𝚆𝙸𝙻𝙳 𝚃𝙴𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁.

𝐈   𝐀𝐌   𝐌𝐀𝐃𝐄   𝐎𝐅   𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒   𝐀𝐍𝐃   𝐎𝐏𝐄𝐍   𝐒𝐊𝐈𝐄𝐒   —   𝐃𝐎   𝐍𝐎𝐓   𝐀𝐒𝐊   𝐌𝐄   𝐓𝐎   𝐁𝐄   𝐒𝐌𝐀𝐋𝐋.

[softglws]

━━     ˊ     *        # 𝚜𝚘𝚏𝚝𝚐𝚕𝚠𝚜. is    a dependent    muse    blog    written    for    SEDONAROLEPLAY   ,    adored    by    𝒥  (    thirty1    ,    est    ,    she    /    her    )    .    this    blog    may    contain    mature    content ,    so    please be    warned    . 

⸺    sanem   “  san / sana  ”  demir   : information    ,    pinterest. ⸺    lake   “  lala  ”  sheridan    : information    ,    pinterest.

[softglws]

it was later than she'd meant for it to be by the time lake pulled into the station parking lot. truthfully, she hadn't really been planning on coming here. she also hadn't really been planning on going home. home meant sitting alone with her thoughts. thinking about hank. about her dad. about caroline. about the conversation with dre that still replayed in her head no matter how hard she tried to shake it. every time she'd convinced herself to turn toward southpoint, she'd somehow found another road to take instead. the diner had just happened to be one of them, and now she stood outside the station with a takeout bag balanced in one hand, staring at the bay doors for a second longer than necessary. she told herself she was just checking on nathan. that was easier than admitting she didn't really know what to do with herself tonight. taking a quiet breath, she nudged the door open with her hip. " if anyone asks, " lake announced as she stepped inside, lifting the bag a little higher, " this is completely accidental and i am absolutely not copin' with the dead of my father by feedin' other people. " the joke landed a little flatter than usual. her eyes found nathan almost, and despite everything tangled up inside her lately, her expression softened on instinct. he looked tired. not the kind of tired that disappeared after a good night's sleep. " i stopped at the diner, " she said, walking over. " and ordered way too much food. apparently i make questionable financial decisions when i'm emotionally compromised, who would'a thought! " a small smile tugged at the corner of her mouth and set the bag down beside him. the smell of burgers and fresh fries drifted between them as she pulled her hands back, suddenly unsure what to do with them. she shoved them into the pockets of her hoodie instead. " anyway! " she added with a small shrug and a chipper, almost too forced of a smile, " i figured if i was gonna wander around town trying to avoid my own brain, i might as well make sure somebody actually ate dinner. "

at sedona fire department, around 10:15pm, with nathan meyer.

[georgiaxwhitaker]

starter for @sedonastart (cap at 2)

location: public library

Georgia Whitaker could think of worse ways to spend an afternoon than getting lost between shelves of the local library. A friend had recommended a novel and she had every intent of getting it, but somewhere between looking for that book and the librarian's recommendation, she had come to accept she was leaving with more books than she had planned on leaving with. Again.

She rested two books against her chest while her eyes scanned the lengths of another shelf. She pulled one free, reading the back quietly to herself before returning it to its rightful place on the shelf. Her gaze flickering to someone standing a few feet away, the corners of her lips tugged upward into a warm smile. She got the feeling they were just as undecided as she was about what book to take. "Are you looking for something specific or are you hoping a book finds you instead, like me?"

[softglws]

sanem's attention lingers on the spine of a well-loved field guide tucked between novels she'd already convinced herself she didn't need. libraries had always been dangerous for her in the same way feed stores were — she never seemed capable of leaving with only what she'd come for. by the time she'd wandered into this aisle, the small stack balanced against her hip had already grown from one book to four. the familiar voice draws her attention away from the shelf, and the sight of georgia earns an easy smile. " little bit of both, " she admits, glancing down at the collection in her arms before looking back at her friend. " i came in looking for a book on native grasses and somehow i've ended up in historical fiction. " a sheepish laugh escapes her as she tips one of the books forward with her thumb. " i've decided bookstores and libraries have the same effect on me. i walk in with a plan, and then a book looks at me funny and suddenly it's coming home. " her gaze drifts briefly to the titles tucked beneath georgia's arm, curiosity brightening her expression. " i guess you're having about the same amount of luck? " the question hangs between them as sanem reaches out to straighten a book someone had pushed back onto the shelf crookedly, the small habit almost absentminded. she smiles to herself before looking back at georgia. " although ... " her head tilts thoughtfully. " i've learned the books that find you are usually the ones you end up thinking about the longest once you've finish them. "

