welcome to my main multifandom masterlist !!! all of my fics are listed below
impalastiel on ao3 - find my dashboard here
i mainly write for supernatural and will take requests at my discretion.
I DO NOT WRITE: anything sexual at all. i prefer to only write fluff or emotional angst. i only do romance if it is slow burn, and it has to be purposeful. no smut here. and i usually do not read it or interact with fics that contain it.
currently trying to build my body of work on tumblr. please like and share if you enjoy any of my fics!
WINCESTIES DNI
SERIES MASTERLIST BELOW
supernatural
What Not To Do - IN PROGRESS - when jas loses everything in one night, fate brings her a savior who, despite everything, makes her feel safe. but a life with the winchesters is certainly not all roses. the real question is... can the hunters be the family this teenager needs, or is she better off on her own?
Unfinished Business - COMPLETE - when dean lost the only girl he ever let himself love, he thought the most painful part of the process was over. but when he finds out that she has unfinished business, he is unsure if she will ever be able to move on. because it would mean that dean has to move on, too.
Ghosts of Our Past, Pt. 1 - COMPLETE - caroline jacobs - the girl no one believed. but she just wants peace. she wants to hide away the skeletons in her closet once and for all, and never open them back up again. it's her only chance at a normal life, at finally getting somewhere. but a random encounter at the library might just change it all for her. she's just not sure she wants it all to change. it's only when you start digging up roots that you realize just how deep they reach.
Ghosts of Our Past, Pt. 2 - COMPLETE - caroline jacobs hasn't seen sam in three years, not since they worked together to solve the case of her mother's murder. she thinks about him every day, as the person who changed everything for her. now, when sam walks back into her life, she's got some learning to do about just how much a person can change in three years.
ONE-SHOT MASTERLIST
supernatural
Sacrifice - sam and dean have a much needed conversation about dean's time as a demon.
Porch Light - there's just something in dean's bones that is always waiting for sam to come back. two different porch lights teach him about their relationship.
The Great Divide - sam and dean are on two different paths in life. they haven't seen each other in years. but one car ride gets them thinking about their time hunting together... and neither of them are sure if that's a good thing.
It's Not Halloween - sam doesn't want to reach out to his big brother over the holidays, because he feels that he has something to prove. that he's moved on. however, not everyone feels the same way.
One New Message - sam and dean finally discuss The Voicemail after it has tormented sam for years.
marvel
December Sixteenth - in the end, he never could have dreamed that he would have spent time with morgan stark that day, but maybe... maybe it was exactly what he'd needed.
His MJ - peter actually gives mj the note, post no way home.
The Shot He Didn't Take - clint doesn't want to kill natasha, but she makes saving her life quite difficult. clearly, it's the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Stories We Tell - post loki finale !! when the god of stories gets a visitor, his very first visitor, both parties get a surprising reaction. she wants to be erased from the multiverse, and he isn't convinced that her story isn't worth telling.
gilmore girls
Man Cold - luke is sick, and doesn't want to admit it until lorelai forces him to slow down for a minute. it's finally her chance to take care of him, just like he always had for her.
hi everyone! really been reentering my marvel era recently... so i figured i would finally start posting some of my marvel one-shots from forever ago !! let me know what you think <3
~~~
"In the end, he never could have dreamed that he would have spent time with Morgan Stark that day, but maybe… maybe it was exactly what he’d needed."
characters: bucky barnes, morgan stark, pepper potts
content/triggers warnings: none!
words: 1,623
~~~
The breeze blew his hair back, rushing in from the windows that were rolled down in his pickup truck. He was driving along a winding mountain road in Georgia, as far out into the country as possible. He’d only been out here once before, and it was a nice change of scenery for a Brooklyn native like him.
An old song was playing on the radio, probably something by Marvin Gaye, but it wasn’t turned up loud enough to really tell. He turned onto a gravel driveway and pulled his truck to a stop, hearing the crunch of pebbles beneath the tires.
Bucky had never been one for visiting graves. Back in the forties, Steve would go to his mother’s grave almost every weekend, and Bucky would come along with him to be a good friend, to be there for moral support. They’d usually share a picnic lunch together afterward. Those times were some of his fondest memories of Steve, and it was when they wouldn’t normally talk at all to each other. The silence was more comforting than anything.
But even after Bucky’s own parents died, he had visited their graves maybe one time. It just wasn’t his thing. It felt stupid to talk to the headstone of a dead person as if they could hear what you were saying. As if they were actually there.
And yet here he was, at Tony Stark’s cabin, sitting on the bench overlooking the lake. A lot had happened here. Tony’s arc reactor had been sent on a float out into the middle of the lake. And on this bench, Steve had come back as an old man to give Sam Wilson the shield.
So much had changed since then.
Bucky looked out at the water, twiddling his thumbs. He knew that there was one last person he needed to make amends with. The thought of this moment had weighed heavily on his heart ever since he’d started visiting his victims, and while he had never physically written Tony’s name down on the list, he had always known there was something he needed to tell him.
He’d never gotten to apologize until it was too late.
“Hey, so um... I don’t really know how to start. Gosh, I feel stupid... but there are so many things you need to know. I asked Pepper if I could come by today, so don’t worry about that. Honestly, I don’t even know why I’m here. It’s not like you can hear me. But maybe just getting all of this out there will... help.”
Bucky took a deep breath and went on. “I’m just gonna start with the fact that none of my victims ever recognized me, except your dad. He called me Sergeant Barnes. I hadn’t heard that in so long... and I didn’t even know it then. Maybe that’s why it still hurts. And because my actions broke up the Avengers. Everyone keeps telling me that it wasn’t my fault, that I was brainwashed, as if I don’t know that. As if I don’t remember. But it is. It is my fault. I did those things. It was me. And I feel guilty for everything I did. Making amends helps. Going to them and apologizing. But I was never able to do that with you.”
Tony, of course, never answered. Bucky exhaled a shaky breath.
“You know, it’s ironic that I’m here now, doing much better, and you’re gone. You were the hero. You got to a good place in life. A family and all... you should never have had to leave it. And here I am. The bad guy. Or I used to be. Now I don’t know what I am. Alone.”
Tears started to fill his eyes. “Before Steve left, he told me to make the most of it. He said I was on the right path, and I had to do my best with the time I have left, because I’m myself, now. I guess that’s why I came. Before Wakanda, before I got my mind fixed... I had no clue what my life was supposed to be. And now I’m Captain America’s best friend, again. Maybe I can finally get to where you were. Find some peace. This cabin is pretty nice, actually. I’d be up for something like this one day.”
Tony still didn’t answer.
The breeze picked up and sent chills down his spine. He pulled his jacket tighter around his torso, shoving his hands into the pockets.
“Of all my target dates, your parents were the only ones I remembered. December sixteenth. All the rest just blur together. Usually, I just remember the faces. And maybe it’s because Zemo hammered it into our brains, but... I remember it every year. And today it has been exactly thirty-three years since that day. Thirty-three... and it still feels fresh. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry that I didn’t tell you that in time. Now I’m just trying to make the most of the time I have. I know your whole story. You had to have believed people could change, right? How could you not? You went from the ultimate playboy to a family man. A selfish billionaire to a self-sacrificial philanthropist. A hero. Steve told me you would have forgiven me. I don’t believe that, but I don’t need forgiveness. I just need... peace.”
He took a deep breath. That was it. That was what he needed to say. His chest felt heavy, but in a good way. A satisfied way.
Bucky was in the motion of turning to walk away when he felt a presence behind him. Oh no. Did he just summon Tony’s ghost to haunt him? He knew it was a bad idea to come here--
“Were you talking to my daddy?”
He looked over his shoulder and spotted a little girl looking up at him innocently.
Morgan Stark. She was taller than he remembered her being at the funeral, but still small. Especially in comparison to him.
His eyes were wide with fear -- over a tiny little girl, he realized -- but he gulped it down and choked out,
“Uh... yeah. I was.”
“Were you his friend?”
He had no clue how to respond, but he decided on telling her the truth. He couldn’t bring himself to be anything other than real after all of that.
“I... no. I wish I had been. Your dad was a great man.”
“I know. Everyone tells me that.”
“Well, they’re right.”
She smiled softly and sat down by him on the bench. “I’m Morgan.”
“My name’s Bucky. It’s nice to meet you.”
“Why were you talking to my daddy?”
She clearly wasn’t one for small talk. Bucky cleared his throat.
“I, um, did something bad a long time ago and it hurt him. I didn’t mean to, but it was my fault. I never got to tell him I was sorry, so I decided that today I finally would.”
Morgan looked thoughtful.
“He heard you,” she told him nonchalantly, as if it was no big deal. “I talk to him all the time. And I think he would be your friend.”
Bucky sniffed away his tears, looking down at his feet. “Yeah? You think so? I mean, you are the expert.”
“Yeah.”
It was silent between them for a few moments before he spoke up again.
“Did your mom send you out here to talk to me?”
She shrugged. “I was coming out to play. She said you might need some company.”
Bucky grinned. “I see. Well, thank you. I think she was right.”
He shifted his arm to lie across the back of the bench, and Morgan froze when she saw his hand – the metal one.
“Your hand...”
“Is metal,” he finished for her quietly. “Yeah. My whole arm is, see?” He pushed up the sleeve of his jacket to show her. Her eyes went wide and he expected her to flip out, but she did the opposite.
‘That’s so cool!” He raised his eyebrows. “Can you do tricks with it?”
“Mm, not really. You know, it’s not even that strong. I bet you could beat me in arm wrestling.”
“No way,” she told him immediately. Bucky smiled cheekily.
“Oh, I’m serious. Try me.”
Finally, Morgan smirked and they got into position, kneeling in front of the bench to use it as their surface. Bucky extended his left hand toward hers, and they locked their palms into position.
“Ready? Go!”
He knit his brow in determination, being very dramatic about it, grunting loudly as they pushed their force against each other. Of course, Bucky wasn't pushing. It was an understatement to say he had faced much, much stronger opponents in his time, but Morgan had no reason to know that.
He feigned a struggle, grunting and huffing, and Morgan smiled proudly. They were an even match, but she found confidence when she saw his arm start leaning back.
“Oh no,” he said warningly, getting worried. “Oh no, no, no, no!” She slammed his arm down and stood up, pumping her fist. Bucky clapped for her.
“You did it, see? I told you!”
“I used to beat my daddy all the time,” she said through her smile. Bucky smiled back.
“Hey, heavyweight champion, wanna invite your new friend in for lunch?”
Pepper appeared behind them, looking at her daughter softly. Morgan turned to Bucky inquisitively.
“Yeah, stay for lunch! We’re having chicken noodle soup.”
“Oh, I couldn’t... I don’t think I--”
“I think you could,” Pepper mused. “You have to be hungry, super soldier.”
Bucky made a noise of protest, but Morgan looped her arm through his instantly, not taking no for an answer.
“Come on!”
In the end, he never could have dreamed that he would have spent time with Morgan Stark that day, but maybe… maybe it was exactly what he’d needed.
IT DOES NOT MATTER WHAT KIND OF WRITER YOU ARE YOU CAN BE WRITING: POEMS, FANFICS, IDK NORMAL FICS, NOVELS, SHORT STORIES, IDK ANYTHING!! JUST REBLOG!!!
characters: sam winchester, dean winchester, teenage!original characters
triggers/content warnings: none!
~~~
It’s dark and silent in my room. I’m lying in the quiet, just scrolling on my phone. Trying not to think about it, about Dean, or Blake, or anything that could send me spiraling. Soon I’ll be gone and I won’t have to deal with this anymore.
I can’t wait to get out of here, to live somewhere I might actually be trusted and cared about.
There’s a knock at my door, and I have to hold back a groan. I was hoping that they wouldn’t bother me tonight.
“Hey, it’s Sam. Can we talk?”
I roll over to turn on the lamp beside my bed, and respond,
“Yeah. Come in.”
Before he even enters, I’m feeling smug that it’s Sam. That Dean doesn’t even want to face me, and that it’s always Sam, the more diplomat one, who has to come and smooth things over with me.
“Hey, Jas,” he says gently, coming into my room, flooded by the warm light of my lamp. He sees timid, like he doesn’t want to come any further than necessary.
