✨lex // he/they // 23 // ⚣✨ furry toyhouse: punkworm humanoid toyhouse: unswag DA: sockworm 🐉 (This blog is intended for requests only, contact on one of the above sites for more info ♡)
sometimes a theme recurs in your work without your permission. and sometimes it reaches a threshold where you're like. well now i think this is saying something about me against my will. don't know what though
Hi, firstly I wanted to say thanks for running this awesome blog! I know theres a lot of things not studied about DID and imo it is most important to hear from DID systems. Glad you guys are here! 👏
Here's my actual question:
I am writing a character that is a furry character based off the Chimera. I was thinking this character could be a way for me to portray a system, which is something I've been wanting to do, however I do not want to be disrespectful or inaccurate to actual systems.
I also understand that the association with a mythical monster could be offensive, but would like to add that this is a theme of my story and an interest of mine, and that I have a lot of singlet characters in this universe also based off monsters/mythical creatures [dragons, vampires, etc]. However, being accurate and not demonizing DID is my top priority here and if that still feels offensive I am totally willing to repurpose and rewrite the idea.
Thank you!
Thanks so much! This blog may be a little quiet, but we really enjoy having it as a resource for people :)
There's a lot of mythology about creatures and characters who have themes of duality and being multiple things at once, so I don't think it's out of place at all. I like the idea too, of a collection of creatures functioning as one, yet having their own wants and desires that have to be balanced. Whether a chimera is more of a frankenstein-ish creature or cursed/blessed or just happened to be made like that, I love the idea, and I don't think this'd be demonizing at all :)
i made this instagram post !!! there isn't as big of a community of AAC users on instagram so I thought I would share this on my instagram (@cytochromesea).
EDIT: i got an ask that states that not everyone knows what AAC is which is an oversight on my part, it stands for alternative and augmentative communication!
Image ID:
A light blue background with a rainbow and a cloud and some stars. There is a blue border collie with wings holding an aac tablet that says I love you! Text reads: AAC etiquette. Do’s, Don’ts, and other stuff. By cytochrome sea.
The same background appears in every following slide. Text reads:
AAC is my voice! It is not a toy or accessory
Don’t touch my AAC without my permission
Don’t take my AAC away from me, for any reason (joke, punishment, etc)
Don’t press buttons randomly or flip through my communication cards without permission
How would you like it if I randomly poked you on the mouth and throat (or on your hands if you sign)? It would be unpleasant, so don’t do that to me
Some AAC users can speak sometimes. It is not your business why someone can or cannot talk
Don’t ask questions about why an AAC user cannot speak.
Do let us communicate however is best for us in that moment
Don’t ask us if or when we will be able to speak verbally. It’s not your business
Do not value verbal speech more highly than AAC. Any communication is good communication
Some of us never talk, either, and that’s ok! Those of us who can talk sometimes are not better than those of us who can’t. None of us owe you an explanation for our use of AAC.
Don’t look at my screen until I show you. It feels really invasive!
It feels like when someone is looking at your phone screen over your shoulder, so please don’t do this
This applies to low tech AAC as well, don’t look at someone’s cards or letter board until they show you
You have the dignity of forming your thoughts in your head before you say them, whereas my thoughts are all on display. Please afford me the same dignity that you get automatically.
Don’t shame someone for not being able to speak verbally. It makes us feel horrible
We are real people with thoughts and feelings. Please treat us with kindness.
We are trying our best
Don’t shame someone if their device mispronounces a word. It’s quite literally out of our control.
Other Don’ts. Don’t
Don't Treat an AAC user as childish or stupid for not being able to speak. Our ability to speak does not define our worth
Don't Show frustration at the way someone communicates
Don't Make comments about how fast or slow we communicate
Also don’t…
don't Act surprised when we swear or talk about adult topics like sex, drugs, or violence. We are not pure uwu precious smol beans, we are normal fucking people
don't Assume what is “wrong” with us. There are about a hundred reasons for someone to use AAC and you probably aren’t the expert in any of them.
“OK, so what CAN i do?” im glad you asked! When interacting with an AAC user, DO…
Ask us how we prefer to communicate and support us as you are able
Assume that we are competent
Talk to us with the same respect, tone and vocabulary that you would for any one else
Give us money (this one is a joke)
Understand that AAC grammar isn’t perfect and we are doing our best
Is it rude if…
I can’t understand your device? Not rude! Misunderstandings happen all the time in any conversation, just be patient as you would normally.
