Sam just chuckled and shook his head, expecting that kind of reaction from Sofia. There weren’t many people he’d be comfortable doing this memory-diving with–even with his sisters he’d protest until, of course, they wore him down and he had to do it anyway. But it wasn’t like that with Sofia, she was safe, somehow.
“Okay, here we go,” Sam said, holding onto the handle as the two of them leaned over the mirror and looked in. The scene around them of the sidewalk and the festival seemed to shimmer and fade, until a new location took its place. Sam’s mother’s house, his childhood home. Sam looked around, trying to gauge the year or timeframe at least by the ages of his sisters. He spotted his younger sister, a teenager and being told to go upstairs and go to bed by their mother. The tone was one Sam recognized, the kind that booked no argument because something important was going on.
Everything happened around them as if Sam and Sofia weren’t there. They were just observers in this memory. Sam was still trying to place which memory it was, until he saw himself as a teenager lurking around the corner, listening in on the argument his parents were having.
Sam knew what night this was. He was seventeen, it was almost his birthday, and this was the night his father disappeared.
As reality faded out and the familiar house faded in, Sofia stood by Sam. Her hand held his over the top of his wrist gently. This was something to ground her — of course the environment was familiar but she never quite imagined her would see it like this. Her cousin watched his sister ascend the stairs and it was then that she spotted the younger version of the man beside her tip-toeing to plant himself in the perfect place to remain incognito. Sofia nudged Sam then, quietly pointing quickly at his form. She looked to him with a smile for his mischievous ways.
For her part, Sofia had no idea this night would be anything to remark. At first she couldn’t figure out what was so significant about it in particular. Just as she had begun to assume the mirror worthless she turned back into the conversation between her Aunt and Uncle.
“Are there people who feel good about these kinds of talks? People who like talking about their emotions? Being vulnerable,” Sofia finally reached the summary of what she was trying to say and even in her wavy almost-stupor the word came out with a tinge of disgust. “I think everyone kind of sucks about themselves.” She used Iann’s words because they were the best description, casual tone contributing to just what she felt.
“I think they call it ‘ghosting’ now,” Sofia commented quietly. She reached to stack up the nearly empty pizza boxes. Idle hands never suited her for too long. When Iann stopped talking the witch looked up to catch his inquisitive gaze. She had to wonder what was going through his mind or if she was going to like whatever rolled off his tongue next. “Uhm..” she started having to think about that. What a question. “It would be naive to say no. Too wishful, probably. For the most part I do tend to let others do the leaving, I guess.” Sofia was loyal to a fault and she liked it that way. Pain or strife felt better when you didn’t have to carry its burden completely — when you could write it off to a choice you didn’t necessarily make. “Aden..” she said the name somberly and let it hang in the air. “That counts. She counts. I mean, it was awful. I loved her. I never wanted her to leave. I know it was because of me. — But Juliet. I couldn’t ignore all that resurfaced when she showed up. To me, our relationship is worth a casualty or two.” Sofia stood to join Iann. She leaned over the railing looking down, getting a bit dizzy and then finding her friend as a focal point. “Is that horrible?” she asked in earnest.
While Sofia and Iann could joke up a storm of innuendo, there was more than attraction between them. Sofia had no desire to be with Iann in a biblical sense. And yet her crush on him grew moment by moment. Intellectually, spiritually, a certain intimacy that extended beyond friendship but was not romantic, she coveted him. Iann fascinated and intrigued her. She sometimes thought about kissing him (and then some) for the science of what it would be like — simply because this was Sofia’s favorite way to convey affection for another person. In this instance it would be something less than an act of foreplay. And how long had it been since she’d kissed anyone of the opposite gender on the lips in such a way? Since she was 11, she decided as her mind wandered. A kiss couldn’t be much more than a quick peck or mushy fumbling at that age, anyway. As for men, that was the last of Sofia’s desires to try anything with them until Iann — which she knew was all pure fantasy. One she was likely to keep to herself for the rest of ever.
