[morethan3dgy-deactivated2022111]

I heard something interesting about sociopaths and I thought I'd share: sociopaths love movies. The reason someone came to that conclusion is because sociopaths need something to reference in order to mimic regular human behavior similar to how I study people obsessively. Although this makes perfect sense, I highly doubt this is an accurate fact. Still, I'd like to talk about it.

I've never been diagnosed or even tested for ASPD, but I have plenty of antisocial "qualities" whether that's from autism or something else that wasn't diagnosed. Personally, I believe movies are a waste of time and there's nothing to learn from them unless they're documentaries. The reason I don't use these to learn human behavior is because a movie teaches you how to stand out and be the main character while my goal is to blend in. I actually found that watching YouTube videos, especially ones of people telling stories where you can see their gestures and expressions, are the most helpful. It really does a better job at showing how people normally behave while speaking and interacting.

[sociopaths-diary]

I completely agree but for a different reason – people watch movies because they can be enjoyable. It’s really not that deep. Not every detail of your life revolves around your personality disorder.

[sociopaths-diary]

Friend: Haven’t seen you in a while, wanna hang?

Me: Sorry, I’m currently too busy plotting the downfall of someone who wronged me – I’ll get back to you in 5-10 working days after I’ve ostracised this bitch from all her friends and made her feel like an unwanted outsider in her own home

[your-aspd-dad]

Do aspd’s have an aversion to saying things like “I love you” in romantic relationships? I would think it wouldn’t matter much if they did love them or not, just to appease the other person they are in a relationship with and make life easier, + lack of remorse if they didn’t mean it...? from my experience (I’ve dated two people with aspd for a considerable time each) they both had a very strong aversion to saying the words. Do you think there’s a reason for this?

Hi

So, I think this is an interesting question. It really depends. Let’s say the person with ASPD actually does care about their partner; they may hold back on saying the words because they view it as a symbol of weakness. It’s a genuine admission of vulnerability, something we try to avoid at all costs. Now, let’s assume their aversion has nothing to do with their own feelings: it’s possible they could be avoiding that “next step” to keep the other person in check. Saying I love you is a big shift in romantic relationships, and the person with ASPD may not be interested in that. It could imply a level of commitment they’re not ready/wanting to convey. I think a very real possibility could also be that the person with ASPD really just doesn’t know whether or not they’re actually in love. I don’t mean to speak for everyone, but I know I have a very difficult time labelling my emotions when they are present, which makes understanding how I experience love very difficult. Personally, I’m not very personal in my romantic relationships. I’ve experienced all of the above which is why I’m speculating these may be reasons, but also, at the end of the day, I’m very flippant with what I say and never know when I’m lying, so I understand both sides of the coin, I guess. They could also avoid saying “I love you” for the same reasons anyone else might.

I encourage you to ask others about this and hopefully the other Mods can weigh in, too!

-Mod Jane

[sociopaths-diary]

I have a very strong aversion to things like these, saying ‘I love you’ in particular. The reason is a strange wave of disgust and discomfort, and a person will naturally avoid such emotional reactions. Regarding where such feelings stem from - I have no idea. It is an emotional reaction I do not understand.

[sociopaths-diary]

Somewhere stuck between ‘I should be the center of the damn universe’ and ‘oh wow kill me before I lay eggs’

[anaspdlog-deactivated20220214]

hey, i just stumbled upon your blog today and i’ve been debating whether or not i am sociopathic for literally years now. i’ve never gotten into any serious trouble growing up (except a few fights in middle school), preferring to be left alone most of the time. i’m diagnosed with PTSD and i think trauma and depression chipped away at my ability to empathize so now in others’ emotional situations i just feel awkward. the biggest trait that makes me go back and forth is that i don’t actually care to manipulate people most of the time, because it needs me to give a damn in the first place. i also don’t deceive often, especially not for wanting people to like me, because i view that as sellout behavior to my authentic self. my relationships (including friendships) are intense and fleeting - if any one of them is to up and leave at this moment, i’d feel very little. i do feel guilt and remorse. i’ve been introspecting and i think what i mistake as empathy in some situations is a strong sense of fairness - i get riled up easily that way, but after the injustice has been corrected, i stop caring about the victim. i know none of this guarantee or exclude me from sociopathy, but i figured i’d get your opinion because i’m tired of being viewed as an edgelord when i earnestly try to discuss this.

Hey! Thanks for your ask. I’m gonna go in as much depth as I can and I asked other people with ASPD I know for their opinion, so what I say has come from a few of us discussing it!

