Human Trainwreck™ @sociallyawkwardforfreakingever - Tumblr Blog

you need to be nicer to people who have never had a chance to learn to do what you want from them. you need to.

like, universally. everyone reading this really could be nicer to ppl with no life experience. do u know what it’s like to spend years living in some sort of fucked up rapunzel scenario?

bobdylanyaoi

onethousandfrogs

Funniest justification for gay sex thank you Marlon Brando

estrogenesis-eeveeangelion

fake people pleasers when marlon brando arrives

hometoursandotherstuff

lizardsister

good god when the onions and garlic hit the olive oil..........

bumblebeesnees

Panties hit the FLOOR

lizardsister

you know it sister

solarifle

"we have to accept the fact that the r word is coming back" NO WE DONTTTT NO WE DONT

pocketdogs

a customer returned a drink because a fly flew into it and said: “one of your flies flew into my drink” and my coworker was so confused that they just said: “…my fly?”

moth-moth-the-magic-moth

#MyFly

moghedien

One like nitpick thing that drives me crazy is when people call Blue Whales the largest whales or the largest living mammals or some shit like that

Because yes that is true. But when you frame it like that you are completely disregarding the absolutely batshit reality that Blue Whales are the largest animals that have ever existed on earth through the entire history of the planet and they are alive right now today

amberautumnfaebrooke

has anyone noticed recently that it's expensive

sociallyawkwardrevolution

times like these really make you appreciate pouring river water in your socks

loreleywrites

you solve the mystery of what to have for dinner one night and you think "hell yeah case closed forever" WRONG there is a dinner mystery the next night too

mildmayfoxe

1) any stretching is better than no stretching

2) any vegetable is better than no vegetable

3) statistically you will never be the worst person at anything, there is always someone in the world who is worse at stuff than you are

enbaluka-tokyo-drift

dandeliont3aandsageleaves

"Brennan is the best game changer contestant" this "Brennan is so competitive" that

Okay well I've never watched in fear as Brennan hit a bong full of whisky for a game changer now have I

themaidenofwords

Brennan plays the game to win and be funny doing it.

Ally plays the game like a jester who is trying to see how strong the protections against being executed are.

milowing

the father (dolly parton), the son (sabrina carpenter), and the holy spirit (miss piggy)

dragon-in-a-fez

one of the funniest conversations I ever had with my ex was when they were still getting used to Celsius and asked me "what's 20 degrees?" and instead of converting it, I said "it's the highest your dad will ever let you set the thermostat and when you say you're cold he tells you to put on another sweater, we're not made of money" and they went "oh, 68"