Random stuffs and math

Well, as it says, here I will be posting random stuffs and the results of a stupidly niche math project I did during Junior year of college. Enjoy!

[what-even-is-thiss]

Yeah I saw the lovecraftian horrors and didn’t succumb to madness. What- no I’m not a cultist, James. For Christ’s sake. What you’re forgetting my friend is that HP Lovecraft wasn’t a flexible man. His brain simply wasn’t stretchy enough to take it all in. I however, have short term memory issues. Flexibility is the name of the game when you can’t remember if you ate lunch or not. What’s the size of the universe? Big. You knew that already, James. Come on now. You don’t need to witness the terrifying ocean at the base of the entirety of reality itself to know that. Pass the brandy.

[what-even-is-thiss]

You must imagine the character I’ve created here wearing a suit and a monocle, by the way.

[thesilvertophat]

During a Eldritch Horrors based tabletop RPG my character was a young dandy who wasn't particularly interested in all this monster mystery stuff but his father (my brother's character) was a researcher who WAS very into it, so Bertie went along to make sure the old man didn't get into too much trouble. It was your average Eldritch Horrors RPG in that you don't make your characters with the expectation that they will survive for very long, both the game itself and the genre are very intent on turning your characters inside out, driving them insane, and blowing them up in no particular order.

The thing was, everything in this nightmare hellscape just seemed to keep coming up Bertie because the man was too stupid to realize what genre he was in. Every time he had to roll for a sanity check whenever he saw something crazy, the dice treated him so well that he just... didn't get it. Gee that sure is a funny costume. There's something wrong with that dog. These mean guys in stupid hats are trying to hurt that young lady, we can't have that! I had not built him this way, his intelligence stats weren't even that bad, random chance just made it so that this man was living a scooby doo adventure while everyone else was being consumed by The Horrors. The final straw was at the end of an adventure when Bertie escaped from the cultist headquarters by breaking out through the mansion's front window on a motorcycle with a hot rescued sacrificial maiden clinging to his back and leading the cultists on a merry chase through the hedge maze while the other adventurers escaped. His sanity score? HIGHER than when the adventure had begun. He had found the whole experience quite thrilling and felt very good about life in general! Bertie retired from adventuring to marry the maiden he rescued and care for his aging father and delight and bemuse his friends at the gentleman's club with stories of his 'wacky' adventures. I didn't want to risk breaking his ridiculous lucky streak.

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[teaboot]

I'm going to start a game show where I play songs the contestants have never heard before in a huge room with bad acoustics and they have to guess what the lyrics are

[teaboot]

Mall Cafeteria: Yoonotugudubegowin Hobububuduhabusah / Gubudubudubugee Guddubagudduhgoin / Im done hidinow I'm shinin like a bubaubee / Peecesobidah ! / I'm so bryduh / ba du wannuh / reeEEEEEEEEEEE

Me, sobbing: please just tell me what you want

[teaboot]

Intercom: Sonubuhuguduhbawheeeeenin Sonny gonnabe beezin / tonight [...] Pubugusweenin,,, tonight [...] Never felt this way before withaynyone / Baby /Guzzabunawuningadada fEEwan / tunnite

Me: ...Harry Styles?

Intetcom: TUNNITE

[teaboot]

Intercom: AYEboduh,BRYgoduh,WHYdumunuhRAYbee GUYbroduh,DIEbroguh,,FIEfuguhPAYbee AYEbpridufunubuhaguhduhRAYFWEEEEEEEEEE

Me: Ariana baby I know that's you in there. Give me your hand. I can get you out

[teaboot]

The kind of posts you make about media when you regularly forget you have Autism and ADHD and Auditory Processing Disorder and Photophobia and Visual Snow and Aura Migraines and and and and and

[golittleghostlittleghostgo]

how dare you

the man is holding a sword

damian is on his knees, richard and todd on either side of him, plucked from their lives and their homes by a pathetic attempt at resurgence by League castoffs and stragglers, and thats enough to make damian want to scream

the league is his, even when it is nothing. even scattered to the wind and blown to bits, all that the league ever was and ever will be belongs to the al ghul

belongs to him

but that sword... that sword does not belong to him

that sword belongs in the hands of a boy more radiant than damian could ever be- bright and brilliant, crystalline and cunning, with skin two shades paler than damian's and eyes a bright, beaming blue

that sword belongs in the grave

that sword belongs to damian's brother

the words 'how dare you' are not strong enough. so when damian says it, he doesnt stop. he calls the leader of their captors- not the league, never the league- the shame of his family, the shame of his mother

he slings words with bitter meanings. says his mother would spit on him and call the dogs to piss on him if she knew what he had done

and he means it. he means it

he wants to carve out this traitor's heart for daring to defile his brothers grave, and he knows they do not kill, but he thinks this deserves an exception

this is more than a crime

this is a declaration of war

never has damian been so tempted to pick up the lethality of his weapons again, to sink back into the ideals he was raised to

shouldnt he? doesnt this sin demand retribution?