First off, I want to say that I am in no position to say that you do or do not have ASPD. I am not a professional, and I can only go off of the information you tell me.

That being said, I think that this could be ASPD, there are certainly grounds here to suggest that. I was never in any serious trouble as a child, either (was wanted for questioning a couple of times and shot someone else in the throat with a homemade bow and arrow, but that’s neither here nor there). So, it is still possible to have it without having been in a lot of trouble when you were younger.

You saying you don’t give a damn is very dissimilar to my situation. I get quite embroiled in anything like that. I’m very impulsive, act without thinking, and just do things for short-term satisfaction. However, people with ASPD can also be very controlled, disinterested, and apathetic. This may be where you fall in.

Regarding what you said about relationships, I feel as though I would need more info. Intense and short-lived relationships are definitely a big thing in the cluster b community, so it may be worth you researching other personality disorders to see if you better align yourself with them. Myself and the others I have spoken to with ASPD (not to say this means everyone is the same, we are all different) have agreed that we have trouble with people just deciding to up and leave us, whereas when it’s the other way around we don’t really care. It is a control thing, I believe, but that’s just an example of how we experience relationships.

One of the big things about ASPD (from my experience, those that I know, and through my diagnosis) is the inability to feel guilt or remote. I believe that all cluster b disorders experience some impairment to both empathy and ability to experience guilt, and, of course, personality disorders are a spectrum in which some may feel no guilt or remorse at all ever, and others may feel it in some situations. I also have a strong sense of fairness and will push for the underdog and advocate for equality, so I can agree with you on that, but for me it is more about a justifiable reason to do something than empathy for the victim (I made a post previously explaining that this is why people with ASPD are better placed to do good in the world).

I hope this helps. Feel free to send me another ask or drop me a message if you want to talk about it in more depth. I am also sure that some people in mine and my friend’s discord server would be happy to speak to you about their experiences, too. But, you definitely are not edgy for thinking that you may have ASPD. It’s a spectrum, you don’t have to murder beloved pets to qualify for a diagnosis!!

[sociopaths-diary]

I won’t bother with deep analysis because I feel what’s included above is a very good response, but to put in my two cents anyway - I suggest looking into other personality disorders such as szpd because I’m reminded of it as I read the description. Note that the way you feel may not even be related to a personality disorder to begin with, as depression in itself can also alter a person immensely, including what’s been described. However, most of all I just suggest seeing a psychiatrist or any other professional who may better help you get clarity on what might be going on. Though mental health professionals may make an incorrect diagnosis at times, the fact remains that they are better equipped in these cases than the average person.

[lilithczar]

KING

[sociopaths-diary]

A very good song if you’re looking for something to listen to.

[emikko667]

Ohhhh I see how it is LMAO

@aspdgoth @carnivorous-tomatoes @imjustangryandbored @narco-path @your-aspd-dad-jokes @vacantlycruel @sociopathic-hybrid @thevoidavi

[sociopaths-diary]

I disagree.

Though mimicking behaviours and masking is a large part of how I - and possibly many others with ASPD - function and behave, it does not only make me dangerous or lovable because ‘otherwise no one would ever love me’. It is also what makes me safe for others. Precisely because it is not inherent in my nature, it helps me better treat the people I ‘choose’ because I am then able to better cater to their needs. You ought to be careful with how you may further contribute the harmful notion of those with ASPD being bad people only out to hurt others. Some of us just want to be left alone and live your lives.

[sociopaths-diary]

I recently received a threat via my personal email - if I did not pay $950 in two days, sexual videos recoded via my device cameras would be made public. I must say, this was easily the highlight of my month. I recall my emotional reaction now for analysis and decided to share it as some may relate to it.

My reaction was divided into three subunits (which, naturally, occurred simultaneously):

Firstly, a part of me assessed the risk with reason with regard to the facts of the matter at hand, emotion disregarded in order to avoid clouding my judgement. How likely was it that such recordings had been made to begin with? Was there anything in the email that could point to such specifics that there was no doubting the threat was real? If in any case the threat would later prove to be true, how much was the estimated ‘cost’ of such videos being made public for me? In the end, the overall assessment was not difficult to make. All the facts pointed at a low-risk situation, and even if videos of me were made public, it would hardly hinder my life in any way.

Then came anger. How dare some lowlife threaten me? If only they knew who they were messing with. How can I track down this email address and cause them twice the inconvenience they have caused me by wasting my time? Make no mistake here, I am very aware of how much of an asshole that makes me sound. What I simply want to express is the rage that arose when I no longer had to prioritize my rational side.

