambling to find a pen from his pockets. You popped open your glitter pen as you reached for Rodrick's hand which was feeling his pockets for a pen. Rodrick admired you as you were so focused on writing down your number on his clammy palm.

Though he wouldn't admit it out loud, Greg was right. You definitely were a lot better than Heather Hills who won't touch him with a 10 foot pole even if it meant scoring a date with Justin Bieber.

"There!" You two looked at the slightly smudged numbers at his palm, "Call me soon"

"I will"

It was absolutely going to be one hell of a summer vacation for Rodrick.

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One hell of a Summer! masterlist

[coolest-boooom]

[graceeblu3]

at the end of the day, it all comes down to which team you’re on