but who will give it to him? who else will take it but his own two hands

the absolute fury the thought causes, the resentment, leads damian to understand todd better than he ever has. if this is how he feels about the Joker, damian thinks its a miracle he can stand to be in the same room as their family at all

the leader of this egocentric farce laughs at him. taunts him. damian screams at him from a place pulled so deep in his chest it makes his throat hoarse, pulls at his lungs and his stomach

he can feel his indignance throbbing in his toes

at the other end of the hall, something explodes

black bat slips in through a hidden doorway, batman following close behind

the moment damian is freed, he launches himself at the leader, at the coward who hides himself behind a mask of gold and claims power he does not know how to wield

who dishonours his twin's sword

he throws himself into this fight with desperation, with the fury of a thousand suns. he feels more than himself now, feels almost as if his brother is beside him again, flowing like water as damian rages like fire

he knows he is not

(he wishes he was)

he is so so angry

he is so angry the sword he reclaims comes down on the arm that pulled it from where it belonged and severs it from its body, the move born as much from his own desire for vengeance as from muscle memory

he is pulled away by the bat as the man screams his pain for the world to hear

the assassins have been dealt with. they escape

drake pilots the aircraft, freeing father to speak sternly to damian about his excessive use of force, but his lecture falls on deaf ears

damian is curled over the blade like it is the body of his brother, is wiping the blood away with his shirt and whispering to it, crooning words of apology and atonement

he wonders if his brother will accept

its only when richard kneels in front of him that he realizes he has begun hyperventilating

richard, as ever, is gentlest with him. he is the first to ask what is wrong

he cannot help himself. tears streak down his face and his fears pour from his mouth because this sword is his brother's. his twin's. his most beloved person, the other half of damian's soul. his light and his joy and his hope and everything damian thought he took with him forever when he left. when he died

(some of those things, damian got back. his family is patient, after all. stalwart, and as kind to him as they are capable of being.

there is still a part of damian that lies cool in the grave next to his brother)

what if he is unsettled now? that piece of filth unearthed his twin's grave, stole the only thing they had left to memorialize him- damian's bright, beautiful brother, crooked smile and excited jabber and all- tore it from where it belonged and what if it has disturbed his rest?

what if his spirit is untethered now

what if he becomes vengeful, becomes hungry, becomes attached to this plane, dragged back from wherever he might have been at peace because his final rites have been uprooted and cast aside

damian cries and he spews out all the fears in his chest because they are too big and he feels so so small

'baba,' he sobs into Dick's chest, firm arms wrapped around him as hes rocked slowly back and forth, like the baby of the family that damian always insists he is not, but right now very much feels like he is. 'baba what if he is hurt? what if he is lost?"

its too much. just the thought pulls a wail from damians throat, his feet kicking like a toddler in the throes of a tantrum

and he cries

damian drew blood with his brothers sword, and there are not enough apologies in the world

if his brother does become a wandering ghost, it will be as much his fault as the traitor's

he cries until he is sick

how dare the traitor? how dare damian?

...how dare they

~

OMAKE:

Tim: okay can i just be the first to say: what? no seriously what the fuck. damian has a brother?

Cass: had

Tim:

Tim: Had. had a brother

Tim: Fuck. fuck. *goes to his room to call Conner cause fuck*

Jason: *already whaling on a punching bag in the corner*

Steph: *working an overseas mission with babs, hasnt even heard about the whole Sword drama yet*

Duke: *asleep because hes the fucking day shift*

Bruce: *still in the batjet, gripping the controls and trying to talk himself down from a minor psychotic break*

Damian: *sobbing his brains out and also puking and also trying to clean his brother's sword and also trying to remember how to make sur so he can start burning offerings to hopefully appease his brother's spirit ASAP*

Dick: *helping damian get the right stuff to clean the sword because he is literally crying so hard he cant stand. staving off the breakdown to end all breakdowns*

Alfred: *thriving. glowing. prosperous. amen.* *disclaimer: when he is no longer ignorant of what has transpired, he will be fetching his guns

[golittleghostlittleghostgo]

someone is crying

danny doesn't know how he knows that

its not like he can see it

but he knows

he flies all around Amity Park. nothing. a few little kids that he hovers over, invisible and worried, for a short time until their parents find them

once, its an elder sibling. danny watches that for a long time, the way the elder brother soothes and coaxes his sibling until his tears dry up. he watches until they leave. he stays long after.

its only once the sun goes down that he realizes hes been floating there for hours, feeling bereft

why

he doesnt know

he can still hear the crying

eventually it stops. even so, sleep doesn't come for him that night.