“Rose is a piece of work..yeah.” Sofia answered with something between a laugh and a scoff. Thoughts of their cordial quarrels pulled her out of her dreaming state. “My sisters have beat those jokes into the ground,” the brunette shook her head and then turned back to grab her wine glass. “I think it’s more a species thing or the fact that I’m very soft where she is icy — Rose, not Jules. She also knows I resent her for leaving Juliet after turning her.” That was really it, and the first reason was less of a cause and more of a projection Sofia often clung to once she discerned the differences between she and Rose. “It’s an odd story — how Juliet was babied by her grandsire. And god, I love Elenora. Just goes to show you all families have their shit. They pick up for one another, if you’re lucky. Even undead ones.”
“Right,” Sofia agreed with great appreciation. As he often did, Iann clarified her point so nicely. Expanding upon the same idea and adding something to grow on. This was why she loved him so. Her thoughts flitted from him to Juliet, to Melissa and then bounced accordingly. Her brain was active but calm. Night was closing in around them and for whatever reason that was a comfort in itself. “It’s hard for us,” she spoke meaning ‘women’. “To not feel selfish in wanting anything — to not feel as though we are being painted as some sort of emotionally manipulative shrew when we ask for things.” The witch took in a big breath and let out a large and casual sigh in response to Iann’s.
“Why do you say that?” Sofia giggled a bit through the question. She really wasn’t fishing. The statement seemed out of the blue to her. Her advice wasn’t given in expectation of praise or expectation of anything. She really just loved to talk, and loved to talk to Iann. “Nevermind,” she held up her hand. “Don’t answer that.” More than 40 years on Earth and she still hadn’t trained herself to take a compliment as openly as she gave them.
Shivonne, hummed, coughing out a little too, trying to think. “I’m pretty sure I just asked some guy to give them to me. I mean, that sounds like something I would do anyway” she said, laughing, but even her laugh was beginning to slur. “I don’t normally get this drunk, but the opportunity presented itself and I couldn’t resist. Honestly, I don’t get drunk at all hardly-” she paused to hiccup, “-ever”
At the offer of being taken home, Shivonne drunken heart flutter at the kindness, and she pulled a face somewhat a mixture of a smile and a frown, “Aw, thank you. I really need that, I really need that. Otherwise, I might just sleep on this bench”. Shivonne looked down at the cigarette in her hands, and then stubbed it out on the picnic table and put the stub back in the box. “Because you’re-you’re-you’re being such a good friend, imma just not smoke these,” she said, feeling like it was the kindest thing a person could ever do in their entire lives.
Furrowing her eyebrows, she nodded lightly, “He’s so cute. I just can’t believe I made that thing sometimes. He’s a pain in my ass, but he’s the only good thing I have.” It was the honest truth, too. Shivonne never envisioned having children, it was never part of her plan. Even in the early days, she felt like she’d made a huge mistake, but once the exhaustion and stress of motherhood became the norm, she could barely remember what it was like not having Noel. “Both, all of the beings. He talks about them all like there’s nothing weird about it. But, I guess there isn’t anything weird about it. He’s going to be a goddam werewolf when he’s older. How am I supposed to know what to do?”
Sofia gave Von a look that could only be described as the look. Something both knowing and curious. Not exactly judgmental and not exactly amused either. “Alright,” she said on a sigh, figuring it best to just drop the topic of the cigarettes entirely. “Listen, we all have those days when we just need to take an opportunity for ourselves.” Whatever that meant, Sofia respected it. “You okay?” she asked when the redhead hiccuped. Honestly, Sofia was worried she might vomit. If only she had some of her hangover-preventative tonic with her. It had been her best seller when she loved in NOLA and how she’d really began to make a name for herself among the brewing community. It wouldn’t have taken away Shivonne’s fun and then she wouldn’t have to worry about the less favorable side effects of drinking.
“Who’s watching Noel?” Sofia asked, not wanting to pry. She wondered only wondered because was considering taking Von to her place first and fixing some of that tonic and maybe a few other things too. She couldn’t help but chuckle at the other woman’s declaration. “That really means a lot to me,” she said when she was done. The witch had stifled her laugh as much as she could.
Sofia’s smirky grin grew into a purely sentimental expression. Drunk or not she loved listening to mothers talk about their kids. Women, mothers or not, were so amazing to her. Raising a child was such a beautiful responsibility. Sofia thought about all these things a lot and had for more than half a decade now. “It’s different when you start young. Like anything else. It just *is* what the world is? Ya know?” Sofia talked to distract Von from thinking too much as she helped her too her feet. If she didn’t focus on it maybe she wouldn’t notice her level of inebriation. Sofia assumed it to be pretty great.