I cross my legs under me.
“Hey,” I reply, looking to him expectantly. His chest heaves a big breath before going on.
“So, uh… Jodi is cool with the whole arrangement. We’re going to drive you to her place. I can get everything worked out with your school and all that.”
I nod. “Okay. Thanks.”
“And… we’re planning to leave in the morning. So you’ll want to pack up your stuff tonight.”
This makes my throat grow heavy. I look around my room, and it feels like I’ve just gotten settled in. Now, the thought of moving out again feels daunting.
And sad.
I nod again. “Okay,” I say, though it doesn’t feel right coming out of my mouth. “And Sam… I hope there’s no hard feelings. I hope Dean doesn’t—”
Sam puts out a hand to stop me. “No, it’s okay. Really, it is. You’ll be much better off with Jodi. She’s done this before, and she’ll make sure you’re taken care of. We just weren’t ready to take you in, clearly. This is what’s best, for everyone. No hard feelings, kid.”
I try for a smile, though my lip starts to quiver.
“Hey…”
Sam quickly sits on the bed and wraps his long arms around me. “Hey…” he coos gently, again, pressing his chin to the top of my head.
“I just… didn’t want it to end like this,” I say in a small voice.
I can feel him sigh.
“Jas, look. Do you think this is the last time you’ll see us? We’ll check up on you, all the time. Promise. Jodi is one of our best friends. It’s not ending. We knew you’d eventually end up with Jodi, anyway. This was always temporary.”
I look up at him, pulling away after a moment.
“You promise there’s no hard feelings? That Dean isn’t… upset at me?”
Sam manages a smile. “We both want what’s best for you, kid. And this is it. We just gotta get you there.”
He’s just too diplomatic and evasive. And it’s working on me. I feel a tiny bit better to know this is his outlook.
“Okay. I’ll start packing up.” He nods, standing up.
“See you in the morning, kid.”
~~~
In just a few hours, I’m standing at the bottom of the stairs, a duffel bag slung over my shoulder. Sam is loading the rest of my stuff into the trunk of the Impala. I can’t help but wonder how much room there actually is for my stuff with all the weapons and hunting supplies I know is already there.
I take a long look around the gigantic room. I am beginning to feel choked with nostalgia, remembering when I first came here. How it took a while to get used to everything. And how I finally fell into rhythm, here.
How I learned to be a family with the boys.
There’s a jingle of keys behind me.
“Ready, kid? You look like you forgot something.”
It’s Dean, and I’m not mentally prepared to talk to him after yesterday.
I look back at him, before turning my body fully around.
“No, I think I got everything.”
“Good deal. We’re about ready to load up, then.”
I nod, and open my mouth to say something more, when something stops me. Something inside of me. Dean gives me a weird look.
“What?”
“I…”
It turns out that after a long night of no sleep, and the overwhelming feeling that my life is about to be upended again, I don’t feel angry anymore. I feel soft inside.
I just don’t know how to put it into words.
“I’m just really sorry, for all of this.”
He looks down.
“Please don’t apologize, kid. Please.” His tone is pleading. Like he can’t fathom that I would be sorry.
“Just let me say this,” I say quietly, continuing, “I’m sorry that all of this happened, that you even had to take me in anyways. I know it wasn’t easy and that I put a lot on you.”
“Kid, none of that was your fault—” he tries to protest, but I ignore him.
“And I’m sorry about yesterday,” I blurt out. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth about Blake. I should have been honest and it would have all been better. But now it’s over and I ruined everything and…”
Dean shakes his head, stepping toward me.
“Jas, you didn’t—”
“And please don’t make me leave.”
The last sentence comes out as if it’s all one word, and I’m left breathless from everything I’ve said, all the emotion pent up inside me.
Dean’s eyes are wide with confusion.
“I thought this was what you wanted. You said you wanted to go.”
And my eyes begin to well up with tears.
“I don’t,” I say softly. “I don’t want to move. I want to stay and I want things to be okay. With you.”
He exhales and gestures for me to come closer. I do, starting to cry fully, and wrap my arms tightly around him.
At this point, I hear Sam come inside with a shuffle, but it seems that when he sees what’s going on, he thinks better of interrupting.
“If you want to stay, you can stay,” Dean says through the hug. “I’m sorry, kid. I wish I was better at this. And I wish I could take it all back, what happened yesterday.”
I don’t let go. Not yet. I just want to stay in his arms, to let all my tears out.
“All I could see in my head was that you were trusting someone who hurt you. That you were in danger. I wasn’t thinking when I showed up there yesterday. I should have trusted you, or just talked to you, first. But when your kid is in danger—”
He stops here, and I finally pull away, to look at his expression.
“Your kid?” I ask gently. Dean starts to smile.
“You became my kid the second you walked through that door, you know.”
This admission feels heavy, and it causes me to start to smile.
“That’s good, because you’ve felt like my old man since I got here.”
He rolls his eyes, smirking.
“He’s not our dad, though.”
Sam’s voice pipes up from behind us, and I turn to look at him.
“What?”
“Our dad. He messed up. A lot, when it came to raising us. Let us down a lot. More than Dean likes to admit. But he’s not doing that. He’s not becoming him. Yeah, sure. The overprotectiveness can be a lot. And you two have had your share of problems. But Dean at least knows what not to do.”
I try for a knowing smile.
“The trouble is actually doing it,” Dean says in agreement, looking down. “Kid, we need to talk about yesterday. I… I messed up.”
I wave this off. “We can deal with that, later. We’ll figure everything out. I just want to unpack my stuff.”
Dean gives me an uneasy glance. “And you’re sure you want to stay? Last chance to change your mind and not have to deal with our crap anymore.”
I look back at him sincerely. “Dean… this is my safe place. No matter what, you were the first person to give me a home, to make me feel safe. I finally realized that. If I didn’t see you guys every day, I… I don’t know what I’d do. This is where I need to be. And plus, I’d miss Cas way too much.”
This gets the desired reaction out of him, as Dean sighs and presses his lips together.
“So, should I… go unpack the car?” Sam speaks up after a beat. I turn to him, smiling softly.
“I’ll help,” I offer. I motion to follow him outside, but Dean catches my arm before I do.
“Hey, kid? One more thing.”
“Yeah?”
“It’s just that… families aren’t easy. Me and my family definitely haven’t ever had an easy time being one. And I’m sure yours had its struggles, too. But that doesn’t mean you give up, stop trying. It means you dig in even harder. And I’m learning that. I’m going to make mistakes, but—”
“We all will,” I correct him gently, nodding. “It just means we have to keep trying.”
He nods. “That’s right. So, uh, yeah. Of course you can stay. We gave you a home, here. That’s never going away.”
I hug him once more time before heading out, squeezing the last of the tears out of my eyes. I can’t bring myself to say anything more to him, but the hug helps convey some of it, I think. Dean murmurs,
“I’m really not a hug-guy…”, which makes me laugh as I let go and walk up the stairs behind Sam.
~~~
I make the executive decision that the whole Blake situation needs to be handled with a direct conversation. Not between Dean and I, but between Dean and Blake. So, I invite him over to the bunker for dinner, of course.
But I preface the meeting with a lot of important information.
Dean is sitting across from me at the kitchen table.
“So, catch me up to speed. And you’ll need to get me to… you’re sitting in your car drinking soda with a vampire.”
I roll my eyes. “Just hear me out,” I say, placing my hands down on the table. “A lot happened that I didn’t tell you about. Which I regret now that I’m saying it out loud.”
He smirks. “Yeah. Not the best way to start.”
I sigh.
“Look. He came up to me in the hallway and wanted to talk. He said he needed me to understand what really happened at the warehouse. The truth about him. So I decided to hear him out. And Dean… his story actually makes sense. The whole time, he was trying to save me. But I’ll let him tell you all of that. He’s my biology partner. And he saved my life the other night. Literally. There was this creep… and Blake knocked him out. He saved me. I don’t think an evil vampire would do that.”
Dean looks at me, seemingly hesitant, but at the same time, I can see the trust in his eyes.
“You really trust this guy?” he finally asks softly.
“Yeah, I do,” I tell him, meeting his eyes earnestly. It’s all he seems to need to hear because he nods and exhales.
“Okay. Then I’ll talk to him, hear him out. But I still reserve my right to veto this, got it?”
I nod, shrugging. “Sure. I know all you want is for me to be safe. And on paper, it’s stupid. But I just want you to meet him, that’s all.”
Within the hour, I’ve ordered enough takeout Chinese to feed an army, or just Sam and Dean. And Blake is supposed to be showing up any second.
It feels strangely akin to bringing my boyfriend home to meet my parents. Which this very much is not.
I meet him outside to save him the trouble of having to find the very well-hidden door to the bunker. It also gives me the chance to warm him up before going inside. I stop at the door, placing my hand on the doorhandle but not opening it, yet.
“Look, I just… Sam and Dean can be a little abrasive. Especially Dean. But they’re hunters, and they’re good at what they do. So you gotta give that to them. But I made Dean promise to be nice, and he’s going to hear you out. Or he’s going to regret it. And he knows that. So—”
“Jas, it’ll be fine,” says Blake, cutting me off with a breathy chuckle. He gets a little closer to me, giving a reassuring smile. “It will be. I’m not worried.”
I try for a smile back at him. “Okay. Good. Then here goes nothing…”
I open the door and lead him down the metal stairs to the huge main area of the bunker, but neither Sam nor Dean in sight.
I exhale, explaining the space to Blake, how it’s got shelves and books and antiques and… other supplies. That the boys basically inherited it from their grandfather’s secret hunters club.
“So, if they’re not reading about how to kill monsters, they’re polishing their monster-hunting weapons,” Blake remarks with a slight smirk, just as we get to the bottom of the stairs.
“That’s about right.”
“Comes with the occupation,” comes a voice from behind us, and we both turn to see Dean standing there, holding a takeout container with a fork stuck inside it.
“Oh, uh… hi. It’s nice to meet you, sir. I’m Blake,” he says quickly, shuffling forward. He seems awkward, like he almost wants to reach out to shake Dean’s hand but decides against it.
“Dean Winchester,” Dean responds blankly, giving a nod. “Let’s, uh… cut the crap, okay? I know I freaked both of you out the other day. Clearly we got off on the wrong foot.”
Blake rushes to say, “Oh, it’s no big deal. I—”
“No, it is a big deal,” Dean cuts him off to say, not harshly, but gently. “Thing is… one of my best friends was a vampire. Benny.”
He looks over at me, a certain softness in his eyes. “I didn’t tell you this part, kid,” he adds, “but Benny, he, uh… was a good one. He sacrificed himself to save me. Well, to save Sammy. Literally died for us. If that’s not the definition of good, then I don’t know what is. And I said all that to say… when Jas told me you were good, I should have believed her.”
His entire statement seems to have sucked the air out of the room for a moment. I’m waiting with bated breath, watching Dean and Blake carefully, to see how the rest of this conversation goes down.
The hunter apparently becomes overwhelmed by the awkwardness of Blake not knowing how to respond, so he doesn’t keep waiting for it.
“Anyway, come on in. We have plenty of food that needs to get eaten.”
And just like that, Dean moves on, turning toward the kitchen and leaving the room.
Blake shoots a glance back at me, as if asking permission, or checking to make sure everything’s okay. I just shrug and nod, starting to smile, and the three of us walk toward the kitchen.
I figure “my best friend in the world was a vampire that saved my life” is not a bad start to the conversation this evening.
We find Sam inside the kitchen, already sitting at the table with his mouth full of food. He looks up when we enter and gestures to Blake.
“So you must be Blake,” he says after swallowing his bite of food. “You, uh… you do eat, right?”
Blake grins. “Yeah. I don’t eat too much, but I still think human food tastes good, so I do eat.”
The three of us sit at the table, me and Blake across from the brothers, and begin to pass the containers of food around. My nerves are finally fading enough for me to realize how hungry I am.
“So, uh… I guess you guys are wanting to know what happened in the warehouse, with Jas, and what I have to do with any of this,” Blake says slowly.
Dean gestures with his fork. “Fair assumption.”