I want to complement your AAC? Not rude!
I ask to see your AAC and understand how it works? This isn’t rude if you are already talking about AAC, but don’t ask random strangers this. They don’t owe you an AAC tour.
Thank you for listening! This post is for the community! If you are an AAC user, let me know if I missed something in the comments and I will pin it! I hope you are filled with peace and love and I hope something good happens to you today! End ID.
being immortal and having DID must be crazy. yeah our boy Carlos hasn't fronted in 300 years and just woke up to the sound of Uptown Funk and started screaming
writing DID systems, part 2: the disassociated identities
I've talked before about writing DID systems, but my disorganised mind has more points to talk about, so here's a part 2, electric boogaloo.
most alters have a unique relationship with reality. This can fuel a lot of conflict in our lives as many alters are constantly looking for validation that they are real - and being blown off as "not real" is a devastating blow as it confirms their worst fears. It can be distressing to exist knowing that you are simply a subordinate to your host. You don't exist like a human, you don't get to have achievable aspirations, or your own life. Once you are pulled unwillingly from your reality, that's it.
Another source of tension is how we are perceived. Many fictives (and I assume factives, too, though we don't have any) are very susceptible to becoming obsessive, willing to risk relationships, energy and happiness to be canonically compliant, for fear that if they aren't, they're existing wrong. And when that fear is confirmed, well... Here's a piece written by Virgil to explain in detail.
[I got canon-shamed once. Genuinely I think it's the most distressing thing that's ever happened to me. We were in a server that claimed to be sys-friendly and I posed the idea that we could include an alters introduction channel, to help alters in the server feel more at ease and able to speak as themselves. The mod who responded spoke in a way that was just "friendly" enough that I didn't feel I was able to argue or yell at them. I don't remember the entire conversation, but at one point they said that they weren't comfortable with my existence because I wasn't completely canon-compliant, and I definitely remember what that felt like. Legitimately I felt like I'd been stabbed. In hindsight, this was definitely what a full-blown panic attack felt like, hyperventilating and sweating and shaking, the works. I had to pull up my shirt at one point to make sure that I hadn't actually been injured because the sweat and pain in my chest made it feel like I'd been stabbed. This was in the evening, too, and none of us ended up sleeping that night. I'm certain I looked like a stereotypically insane character in a movie, biting my knuckles until they bled and rocking back and forth. Writing it out it sounds silly to be this affected, but it was devastating to know that there were people who were actually uncomfortable with me simply for the crime of existing.]
Over time, many of our system became more willing to stray from canon unapologetically, sometimes giving up huge parts of their original character that made them unhappy - or reinventing themselves entirely, allowing themselves to be as much of a mary sue as they wanted if it made them comfortable with themselves. Even then, though, there's a level of performativeness, as many alters still feel the need to act differently to make themselves seem more "human". So if you meet an alter who's not canon-compliant at all, rest assured it took blood and tears to get there.
an alter's unique relationship with reality comes up even more than just in interaction. In a system with a religious host, for example, alters may feel dejected as they feel that the Gods or God will not hear them or take them seriously. Or, on the reverse, an alter may follow a completely different theology to the host, but feel torn and guilty for it, especially if it is a theology that does not exist in the host's reality, and therefore is not "real".
(talking about this next issue might get me some flak, so let me preface this by saying that I don't condone blackface or brownface, even in this circumstance and do not believe it should be normalised, and neither do the affected alters.)
furthermore, a system with a white host and PoC alters poses a challenge as well. White alters can cosplay themselves, dyeing the body's hair, adding wigs, clothes and the like, while PoC alters can feel dejected by being unable to do this. It can be frustrating to be in a completely opposite body to your previous one, unable to change it due to societal issues that you cannot control.
racial identity in systems is complicated as well. For the record, I, the host, am a white Australian of European descent, while I have alters who are Hispanic and African-American. This poses a complicated issue as some of these alters experience a desire to connect with their heritage, but feel that it may be disrespectful of "real" people to do so, due to being forced to live in a white body. My actions usually follow learning as much as I can about these races from the internet to allow these alters to feel a connection without speaking to anyone directly - which is a flawed way of doing it, but does not risk making anyone uncomfortable.
all in all, every alter who has ever existed has had a more stressful experience of identity than most singlets, and even their hosts. While most singlets don't have to present a specific way, or worry about existing wrong, alters invariably do. Throw some respect to any non-canon compliant, inter-racial or otherwise different alters you know. They probably deserve it.
do you ever notice that every character you've ever seen in media with DID has been a disgusting old man in a horror movie that assaults and kills people? You might not have, but we certainly have.
this assertion is honestly laughable. DID is written like psychopathy by directors who've never met a system.