As for her question, Sofia was quiet for a minute. “I don’t know. I really don’t.” She’d helped to raise her younger sister Fiona before Sofia herself left home for what she assumed would be for good at 20. “I think you just figure out as you go and never get too attached to any one plan. As long as you love them and do right by them —, they’ll know.” By now the Professor was helping her coworker into the front seat of her black sedan.
“You found Gwen attractive?” Iann couldn’t help but grin slightly, like a kid who’s parents told him that after a trial separation they decided to get back together. Basically, that hope for an ideal that rarely if ever actually came true. For all of Iann’s angry cynicism, he still retained certain wonder, in certain people. Like the woman sitting here now, small and cross-legged on his swinging bench.
Sofia clarifying her idea of jealousy was all completely new to Iann, and he listened, intrigued. A few years back, he probably would have dismissed any of this conversation, gotten bored. Emotions ascribed to others, nothing to do with him. Borderline-uncomfortable at the thought of actually having to deal with and be accountable for the the feelings of other people. But now, of course, everything had changed. Melissa changed everything, but Sumner had too. Iann always had acquaintances, a mish-mash of people who he could refer to and pester and sometimes even rely on. But he never had this: a living, breathing network. In truth, it was all his Gemini heart wanted, even as it rejected the notion at the same time.
So now, Iann rolled over all of Sofia’s words, taking it seriously and contextualizing it with Melissa’s words in their argument. ‘Her needing more somehow meant that I wasn’t enough’ stuck out to him, even though Sofia refuted it after and even justified Juliet’s actions. Iann could appreciate that, Sofia’s ability to not just see multiple facets, but to accept them. Seeing was one thing; accepting took a lot more strength and confidence. The second point Sofia made: ‘I wanted to be right.’
Keep reading
Planted on the wooden bench, Sofia felt right at home. The night air was becoming brisker with each brush of the breeze. She pulled a slice of pizza from the box and piled vegetables that had tried to escape back on top before folding up the sides to take a bite. Her belly was getting full and her mind was occupied but peaceful. She swallowed a second bite and in that tasty content meant realized Sumner finally felt like home. Maybe more so than ever before. Sitting here with someone who cared to hear her out. Iann trusted her with being invested in perhaps the most precious dynamic a person could foster. No matter how floaty she felt or how the ebb and flow of her thoughts was working — this notion would sit comfortably in the background for the rest of the evening and on to tomorrow morning.
“That’s a real skill, you know,” Sofia commented on Melissa. The more she learned about her from Iann here and now the more she wanted to know. The witch felt as though she had found her people now. There was nothing quite like it.
“You mean you don’t love “‘So, like, what are we?’ texts?” Sofia mimicked a vapid voice she didn’t know. It was odd to try and imagine the Iann she knew acting cruel. She could imagine him being harsh and blunt and hard to deal with. For as much as he protected Melissa now, she had a feeling he was equally hard on himself behind closed doors when nobody could see. Less of an important thought was how Iann could go years without sex? That sounded like utter hell to her. While Sofia was bad with complete disconnect, she was incredibly skilled with keeping what relationships she wanted light and fun until it was time to part ways. Moving states made it easier, too.
Sofia uncrossed her legs and sat properly on the bench. Her head tilted, lazily where she smiled at him. Stretching out her neck from a long day hunched over their work, she had to sigh quietly. Even with all their closeness, it was odd to feel so happy under Iann’s (or anyone’s) gaze from above. She’d spent so much of her life hiding herself in all ways, big and small. To let someone see her so completely with no efforts to shield herself, whether they be real or imagined, was something to get used to.
“What?” Sofia asked when prompted. Her expression was relaxed, so relaxed and still wry somehow. Iann was someone who could surprise her. Now she found she would hope for it. “I don’t know Cardero, were you not trying to convince me to peg you earlier. Somethin’ like that?” Sofia pulled her bun down and the put it back up again, making it only minimally neater. “Hey as long as you’re still ending feeling vaguely like you might have a heart attack, I wouldn’t worry.” She didn’t mean it purely from exertion either, but it the metaphorical sense. She didn’t think to explain that far.