Blake sighs and rubs his hands on his thighs. “It’s not what you might think. I was with the nest that night because… because I had been looking for others like me. And when I found the nest, they made me join, and started keeping tabs on me. I was trying to keep it on the down low that I don’t drink human blood. I didn’t know they were going to… to lure others in. They were trying to grow the nest. When they took Jas’s sister… they turned her. There was nothing I could do. But I knew that when Jas showed up that I had to try and save her. You ever wonder how you guys got the tip about the location of the nest?”
Sam raises his eyebrows, starting to place the truth together. “You wanted us to come and save her.”
Blake nods. “Yeah. I didn’t know what else to do. I dragged her away from the others and tried to stall until Dean got there. Then I escaped, and… the rest of the nest was wiped out.”
“Yeah, we know,” mutters Dean, looking down at the table. “Look, the question I have is… you really don’t drink human blood? Isn’t it hard?”
He shrugs at the question. “When I first got turned… I almost did. But the thought of what I was about to do finally hit me and I just… vomited. I couldn’t do it. I figured out that animal blood makes the hunger bearable. And it’s better than knowing what I become if I did drink.”
Both hunters seem a bit impressed at this answer, and I can’t help but be a little smug.
“And you just want a friend who understands,” Sam surmises after a moment, looking between me and Blake. “Someone you don’t have to explain it to.”
Blake nods emphatically. “Jas is actually the first person who gets it and… who hasn’t run away. At least not yet. And I don’t really do friends.”
This makes Dean smile a bit. “Well, you coulda done worse. But she’s a good one.”
“Yeah,” Blake replies, looking over at me with shining eyes. “I know.”
“Do you ever get the urge, though?” Sam pipes up, changing the subject back. “To drink human blood? Sorry, just curious.”
“Sometimes,” says Blake quietly. “The other night, in the parking lot at school… I saw a creepy guy walking up to Jas. I knocked him out, and for a second, I could have… but I didn’t.”
“Honestly? You would have had my support,” Dean says with a slight humorous glint in his eye. I roll my eyes.
“What’s important is that he didn’t,” I point out. “And he’s not going to cross that line. I trust him not to.”
The brothers raise their eyebrows at me, seemingly surprised at my statement, but they don’t have a reply. I can feel Blake’s grateful gaze on me, but I don’t look over, yet.
“Well, that settles it, then,” Dean finally comments, clearing his throat. “So, Blake, as far as vibe checks go… you pass.”
Blake’s eyes light up. “Really? And, uh… where’s the but?”
Dean smirks at this question. “It’s that you have to keep it up. We’re already keeping tabs on you, and naturally we’re going to keep it that way. If your story doesn’t continue to add up…”
My friend gulps. “Got it. And… can I add something?”
Sam furrows his brow at this. “Sure…?”
“I just want to say that… Jas deserves a family like you. She deserves a family that cares. Because she’s a great person and you guys clearly… well, you seem to know that.”
“Dean’s basically a helicopter parent,” blurts Sam, smiling with a knowing expression. “It’s okay, you can say it.”
“Finally, someone admits it,” I interject, sighing dramatically.
Dean slumps in his chair. “You know what? I’ll let go of the reins completely and see how you two like it. Huh?”
Sam and I share a knowing smile.
“It’s okay, Dean. I know it’s just your love language.”
He narrows his eyes at me. “I’m this close to kicking your—”
“Ah, ah, ah,” I coo, wagging a finger at him. “Social services could be listening. No physical threats.”
“And social services doesn’t care that you’re sitting next to a vampire?” he demands incredulously.
I shrug, unfazed. “No one’ll ever believe that. It’s a load of crap. Except that it’s true.”
“Yeah, well… our life is a load of crap,” Blake mutters, causing Sam to smirk and raise his bottle.
“Now, I’ll toast to that.”
~~~
(one year later)
“Surely this place is too outdated to have a smoke detector, right?” I ask, more to myself than anyone else. “I mean… given that this is the first time I’ve even thought about it…”
I’m currently waving the smoke away from the toaster, desperate to get it to dissipate before anyone comes in and notices. But to my chagrin, I turn around just to see Dean leaning against the doorframe, already looking smug.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready?”
“I’m hungry. I don’t have time for that.”
“With the time it usually takes for you to get ready, you’re gonna be late. I’m calling Blake.”
“He’s met me. He knows I’m not on time. Waffle?”
He gives a pointed eye roll. “I’m surprised you’re not diabetic…”
“Says the guy whose diet is composed of beer, burgers, and pie.”
Dean almost looks proud at my statement. “I think I pull it off pretty well.”
I scoff, but it falls silent again between us as I’m spreading butter on my waffle. I can tell Dean has more to say, but it’s like he’s working up the nerve to break the silence again.
“You have to leave in thirty minutes, Jas. And you’re not even dressed. I know how long it takes for you to get ready.”
I sigh, setting my plate down and lowering my head. I finally turn to Dean, biting my lip in an effort not to show emotion.
“I just always thought… he’d be here to see me tonight. To answer the door. To give Blake the talk, about not keeping me out too late and being a gentleman.”
His eyes widen slightly in realization.
“Your dad.”
I nod, eyes welling with tears.
He hesitates, clearly unsure what to do with this expression of emotion. He stutters, “Oh, kid, I’m sorry… I didn’t even…”
“No, it’s not your fault. I don’t want to make you feel bad.”
“Come here, kid.”
Before I know it’s, he’s pulling me into a hug that I don’t realize I need until it’s happening. And then I lean into him, feeling the emotion start to pool in my chest as he rubs my back.
“You know what?” Dean finally asks after a moment, pulling back to look at me. I wipe my eyes, sniffing.
“What?”
“If your dad were here… he’d say that you look beautiful.”
His voice is small and awkward, and I can’t help but smile, knowing how much it means for Dean to get this out.
“Dean, I’m not even wearing my dress, yet…”
“Exactly.”
I’m still smiling, and almost all the sadness is now gone. I’m just left with gratitude for what I do have, what’s right here.
“But I think Blake is almost here, so you’d better get to it, kid. Don’t want to keep him waiting.”
I nod. “Right…”
“But, uh… before you go. I got some good news.”
I furrow my brow. And then realization strikes me.
“Wait… are you finally saying yes to getting a puppy?”
He groans. “No. And don’t get your hopes up about that. We’re definitely not getting another thing to take care of.”
“Come on. You’d love a pet.”
“We’re tabling that,” Dean says sharply, before I can go any further. “Let me just tell you?”
He looks exasperated, so I sigh and motion for him to continue.
“We, uh… have a potential case. Pretty south of here. Like… Florida south.”
I perk up, inhaling sharply. “Like Orlando? Like Disney World?”
Dean is sheepish. “We can try to make a stop. Only if you stay out of trouble, kid. I’m talking best behavior.”
I’m so giddy I’m not even hearing him.
“I promise, I’ll be so good and quiet and respectful if you take me to Disney. Promise. Oh my gosh… we’re so going on the teacups…”
Before I can get any more excited, he makes sure I understand that this is conditional. We can only go to Disney World if their hunt goes well. Meaning… things don’t go south and they both survive. I’m used to this condition, though, so it doesn’t really faze me.
I’m just about to turn around and head to my room, when something stops me, and I give Dean one last look.
“You know, part of what’s been hard for me is being scared that you and Sam will give up on me. Because you’re not my real family. There’s no obligation to keep me around. Some nights I can’t sleep because I imagine you deciding it’s not worth it anymore. That I’m too much trouble.”
Dean looks like he wants to stop me from going any further. “Kid—”
“But then stuff like this reminds me that you won’t give up on me. Because we are a family. And the first thing you ever said to me is still true.”
“What’s your name?”
The words cut through a blur. I don’t even have the strength to open my eyes, which are probably sealed shut from tears. But something in me fights to respond.
“Jas…” I murmur.
“Jazz? Like the music?”
If I were fully conscious, I would roll my eyes.
“No. Short for Jasmine.”
“Ah. Okay. Jas.” He tests the name in his mouth.
“Just hang on. I got you.”
Dean starts to smile, looking down as wrinkles form around his eyes.
“We’re the family you got, kid. The one that chose you. And if that ain’t real, I don’t know what is.”
—-
and there ya have it! hope you all enjoyed, thank you SO much for reading :))
characters: sam winchester, dean winchester, teenage!original characters
trigger/content warnings: mention of weapons/violence, wounds after a fight
~~~
There’s a pit of dread in my stomach every time I think of mentioning this to Sam and Dean. And I know, deep down, that I can’t hide this from them forever.
Fortunately, I’m not having to lie to their faces every time they ask, because they’ve stopped asking. I suppose the one-hundredth time I said, “if something happens, you’ll know about it”, they believed me.
Ironically, I’ve made a liar out of myself, at this point.
A few days later, the Winchesters are getting home from another hunt, both of them beaten down and bloody. Sam drapes himself across the couch, sighing loudly, and Dean sits at the kitchen table, meticulously attempting to place a bandage on his split eyebrow.
“Here, let me see,” I say, approaching him and reaching out to take the bandage from him. Dean instantly pulls away.
“No, you don’t have to…”
I roll my eyes. “Come on. You can’t do it yourself without a mirror. Just let me help.”
Finally, he let me take the bandage, exhaling in defeat. I gently start to press it over the cut in his brow.
“You got pretty bloody,” I remark, noting the blood spatters on his face. “Good thing I’m not squeamish.”
“Kid, you don’t have to do this. You shouldn’t have to—”
“Just be still for a sec,” I say, sticking my tongue out in concentration.
I’m bandaging his jaw, now. Dean sighs again, giving up.
“It’s not just your job to take care of me, you know,” I finally comment quietly. “I can take care of you, too.”
He looks up at me. He doesn’t seem to know what to say. After a few moments, Sam emerges into the kitchen, holding a bottle of painkillers. He tosses it into his brother’s hands.
“So what happened?” I ask them, and my eyes light up with curiosity.
“Nasty ghost,” says Sam, crossing his arms. “Like… nasty. The thing was slamming Dean around. And—”
“Yeah, and you were taking your sweet time with that salt-and-burn,” Dean cut in, clearly perturbed from the way he glares at his brother. “I could have broken my neck like three times waiting for you to get it done.”
Sam rolls his eyes. “Yeah, like you could’ve gone any faster…” he murmurs, looking down.
“Plus, you could be the one to volunteer to do the salt-and-burn next time. I’ll let you.”
His brother just crosses his arms, electing not to comment.
“Anyway, we made it, kid,” he concludes. “Another day, another job. We’re all good, now.”
Dean grabs a washcloth and starts trying to clean some of the blood off his face.
All I can picture is him fighting a monster, tearing it to shreds, with a dangerous look in his eye… blood splatters up on his face. And somehow, the only monster I can picture is—
Blake.
I must be making a face, because Sam touches my shoulder to get my attention.
“Hey, something bothering you?” he asks, looking concerns. I clear my throat and shake my head quickly.
“No, sorry. Just thinking.”
Sam raises his eyebrows. “Thinking…?”
I know what he wants to ask. I sigh, deciding to come out with it. Carefully.
“I guess I was just wondering if you guys have ever met any… you know, like… good monsters.”
This really seems to catch Dean’s attention. His expression turns skeptical.
“What do you mean, good?”
“Like… I don’t know. A monster that… doesn’t actually want to be one. I mean, because some of them used to be human, right? So… they can’t all be bad, can they?”
The brothers share a look, and then they turn back to me with serious gazes. But I hurry to continue before they can say anything.
“I guess I’m just thinking about vampires,” I admit quietly, choosing against my better judgement to say more than I was planning to.
“Are they all bad? I mean… have you ever met one that doesn’t want to hurt people? Or doesn’t drink their blood?”
Dean starts to answer immediately, reading me like a book. “Kid, if this is about that vampire at school, I swear…”
“Can I not be curious?” I fire back, getting defensive, and let out of a huff. “Why does everything have to be about that? I was just wondering.”
“Well, stop wondering. As far as you’re concerned, a monster is a monster. And we hunt it.”
“Dean,” Sam snaps suddenly, shooting him a pointed look. “Don’t lie to her.”
My eyes widen slightly. “So you have known good monsters…”
The taller brother nods slowly.
“Plenty of them. And Dean is wrong to make you think otherwise. Some of our best friends have been monsters. Vampires. Werewolves. My brother knows that better than anyone.”
