Spoilers for the finale of the purgatory arc
I think spoke started breaking when he realised there was nothing left at spawn but ruins. Parrot was supposed to be good for spawn. To protect it. Why had parrot failed him?
And then it continued with mapicc, mapicc was supposed to listen to him, to protect him, to leave no survivors, so then why had he let them get away?
And of course, the last failing. Jumper. Had jumper learned nothing? Thinking she wouldnt just get herded right back to null, as long as null was out there she would never be safe, why not help spoke cauterise it at the source? Why run now? When they could revolt instead?
Truly the best hands were his own. His friends hadn’t been there when he needed them, not really, half because he pushed them away, and half because he couldnt rely on them, and so, he was left with only power as his most reliable companion.
You can’t even argue about the commander being there because that guy will flip on spoke the moment he finds someone stronger 😭
Of course thats not even including the horrors he went through under jamato, and then being shunned by most of the prison, when all he wanted was to escape, failing in gathering a team/army the first go around with the hunger games, he can only care for so long, and its hard to continue to give a shit about people who don’t seem to care half as much as he
Indulgently, i do hope patchbreakers gets revived eventually with them both being alive and jamato admitting he still wants spoke back, even if a version of him that doesnt really exist anymore, maybe we’ll get them actually talking it out and ending up friends again :(