“Star-crossed… Yee—eep” Sofia responded animatedly. She understood immediately. Their minds had reached the same place, even if Iann had a more poetic way of wording it now. She’d had that thought more than a time or two. Often she laughed bitterly at it. “I like to think I’m a lot smarter than any Romeo, I’ll be honest.” The witch reached for the bong again and took the very last hit left in the bowl. “And well, her sire does hate me.” She half-chuckled. It was amusing how hard Rose tried to oust her from Juliet’s life. The were completely opposing personalities despite any efforts — all of which Sofia felt were solely hers.
“That’s a shame.” Finally Sofia had lost her filter completely. “She’s a person who deserves more than a simple decision made on their behalf.” Sometimes things really could be that simple. It was a gesture like anything else. “That’s such a big part of what love is — at least to me. Consideration.”
“You guys aren’t really alike,” Iann blurted, but then amended, with an oddly self-conscious laugh. It looked strange on Iann, for him to second-guess of himself, so wishy-washy. But with Sofia, Iann didn’t mind letting himself relax considerably. And of course, the pot helped immensely. He kept talking, “No - well. What I mean is that - smart and gorgeous and snarky - yes so much, hah. But of course you are two completely separate and unique people, ah. I guess…I guess it’s just me, my brain. It’s - you know. Talking with you makes me remember what it was like to talk with Gwen, and I miss her…” Iann mumbled this into his chest, occupying himself by flicking at the stem of his wine-glass idly.
He looked up. “But I have you. And everything is all about me, after all, right?” Iann said with a cocky brightness that didn’t quite diminish the vulnerability in his eyes when he gazed at Sofia. She turned the topic so gracefully to alcohol and Iann recalled her drink of choice at that bar, when they’d had one particularly tense but ultimately rewarding talk. Sofia had been so cautious, so private and so discerning. She still was, but it was different now. An open cautious, an intimate private. A discerning that made Iann feel special to be included.
Iann would have taken whatever Sofia had to say in response, but the truth was he hadn’t expected her to…actually give him a response. A meaty one that Iann could sink his teeth into and chew and ruminate. He was, quite frankly, shocked. It wasn’t that Iann wanted to be opaque or mysterious to people, but he had his own way of keeping himself guarded. Maybe it was that, combined with Sofia’s age, that allowed her to just…grasp the scope of what he was trying to say, without misunderstanding or dismissal. And christ almighty, was he glad she was comfortable enough with him to take the time and share.
If anything, this was a glimpse of normal - not the boring tedious normal that Iann discarded and loathed - but that normal that Iann had intrinsically craved, a type of normal that was about scenes like this: two pals, pizza, pot, and talk. That was it. Anyone’s scene.
“I know.” Sofia would be the first one to admit that she and Gwen were not two of a kind. “That’s what made her so sexy.” Sofia was intent on believing she could have had something good with Gwen if she were still around. She liked the thought of it, maybe more than what reality would have delivered. Sofia had been always dreamy like that. “I miss her too. I hope she comes back around.”
The corners of Sofia’s mouth turned up when Iann said he had her, repeating her words from earlier that she figured he had missed for what she meant. “Yes,” she nodded. “You have me. Even when I’m being a weirdo and running away. As for the other thing,…maybe…— it is when I want it to be,” she teased him to let the vulnerability of the moment dissipate some.
When Iann looked to her with seemingly bated breath, clearly here in the moment but not quite following she elaborated. “People always say jealousy grows from distrust in your partner. I’m just saying I don’t think that’s always true. I never felt like I was being lied to. I never felt unloved. I felt the other things: the judgements you make on yourself that sit with you. Her needing more somehow meant that I wasn’t enough. — But that’s not it. I get that now, that you can love two people, be in love with them completely and keep it separate. And she wasn’t even doing that. She was mostly fucking as a perk of feeding. I was being a baby. I was being jealous and selfish and not looking at the picture from other available angles. Probably because I didn’t want to. I wanted to be right.”
“Noo...of course you can’t ignore it. Don’t use it to discount her, though. Emotions like these aren’t from lack of age or even experience — but openness and varying ideas about security.” Sofia had been on both sides of the age difference fence at this point in her 40-some years. It made her understand Juliet’s old complaints all the better.
Sofia never placed importance on age which was how she found little problem in seeing her much younger TA, Orla for more than just Academy business. “Yeah, see, I don’t get that.” Sofia couldn’t disconnect fucking from the person. From the caring. The fact that Juliet was supposed to be a one night stand and they ended up living like a married couple really was the best example of that. “I do think it would be nice sometimes. Then I would be getting laid a lot more often.”