the crying picks up again the next day in the middle of History, and it's even worse now; little snuffles and breathless wails

someone is crying

and danny doesn't know how to help them

it keeps happening

on and off. by hours and days

danny's temper shortens. he snaps at his classmates, at his teacher, at his friends. he avoids his parents like the plague

he doesn't know what's happening. he doesn't know what to do

it hurts. he hasn't told anybody about that, though he mentioned the crying when Sam got fed up with his temper. but he hasn't told them how he feels. untethered. how theres an ache below his breastbone, like something in him has gone hollow

he doesn't tell them that when he hears that crying, tears slip from his own eyes in agonizing sympathy. he doesn't tell them that he curls up in his bed in the wee hours of the morning, listening to a blur of murmured words, smelling something bitter and sweet, sugared like burnt popcorn

he doesn't tell them that he doesn't recognize the language, but the curl of it is so familiar to him, soothing in a way he's never known anything to be.

he doesn't tell them that when he sleeps, he dreams

danny doesn't dream, as a general rule. not since he died. nocturn controls the dreams of the dead, and they have no particular fondness for each other. danny's dreams have become nothing but swirling black since they fought

but now, he sees glimpses of silver as he sleeps, in his hands, at his throat. tastes spices on his tongue that he doesn't have a name for. walks tender steps in soft shoes on terra-toned floors, walls arching up around him.

he speaks but rarely laughs. fights but rarely rests.

warmth spools across his hands, as the pale faces at his feet grow paler.

beside him is a shadow. beside, behind, before. Danny can never glimpse the whole of it. he tries to chase, but the space between them stretches and stretches, until he falls.

he drowns in green

when he wakes gasping for the fifth time in a row, he decides enough is enough.

he goes to nocturn

its not pretty. ghosts dont invade each others haunts for a reason, but danny doesn't have a choice if he wants nocturn to listen to him. their fight is epic, and it sends aftershocks throughout the whole of the Realms

he's not sure how long they fight. what he is sure of is that he wins

when the smoke clears, nocturn tells him what he wants to know

the dreams are of his missing past, and the focal point is in a different dimension, one that, in relative dimensional terms, is directly above his.

danny doesnt remember anything before he was nine. he knows this.

for some reason, he never expected it to matter.

when he asks nocturn if that's why he keeps hearing someone cry, if that's why those tears well up in his own eyes and make their way down his own face, nocturn actually looks sympathetic

hes scolded for invading nocturns haunt and hes scolded for not telling him why he was here in the first place

'if i had known you sought a disturbance to your grave, you would not have needed to force entry,' nocturn tells him, all in a huff

and danny. didnt know he had a grave

theres the portal of course but. thats different. thats his grave but in a rather more practical sense than a headstone with his name on it. its in his face, too. mundane. he sees it every day. the sickly green swirl of it no longer makes him nauseous.

it doesn't belong to him, so is it really his? danny doesnt think so. too many people have left their fingerprints on it for him to feel comfortable claiming it as his own. he'll never rest there

but this... if he has a grave (how, why, nobody else knows he died, why would someone mourn him from another dimension) he needs to go. he needs to find it.

its been disturbed

his grave

danny goes to clockwork next. he does that now, before making major descisions. he knows one day he'll have to grow out of it, but for now, it reassures him to check and make sure he's not found another path to becoming Dan.

clockwork might be wily, but he wouldnt lie to him. he cares about protecting the timeline too much for that.

once he's has clockwork's blessing, he goes to frostbite and asks to borrow the infini-map

when he learns what its for, the yeti chief agrees. danny swears to return it safely. he knows the dangers of it, now. he no longer takes the power of the Ghost Zone- the Infinite Realms- lightly. hes learned better than to do that

and then, he goes.

he left a note for his parents. about Phantom. about everything. part of him is relieved he doesn't have to see how they react

maybe... maybe they'll understand.

he told jazz what he was doing, too. what he needed to do. he said goodbye. just in case.

the dimension he lands in is expansive; sprawling and enormous. theres so many stars, so many planets, and when he finally winds his way to Earth, there's lands there that he never knew

its beautiful

its familiar

he follows the pull of his grave, strong now that he's in close proximity to it, and finds himself in a city. its coated in grime and smothered by smog, and it pulses with death and decay. danny can feel the energy of half a dozen curses all trying to cannibalize themselves and each other

not exactly serindipitous

but fitting. yes, maybe that

danny breathes in the air and laughs when it burns his lungs. just the City saying hello

danny thinks hes gonna like it here

[golittleghostlittleghostgo]

There's a boy

His eyes are wide and emerald green, a shade that tugs at danny's chest in a way he can't explain, something like the fondness in nostalgia and something like the love in loss

his mouth is open, too, lips parted in shock, which, yeah, fair. danny did kind of poke his head out of the ground in front of him; is kind of floating upwards so most of his torso can be seen in order to point tentatively to point at the source of the tugging and aching he's been living- ha, living- with for the last months

"um. sorry to interrupt but. is that mine?" he asks of the sword lying in the boy's lap, being... polished, danny thinks. at least that's what the soft cloth and little tub of ointment makes it look like.

the boy makes a small, broken sound.