The worst thing any of my alters have ever done is tell a teacher to 'fuck off'. None of my other alters' actions have come even close. That's a far cry from the DID you've seen in movies, isn't it?
the worst part isn't even the fact that this media exists. It's the fact that people (almost exclusively men) will fake-claim people with DID for not being like those movie villains.
One thing a real person said to me once was "I had a friend who had a DID girlfriend, one day she just turned around and stabbed him. If you had DID, you would be in jail". I still highly doubt that that 'friend' wasn't a fictional character, or just a pathological liar.
So, what are DID people like? While I can't talk for OSDD, since I don't know much about that area and don't know if the symptoms are different, I can tell you what being a DID system is really like.
first of all, you have to understand the basics. DID forms exclusively in people with extreme childhood trauma. When you look at a person with DID, you're looking at a person who was once a child and was forced - perhaps physically - to mature faster than all the other kids due to constant trauma at home.
If you've heard of the idea of systems having 'protectors' and 'caretakers', that is true. While not every system has outlined jobs that all of their members fall into, the majority have at least one protector, at least one caretaker, and a league of others that simply exist.
This leads directly into my next point: Alters are people. No matter what redditors will tell you about how you should be bullying people who have disorders that contain 'delusions' as part of their criteria, alters are real people. They have real, separate emotions to the host, and their own identity. I hate the smell of smoke, while some of my alters don't mind it or even like it. I am attracted to men, women and nonbinary people, while some of my alters are only attracted to one gender. Every alter is different.
my system has exclusively fictives. (A fictive is an alter whose source material is fictional, while a factive is an alter who forms from the identity of a real person.) It's perfectly fine to write DID characters with completely unique characters in their system that formed suddenly. Hell, one of my fictives didn't have a form they wanted to be seen as until they looked on google images and decided they wanted to be a dragon.
However, and this is only my opinion, I have always wanted to see media with a DID character who has fictives. Maybe the fictives are in-universe, they have an alter of your fictional universe's equivalent of Hatsune Miku or something, or a character from an in-universe tv show. I have always wanted to see media that normalises fictives.
Furthermore, while people with ADHD or autism are much more likely to develop DID, making a character with DID and autism, but not explaining that they have both, is not a good move.
And now, for the most dreaded part: WHAT MAKES THE EXPERIENCE OF HAVING DID SUCK! I've always said having DID in and of itself isn't the problem. It's everything else:
-the trauma. DID is actually a good thing in and of itself. It helps us survive (as long as we have a good relationship with our alters). It's the trauma that caused it that makes it bad.
-the fake-claiming. Honestly, I've had more trauma in recent years from getting fake-claimed than from almost anything else. I've lost friends because they decided I was "faking". (they googled DID and I didn't show every single symptom, they thought. We were online friends...) People are fucking stupid, and will stop and nothing to feel like the hero. I'd love to see media that highlights the primal rage and sadness that comes with being fake-claimed. I still lie awake at night having intrusive thoughts about the people who fake-claimed me. It hurts more than much else.
-the fake-claiming, part 2. Some people find out that some psychiatrists don't think DID is real, and go on a crusade to tell every system ever that "I can't believe you would just make up a disorder like that", or accuse us of being schizophrenics.
These are pretty much the two things that make life with DID harder than it needs to be. If we lived in a society of people who didn't find the need to white knight for their own ego all the time, it would be different. Nothing makes you realise that the majority of people are unbearable Karens than having DID. Everyone has to give their two cents on your disorder.
and now, THE ACTUAL OUTSIDE APPEARANCE!:
-when an alter fronts, it can sometimes be sudden. Sometimes someone will be talking to us and suddenly get "oh, uhh... I'm Nigel now. Anyway, keep going." It can be awkward, which is why many of us only show ourselves online, mostly on Discord, where bots like pluralkit can help us feel less awkward about our existence.
-cosplaying yourself. Many of my fictives have me buy clothes for them so that they can dress up as themselves. My Nigel alter had me buy a hair curler so he could recreate his natural hair, but we've all been too scared to use it.