“No. It doesn’t.” The witch had to say this with conviction. What sounded cheesy to Iann sounded perfect to her. “Exactly. That’s when you can do it 1000 times in one day but never get bored.” Sofia smiled over at Iann leaning into the rocking motion. It made her think of smoking that blunt with Ruby the weeks back. The woman had been a stranger on the beach. But Sofia liked watching the waves with her. “I don’t know,” she shrugged again. “I’m just talking. I don’t even know if any of this is helpful. I don’t know Melissa as well as I know you,” she spoke as a flat out fact. She realized too, that what she’d said had given her away somehow. Iann could now be certain he had a little piece of her heart with the way she talked to him — though for Mel’s sake she knew to dial it back now. It would be a task, certainly.
Sofia swirled her wine in her glass. It was still half full. She had lost the headiness of her high and was enjoying the looseness of her limbs and the light that seemed to illuminate her mind. “I was. Always.” Sofia’s answer wasn’t intentionally short. “It was my own choice. A misinformed one. I ended up resenting her for it, I think. — When we took our breaks before I pretended it would feel liberating to be with other people. “But that sliver of truth — for people like us, it takes a long soak to dislodge. Not saying that Melissa and I are the same or that you should expect her to change though.”
“It’s strong,” Iann said first, happy to give feedback. He had inhaled before speaking, and wasn’t able to hold it in long before expelling. “But it smells better than the usual shit, I’ll give you that. More floral and less, ah, pungent. Maybe it’s just strong to me because I haven’t done any in a while though. Mmm. A while though. Ahw ileth oh…” Iann laughed to himself, amused by his own high word-disassembly.
And yet it took Iann a moment before he grabbed onto Sofia’s innuendo. Did she actually say what he thought she’d said? Was that a terrible, lowbrow joke? From her?! He stared at her incredulously for a moment before bursting into laughter. “Fuck off, Gwen!” Iann yelled happily, before he caught himself, realized he’d messed up. Iann blinked rapidly for a moment and then guffawed, smacking his forehead and rolling his eyes. “Prof. I mean. Sof. Sofia. Ayyyy dios this is hitting me fucking harder than I thought it would. I’m like a teenager sucking down my first fucking peach cooler.”
Iann nodded, happy to be chided by her about his choice of plant-person. There were a few people who Iann allowed to reprimand him: Melissa of course. And Sofia, and Otto Leitner. Maybe a couple others, but them first and foremost. He trusted them with knowing him, knowing they weren’t out to ridicule him. Well, perhaps Otto was sometimes, but Iann could handle that. “Okay okay. Floros resources only. You two do have the best know-how and products in town, I can tell my customers that honestly now, having tried everyone else. See? I just spun it for the better for us all.”
He paused and looked over at Sofia when she cracked her little joke about female folk singers, and Iann didn’t say anything for a moment. He finished up his slice, washing it down with some wine. “Melissa and I had an argument the other day,” he said suddenly. “Nothing bad, I mean. Nothing we do is bad. But she’s…she -” Iann tried to think of how to explain it without sounding negative, like he was complaining. So he turned it on himself. “She told me it made her uncomfortable, how much I flirt with other people. Which is true, I mean - I do. I just flirt by habit, because it’s fun and it gets me things I want, but. It distresses her, so. I told her I’d try and put a stop to it.”
Iann realized that while he was rambling, he hadn’t explained how he’d jumped from Sofia’s off-the-cuff light-heartedness to a topic considerably more serious. “Sometimes I think it might be good for her to flirt a little too, hm? Just harmless stuff. With someone she trusts…but.” Iann tipped his head and shrugged. “On the other hand, maybe I’m just thinking selfishly again.”
He listened to Sofia talk about Juliet, knowing full-well that whatever their situation was, it was long and deep and Iann barely really knew anything about them. What they were like, what their history was, how it was all playing out. He was curious now ; in fact, he was more curious now that he would have been if Juliet and Sofia were still together in Sumner. “What was it? What was she trying to explain to you, Prof?”