"akhi?"

danny twitches, blinking rapidly. he doesn't know that word. he doesn't know what it means. but somehow, hearing it from this boy's mouth sounds right. sounds like something falling into place.

danny didn't know there was anything missing.

"yes," he breathes, before he knows what he's doing. leaning forward- because he cant help himself, because theres something about this boy that makes danny's heart want to crawl out of his chest to nestle sweetly in his palms- he asks, enthralled and desperately confused, "i'm sorry, I don't- whats your name? i don't know who you are. what does 'akhi' mean?"

"akhi?" the boy asks, his voice cracking and fragile, the sound of a heart breaking. "how- what do you mean you don't remember? you don't know who I am? you don't know me?" his voice pitches higher the more questions he asks, until he sounds on the verge of panic.

danny shakes his head, his eyes as wide as the boy's, watching with an awful helplessness as they fill with tears, and danny knows, viscerally, that there is something deeply wrong with the sight

"i don't remember. but i know you. im sorry, i don't understand. i don't know how. but i know you. i would always know you." danny doesnt know what hes saying. he doesnt know why he's so sure, like it's the truest thing hes ever said.

"i don't remember anything from...," he hesitates, unsure how to put it into words. "before," is what he settles on. "whats your name? i need to know. im supposed to know. please tell me."

"Damian," the boy chokes out. Damian, damian, yes, that's right, thats perfect, and danny still doesnt know why, but its just right. the tears finally overflow from Damian's eyes as a sob is wrenched out of him

danny zips closer immediately, hands fluttering. he wants to reach out, wants to touch, wants to smother. that sound, that sound, that terrible sound. devastating. forbidden.

why

why does danny feel this way?

(it scares him)

"please dont cry," he blurts. "akhi- akhi is here, damian," the name flows off his tongue in an accent he doesnt recognize, the curl and lilt to it as foreign as it is familiar, but its perfect, perfect. just right and all his. "so don't cry. please don't cry."

his eyes dart around the room- a bedroom, he notes, in the far-off corner of his mind that's still capable of rational thinking- landing on the door with a fear that shakes him, because he doesn't know why hes feeling it

safe, safe, theyre not safe.

stop crying

danny darts around damian, wrapping him in the large coils of his tail and tentatively placing a hand on his cheek, bringing damian's face to the crook of danny's neck to muffle the noise.

the sobs taper off into tiny, snuffling sounds, the slick heat of tears and snot smearing across danny's suit and the underside of his jaw. he feels the flutter of wet lashes on his cheek, feels a mouth moving against his neck in a continuous pattern

somehow he knows what it is, without even having to be told

akhi. akhi akhi akhi

round and round it goes. like the sign of infinity.

danny shudders at the strange ecstacy of it, stroking a hand over damian's head, smoothing his hair. his coils tighten around damian, around his... damian (akhi akhi akhi) until danny can feel each of his breaths, the in and out of his diaphragm against the coolness of danny's own skin.

"i'm here," he murmurs. "akhi is here, damian."

damian makes a small sound, burrowing further into dannys embrace, if such a thing is even possible. his nails dig into dannys coils so sharply they would surely break skin if danny were human.

as it is, danny is grateful, for the first time in a long time, for the accident that made him something Other. if he was human, he couldnt have comforted damian like this, couldnt have held him so so so tight and snug. close and exactly where hes meant to be.

crooning softly from deep within his core, danny closes his eyes, luxuriating in the feeling of damian's hair and hands and skin and scent and here here here and mine mine mine

after a while- maybe hours, maybe minutes, it was all the same to danny as long as damian was in his arms- damian speaks up, his voice small and uncertain.

"akhi?"

"hm?" danny hums, rubbing his cheek against the top of damian's head, making the soft, short hair there tangle and frizz.

"I'm s-,"

theres a knock at the door, and before danny has the chance to do more than bristle, its pushed open, revealing a man with a disgruntled expression and a shock of white in his hair.

"Oi, Damian, if you don't hurry up and come down, Dick's gonna-," he sees danny. stops. his eyes flash a bright, sickly green. familiar. wrong.

with a roar, he attacks.

~

OMAKE:

Jason *groaning*: Ughhhhh whats taking him so long

Tim: hes been polishing and performing rites for the sword almost constantly for the past two weeks. i wouldnt be surprised if he lost track of time.

Steph: or just doesnt wanna come down. he acts like itll kill him if he has to be apart from it

Cass: grieving. worried. lost.

Steph:

Steph: im not saying he doesnt have reason to be, i just mean its not gonna do him any good to hole up in his room and forget to eat. hes not tim, he cant handle that kind of thing. damian still has a chance to grow

Tim: hey!

Steph: *sticks out her tongue* shortie

Tim: im literally just here why am i being attacked??

Dick: someone needs to get him. hes struggling right now and it wont help if he misses sunday dinner

Jason: *scoffs* you mean like B?