“Yeah, you know what I know better than anyone?” Dean pipes up. “That it’s better to always assume the worst. Guilty until proven innocent, kid.”
Sam’s gaze is soft toward me.
“Jas… it’s possible for vampires to be good, yeah. But not likely. Especially if you really did see this kid at the nest. It’d be best not to try and seek him out—”
“Who says I’m going to seek him out?” I ask quickly, looking between the brothers. “I’m not stupid.”
“Well, you’re asking stupid questions.”
Dean’s quick answer causes my eyes to sting. And at that, I get up from where I’m sitting and start heading to bed, without another word.
“Wait, kid. Come on…” Dean protests, getting up and starting to come after me.
“I didn’t mean it like that!”
But apparently, Sam stops him from following me, because I make it all the way to my room before I hear or see anything more.
~~~
My new biology partner is a vampire. I wish this was made up, like a chapter title in a Percy Jackson book. But no, it’s my life. My very real life.
Since my previous partner had to switch classes, Blake is paired up with me for the biology project, in a strange twist of fate.
“I swear I didn’t pick you,” is the first thing he says as he places his stuff down beside my desk. “He just put us together.”
I shrug, trying for a small smile. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I’m cool with it if you are.”
Blake nods, exhaling, like my relaxed response is a weight off his shoulders. I start to smile even wider.
“Just as long as this isn’t like that scene from Twilight,” I add, eyes sparkling with humor. This gets a small smile out of him.
“Don’t worry. I could never be Edward Cullen.”
“Right. You’re too awkward,” I tease.
He looks down at the microscope between us.
“You can look first, if you want. I’ll take notes.”
I nod, gently pulling the microscope closer to me. Blake takes out his notebook to start jotting down what I say.
I press my eye up against the microscope, peering into the dish of bacteria.
It starts out strange between us, but as we progress through the project, we fall into a sort of rhythm. A comfortableness.
When the bell rings, it feels like hardly any time has passed, but also that we’ve been in here forever at the same time. I’m packing up my book bag when Blake turns to me.
“Got plans after school?”
“Not really. I don’t, uh… exactly want to go home. I was going to try to find something to do. Maybe go shopping. I don’t know.”
He nods, looking down at his feet.
“Okay. Well… see you tomorrow, in class.”
And with that, he starts to leave. But I furrow my brow, wanting to ask more. I open my mouth to say something else, when it hits me.
I have to get down to the theater to help after school. Which is right now.
I let out a breath and turn away from Blake, heading down the hallway toward the drama department.
I signed up to help with painting set pieces for the upcoming school play, both as a way to volunteer my talent and also to keep myself busy, and on a day like today, I couldn’t be more grateful for this commitment, given that the last thing I want to do tonight is go home to face Dean.
It’s a few hours of painting a huge forest backdrop, which is really starting to come together, when it hits six pm and I know I have to start heading home.
I wash some of the paint off my hands, say goodbye to my friends, and grab my backpack to walk out to the car.
I’m leaving out of the side door to the school, closest to where my car is parked, when a figure catches my peripheral vision.
“Hey, sweetheart…” a strange voice drawls, starting to follow me. “Going home alone?”
This sends chills down my spine. I begin to walk faster, uneasy. I don’t reply, just making a beeline for my car. The guy starts to follow me even closer.
“Aw, come on. I’ve seen you around. Don’t you want some company?”
So this is turning out to be a real creep.
“Please leave me alone,” I say, shooting one brave glance over my shoulder. I get to my car door, but the guy is now right on top of me.
Only just now am I noticing the glint of a knife that he holds at his side.
That is, until his collar is grabbed and he is yanked backward, almost off his feet, and pulled far away from me, where he faces off against another person.
In the dark, I can’t make out who the other figure is, until he speaks.
“Get away from her, and get out of here. Now.”
It’s Blake.
And then, in a way that, in any other scenario would have terrified me, Blake bares his teeth at the guy. His vampire fangs.
Somehow, the assailant is too stunned – or stupid – to run, so he just raises his knife in an effort to fend Blake off. So Blake just punches him, and just like that, he’s out cold on the pavement.
I’m standing there, out of breath and at a loss for words after what has just happened. My fear has turned to disbelief in a matter of seconds. And in my hesitation to react, I watch as Blake hovers over the unconscious figure.
I wonder if he’s thinking about his blood…
“Blake?”
This snaps him out of it, whatever it was. He stands up straight and turns back around, clearly realizing that he has yet to check on me.
“Hey… you okay?” he asks, face full of concern. I nod quickly.
“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks for doing that… I’m, uh… lucky you showed up.”
Blake shrugs. “You could’ve have handled him. But I’m glad you didn’t have to.”
I find a smile. “What are you still doing here, anyway? It’s late.”
“I could ask the same for you,” he points out. “I was helping out at basketball practice. I kinda have a job with the coach.”
My eyes widen slightly.
“That’s kinda cool,” I admit gently. “I was helping with the theater club. Painting sets and stuff.”
“Ah, okay. That’s kinda cool,” says Blake, smiling at how he has copied me.
I smirk, looking down.
“Can I drive you home, or something?”
He shakes his head. “Nah, it’s okay. I have a ride.”
I press my lips together. “Alright. Uh… thanks, again. You literally just saved me.”
He waves this off, beginning to turn and walk away. “It’s what anyone would have done.”
“Wait. Did you, uh… have something else to ask? Did you want to hang out?”
I can not believe these words are coming out of my mouth right now. But I can’t go back, now. And I’m almost desperate not go home, yet, where I know I have to face Sam and Dean after what happened last night.
“Oh, um… sure. If that’s fine with you.”
I sling my backpack over my shoulder, following him out of the classroom. “Let’s go grab a soda. If you drink that kind of thing,” I tease, smirking. Blake rolls his eyes.
“I’ll have you know I very much enjoy soda. Probably too much.”
Soon, we’re sitting in my car, drinking two sodas we have ordered from a fast-food drive-thru, sitting in silence. Blake speaks up after a while, swallowing and looking over at me.
“So… before, you said you didn’t want to go home. Is there a reason for that?”
I give a half shrug. “Just don’t really want to see Sam and Dean right now.”
“You guys have a fight?” he offers.
“If you want to call it that,” I reply. I go quiet for a moment, and when I realize he is still looking at me expectantly, I add, “I don’t really want to get into it.”
Especially since the fight was technically about him.
Blake nods, looking down at his lap. He exhales slowly.
“You know… I don’t really do this. Like making friends and all that. I try to keep to myself. Because…”
I don’t make him finish. “You don’t want to hurt anyone,” I finish gently for him. Blake nods.
“Or freak anyone out. But I figured it’s different with you, since I can’t really freak you out. And I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t let me hurt you.”
I start to smile. “That machete is in my trunk right now,” I say with a slight humorous glint in my eye. “Just to update you.”
He smiles back. “I wouldn’t expect anything less.”
“Look…” I start to say after a moment passes. “Maybe I’m crazy. But I believe everything you said about that night at the warehouse. And I believe that you’re… you’re trying to be good. I even talked to Sam and Dean about it. They’ve known good vampires. So I’m choosing to believe you’re one of those.”
My statement seems to make Blake very emotional.
“It really means a lot to hear you say that,” he replies quietly, meeting my gaze with eyes full of sincerity.
“Really. It’s been a long time since I’ve even trusted myself. But it’s nice to know someone else does.”
Just then, something catches my attention. A flash of headlights in the rearview mirror.
A car has pulled up behind us, and as I glimpse it in the mirror, my stomach drops. I swallow, looking over at Blake nervously.
“I, uh… just stay right here. Okay? I’ll be right back.”
He furrows his brow. “Wait… what—”
But I step out of the car quickly, closing the driver’s side door behind me without elaborating. Before me sits the shiny black Impala, and Dean gets out of the driver’s seat.
“Dean…”
“Hey, what’s up?” he asks, as if nothing’s wrong. I furrow my brow.
“What are you doing here?”
He shrugs. “Checking on ya. You didn’t come home for dinner.”
The realization hits me. “How did you know where I was? Were you tracking me?”
Dean waves this off. “We have trackers in all of our cars. I wasn’t tracking you. I just looked at your location. Big difference, kid.”
I roll my eyes. “That’s still an invasion of my privacy.”
He nods towards my car. “Who’s the kid in the car with you?”
I swallow carefully. “What if I told you it was my friend? That’s all you need to know.”
Dean doesn't back off after my explanation. He's clearly alarmed that I'm being so coy, and I can tell that he’s determined to quell his suspicions.
“Tell me it’s not the vampire. That’s all I need to know.”
“You came out here because you assumed I would be hanging out with him? Really?” I ask, getting incredulous the more I start putting this together.
“After last night? Yeah, I got a bad feeling,” Dean says defensively, taking a step closer to me. “Can you blame me? Just tell me that’s not him and I’ll leave.”
I grow quiet, looking down at the ground, and he instantly takes this for my answer.
“Kid… what were you thinking? How long did you think you could hide this from us, really?” He places a hand on his hip, and I realize what he has in the holster, there.
A machete.
“Dean… what are you doing…?” I start to ask, trembling, but there’s the sound of my car door closing which doesn’t allow me to fully react.
“Jas?” asks Blake, sounding nervous and unsure.
I immediately spin around, stretching out my hand toward him protectively.
“Hey, it’s fine. Everything’s fine. Just a misunderstanding. Just, um… get back in the car, okay? It’ll be just a second—”
But he seems to read my tone. “I think I’m just gonna head home,” he says quietly. “It’s okay.”
And he looks toward Dean, clearly noting what he has come here to do.
“I’m sorry. I won’t see her anymore. It won’t be a problem.”
And with that, he walks away.
“Blake!” I call out, but he doesn’t turn around. So I turn back to Dean, anger becoming a fire in my eyes.
Looking at him, everything feels wrong. I feel scared, and alone. Not safe. And the only emotion I’m getting from his eyes is distrust.
“I want to go live with Jodi.”
The words pour from my mouth, leaving Dean speechless. His eyebrows un-crease at the sound of this, and his gaze softens.
“Wait… kid…”
I wave this off, trying to hold back my tears. “I’m going back to the bunker.”
characters: dean winchester, sam winchester, castiel, teenage!original characters
trigger/content warnings: mention of violence
~~~
Turns out, Castiel is a really great listener.
He’s sitting beside me on the couch, and I’m turned sideways to face him, my knees pulled up to my chest.
“And then, I almost told him I loved him,” I’m saying, waving my hand for dramatic flare.
Cas furrows his brow at me.
“Almost? Why?”
“Well, because it’s kind of a thing for me. I’m used to hanging up the phone after saying “love you, bye”, to my family. It’s just a habit, I guess.”
He seems to start to understand.
“And this habit… it brings up memories of your dad and sister.”
I nod slowly. “It’s not a big deal. I mean, I almost say I love you to people all the time. When I’m ordering a pizza, checking out at the store, stuff like that. But… Dean definitely noticed that I almost said it.”
“Is that bothering you?” he asks, sounding confused again. “Do you not love him? Or is the problem that you don’t want him to know that you love him?”
I smirk slightly, sliding down into the couch a bit.
“Now you’re getting it. Look… it’s not exactly that. It’s just kinda weird to say that. I haven’t lived here very long. I’m not sure if I actually… do. You know? That’s something I’m going to have to warm up to. And I don’t know how Dean feels about that, either. I’m just not… sure he ever even wanted a kid in the first place.”
Cas cocks his head at me, looking a bit disapproving of my words.
“Jas, maybe Sam and Dean never planned to take you in, but they haven’t regretted it, once. Believe that.”
“Yeah? Not even this morning, after I totally freaked them out to the point that they turned around and came back from their hunt?”
“Not even then,” Cas assures me without missing a beat.
“That’s the thing about parenthood. Kids are the best thing that can happen to you. They change you in ways you never thought possible. For the better. The good outweighs the bad. Even when it doesn’t seem like it in the moment.”
I give him a weird look.
“You sure know a lot about parenting,” I say slowly, starting to smile.
“Oh, trust me. I’ve had my share of experience.”
“How exactly does an angel become a father? Wait... you have a kid? Or children?” I ask quickly, curiosity getting the better of me.