Sofia had to put down her glass — well, she didn’t really. Her brain was telling her holding her glass and chuckling at Iann with her face resting in her other freehand was a little too much. It didn’t make any sense. “Gwen?” she questioned. The name sounded huge and was peppered with happy shock. “Gwennnn,” she said again, this time with a large dose of affection and something akin to sadness but not quite injected into it. “Gwen’s just…” Sofia sighed wistfully as if that said it all. The psychic was a big question mark in Sofia’s mind in so many ways and she thought about her a lot. “Hey, listen. Whatever. I’ll take it. Smart, gorgeous, snarky, and knows what’s up? Totally flattered.” She looked up to make her words more clear with her gesticulations.
“Peach coolers! Ahhh. Those were what was up. Those were my fucking fave — until I manned up and found my true love. Tequila. — Wouldn’t mix very well with this bud though. I have another one for that.” It was sweet how Iann responded to her worry. He able to placate it so simply when he had no requirement whatsoever to do so. Even if he didn’t keep his word — they were on their way to pretty fucked up, after all — Sofia would remember this particular instance in the night fondly. An odd one to cherry pick, and important to her nonetheless. “I swear you can spin anything. I think that’s why we get along.” Sofia could do the same, but she often chose not to. That, and her methods and motivations for retelling were usually not exactly aligned.
When the silence between she an Iann seemed to rest for too long Sofia lightly began to backtrack from her joke. Her stuttering was soft like tiny coughs and her brow scrunched slightly with worry. Of course she knew Iann well enough to know how evolved he was and that no sexuality could be used as an insult. Maybe she had taken it too far though, when she brought Melissa into it. “Iann..I..” But he started speaking over her and she was grateful for that. So damn grateful.
The witch was silent now. She could have added prompting questions in between and with someone else she might have. She and Iann seemed to have an understanding though that all they would share was everything they wanted to in that moment. This had developed over time, blossoming into something Sofia appreciated so much she couldn’t put it into words. They were both the sort of people to get sidetracked when a conversation got too close to the heart. Letting each other talk until they were done was the best way to prove attentiveness and loyalty to the other’s struggle or sharing.
“We used to have that fight. Me and Juliet.” This wasn’t about her though. Making it that way was a stupid thing people did to try and be comforting but it never really worked for anything other than a distraction from the problem. So instead, she asked with a clear and blunt tone: “Do you think jealousy and trust are always connected when talking about a romantic relationship? Because I don’t.” Sofia was very jealous — oftentimes misguided in her jealousies too. That never made anything easier when she realized it in the end. Somehow when it came to Juliet she had never doubted her love or her trust for her.
In terms of Iann and Melissa, Sofia was wholly aware she was likely part of the flirting problem. She made a note of it and continued without saying so. The Professor didn’t take anything Iann said as rambling — it didn’t seem discombobulated or useless at all. She loved to listen to him and knew that she was one of the few lucky ones chosen to be an ear when it came to important and sensitive matters. That wasn’t anything to make light of. “I think a little bit, you are,” she said softly of him being selfish. “But I don’t disagree. You already know all this — if she’s not comfortable with it, if that’s not something she wants then of course it’s not going to feel good. There’s no thrill or — like, whatever.” Words were starting to fail her more as her brain turned in on itself with every deeper breathe she took. “Everyone’s — no, every relationship is different and I don’t think it’s good to box yourself in in terms of rules of attraction, affection or even sex. Hell, Juliet was screwing others for most of the years we were together and it still was everything I wanted most of the time. I just couldn’t see it. Because jealousy is a hell-beast that is really very hard to put down.”
“Because we had the open thing going — she would always try to explain it to me: that she didn’t love the others like she loved me. They didn’t mean the same thing. I was different. I was more…?” Sofia’s voice laced with confusion as her mind flashed back to combine various arguments in an attempt to make some kind of case. The skepticism she used to exhibit had vanished, though it was unlikely Iann would know. “And I always used to think that was some kind of infantilizing bullshit, right?” Words like those had felt so cliche from someone smart and cultured as her vampire girlfriend. ‘Couldn’t she try harder for me?’ was a thought Sofia swatted at often. A horrible attempt at trying to make different and less rotten apples fall. Her jealousy and close-mindedness had left them all poison until now. “I don’t know. Do you think you can take someone to bed and feel nothing for them whatsoever? — Because for me, that’s not a thing. Even just flirting. Like every joke, there’s gotta be some truth behind it? You know?”