Dick: *firm* exactly like B, who is not exactly a model for healthy emotional responses and not who we want out little brother to be trying to emulate in a time when he needs the support of his family the most

Steph: NOES GOES

Everyone: *scrambles not to be last*

Dick: *smiling* Jason, how kind of you to volunteer

Steph: HA! good luck loser, hope he doesnt bite your face off

Jason: fuckkkkkkkkkk

Damian: *panicking at the confirmation that his brother has become a lost spirit, panicking HARDER because his brothers spirit doesnt remember him, feeling so so so terrified his brother will be angry when he realizes what damian did and what happened and how damian was too weak and too far away to stop it even though he should have protected his brother, even if it meant never stepping foot outside of nanda parbat ever again*

Also Damian: *happiest hes been in years, desperately trying to pull his brother inside him or melt into his twin's strangely malleable skin, either/or, both is Good, hes not feeling picky*

Danny: *sees damian. immediately glomps him* mine now *purrs*

Bruce: *in the cave, going through every single line in the database even tangentially related to nanda parbat, talia, ra's, or damian. having the breakdown Of All Time*

[golittleghostlittleghostgo]

"Don't kill him!"

silence echoes in the wake of damian's scream; stillness overtaking his brother's body. nobody moves. nobody even breathes.

slowly, his akhi lowers his hand from where it was raised, poised to rip out Todd's throat. Pinned on the ground and wrapped in coils of crushing strength- strength that cradled and comforted Damian so gently only moments before- Todd's eyes are radioactive green, and compared to the softly glowing shade his brother's spirit possesses, they're far murkier; fever-bright.

trapped as he is, even the lauded pit madness can do little to aid him. todd arches his back, throwing his head, but is unable to free himself. Damian has no doubt he would still be bellowing his fury to the world if akhi's tail was not covering his mouth.

as his akhi starts drifting upward, damian is granted hope that this mess will be resolved without any permanent injuries or property damage.

that hope is torn away when his brother rears back, fluid and boneless like a snake, only to surge forward once more, mouth splitting- and splitting and splitting- until his whole face is torn in half, revealing a maw like a black hole, lined with rows upon rows of jagged teeth.

It's so horrifically familiar, Damian's head spins as every last ounce of blood drains from his face.

Akhi screeches in Todd's face at a pitch and volume that forces damian to slap his hands over his ears lest his eardrums rupture and he get blood on the antique carpet. alfred would not be pleased.

by the time his akhi finishes, his skin folding back into place, Todd is limp on the floor, unmoving as akhi unwraps himself from around him, returning to his place coiled around damian, arms wrapped around his shoulders, face pressing into his hair.

todd's eyes are open, ears weeping red

damian stares, and forces down the bile in his throat.

the door bursts open.

"Damian!"

Richard. On his knees.

"Fuck, Jay!"

Damian can't move.

"Jason!"

Wrapped around him, his brother begins to croon.

"Little Wing!"

His brother, who was never taught not to kill. His brother, who died. Who does not know the only law of the Manor- who was- who has- who is dead. His brother. His akhi.

Todd lies still.

His brother.

Damian's lips part, and even he isn't sure what's going to come out. It feels like a scream.

"F'ckkkkkk off," groans the body on the floor.

Damian blinks. His pulse thunders in his ears. Coils tighten and loosen in an anxious pattern around his torso. In his ear, his brother's crooning resolves itself into words.

"...breathe. Damian, breathe."

"Akhi?" Damian croaks, eyes on Todd, who's leaning heavily on Richard as he sits up, blinking and dazed.

His brother coos at him, blinking eyes with slit pupils until they return to roundness. "Okay," he says haltingly. "Okay now. Won. Won't attack again." The end of his brother's tail lashes in agitation as he looks at Todd struggling to pick himself up off the floor despite Richard's fussing.

"Shouldn't," he says, narrow-eyed. "He is... Revenant. Volatile." His head tilts, the suspicion melting into something more like concern. "Sick?"

Sick?

Just as Damian's opening his mouth to ask, the window shatters, Black Bat, Signal, and Red Robin crashing through it. Their weapons are trained on his akhi before they even land.

"Who are you and how did you get into this house?" Drake barks.

Lurching forward, akhi covers Damian with his own body, startled and on guard. "Akhi, wait-," Damian starts, but he's interrupted by the sound of Richard's voice, a steely, barking command as much as a question.

"What did you do to Jason?"

His akhi's head whips around. For a moment, Damian catches a glimpse of the child he once knew, who had to contain a flinch as he saw what training awaited them that day.

Fear. It still sits the same on his brother's face, thought it no longer has any place there. He's not supposed to be afraid anymore. He was supposed to be at rest.

Instead, he's surrounded by unknown hostiles on all sides, pincered. Panic stirs in Damian's chest, egged on by his brother's clutching hands and tightening coils; the way he shrinks back, small tremors beginning to wrack his form.

When akhi doesn't answer, eyes darting around the room, losing himself in the threat and the unfamiliar environment in a way they were always trained not to do, Richard draws the taser he keeps on his person at all times, aiming it over Damian's shoulder.