Cas smirks.
“Not children that I am the parent of, technically, but… certain relationships that I have are of a more parental nature, I would say,” he explains. “I suppose if I have affection, and a protective feeling toward someone, it makes me sort of like a father.”
I raise my eyebrows at him.
“Well, I’m gonna need an example of this. Is one of these kids this Jack that Sam and Dean keep talking about?”
He nods. “With Jack, his mother made me promise to watch over him before he was born. I felt connected to Jack even before his birth. And I have tried to keep my promise, and offer guidance to him. But being Lucifer’s son, he didn’t really have anyone else in his life to do so, since his mother died. I was like a default father to him.”
I blink a few times. I open my mouth to respond, but he continues before I can.
“And then there’s Claire, too. I was a sort of father to her, I guess. But not a very good one. You see, her real dad was my vessel.”
I click my tongue, staring at him. “Your what?”
“My vessel,” he repeats. “The human form I take on earth.”
He looks down, gesturing to his body.
“It was a man named Jimmy Novak. When I took his vessel, he… well, it’s a long story. But he died. And his daughter had no one. She was on her own for a while, but she began to get into trouble. She started hunting, like Sam and Dean, but she was young and inexperienced. I reached out and was able to help her, similarly to Jack, by offering guidance. It wasn’t much compared to the father she lost, but… she’s a good person, and turned out okay. Now she lives with Jodi.”
“That’s the cop that’s friends with Sam and Dean, right? The one who takes girls in.”
Cas nods. “Yes. She gave quite a few girls a good place to call home.”
He hesitates for a second, and it’s almost as if I already know what he’s thinking, what he’s going to say next.
“That’s still an option for you, you know. If you wanted to consider living with Jodi. Sam and Dean made it clear that they could work that out for you.”
I press my lips together thoughtfully. Truth be told, the thought has rarely even occurred to me.
“I, uh… yeah, I know,” I start out.
Cas adds, “If you felt like you needed that, it may be easier to tell me. If you are worried about hurting Sam and Dean by telling them you wanted to live with Jodi.”
“Yeah,” I say again. “The thing is, though… I don’t feel like I want that. Not really. I mean, I think what I need is stability. I don’t want to keep moving around. And…”
“And you feel safe here, don’t you?” Cas asks, catching me off guard, in a tone that suggests he knows more than I initially thought.
I meet his gaze. “Yeah. How’d you guess?”
He shrugs.
“It’s easy to assume you would feel the safest with Dean, given that he saved you from the vampires. He’s the first safe person you encountered, the first voice you heard after you lost your family. It’s normal to want to cling to that.”
“Just hang on. I got you.”
Suddenly, a pair of strong arms place themselves under me and lift me up, bridal style, to be carried out of there.
“It’s all okay. Gonna get you out of here, kid. It’ll be okay.”
The realization hits me. I have been clinging to Dean because of that. Because he makes me feel safe. He’s the first person who did, after I lost everyone. The thought of saying goodbye to him… it feels like I would be saying goodbye to the last person on earth who wants to keep me safe.
“I, uh… guess you’re right,” I admit sheepishly. “You know, you’re kinda like a therapist.”
This makes Cas smile.
“I’m far from that. I don’t really… well, I’m on the road to fully understanding human emotions. But I’ve learned that talking through issues often helps when you don’t know exactly how you feel. It certainly helps with Sam and Dean.”
I smirk widely. “Right. Because they have the emotional intelligence of a rock.”
The angel chuckles at this. “Dean is perhaps the worst at it. He just pushes everything down until it surfaces… and usually in a way that is less than ideal.”
I press my lips together, nodding. “Yeah. It’s good we had this talk. But, uh… maybe don’t mention it to them? You don’t really have to. I know you probably report back on me, but you can just leave this part out.”
“I don’t report back on you…” Cas tries to argue, and I shoot him a look.
“So Dean isn’t about to call you to find out how I’m doing?”
He sighs, knowing I’m onto something.
“Well… you’re right. He doesn’t have to know that we had this conversation. It can be between us.”
I give a satisfied smile. “Good.”
“But,” he continues before I can move on, “you should tell them all of this yourself. I think Sam and Dean are under the impression that you wouldn’t want to stay here. And Dean needs to know what you told me, about him making you feel safe. Especially after what happened today.”
I let out a huff, lowering my head into my knees.
“Yeah, I know. I’ll tell them. Eventually.”
And after a beat, I swing my legs off the couch, inhaling and stretching out my back.
“I’m gonna head to bed.”
I look over my shoulder at Cas, and my expression turns to warmth.
“Thanks, Cas. Really. I don’t know what I would have done if you weren’t here. If I had to be alone tonight.”
“You never have to be alone,” he tells me with wide-eyed earnestness. “I’m always around. And I’ll stay as long as you need. Get some rest.”
I nod, smiling. “Okay. Night, Cas.”
~~~
The rest of my week is uneventful – painfully so. It’s like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop. But at the same time, it’s boring. Sam and Dean get back from their hunt and life goes on as normal, except now they’re watching me like a hawk, and giving me interrogations after school.
“So, nothing happened?”
“Well, obviously stuff happened,” I say, a smug look on my face. And Dean rolls his eyes.
“You know what I mean.”
“No, nothing happened,” I say, sighing dramatically. “I didn’t see him. Nothing out of the ordinary. I’m fine.”
“And you’re sure?”
“Dean, I’d be freaked out, and I would tell you about it,” I assure him, getting a bit irritated. “I promise. Okay?”
He seems to believe me, relaxing in his seat. “Okay. Yeah, okay, good. Sorry, kid. I just worry.”
“It was all in my head,” I tell him, trying to convince myself of that. “The longer it's been since I saw what I saw, the more that seems to be the truth.”
“Right, yeah,” Dean agrees with me. “I’m sure it was. You got nothing to worry about.”
And later, Sam would take his turn to ask, casually,
“So, how’s school going?”
I say, “Good,” and he doesn’t seem satisfied with that answer.
“Any report cards for me to sign?” he asks, giving me a soft smile. “Or homework I can help with?”
I give a half-shrug. “I think I have it all figured out. And you don’t have to sign report cards anymore. It’s all done online, now.”
Sam raises his eyebrow at this.
“Oh… oh. Okay, well… good. And there’s nothing, uh, else…” He trails off, but I know exactly where he’s going.
“Yeah, Sam. It’s all fine. I haven’t seen him again. If I did, you would know. I would tell you.”
“I know, I know,” he says quickly, sighing. “Sorry. I just…”
“You think I would keep it to myself, if something happened,” I remark, starting to nod. “It’s okay. I get why you would think that.”
“You might not want to bother us,” he goes on. “You might think it’s not important. But it is. It really is. If something weird is going on, it’s better to have me and Dean help than for you to wait until it gets worse.”
I sit there and assure Sam that I understand, and that I promise to tell him if I notice anything weird at all.
Little do I know I’m making a liar out of myself.
~~~
It’s a couple more quiet weeks before I’m standing at my locker, stowing away my textbooks after the last period of the day, when there’s a tap on my shoulder.
“Hey.”
I spin, and my eyes immediately widen. My legs tense up, ready to make a break for it, and I inhale sharply. But something keeps me frozen in place.
It’s him.
Weirdly enough, he seems sheepish. Not intimidating, just uncomfortable. He wears big round glasses and his light brown hair hangs over one side of his forehead.
“Do you, um… have a second?” he asks.
I raise my eyebrows, completely thrown off by the start of this interaction. It’s almost like he’s oblivious to how terrified I am.
“Uh, I don’t… think that’s a good idea,” I say, trying to end things and turn my back to him. But he stops me.
“Wait. Just hear me out. I think we need to talk.”
This catches my attention. I almost can’t believe that I’m giving in to this conversation, but I just can’t stop myself.
“Talk?” I ask, turning back around, lowering my voice to a whisper. “There’s nothing to talk about. You tried to kill me.”
“It’s not like that. Look… there’s a lot to explain. Here.” He reaches out, holding a tiny slip of paper. “My number. Text me or something, after school. We can meet somewhere and talk. I just… need you to know the truth.”
I look at him, still at a loss, but he doesn’t wait for me to respond before disappearing down the long hallway and out of my sight. For a second, it feels like the world is spinning, and my hearing goes out for a beat. All I hear is ringing, and I don’t notice anything going on around me. I’m just looking down at the little paper.
Somehow, I make it to the car, quickly lock the doors, and sit alone in silence, still reeling.
The utter mental turmoil I’m feeling is overwhelming, and it’s because of the main question I’m facing: do I tell the Winchesters about this, or not?
My immediate answer scares me more than anything. It’s almost instinctual to want to keep this to myself, to not worry them over nothing. Besides, nothing bad has even happened yet. I don’t even have to meet this guy. It could be over.
And yet… the thought of hiding this from them until things go south, and then having to come clean? I can picture the disappointment, the anger…
It might be the last straw. They might decide they don’t want me to live there anymore. And then I really, truly, won’t have anyone.
But nothing has even happened yet. I could just have this conversation, and Sam and Dean will be none the wiser, because they won’t have to know.
Ding-ding-ding-ding. We got a winner.
I pull out my phone quickly and type in the number from the slip of paper, heart racing in my chest. I hit send on the message before I can think too hard about it and stop myself.
Fine. I’ll meet you outside the convenience store on Park Street. There are some benches outside there we can sit and talk.
It seems like the best bet to me. Slightly secluded, but still in public so there will be witnesses if anything happens to me.
Then comes the response.
Be there in ten.
Soon, I’m sitting alone at a picnic table, waiting in trepidation for this guy to show up. I’m wringing my hands, praying harder than ever that I’m not stupid, that I’m not making the biggest mistake of my life.
And there’s a machete in my backpack. For obvious reasons. I’m nothing if not prepared, and Dean made sure I know the best way to kill a vampire.
The fear slightly subsides when I notice him walking toward where I’m sitting, his expression seeming like a mirror of my own.
“Wasn’t sure if you were actually going to show up,” he says, sitting down across from me.
“Yeah, well… I’m still figuring out if I should start regretting it right about now.”
He sighs, before meeting my eyes. “Look, I get it. Thanks for meeting me. I promise, you, uh… you’ll be fine. I’m not… what you think.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “So you’re not a vampire?”
He winces slightly. “I… I am.”
The hairs on the back of my neck start to stand up. My heart races.
“Then you’d better get to explaining real fast,” I say quickly, getting worried and defensive.
He opens his hands out toward me, as a show of pleading, I guess.
“Okay, just hear me out. My name is Blake. I’m a vampire, yeah. But that’s not… I’m not like the others.”
A scoff escapes my lips. I can’t believe I’m still sitting here.
“You’re just reciting, like, every vampire novel ever. I can’t believe I’m…”
I start to get up from the table, but Blake reaches out a hand to stop me.
“Wait. Please. I just… don’t want you to think I’m a monster.”
His plea gets me to stop. I look over my shoulder at him.
“But you are. You’re not even human.”
“I know that. But—”
“You kidnapped me and tried to kill me!” I say, getting a bit loud in my argument. Blake stays calm, though, looking down.
“I didn’t do any of those things. I was there, yeah, but—”
“Then you helped.”
Blake seems to be losing hope, and rightfully so. No ounce of me wants to continue to listen to him.
“Please, can I just… explain?”
I stay still for a moment, trying to think through this rationally. There’s no logical part of me that thinks Blake is not going to try to kill me. Hearing him out would be stupid. Pointless. Reckless.
But then again… there’s no logical explanation for why Blake would want to have this conversation with me at all. And why he hasn’t tried anything yet. And why he actually agreed to meet me at a public place in the first place.
“Fine,” I finally say, exhaling nervously.
I take my seat back down at the table.
“You can explain.”
Blake breathes out, clearly relieved to hear this.
“Okay, then look. I know you have no reason to trust me. But I don’t drink blood. Well… not human blood, anyway. I never have. Never will. I wasn’t going to hurt you when you were at the nest. I was trying to get you out.”
“But you dragged me… you…” I slowly realize my argument isn’t a good one. I don’t have much of a memory of what Blake did at the warehouse.
“Yeah, I dragged you away to try to find a way to get you out without the others seeing,” he says emphatically.
