my mango is to blow up

lesbian™ (any pronouns) | 25

[philcollinsenjoyer]

about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world

[flesh-w0rld]

I NEED TO BE HAVING LESBIAN SEX RIGHT NOW OHHHHH MY GOD!!! PLEASE!!!

[sorems-art]

Mii chanel pastel oil

[molabuddy]

do u ever just feel it happening

[leepacey]

saw hadestown last night. a bunch of people (sounded like almost everyone in the theater) gasped and several people yelled "NO!!!" when orpheus turned around. the stranger sitting beside me, after several seconds of shock, quietly said "no....." under her breath and sounded like she was in tears. after 2500+ years telling this story, we still always think maybe he's not gonna turn around this time

[puppyms]

seungmin's ig live, 250509 ⚾

[peachfromcmbyn]

Yeah sorry I can't come into work today. I accidentally heard Primadonna by Marina formerly of and the Diamonds. So I need the day to be a primadonna girl. Yeah it's going to be the whole day.

[deanwinchesterapologist]

finding a new doctor. applying for jobs. searching for apartments. messaging used car dealers. getting your health insurance to do their job. getting a pharmacy to do their job. getting the dmv to accept the documents they told you to bring. just listing things they probably make you do in hell

[subaru-copilot]

looks inside procrastination -> it's anxiety -> looks inside anxiety -> it's fear -> looks inside fear -> it's shame

[teaboot]

Surely these circumstances will improve with additional shame

[charl0ttan]

for my next monkey paw i want to jerk off with the monkey paw

[charl0ttan]

[undying-princess]

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

[liittlecreatures1985]

out and about and my phone is at 15% battery: better not use it so it doesn’t die on me

5 minutes later: googling average gas mileage in 1950

[borderlands-disorder]

[pitchburgh]

i wish you could laugh react eBay listings. that's not worth $250. you fucking asshole. lmao

[pitchburgh]

you should also be able to do this to job listings

[pearlpoet]

wikipedia Tell me about this man's personal life

[gaybd1]

wikipedia Tell me if this man’s gay

[girlrustcohle]

i love being single except every few months when i want to be loved so bad that it eats me alive and makes me physically ill for two weeks but like the rest of the time im chill

[oliviawhen]

Job hunting in a hostile environment. ✨