"I don't know who you are, but get the hell away from my brother."

The taser crackles in threat, and akhi's freezes, his eyes going big and round. One moment he's there, staring at the threads of electricity skipping between outstretched metal prongs, a comfortable weight on Damian's shoulders and chest, and the next, theres nothing but air.

Damian cries out in surprise, swiping for the air where his brother was. "Akhi!" He spins, searching.

There's nothing.

"Damian!" Richard dives forward, grasping him by the arms and looking him over for injury.

"Let go," Damian snaps, struggling to free himself, but it makes no difference. No matter where he looks, his brother is gone.

"He was here," Damian says, the first fingers of desperation digging into his heart. "You saw him, he was right here."

"We saw him, alright," Drake says grimly. He pulls out his batphone, already tapping away. Probably looking into how to upgrade security. Nobody should have gotten into the Manor without some kind of alert going off, even a spirit. Yet, nobody came until after akhi's bone-chilling screech.

"Damian, Baby Bat, who was that?" Richard asks him urgently.

"Danyal." Damian says through numb lips. "That was my brother."

[mihri-the-sasscatte]

Size comparison of Y’gathok, the Ceaseless Hunger and Bjorn, our level 20 Goliath Barbarian.

[professorsparklepants]

Hey quick question: why the FUCK do you have that

[kittyopteryx]

Imagine, from out of nowhere, your dm casually slapping this thing down on the table like any other encounter.

[mooretimetoplay]

“Yeah, the fight will start in a sec, uh…I’ll give inspiration to whomever helps me get this fucking box out of my car.”

[necrowemancer]

https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/7asxci/oc_ygathok_the_ceaseless_hunger_final_boss_of_our/ This is the reveal of this ridiculousness during their game

[jelloapocalypse]

Please watch this reveal video it’s kickass

[creepsandcrawlers]

FUCK ME  the reveal video

[threefeline]

“CHRIS??????”

[tanoraqui]

“Um, I don’t think our plan is gonna work.”

[8bitmickey]

[island-delver-go]

Always reblog Y'gathok

[robot-roadtrip-rants]

always ALWAYS reblog Y'gathok!

[elisecairo]

[xsugarxglass]

This is some Scooby Doo shit XD

[killowave]

[supremeshogunrj]

The longer it takes for this to come across your dash the funnier it is

[libraryogre]

Which will fade first? Memories of the Area 51 "raid", or memories of Internet Explorer?

[str8aura-no-not-that-one]

Oh my god....

[willowcrowned]

Something very cool to me about Star Wars that’s also a complete accident is the way space in the OT feels so much darker and emptier than in the prequels. Obviously it’s just a result of Lucas getting the green light to do whatever he wanted and sacrificing structure for tons of world building, but it does really make the prequels feel more full of life than the OT.

You see Tatooine and Naboo and Coruscant in the prequels, Kamino and Geonosis and Utapau and Mustafar. Obi-Wan and Anakin throw out random names of planets three times a movie, coupled with a quip about something that happened there. There’s a whole, thriving galaxy out there that feels immediate because the characters know it, because they’ve been there and they remember it. And then… the OT. Luke has never left Tatooine. When he does, the first planet he sees is a smoking ruin. Dantooine, that Leia mentions, is abandoned. Han hasn’t touched his home planet of Corellia in years. Hoth is hidden and desolate. Dagobah is home only to one person. Bespin is out of the way, and also the only place Han, Leia, and Chewie have to go. The galaxy is cut off in the OT—darker and emptier. And it’s a total accident, but… it works anyways. The Empire has risen. The galaxy is splintered. Everyone is alone.

[tatumsdrawing]

Hello

So I’ve been binging a bunch of DPxDC crossover fics cause they’re hella fun. And I wanted to make some fanart for a handful of the fics I’ve been reading just to show how vastly different Danny gets portrayed. It’s really fun!! I love when ppl make Danny get Jack’s tall ass gene’s, but it’s also funny to see him as a scrawny lil guy. He’s a pretty moldable character

Anywho, it’s just been fun, so here’s some fanart. Thanks to the authors for writing them 🙏

Fics in order of art:

Like Beta Fish Do by @clockwayswrites

Ghost in the Morgue by @the-witchhunter

Secretary Danny by DeathlySilent13

If You Give a Bat a Burger by @noir-renard

If you give any of these a read, just make sure you mind the tags/ratings

[teapotofbees]

I’ve read 3 outa four of these and they’re so good!! Adding Secretary Danny to my reading list asap

[connieboldheart]

I love making these - let me know in comments/reblogs where you'd sit! :)

[do-not-u-dare]

9. 3 is the worst choice btw

[teaboot]

1-Any of the 3 seats around 1 WILL have bare Gollum ass foot and taint on them at some point. Those seats appear empty but are in fact occupied by his various alternate identities

2- Seems innocent enough, and Frodo will mostly keep to himself, but Sam will absolutely be waking you up getting him granola bars and shit out of their carry-ons. Will also meanmug you if you try to get up to use the bathroom. Gollum will also be leaning in and hanging over your shoulders whenever he takes a break from kicking the seat.