“I couldn’t exactly just turn on them in plain sight. Not after they killed your family. They would have killed us both on the spot.”
I meet his eyes. “You were whispering something to me.”
And then the memory hits me.
“It’s gonna be okay,” comes a whisper in my ear. “I’ll get you out of here.”
Blake nods. “Remember now?”
He can read it on my face. I try to remain as stoic as possible.
“If you were trying to help me, why were you even there that night? You had to have been helping them. And those other vampires were all evil. So why were you with them?”
I appear to have hit a nerve. He gets sheepish.
“I messed up. I should never have gone to the nest. After I got turned… I was so alone. No one knew what happened to me. I hated that I was alone. No one understood, so I thought if I found a group… it could be better. I could have help. But none of the others are like me. They all drink human blood. And when they found out about me, they didn’t let me leave. At least… I still had to check in with them. The nest was psychotic, always turning others and making them join the nest. I couldn’t get out. If they found out I was trying to work against them, or that I wasn’t feeding…”
I rub a hand down my face, sighing.
“That makes sense,” I finally admit quietly. “You really don’t drink human blood?”
Blake gives a tiny shrug. “It’s not so bad after a while. It was really, really hard, at first. But I just couldn’t do it. Like I said, I’m just not like that.”
I give him a skeptical look. “You get that this is all really hard for me to believe, right? I mean, it all sounds great. Which probably means you’re lying.”
He sighs again. “Who do you think tipped off Sam and Dean about the nest? Because they surely didn’t read about it in the newspaper, or whatever they do.”
My eyes widen. “You… you know about them?”
“’Course I do. Just about every vampire does. They know what the Winchesters do, how to avoid them. But I knew they would come and put an end to that nest, once and for all if they found out. I just…”
Blake gets a faraway look in his eye. I can see clear regret in him.
“I just wish I had done it sooner. It’s my fault, what happened to you. And I’m so, so sorry.”
We’re both quiet for a while, and I just let the words sink in. If what Blake is telling me is true, then he really isn’t the bad guy, here.
And none of this is his fault.
“So… you really had to tell me this, huh?” I finally remark, looking back up at him.
“What’s in it for you?”
Blake smiles grimly. “One less person in the world thinking I’m a monster.”
This comment softens me even further, and stupidly, against my better judgment, I believe him. But I’m not going to admit that just yet.
“There’s a machete in my bag,” I blurt, without stopping myself. He almost smiles at this.
“You could kill me. You’d be well within your right to.”
“You really do feel guilty about this…” I say, biting my lip.
“It’s my fault, though.”
I roll my eyes, muttering, “Sounds a lot like someone else I know.”
Blake gives me a weird look, not understanding, but I wave this off.
“Look… what happens now? So I know the truth. At least, the part of the story you’re claiming is the truth. So what? We’re best friends?”
He shakes his head. “You never have to talk to me again. Or look at me. I’ll leave you alone. I just needed to clear the air, now that I know we go to the same school. I couldn’t live with myself, seeing you every day, knowing what happened.”
I swallow. “I live with Sam and Dean now, you know. They could end you if you ever tried anything.”
Blake raises his eyebrows. He evidently didn’t know that part, the new development in my living situation.
“Noted. I one hundred percent believe they would.”
“But I’m deciding to trust you,” I say pointedly, giving him a stern look. “Because… well, if this is all a lie, it’s a stupid one.”
This gets a smile out of him at last. “Glad to see you’re being rational about this.”
There’s something about Blake, something in his gaze, in his manners, that makes him totally believable, and almost likeable.
It makes me want to throw up.
“Thanks for hearing me out,” he says, finally, getting up from the picnic table. “I’ll, uh… let you get home. I guess I’ll see you around. Or not, if you don’t want to. I, uh…”
I roll my eyes. “You’re so not like the fictional vampires. None of them are this awkward.”
He smiles at this, almost starting to blush.
“Just don’t try to kill me, okay?" I add. "And I’d say we’re cool to leave it at that.”
Blake nods. “Okay. We’re cool. That’s cool.”
Gosh, I hope this isn’t a mistake. Because I walk away feeling like I’ve made a friend. This can’t be happening.
characters: dean winchester, sam winchester, castiel, teenage!original character
triggers/content warnings: mention of violence/trauma
series masterlist
~~ chapter 5
My mouth is full of Pop-Tart, and I’m shoving textbooks down into my backpack, when Dean pops his head into the kitchen.
“Hey. We’re headed out. You know the drill. We won’t be back for a while, but if you don’t hear from one of us…”
“I know, I know,” I tell him, sighing. “Check in often. If I can’t get an answer from you for twenty-four hours, I call the cops.”
He clicks his tongue, giving me a finger-gun.
“Bingo. See you soon, kid.”
“The hunt doesn’t happen to be in Orlando, Florida, by any chance? Someplace we can take a family vacation?” I ask before he can leave, starting to smirk widely. Dean rolls his eyes.
“Unfortunately not this time. I’ll let you know if we ever have to go to any vacation spots. Not likely, though. And, uh, Cas’ll be around while we’re gone. Okay?”
I cross my arms.
“Cas doesn’t have to babysit me,” I whine.
“Not babysitting. He likes hanging out with you. He’s told me more than once that he likes learning human stuff from you.”
I raise my eyebrows. “Really? He actually said that?” I ask, skeptical.
Dean shrugs it off. “Just sayin’. Be good, kid.”
I wave him off, sighing again as I pack up the rest of my school stuff and sling my backpack over my shoulder.
The drive to school is quiet and uneventful, until I pull into the parking lot and see someone walking by that stops me. I park the car, and before long, the world starts spinning as I stare down at the steering wheel, head whirling with thoughts about the face I saw.
I know him.
Eyes watching me. Arms dragging me away from my sister.
All I can see now is the back of the kid walking toward the school, but I know for sure he was there that night. I recognize him from the warehouse. He’s one of them.
I start to breathe heavily, feeling like I can’t catch my breath. I take out my phone, fingers moving to call Dean as quick as possible. It rings as I hold it to my ear.
No answer. I get his voicemail.
“Dean? Hey, uh… it’s me. Look, I… don’t know why exactly I’m calling. It’s probably not a big deal. I… actually…”
I close my eyes, biting my lip. I know I shouldn’t play this off.
“Actually, it is a pretty big deal. I’m pretty sure I just saw someone… someone that was in the warehouse that night. And he’s walking into the school. Just, call me back if you can. I don’t know what to do. Okay, bye.”
I exhale a shaky breath, putting the phone back down into my lap. After a moment, I pick the phone back up again and dial another number.
“Cas?”
“Jas? Are you okay?”
“I, uh… not really. I’m kinda freaked out. I just saw someone at school. Someone that I… am pretty sure was in the warehouse. You know, the night that…”
Castiel doesn’t waste a second. “Are you at school?”
“Yeah, I’m still in my car—”
Instantly, Cas appears outside my car and gently knocks on the passenger window to be let into the car. I reach over and unlock his door (stupid classic car with no automatic features), and he sits in the passenger seat.
“You’re quick,” I tell him, smiling softly. I start to feel panicky, now that I have his presence beside me. The angel gives me a concerned, sympathetic look.
“You don’t have to go to school today. You can stay home. I can call and tell your teacher you’re not well.”
I shake my head, looking back down at my lap.
“No… I need to go in. This problem just isn’t going to go away after today. He’s a student here. I just have to avoid him.”
Cas furrows his brow. “Jas, I’m not sure you’ll be able to avoid him forever…”
My eyes start to well with tears.
“Good pep talk,” I say, smiling grimly.
He reaches out and places a hand on my shoulder, and I can see the regret in his eyes at what he said.
“I didn’t mean it like that. Just be careful, okay? Call me if anything strange happens.”
I nod. “I, uh… called Dean. No answer.”
Castiel sighs. “I’m sure he will call you back soon. In the meantime, I’ll be at the bunker if you need anything at all.”
I try for a genuine smile. “Thanks, Cas.”
Turning my gaze back toward the school, I mutter, “Time to be brave.”
Other than being the longest day of my life, I’m relieved that the school day passes by uneventfully. I don’t see the kid again, and I don’t stick around anywhere long enough to look for him.
I notice on the way to my last class that I have a missed call and a voicemail. From Dean.
~~~
Dean’s stomach drops guiltily when he finds his phone in the backseat, with a missed call and a voicemail from Jas.
“Ah, crap.”
Sam looks over his shoulder from the front seat, seeing Dean in the back holding his phone.
“What?”
“Must’a stuck my phone back here, and it’s on silent. Jas called like six hours ago. She left a voicemail.”
He places the phone by his ear to listen to it.
“Dean? Hey, uh… it’s me. Look, I… don’t know why exactly I’m calling. It’s probably not a big deal. I… actually… Actually, it is a pretty big deal. I’m pretty sure I just saw someone… someone that was in the warehouse that night. And he’s walking into the school. Just, call me back if you can. I don’t know what to do. Okay, bye.”
Dean lowers his phone, cursing under his breath.
Then he exclaims, “Crap!”
“What’d she say?” Sam asks, still looking back at him.
“There’s a kid at her school… she recognizes him from the warehouse.”
Sam furrows his brow. “What? He was there that night?”
Dean dials her number back and presses the phone to his ear again. His head is swirling with thoughts… if she went to class… so much time has passed, anything could have happened.
“I don’t know. I’m calling her back.”
~~~
“I’ll be right back. I gotta go to the bathroom,” Dean tells Sam, walking away.
After turning a corner, he stands next to the bathroom door and takes out his cell phone. Making sure no one can see him, he dials the number.
“This is John Winchester,” he hears. “If this is an emergency, call my son, Dean, at eight-six-six, nine-zero-seven, three-two-three-five.”
He inhales, not surprised that there was no answer, and leaves a voicemail out of desperation.
“Dad? I know I’ve left you messages before. I don’t even know if you’ll get ‘em. But I’m with Sam. And we’re in Lawrence. And there’s somethin’ in our old house. I don’t know if it’s the thing that killed Mom or not, but…. I don’t know what to do.”
Tears sting his eyes, and his lip begins to quiver. All he can do now is beg.
“So, whatever you’re doin’, if you could get here. Please. I need your help, Dad.”
~~~
When I get home from school, I toss my backpack down on the long table and sit down, sighing and rubbing my face. The only thing I want to do tonight is eat ice cream and lie around. I don’t want to think about anything, or be productive. I just want this day to be over.
Then I remember the stack of homework I have to get done before tomorrow. And then I remember I still need to call Dean.
I sink further into my chair, sighing even louder.
I remove my cell phone from my pocket and pull up my voicemail.
“Hey, kid. Call me back. I’m… I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I missed your call, I shouldn’t have… my phone was in the backseat, and it was on silent and… anyway, just let me know you’re okay. It’s all gonna be fine, kid. Just be smart and… and just call me back, okay?”
The message ends. I can feel desperation, and also the guilt, in his voice. All bitter feelings I have toward him melt away when I realize how distraught and worried he must be.
And I immediately starting dialing him back.
“Kid… don’t do that to me,” he says, skipping hello. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m home from school,” I reply. “I’m fine.”
“I was this close to turning around,” he says sternly. “Like I said, you freaked me out, there. So what happened?”
I take a deep breath. “Let me preface by just saying that I’m fine,” I quickly assure him.
“Real convincing.”
“I’m serious, Dean. All that happened was that I was pulling into the school parking lot, and I saw this kid. He was kinda looking over his shoulder, and I thought I recognized him. That’s all. He walked into the school, and I never saw him again after that.”
“Wait… you recognized him, or you thought you did?” Dean asks slowly, catching my certain phrasing.
“I don’t know, Dean. I might very well have imagined it, you know? I mean, I’ve never seen him at school before, and I didn’t see him for the rest of the day. You know how your mind can kinda make stuff up?”
I can practically feel the gears turning in his mind.
“You still need to be careful, kid. For you to recognize him… it might mean something. Especially if it’s more than just a familiar face. If you actually have a memory of him.”
I press my lips together, trying to be as calm as possible.
“I don’t remember very much from that night,” I say, trying not to lie but also trying not to give away the truth. But Dean presses.
“Do you remember that kid you saw?”