Lastly was amusement. It’s a smart trick, really. However, with how carefully the email was formulated, the poor sender wasted so much of his time trying to make money off of others. At the same time, I feel giddy at the thought of those who are stupid enough to fall for a trick out of the fear of shame and embarrassment.

That’s the post. Take it with a grain of salt to not fall for empty threats.

(And a closing note - I read this again for grammar and I came across much more flat than I initially intended. Still, this is just all fun and games and shouldn’t be taken too seriously.)

[sociopaths-diary]

The list of my mental illnesses is longer than my grocery shopping list

At least I’m committed to something amirite

[emotionalwords]

[sociopaths-diary]

sikE

[sociopaths-diary]

How do you personally test and buy loyalty? I've found that most of us do it in a different way. I tend to test by acting as though I favor someone else more, and seeing how they react.

I rarely have to ‘test’ anyone in a literal sense, mostly because most people are replaceable. However, it is easy to measure someone’s loyalty according to how far they’re willing to justify your actions that upset them, and how far you can go with that without you needing to offer an apology to them.

Buying loyalty is just as easy. You buy them dinner, or bring back something when you go out without them. People are simple; I don’t have to pull any complicated and extravagant tricks out for something like this, it’s a waste of my time. However, there’s a way that is a little more complex than that, but I’ve come to embrace it after unintentionally doing it - I stop masking around someone, which in turn makes them feel intimidated and as if I dislike them. As a result, any positive attention you give them (be it compliments, spending some time with them, etc.) will gradually ‘buy’ their loyalty, because an occasional show of interest will make them feel special for that short period of time.

[sociopaths-diary]

People who think we are ‘close’ really be out here thinking I won’t drop them on a whim

The overconfidence smh

[sociopaths-diary]

Pfft, what? No, I’m totally not going to law school to learn how to break the law, that’d be crazy

[anaspdlog-deactivated20220214]

Pfft, I’m totally not doing the exact same thing, but with the added desire of earning a lot of money

[sociopaths-diary]

Le gasp

[sociopaths-diary]

Pfft, what? No, I’m totally not going to law school to learn how to break the law, that’d be crazy

[anaspdlog-deactivated20220214]

Manipulation 3

If you want information from someone who appears to be emotional, start by asking if they are okay. This tends to break down boundaries, so they are more likely to give you information

[sociopaths-diary]

Alternatively, make a factual statement about whatever they’re emotional about (if you’re aware of the topic and general circumstances), but make sure what you say is incorrect. They’ll likely tell you more as they correct you.

[sociopaths-diary]

I’m trying to deal with jealousy. I never thought I could feel it but right now it’s driving me crazy. I’m suspecting it’s largely anger disguising as jealousy but either way this feeling sucks

Naturally, when something you regard as yours is taken away, an emotional response seems to be normal. Personally, I don’t struggle with this because I find it extremely rare for me to get attached to people ‘just because’. People who offer me something I want, be it information or something else, are indeed an entirely different story and may raise my anger. However, this anger is fleeting as my brain tends to rationalise and analyse all of my emotional responses, and eventually come up with a solution to strengthen someone’s loyalty to me (with this I simply mean them standing by me and viewing me as more important than others). This one is usually easy and is more effective when exercised long-term even before their loyalty is tested; you must demonstrate you went out of your way and thought of them when you did something for them. You’d be surprised how big of an effect even the smallest things have. And, of course, loyalty can most often be bought with gifts if you manage to mask your intentions well.

[readyytoletgo]

Anyone else have a parent who's a narcissistic sociopath?? How do you cope?

[sociopaths-diary]

I don’t know your exact circumstances and my advice definitely isn’t the best as it does not account for the emotional healing you might need to do (for that, I have no other idea than going to therapy). In any case, there are some things I did to avoid the inconveniences of having a father like this. 

First of all, in my case, appearances were everything to my father. Not within the home necessarily, but rather how his family appeared to the people he needed to advance his career, for example. At a young age I learned to excel at various things, most important being school, and so I previously studied abroad and currently attend law school. Though this might create pressure on you, it is advantageous to yourself as well in long term. Not only will you directly benefit from excelling at things, but this also earned me unspoken ‘privileges’ from my father. He did not need to keep me on a leash to make sure I kept on the appearance that was so important to him. I could come and go as I pleased, he did not try to control the things I did or pry into them, he was generous with money, he used his connections to find me work in the legal field. This all meant that he did not display as much of the symptoms of his condition towards me, which became increasingly obvious as I compared his attitude towards my brother.

In short, I took advantage of his mindset to get what I wanted.