Somehow Sofia circled back around to Melissa and Iann. “So even though Melissa is different and special, and — let’s be real, the cutest ever, it might be that tiny sliver of truth that bothers her.”
“Christ almighty, it’s been…so long,” Iann said, when he brought out the pizza as well as a couple wine glasses and some red wine. He figured they might as well make an evening out of it, but Iann plonked down next to Sofia on the singing bench again, nestling his thigh under her bent knee as he took the bong from her. He was excited to try it, see what it felt like after all this time. Plus, of course, Iann anticipated that this wouldn’t be normal pot. Grown by a witch, Iann figured it had to be special.
He lit and inhaled, and despite how surprisingly smooth it was, Iann still coughed once, then grinned, trying to hold the rest of the smoke in. “Jesus,” he said, then after a few seconds, released it all in a rush. “I’m a newb all over again.”
Iann handed it back, slumping a bit and sprawling his legs out in front of him, using his toe to push the swing gently back and forth. “Look, I like doing everything the hard way!” Iann protested, in an easy joking way. “Autobahn’s a dick but I can handle him. Besides,” Iann looked over at Sofia with his eyebrow raised, “You were gone for a while, hm? Not trying to make you feel bad, but you know, you left me in a lurch, I cried for days, no big deal.”
Iann was ready for a second go, and this time it was much easier. He held the smoke in, sighing it out before grabbing for some pizza. “Sam Floros is a smartass and crabby and too clever for his own good. I like him. I don’t know why I never realized you two were related. You’re just….you. And he’s him. I don’t know,” Iann laughed, feeling himself relax a bit more, his brain feeling like a gentle blanket pressing down on it.
“Melissa’s got a great voice. And she writes her own songs. They’re all about me,” Iann boasted, something he wouldn’t have done if he wasn’t high, or if it wasn’t Sofia. “She has a voice like a folk singer, hm? Like…like Judy Collins.”
Pouring them a couple glasses of wine, Iann handed one over to Sofia. “Do you miss her? Juliet?” he asked, with a bluntness that was even more direct than his usual way.
When Iann took the bong Sofia was free to lean the opposite way where he’d set down the half-uncorked bottle and the wine glasses. She poured a healthy amount of the burgundy liquid for each of them. All the while she watched Iann from the corner of her eye, curious as to how he would do. Sofia had mastered different strains of her own breeding more than two decades ago. Now what she grew alongside those classic blends was something kids today might call “designer”, though to Sofia it wasn’t an effort to be outrageous, or even the best. She liked to experiment. Weed in the name of science — and boredom crept in there too sometimes.
“Tell me if you like this stuff. I’m still..uhm..adjusting. Cultivating. Whatever you want to call it, that’s what I’m doing.” She took a drink from the wine glass. The glass ticked against the table as she set it down and then she took the bong back. Suddenly smoke puffed out of Sofia in an ungraceful and entirely untimely fashion. She couldn’t hold back her stunted laugh. “You handle a lot of those?” It was so stupid and yet, she couldn’t stop herself. Sofia didn’t change much when she was high. She lost her filter in varying degrees was all. The first one was already gone — it censored those horrible innuendoes the Scorpio in her often conjured out of thin air.
One would think it would be difficult to pout and chew a bite of hot pizza in tandem. It would appear that Professor Floros was an expert. “You already said you basically didn’t notice.” She rolled her eyes before the words came out, having to wait to swallow to say them. “Juliet’s right to be annoyed by you. You are annoying. — But forreal.” She touched his leg emphatically “Iann, I would feel a lot better if you went to me or to Sam instead.” Sofia took another hit — smaller this time. She didn’t need Iann sneaking up on her again with his stupid words and talking.
“Folk. I love folk. She’s pretty like a folk singer too.” Sofia got a twinkle in her eye then. She peered at Iann from the side, little smirk appearing and taking over her face before she added, “But aren’t all the best female ones gay?” Her laugh was quiet then. Short and sweet. Like a happy whisper.