3- Out of the question, unless you are 7-19 year old extrovert and/or have nothing to lose. WILL clap when the plane lands. WILL eat your crackers if you’re asleep when the flight attendant comes around. Very little consideration for personal space.

4- It’ll be a long silent flight and they’ll both be courteous and polite but there will absolutely be a heavy third-wheel sort of tension, like they’re too nice to say anything but would be way happier if you weren’t there. Your only chance is to offer to switch seats so they can hold hands, but Aragorn WILL take a nap at some point and he WILL talk in his sleep. Also, if you switch for the aisle seat you will need to keep in mind that Legolas is absolutely going to recline his own chair directly on top of you.

5- Faramir is a sleep mask and headphones type of guy, and the window will remain closed. Eowyn’s longing glances to the right may be overlooked, but she’s also the type to monologue at increasing volume if you get to chatting and reach a topic she’s passionate about. Seat 5 is my personal choice, as it presents the lowest possible chance of waking up to a makeout sesh on either side OR a missing eyebrow.

6- Depending where the relationship dynamic is at at this point, it’s a coin toss between “Grandpa’s War Stories” and 8 straight hours of “I’m Not Touching You”, “Stop Hitting Yourself” type shenanigans on both sides. Also, putting the Dwarf in the window seat was a bad idea. You KNOW he gets airsick, and placing him in a corner directly between the only three elves was an act of direct biological warfare on the side of the airline.

7- Not the worst choice, as long as you don’t ask any questions about the family. Boromir is the type to share his political opinions at length unprompted, though, and responding in any way will only make it worse.

8- You are not cool enough to sit here.

9- This is an aisle seat, which is good, because you can get up to fake a bathroom visit when the vibes get too bad. Feels like going on a road trip with your dysfunctional parents only for them to announce their turbulent and resentful impending divorce mid way through. When it’s good, Galadriel and Gandalf will lean around you for a catty bitch sesh without you, which will also be bad, but at least you can listen in on the hottest gossip. Only gets worse when the edible Gandalf pops at take-off finally kicks in.

[help-help-i-need-an-adult]

3 because we’re going to make this flight everyone else’s problem

[detectivehole]

emperor kuzco was clearly gay

[detectivehole]

hes 19, with unlimited power, and he ain’t got a gf. the only time we see him interact with any women his own age is when he’s rejecting like 7 of them rapid fire. he pretends to date pacha in a gag that lasts like 10 solid minutes. listen to me god damnit

[qqueenofhades]

Okay, but just in case anyone is coming to tumblr dot com for my hot takes on 20+ year old kids' movies: Kuzco super WAS gay (or at least coded as such) and of course, I didn't get it until I watched it as a gay grownup.

He is played obviously camp and dramatic, for a start, and there is the aforementioned "hate your hair/not likely/yikes yikes yikes/let me guess you have a great personality" summary dismissal of all his potential brides. Then he spends dinner asking Yzma about Kronk ("so he seems nice? He's what, in his late twenties?") and otherwise being slightly obsessed with him.

Then there is the whole Adventure of Doom with Pacha, him being ever huffy about the Kiss of Life, and then the restaurant gag where Kuzco takes to playing Pacha's fake wife and dressing up in ladies' clothing with great gusto (reinforced by the waitress' "bless you for coming out in public" remark when Pacha says they're on their honeymoon). Then when he is finally de-llamafied, we don't see him paired off with the obligatory girl from the lineup earlier, as might otherwise be expected in a Disney movie. Instead he is still single, but goes to found family it up with Pacha, Chica, Kronk, etc, which dare we remark is a very queer trope.

In short, I have no idea how a Disney movie with no white people (all the characters are Indigenous/people of color), a gay king, cross-dressing jokes, and the most offbeat plot of all time actually ever got made (can you imagine the Family Friendly Mouse doing that today? Let us also talk about Kronk because he is a brilliant deconstruction of both toxic masculinity and the musclebound henchman stereotype.) Other than that this was the Chaos Hour of animated movies in the late 90s/early 2000s, and yes.

So yes. There you have it. I will not be taking criticism at this time.

[flavinbagel]

In response to the question “How did a movie like this get made at all much less by fucking Disney?” there was a recent Vulture article that outlines the whole shit show of a history behind this film according to everyone (writers, directors, VAs, Stings) involved. The gist of the story is that they fucked up making a whole, true-to-form Disney musical that never came to see the light of day SO BADLY that Disney switched directors, locked the writer’s room, and didn’t review a single script until weeks after the film was in theaters.