-voices! Sometimes, when an alter fronts irl, they will go completely nonverbal, despite how verbose they may be online. Sometimes it's just too much dysphoria to be forced to speak using the AFAB host's voice, especially if the alter is male. This can be reversed too, where a female alter may feel uncomfortable in an AMAB host's body.
-and the dreaded R word... roleplay. Yes, yes, we all know, being a system looks like rp from the outside. We all get told it so much that a lot of systems take extreme offence from having their disorder compared to roleplay, and I don't blame them. But the fact also is, to develop DID, you HAVE to have an active imagination, because it forms from the child escaping into their headspace too much. Many people with DID do roleplay! They play D&D, they online rp. This doesn't make them any less of a system. BUT if you're writing a DID character, unless you have a person with DID to be your editor, you should avoid making them an rp-er, because this may come across as disingenuous or sysphobic. Think of it like how gay men are fully allowed to be flamboyant and feminine, but writing a gay character like that may be in bad taste.
-identity vs. personality. There's a reason DID is no longer called "split personality disorder", and it's because the difference between alters and hosts is more about identity than personality. My alters and I largely have the same worldview and morals, but we all present ourselves differently. I am hyperactive and funny (I hope), while some of my alters would prefer to present as mysterious, or graceful. Sometimes an alter can seem completely different from the host.
-memory loss. Sometimes when an alter stops fronting, I wake up with only vague memories of what happened. Also, long term memory loss. Almost all people with DID have more childhood amnesia than normal and can appear as very forgetful.
-and finally... the dissociation. Yes, DID does also come with dissociation. Sometimes it can be regular dissociation, feeling floaty and nonexistent, and sometimes it can come in the form of feeling dissociative about your own life. Sometimes your memories barely feel real, sometimes the people around you feel like they're only videogame constructs. Sometimes you look down at your hands and realise acutely that there's bones in there.
This is not by any means a comprehensive post, this is mostly just me rambling. Feel free to ask me to cover any more specific parts of having DID.
I see this a lot, no one has actual names, or any reference for names, that are legit Native American, varying among the tribes, for their characters.
Babynames.com and shit like that will give you names made up by white people.
However, I’ve got your solution.
Native-Languages is a good website to turn to for knowledge on a lot of native things, including native names. If you’re unsure about the names you’ve picked, they even have a list of made up names here!
Please don’t trust names like babynames.com for native names, they’re made up and often quite offensive to the cultures themselves.
What to give a fuck about,while writing your first draft!
I`ve posted a list about things you don´t need to give a fuck about while writing your first draft. Here are things you NEED TO CARE about! (in my opinion)
Your Authentic Voice: Don't let the fear of judgment or comparison stifle your unique voice. I know it´s hard,but try to write from your heart, and don't worry about perfection in the first draft. Let your authenticity shine through your words.
Your Story, Your Way: It's your narrative, your world, and your characters. Don't let external expectations or trends dictate how your story should unfold. Write the story you want to tell.
Progress Over Perfection: Your first draft is not the final product; it's the raw material for your masterpiece. Give a fuck about making progress, not achieving perfection. Embrace imperfections and understand that editing comes later.
Consistency and Routine: Discipline matters. Make a commitment to your writing routine and stick to it.
Feedback and Growth: While it's essential to protect your creative space during the first draft, be open to constructive feedback later on. Giving a f*ck about growth means you're willing to learn from others and improve your work.
Self-Compassion: Mistakes, writer's block, and self-doubt are all part of the process. Give a f*ck about being kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up if the words don't flow perfectly every time. Keep pushing forward and remember that writing is a journey.
Remember, the first draft is your canvas, your playground. Don't bog yourself down with unnecessary worries.
If your plot feels flat, STUDY it! Your story might be lacking...
Stakes - What would happen if the protagonist failed? Would it really be such a bad thing if it happened?
Thematic relevance - Do the events of the story speak to a greater emotional or moral message? Is the conflict resolved in a way that befits the theme?
Urgency - How much time does the protagonist have to complete their goal? Are there multiple factors complicating the situation?
Drive - What motivates the protagonist? Are they an active player in the story, or are they repeatedly getting pushed around by external forces? Could you swap them out for a different character with no impact on the plot? On the flip side, do the other characters have sensible motivations of their own?
Yield - Is there foreshadowing? Do the protagonist's choices have unforeseen consequences down the road? Do they use knowledge or clues from the beginning, to help them in the end? Do they learn things about the other characters that weren't immediately obvious?
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