Grateful for the refill, Sofia took the glass. “This ..the notes in it..are very good.” Sofia tilted the glassware around in such a way that it risked spilling the drink inside it in trying to make her point. — What was it again? She took a heavy breath at Juliet’s name. For once, Sofia thought of lying to Iann and she was very aware of how uncharacteristic those thoughts were when it came to him. It was weird, and nasty and she didn’t like it. Many seconds passed before she lifted one shoulder in a shrug and said: “Yes. I really really do.” Sofia licked her lips and looked at her lap for a second. Her cloudy hazel gaze went back to Iann’s eyes. “There was a time when I never wanted her to come here — to see where I’m from or have to deal with my mother. And now I can’t believe she left. It’s not like I regret not trying to stop her or anything. That’s not my place I don’t think. But it’s heavy without her. Worst of all, now I see what she was trying to explain to me for so long.”
Her eyes narrowed, cringing at the sound of hearing her name, Vada. No one has said it in years and finally she could be someone else. But Sofia’s recognition of her has ruined it. She does remember her, she remembers everyone she grew up with or who watched over her, but she didn’t want to remember. She spent the last two years attempting to block everything out that made her Vada, and instead became Mickey.
“I know who you are.” She wanted to protect Sofia from what she had become, but she had no idea how. She clenched her fists and let out, “But I’m not your precious Vada. She’s gone.”
Whatever Vada’s minor outburst meant, Sofia was inclined to accept and respect it. That didn’t mean she didn’t want the story behind it, but maybe the festival wasn’t the ideal place for that. “Okay,” she eased off a bit. Her happy enthusiasm was replaced with a somber sort of confusion.
“Well then, will you come somewhere and have lunch with me so we can talk?” At this point Sofia didn’t really know what else she could do. She felt so badly about making Vada uncomfortable. But then, how could she have known her keen senses and friendliness would lead to this?
Sam couldn’t help but smirk in amusement when Sofia grabbed the mirror to inspect it for herself. He could actually see the moment when she put her invisible Professor’s Hat on. “There’s only one way to find out if it’s legit,” he chuckled. “But I glanced in it quickly before, and I saw myself and my sisters when we were younger.”
He took another sip of his iced coffee while she looked it over and asked all her questions. “It didn’t come with instructions, but the guy said whoever’s holding it gets their memory,” he said with a shrug. When she said she was nervous about what her own memory might show, Sam took the mirror back.
“I’ll hold it, you just get to come along with me,” he said. While he wasn’t sure what memory would show, he was glad it was Sofia that was coming with him. Maybe it would shed some light on what happened to his father–or maybe it would just be a boring old memory. Keeping his hand wrapped around the handle, he put the mirror in the middle of the table for them. “You ready?”
Her cousin was one of the only people left in Sumner who knew Sofia long enough to know she was the last person to ever picture herself teaching at the Academy. The sometimes too-reserved witch fell into the role pretty naturally it seemed. It was in her both to seek knowledge and to give all she could to others.
“One way,” she parroted back at him with teasingly narrow eyes. She was tempted to put the mirror down. She didn’t. “If that’s any indication..” Sofia spoke more seriously now. “Oh..okay..” and then Sofia didn’t hesitate when Sam reached for his purchase. Her fingers unwrapped from the stem and she went back to the safety of her large coffee.
“Yes, Sam. I would like to come with you. Thanks for asking.” She enunciated every word to get her desired mocking cadence. It was all for show. They both knew that neither would get left behind regardless of what ill advised thing they might be doing.
Standing, Sofia moved around the iron table and placed her hands on Sam’s shoulders. Now she could see his sisters and a few other very familiar faces, too. “Ready,” she replied confidently.
“Springtime, wintertime, summertime, nighttime: anything you can tack time on the end of, I love. It rolls off the tongue so nicely. No matter what you’re discussing it already has a beautiful nostalgic, almost romantic feel around it. Plus, I like to think about time. About how important it is, and then about its near conceptual irrelevance, too.”
”Try to get out the door after at least two cups of coffee and two hours before my first class, looking put together and well rested. Notice – I said try. The wholehearted attempt is unfortunately the main reference to any sort of pattern.”
Has there ever been a time where your magic has let you down? How did you adjust afterwards to compensate?
“If by time you mean ‘a span of 15 or more years’. Maybe 10. I didn’t start realizing I was behind until I was about 5. How did I adjust? I worked my little ass off practicing. Ate a lot of pie a la mode. Realized maybe I should be practicing in avenues different from my sisters. Cried a lot, was incredibly bitter, and eventually stopped trying to be like everyone else. That’s a useless pursuit whether you’ve got famous witch blood or not. Anyway..life’s long, luckily.”