Please, read this article if you have some time. This story is wild, and involves directors being pitted against each other Bake-Off style and a shockingly intimate documentary created by the wife of Sting who, himself was heartbroken by the decimation of the songs he wrote for the film including cutting a fantastic Yzma villain song sung by Eartha Kitt that is SO DAMN GOOD but would not ever have fit the more nailed-down Yzma we would eventually come to know and love. It’s so catchy though, I’m doubling up on calls to action but please listen now:

[theterriblethingabouttulio]

holy shit read the article. it’s worth it and completely batshit

[kat-witha-k]

This is fucking insane

[brightlotusmoon]

[mod2amaryllis]

I've never adequately appreciated the batshit brilliance of this joke, I've taken it for granted

[worldheritageposts-official]

World Heritage Post

[theweirdwideweb]

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[vigilantsycamore]

eeby deeby... i haven't heard that name in years...

[digitaldiscipline]

[oonightmareoo]

I read this fic and now I need so much more.

Gimme the Bats' side of it, actually.

Just Bruce seeing this hero with no previous connections as a hero and being confused when a background check provides an identity, but that identity is squeaky clean, despite it being attached to a vigilante. No arrests, no misdemeanors, no awards in high school for being exceptional - or red marks for being tardy, late, or otherwise getting into weird situations. Batman then takes the background check even higher, looking into the secret identity's parents and grandparents and cousins and the identity just collapses as a fake one at some point.

Gimme Dick seeing a hero mope around when looking for someone to rescue, seeing Phantom just flying around aimlessly when he isn't actively rescuing someone, and being like "that kid needs a hug and a heart-to-heart chat."

Gimme Jason seeing the same thing and seeing it as reluctant heroism, making him assume that Phantom is being threatened or blackmailed into being a hero - which isn't wrong, but Red Hood goes about looking for whoever is pulling the strings in the wrong direction.

Gimme Tim looking at the same background check that B did, independently and without going into the alias' family history, and just going "that's a load of bullshit" without knowing exactly why he thinks it is. But as he observes Phantom and, to use the fic's alias, "Michael," his brain keeps pulling up little facts from the alias' background search and just noting that Phantom/Danny and "Michael" couldn't be more different on paper. So, is this another one of Ra's' schemes to mess with Tim? If that's so, couldn't he have obtained a better actor? So, Red Robin continues to mess with Phantom until he realizes "aw shit, I actually like you as a person, man."

Gimme Duke having absolutely no clue about any of it because that's not his shift, but he's good friends with this guy in a different major than himself named "Michael" and he's pretty sure the guy has figured out that Duke is a vigilante... but the guy observes Duke in the strangest way? Like, his body is turned to the side (to avoid the camera in the collar catching what Duke is doing) and his head turned to watch Duke bow out of whatever he's doing? And it's on purpose because Duke has seen the man quickly turn his body when Duke has something "suspicious" going on.

Gimme Damian admiring Phantom but just not trusting the guy. Phantom always seems so shifty even while doing such incredibly acts, always seeming to search for words to use and then having a seizure when words are coming easily to him. It's just so... strange to Damian but like, maybe it's due to the guy's powers or something. Robin goes about making documentation on whatever Phantom says before a seizure and it creates a bit of a pattern.

Gimme Cass, as each Bat is off to the side doing their own independent investigations into Danny and getting a different idea for what's going on, to show up for a night or two, meeting Phantom, and immediately going "that's not right" and pestering Phantom until she can figure out what caused her to think so.

Gimme Steph trusting Phantom at first, as much as a Bat can at least, but figuring out something is off and thinking it's because Phantom is there to harm the Batfam - which, not wrong even if it is reluctantly. So, Spoiler becomes very outspoken in distrusting Phantom and it's, quite frankly, a relief to Danny.

Just, more of this type of fic pretty please?

[xxxxactly]

Brutalist maze, Seattle

[3liza]

its called Freeway Park and while it is one of the most interesting single examples of Brutalism in the united states and im proud of it, it is so poorly designed in terms of public safety that it has been renovated twice(?) but continues to be geographically troubling, as its design has facilitated a lot of murders over the years. it was the subject of a funny but gruesome article in the STranger in 2002 called Topography of Terror. the city doesnt keep official tally of how many murders or assaults have happened IN the park but two men in their 30s were stabbed nonfatally during a robbery there earlier this year, for example.

[commiemartyrshighschool]

Suspect that building mazes is perhaps not conducive to public safety, outside of minotaur isolation scenarios.

[kakastravakaianapoda]

shout out to potc character Bootstrap Bill Turner because if he did not have the galaxy brain idea to hide a cursed piece of gold from a bloodthirsty, vicious, immortal pirate crew by sending it to his defenseless child, non of the movies would have taken place the way they did.

Literally father of all time no further notes no further comments

[beemovieerotica]

[weirdmageddon]

i know most people have seen it but i cant emphasize how much this is literally my favorite breath of the wild clip of all time. also i can never fucking find this clip when i need it especially in high definition so here it is

[rozzwellie]

This video made me cry so I wanted to put it here

[catgirltitties]