I close my eyes, sighing. I know I can’t sugar coat this.
“Um… yeah. I remember him dragging me away when they found me, tying me up. The whole time… he was whispering something to me. But that’s all I remember. I didn’t really hear what he said.”
Dean is quiet for a moment.
“Kid… sounds like this guy you saw is bad news. If you see him again, you walk, or run, in the opposite direction. You hear me?”
I look down at my lap, clenching my fist.
“Yeah. I hear you.”
“Look, uh… about this hunt. If you need me to come back, I think Sam would be fine on his own—”
“No,” I say sharply. “No, what you guys are doing is more important. Besides, it’s what I saw is probably nothing, anyway. It’s no big deal.”
“Jas…” Dean starts, in a much gentler tone than before. “It freaked you out. It’s clearly a big deal.”
I smile softly. “I’m dramatic. This isn’t news to you.”
“You’re really something else, kid. Look, if something happens, I just need you to be safe, and smart. Call Cas. Call me. Call a teacher, anyone. Promise.”
“I promise, Dean. I’m not stupid.”
“I know you’re not,” he tells me. “Just the most stubborn person I’ve ever met.”
I roll my eyes. “Be safe out there, okay? And try not to worry. You’re really starting to sound like… like a dad.”
I’m careful not to say my dad, but a dad, in an effort not to make it weird. And yet Dean is still silent for a few moments.
“Yeah, well, uh… yeah. Anyways… you’re keeping in touch. Check in with us like, hourly. At least during the day at school tomorrow. Okay? Or I’m coming home.”
I find another small smile. “Okay, dial back on the threats, okay? I’m fine, and I’ll be fine. I’ll keep in touch. Promise. Please don’t worry. I’m sorry for freaking you out. I didn’t mean to. I just didn’t know what to do.”
Dean exhales. “I’m glad you told me. Well figure it all out when we get back, okay?”
I nod, swallowing. “Okay, bye, lov—”
I cut myself off, growing embarrassed.
Dean clears his throat, and there’s no way he didn’t hear what I almost said.
the other day i started thinking my spn phase might be over. and then i saw a picture of sam winchester the next day and the hyperfixation hit me like a truck again
“For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill…” Dean is saying to Sam, “it just uh… it scares me sometimes.”
John strides into the room. “It shouldn’t. You did good, kid.”
“You’re not mad?” Dean asks, looking up in surprise.
“For what?” his father asks back. As if he doesn’t know. Dean bites back a scoff.
“Using a bullet.”
“Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you… you watch out for this family. You always have.”
Dean looks down. “Thanks,” he finally murmurs.
Just then, the lights begin to flicker, and a gush of wind picks up in the room. The three of them approach the window.
“It found us,” says their father. “It’s here.”
“The demon?” asks Sam in a hushed tone.
John doesn’t answer. “Sam, lines of salt in front of every window, every door.”
“I already did it—”
“Well, check it, okay?”
As Sam leaves, their father turns to Dean.
“Dean, you got the gun?” When Dean affirms this, John looks closer at him.
“Give it to me.”
He hesitantly begins to remove the Colt from his jeans. “Dad… Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared.”
The pieces are slowly starting to click into place, and he is realizing that the last thing he wants to do is hand the gun over.
“This is me,” his father assures him. “I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry.”
Dean goes still, looking down at the Colt, causing John to grow a bit desperate.
“Son, please…” But Dean begins backing up a couple of steps after a few moments. “Give me the gun. What are you doing, Dean?”
“He’d be furious,” Dean finds himself muttering.
John blinks. “What?”
“That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me. He’d tear me a new one.”
He set his features, aiming the Colt at his father and cocking it quickly.
“You’re not my dad.”
~~~
“Do you think he would be proud of me?”
My question comes suddenly, practically out of the blue, as I sat at the table, finishing some math homework, and I saw Dean walking by, out of the corner of my eye. He stops dead in his tracks, as clearly the question has caught him off guard.
He doesn’t even have to ask who I’m talking about. It’s almost like he has anticipated me to ask this.
“Yeah, kid. Yeah, I do.”
“Really? Because… I don’t know. I’m just not sure. I think he would… expect more from me.”
Dean furrows his brow, and take a step closer to me. I can tell he wants to change my opinion.
“Nah, you can’t think like that. If your dad loved you as much as you say he did, he only would have wanted the best for you. And what’s best right now is that you… keep carrying on. Which is exactly what you’re doing.”
I look down, picking at my fingers in my lap.
“I don’t know. His expectations were so high. I’m the oldest. I was supposed to do everything. Take all the opportunities. And now I’m lucky if I just make it to class on time.”
Dean finally sits down next to me, exhaling.
“Look, Jas. Given everything that has happened? I think you’re… well, you’re doing fantastic. Learning to drive, keeping up with school, all of it. I mean, you’re even taking care of me and Sam, and we haven’t even asked you to. But more than anything else? You’re being brave. You’re not giving up. Just coming to live here took some guts, right? And maybe I don’t know your dad like you did, but I would think that’s more than enough. You’re a good kid. Don’t sell yourself short. If I… if I were your dad… I’d be proud, for sure.”
The last words seem to even catch Dean by surprise as they leave his mouth. But it causes a wide smile to cross my lips.
“Really? You mean that?”
“Yeah,” he admits. “I do.”
I sit back in my chair, still smiling to myself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it so deep,” I say, slightly teasing. “But thanks. I, uh… needed to hear that.”
“Look, none of this is a bad thing. At all. I just think it would be helpful for you to see the similarities between you and her. Might help you figure out how to handle some things. That’s all.”
Dean starts to get a faraway look, before clearing his throat and nodding.
“Yeah. I get it. Anytime, kid.”
~~~
The first time I ever thought I was in trouble at the bunker, it’s one of the scariest moments of my life: facing the wrath of Dean Winchester.
He finds me at the shooting range, by myself. To be fair, I’m not handling a gun. I’m not even near one. I’m just looking at the targets and snooping in general. Looking, not touching. That’s the important part.
“What are you doing down here?” he demands, making me jump with his booming voice, and I can see his eyes alight with anger before he even meets my gaze.
“I, uh… I just wanted to…”
“You’re not allowed down here,” he says before I can finish. “I’m serious. It’s not for kids. There’s a lot of seriously dangerous stuff down here.”
“Dean, I know what a gun is. I’m not four. And I didn’t even touch anything! I wasn’t going to. I was just looking.”
“Yeah, well, it’s still dangerous to even be up here. Upstairs, now.”
His angry growl puts a pep in my step, not wanting to get in any more trouble. I hurry up the stairs, knowing he’s still on my tail, and when we finally get to the main floor, I turn to face him, still wanting to defend my case.
“For the record, you never said I couldn’t go down to the shooting range. I didn’t touch anything, I swear, Dean. I didn’t mess anything up. I’m not stupid.”
His face is still set as he looks at me, and his jaw ticks.
“I know you’re a smart kid. But you don’t always act like it. If you wanted to go down there, you should have at least asked. You knew what was down there. Don’t think I don’t know what you were trying to do.”
I cross my arms, pouting.
“Whatever. If you don’t want me to go down there so bad, you should put a baby gate up, or something,” I say in a biting tone. “Should I go sit in time-out now?”
I regret the words as soon as I say them. His response is calm, but stern.
“If I really wanted to punish you, I’d take away your car. And I wasn’t going to, but you’re forcing my hand. Acting like a baby. You’re pitching a fit, Jas.”
I look down, sighing and blinking back tears.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked. Didn’t realize that I’m still a child. You didn’t have to flip out on me. Take away my car if you want, I don’t care. I’m going to my room.”
“Kid—”
But I’m gone before he can finish. I get to my bedroom and throw myself down on the bed, sitting there with teary eyes, fists clenched in anger.
It’s the first time I’ve ever considered running away. The thought of being treated like an actual adult is tempting, to say the least.
And yet, deep down, I know that being out on my own is the scariest outcome of all.
It’s about an hour before there’s a knock on my door.
“Hey, Jas? It’s Sam.”
This catches my attention. It’s not who I expected. The only explanation I can think of is that Dean sent his brother in here to smooth things over, which irritates me.
“Come in,” I finally say, and hear the knob turn. Sam enters the room, approaching my bed in trepidation.
“So, I, uh… heard what happened earlier. And I’m not coming in here to pick sides, or whatever. Just to check on you.”
This earns a small smile from me – a genuine one, at least.
“Can I be honest?” I ask after a few beats, the desire to share the truth with him becoming unavoidable.
His gaze softens with a sincere curiosity. “Yeah, of course.”
I rub my hand over my left arm thoughtfully. “I, uh… had the urge to run away. For the first time, ever since coming here.”
Sam raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
I can see worry start to etch itself into his facial features.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to. Like I keep saying, I’m not stupid. But… I’m just tired of being treated like a kid. I’ve been through too much to keep having to prove that. For a second, it seemed easier to be on my own, where people would take me seriously.”
Sam closes his lips into a thin line.
“You know, that’s a completely normal thing to feel. You shouldn’t feel bad for thinking that. Or guilty. I mean, of course I would want to convince you to stay. We both would. But it’s also fine to want your own life. You know that, right?”
I nod, inhaling. “Yeah. I knew you’d understand.”
He starts to smile. “Trust me, I had my own share of teenage angst. There were so many times I wanted to up and leave, growing up. But I had to stick it out. Lucky for you, you only have a year, technically.”
I meet his eyes, taken aback.
“Wait… you really wanted to run away, too?”
He scoffs. “Yeah. Loads of times. But I knew I couldn’t do that to Dean. So I waited until I was ready for college. And it was good that I waited. I was ready by then.”
I nod, taking this in and processing it.
“Dean doesn’t seem to get that, does he?”
Sam gives a knowing smile.
“Nah. He’s not wired like that. He’s loyal. And honestly? I think it’s because family is so important to him. And that’s why I think he went off the deep end, earlier. He thinks of you as… well, as our kid. And he saw you in danger, so he overreacted.”
I’m quiet for a moment, realizing the truth to Sam’s words. It makes sense.
“So… you really did come in here to smooth things over between us.”
He chuckles at my comment.
“Come on. You know I had to try. The tension is so thick in here.”
I finally manage a smile.
“Well, I agree with you. I think he got upset because he does care. And I’ll admit… we both kinda overreacted.” Sam gives a satisfied smirk.
“Yeah. I’m sure. But Dean should have handled it better. I talked to him and he feels really bad about what he said earlier. If you decide you, uh, want to talk to Dean, he’s cooled down, now. He’s in the library.”
I nod, looking down. “Be down in a sec.”
Sam stands from my bed and moves to leave, but I stop him before he can.
“And Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. I’m glad to know we have stuff in common, you know? Someone who understands.”
His eyes sparkle, and he nods. “Yeah. Me too, kid. You can always talk to me about stuff, you know.”
“Yeah, I know that, now.”
~~~
My steps are a bit cautious and unsure as I descend the stairs into the library, but when I see Dean sitting at his laptop, with some books near him and a confused expression on his face, my nervousness fades away.
“Hi,” I finally say, approaching where he sits. He looks up, not having heard me come in.
“Oh, hey, kid,” he says, clearing his throat uncomfortably.
It’s silent between us before he pipes up quickly,
“Look, I, uh… have something I need to… say.”
I raise my eyebrows, but I don’t force him to go on.
“I need to say something, too. I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. I was being a brat. I never do that.”
“No, I’m the one that’s sorry, kid. I should never have gotten that upset at you. You didn’t even do anything wrong. I guess I just…”
“Care,” I say, looking at him with a knowing smirk. Dean rubs his shoulder, clearly sheepish.
“Yeah. That’s it,” he admits. “I just saw you down there, and my only thought was that you could have gotten hurt. I wasn’t thinking. So I’m sorry.”
I nod, accepting his apology. But he continues, unexpectedly.
“Can I ask you something, though?”
I bite the inside of my lip, nodding again. “Yeah…”
“Was it more than just you exploring down there? I can’t help but think there was more to it. And I would get it if you wanted to learn how to defend yourself. Does that happen to have anything to do with it?”
I look down, realizing that he is onto me.
“Yeah, you’re right. I just keep thinking that if something like that ever happens to me again… even if I had a gun, I wouldn’t know what to do to protect myself. And I don’t want to always depend on everyone else. I want to be able to take care of myself.”
Dean nods stoically, and I can tell that he understands.
“That makes sense, kid. I get it, I do. How about this, then? I’ll take you down there and give you a proper gun safety course. We’ll practice the basics and I’ll show you how to shoot. After a few lessons, you’ll be good and prepared. Sound good?”
My face lights up. “Really? You’d do that?”
“Of course,” he tells me. “I’d rather you learn from me than try and figure it out on your own, anyway.”
I frown. “Right. Okay. That actually sounds great.”
He looks around the room, before slapping his legs and standing from his seat.
“Well, what are we waiting for? I’ve got some free time right now.”
hi guys :))) i finally decided to update my ao3 user to spn lol. used to be starks_children on ao3 and now i am impalastiel. here's the link and it's been added to my pinned post too if ya want to check it out :)) i'll be adding more fics soon !!
characters: dean winchester, sam winchester, teenage!original character
trigger/content warnings: mention of violence/weapons
~~~
“For you or Dad, the things I’m willing to do or kill…” Dean is saying to Sam, “it just uh… it scares me sometimes.”
John strides into the room. “It shouldn’t. You did good, kid.”
“You’re not mad?” Dean asks, looking up in surprise.
“For what?” his father asks back. As if he doesn’t know. Dean bites back a scoff.
“Using a bullet.”
“Mad? I’m proud of you. You know, Sam and I, we can get pretty obsessed. But you… you watch out for this family. You always have.”
Dean looks down. “Thanks,” he finally murmurs.
Just then, the lights begin to flicker, and a gush of wind picks up in the room. The three of them approach the window.
“It found us,” says their father. “It’s here.”
“The demon?” asks Sam in a hushed tone.
John doesn’t answer. “Sam, lines of salt in front of every window, every door.”
“I already did it—”
“Well, check it, okay?”
As Sam leaves, their father turns to Dean.
“Dean, you got the gun?” When Dean affirms this, John looks closer at him.
“Give it to me.”
He hesitantly begins to remove the Colt from his jeans. “Dad… Sam tried to shoot the demon in Salvation. It disappeared.”
The pieces are slowly starting to click into place, and he is realizing that the last thing he wants to do is hand the gun over.
“This is me,” his father assures him. “I won’t miss. Now, the gun, hurry.”
Dean goes still, looking down at the Colt, causing John to grow a bit desperate.
“Son, please…” But Dean begins backing up a couple of steps after a few moments. “Give me the gun. What are you doing, Dean?”
“He’d be furious,” Dean finds himself muttering.
John blinks. “What?”
“That I wasted a bullet. He wouldn’t be proud of me. He’d tear me a new one.”
He set his features, aiming the Colt at his father and cocking it quickly.
“You’re not my dad.”
~~~
“Do you think he would be proud of me?”
My question comes suddenly, practically out of the blue, as I sat at the table, finishing some math homework, and I saw Dean walking by, out of the corner of my eye. He stops dead in his tracks, as clearly the question has caught him off guard.
He doesn’t even have to ask who I’m talking about. It’s almost like he has anticipated me to ask this.
“Yeah, kid. Yeah, I do.”
“Really? Because… I don’t know. I’m just not sure. I think he would… expect more from me.”
Dean furrows his brow, and take a step closer to me. I can tell he wants to change my opinion.
“Nah, you can’t think like that. If your dad loved you as much as you say he did, he only would have wanted the best for you. And what’s best right now is that you… keep carrying on. Which is exactly what you’re doing.”
I look down, picking at my fingers in my lap.
“I don’t know. His expectations were so high. I’m the oldest. I was supposed to do everything. Take all the opportunities. And now I’m lucky if I just make it to class on time.”
Dean finally sits down next to me, exhaling.
“Look, Jas. Given everything that has happened? I think you’re… well, you’re doing fantastic. Learning to drive, keeping up with school, all of it. I mean, you’re even taking care of me and Sam, and we haven’t even asked you to. But more than anything else? You’re being brave. You’re not giving up. Just coming to live here took some guts, right? And maybe I don’t know your dad like you did, but I would think that’s more than enough. You’re a good kid. Don’t sell yourself short. If I… if I were your dad… I’d be proud, for sure.”
The last words seem to even catch Dean by surprise as they leave his mouth. But it causes a wide smile to cross my lips.
“Really? You mean that?”
“Yeah,” he admits. “I do.”
I sit back in my chair, still smiling to myself.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to make it so deep,” I say, slightly teasing. “But thanks. I, uh… needed to hear that.”
“Look, none of this is a bad thing. At all. I just think it would be helpful for you to see the similarities between you and her. Might help you figure out how to handle some things. That’s all.”
Dean starts to get a faraway look, before clearing his throat and nodding.
“Yeah. I get it. Anytime, kid.”
~~~
The first time I ever thought I was in trouble at the bunker, it’s one of the scariest moments of my life: facing the wrath of Dean Winchester.
He finds me at the shooting range, by myself. To be fair, I’m not handling a gun. I’m not even near one. I’m just looking at the targets and snooping in general. Looking, not touching. That’s the important part.
“What are you doing down here?” he demands, making me jump with his booming voice, and I can see his eyes alight with anger before he even meets my gaze.
“I, uh… I just wanted to…”
“You’re not allowed down here,” he says before I can finish. “I’m serious. It’s not for kids. There’s a lot of seriously dangerous stuff down here.”
“Dean, I know what a gun is. I’m not four. And I didn’t even touch anything! I wasn’t going to. I was just looking.”
“Yeah, well, it’s still dangerous to even be up here. Upstairs, now.”
His angry growl puts a pep in my step, not wanting to get in any more trouble. I hurry up the stairs, knowing he’s still on my tail, and when we finally get to the main floor, I turn to face him, still wanting to defend my case.
“For the record, you never said I couldn’t go down to the shooting range. I didn’t touch anything, I swear, Dean. I didn’t mess anything up. I’m not stupid.”
His face is still set as he looks at me, and his jaw ticks.
“I know you’re a smart kid. But you don’t always act like it. If you wanted to go down there, you should have at least asked. You knew what was down there. Don’t think I don’t know what you were trying to do.”
I cross my arms, pouting.
“Whatever. If you don’t want me to go down there so bad, you should put a baby gate up, or something,” I say in a biting tone. “Should I go sit in time-out now?”
I regret the words as soon as I say them. His response is calm, but stern.
“If I really wanted to punish you, I’d take away your car. And I wasn’t going to, but you’re forcing my hand. Acting like a baby. You’re pitching a fit, Jas.”
I look down, sighing and blinking back tears.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked. Didn’t realize that I’m still a child. You didn’t have to flip out on me. Take away my car if you want, I don’t care. I’m going to my room.”
“Kid—”
But I’m gone before he can finish. I get to my bedroom and throw myself down on the bed, sitting there with teary eyes, fists clenched in anger.
It’s the first time I’ve ever considered running away. The thought of being treated like an actual adult is tempting, to say the least.
And yet, deep down, I know that being out on my own is the scariest outcome of all.
It’s about an hour before there’s a knock on my door.
“Hey, Jas? It’s Sam.”
This catches my attention. It’s not who I expected. The only explanation I can think of is that Dean sent his brother in here to smooth things over, which irritates me.
“Come in,” I finally say, and hear the knob turn. Sam enters the room, approaching my bed in trepidation.
“So, I, uh… heard what happened earlier. And I’m not coming in here to pick sides, or whatever. Just to check on you.”
This earns a small smile from me – a genuine one, at least.
“Can I be honest?” I ask after a few beats, the desire to share the truth with him becoming unavoidable.
His gaze softens with a sincere curiosity. “Yeah, of course.”
I rub my hand over my left arm thoughtfully. “I, uh… had the urge to run away. For the first time, ever since coming here.”
Sam raises his eyebrows. “Really?”
I can see worry start to etch itself into his facial features.
“Don’t worry, I’m not going to. Like I keep saying, I’m not stupid. But… I’m just tired of being treated like a kid. I’ve been through too much to keep having to prove that. For a second, it seemed easier to be on my own, where people would take me seriously.”
Sam closes his lips into a thin line.
“You know, that’s a completely normal thing to feel. You shouldn’t feel bad for thinking that. Or guilty. I mean, of course I would want to convince you to stay. We both would. But it’s also fine to want your own life. You know that, right?”
I nod, inhaling. “Yeah. I knew you’d understand.”
He starts to smile. “Trust me, I had my own share of teenage angst. There were so many times I wanted to up and leave, growing up. But I had to stick it out. Lucky for you, you only have a year, technically.”
I meet his eyes, taken aback.
“Wait… you really wanted to run away, too?”
He scoffs. “Yeah. Loads of times. But I knew I couldn’t do that to Dean. So I waited until I was ready for college. And it was good that I waited. I was ready by then.”
I nod, taking this in and processing it.
“Dean doesn’t seem to get that, does he?”
Sam gives a knowing smile.
“Nah. He’s not wired like that. He’s loyal. And honestly? I think it’s because family is so important to him. And that’s why I think he went off the deep end, earlier. He thinks of you as… well, as our kid. And he saw you in danger, so he overreacted.”
I’m quiet for a moment, realizing the truth to Sam’s words. It makes sense.
“So… you really did come in here to smooth things over between us.”
He chuckles at my comment.
“Come on. You know I had to try. The tension is so thick in here.”
I finally manage a smile.
“Well, I agree with you. I think he got upset because he does care. And I’ll admit… we both kinda overreacted.” Sam gives a satisfied smirk.
“Yeah. I’m sure. But Dean should have handled it better. I talked to him and he feels really bad about what he said earlier. If you decide you, uh, want to talk to Dean, he’s cooled down, now. He’s in the library.”
I nod, looking down. “Be down in a sec.”
Sam stands from my bed and moves to leave, but I stop him before he can.
“And Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Thanks. I’m glad to know we have stuff in common, you know? Someone who understands.”
His eyes sparkle, and he nods. “Yeah. Me too, kid. You can always talk to me about stuff, you know.”
“Yeah, I know that, now.”
~~~
My steps are a bit cautious and unsure as I descend the stairs into the library, but when I see Dean sitting at his laptop, with some books near him and a confused expression on his face, my nervousness fades away.
“Hi,” I finally say, approaching where he sits. He looks up, not having heard me come in.
“Oh, hey, kid,” he says, clearing his throat uncomfortably.
It’s silent between us before he pipes up quickly,
“Look, I, uh… have something I need to… say.”
I raise my eyebrows, but I don’t force him to go on.
“I need to say something, too. I’m sorry for how I acted earlier. I was being a brat. I never do that.”
“No, I’m the one that’s sorry, kid. I should never have gotten that upset at you. You didn’t even do anything wrong. I guess I just…”
“Care,” I say, looking at him with a knowing smirk. Dean rubs his shoulder, clearly sheepish.
“Yeah. That’s it,” he admits. “I just saw you down there, and my only thought was that you could have gotten hurt. I wasn’t thinking. So I’m sorry.”
I nod, accepting his apology. But he continues, unexpectedly.
“Can I ask you something, though?”
I bite the inside of my lip, nodding again. “Yeah…”
“Was it more than just you exploring down there? I can’t help but think there was more to it. And I would get it if you wanted to learn how to defend yourself. Does that happen to have anything to do with it?”
I look down, realizing that he is onto me.
“Yeah, you’re right. I just keep thinking that if something like that ever happens to me again… even if I had a gun, I wouldn’t know what to do to protect myself. And I don’t want to always depend on everyone else. I want to be able to take care of myself.”
Dean nods stoically, and I can tell that he understands.
“That makes sense, kid. I get it, I do. How about this, then? I’ll take you down there and give you a proper gun safety course. We’ll practice the basics and I’ll show you how to shoot. After a few lessons, you’ll be good and prepared. Sound good?”
My face lights up. “Really? You’d do that?”
“Of course,” he tells me. “I’d rather you learn from me than try and figure it out on your own, anyway.”
I frown. “Right. Okay. That actually sounds great.”
He looks around the room, before slapping his legs and standing from his seat.
“Well, what are we waiting for? I’ve got some free time right now.”