[carolinefster]

"If you think this is what I wear at a nightclub, you're dead wrong. I wouldn't have a bra on. But this look is for your father. He always mentioned how red made my cheeks pop. He always said that he could make me flush and I let him believe that for the first few years. Poor Bastard." Caroline shook her head while she peered past her girls towards the casket. Sure, she's aware that red isn't the typical color for these kinds of things but she isn't here to conform and anyone who knows her— or in the least, remembers her — wouldn't expect any different from the blonde.

There isn't any surprise at Summer's tone, or the grasp on her younger daughter's arm. Caroline's smile doesn't waver because she's just pleased to see the both of them and how much they've grown since she left those many years ago. Maybe in some deluded state she thought that she'd receive a warmer welcome. Perhaps that the height of grief would soften the blow of her reappearance in town and they would just appreciate that she was here so they could lean into her for consolation.

But of course not. Nothing ever worked out right for Caroline.

"Who cares about half this town. They'll make up their own rumors either way." That much she remembered. Always at the centre of some kind of gossip about something she'd done wrong or how she wasn't the typical stay at home mom with two children under her arms.

"But one thing is certain. You'll always be my girls whether you want to accept that or not. Your father took pictures of you coming out of me and I'm sure I can pull them out of that old house." Of course she'd checked on the property first thing. It was worse than she'd expected and but he'd kept everything like she figured he would have. "You girls were big. Barely had any hair on your head and you screamed so loud. I feel feel the stitches I got for the both of you. And you," her finger wavers towards Summer, "—you almost tore me in half. Luckily the stretch marks aren't as visible but I've got a right to call you my girls."

At the discomfort of her youngest daughter, and the fact that the room had gone silent and most eyes were on them, Caroline gave everyone a shrill look. "Don't you guys have something better to look at?" Her gaze ran over the room until it fell upon a red haired woman in the distance. She'd aged up to look twice Caroline's age despite them actually being a few months apart, and the smile that came upon her features was one of pure bliss. That alone made her entire day.

But also because they'd once been coworkers. After finding out of her second pregnancy, she could remember Clancy calling her a whore and horrible mother.

"If you want something to talk about. How about the fact that Clancy and her husband swing every other night. Though, doesn't he prefer to be the cuck these days?"

A bold faced lie but nothing was as sweet as revenge.

"Come on girls. We've given them enough." Caroline reaches up to, quite literally, flip her hair over her shoulder before she moves to the back door and steps out with the full certitude that her girls would follow.

[sunbleachcd]

As memory after memory replayed in her mind, Summer could feel her jaw tighten with every word the older woman spoke. As a baby, she may have not been wise enough to finish the job. But as a thirty-five-year-old woman, she had no problem tearing her mother in two if the situation called for it.

Lake's discomfort was plain to see and while as her protector, Summer's mind had been elsewhere, there was at least part of her that wished she had better prepared for this. Not only could they have chatted one-on-one before being thrown into the depths of hell, but maybe she could have planned an appropriate response.

Reluctantly, she followed the women towards the back of the funeral home, catching the eye of every bystander who'd overheard one of her or Caroline's outbursts. It was embarrassing to think that she could be related to someone who had such little self-awareness, but as every unfiltered thought left their mother's mind, she found herself wanting to match the woman's energy in tenfold. There was no beating around the bush with someone like her. She was going to be direct, whether Lake liked it or not.

As the door closed shut behind them, Summer leaned herself back against the building's exterior, a bead of sweat already causing her brow to glisten as she breathed through her feelings of anger.

"Listen, Caroline. I can't tell you to leave. I can't stop you from mourning or wanting to pay your respects. But if you think you can waltz back into our lives after two decades and expect us to show you an ounce of warmth, you're even crazier than I remember. You made the choice to leave Sedona... To leave us. And never once have you reached out over the years. You knew what kind of a person he was becoming, and you still left us with him." Summer's voice cracked as she spoke, heartbreak peaking through her rage. "You have no idea the things I gave up to get us out of there. So stop acting like you know us, or like you've done a single thing to contribute to who we are today. I'm happy to be nothing like you."

[softglws]

the walk to the backyard is painfully quiet. for once, lake doesn't crack another joke. not because she doesn't have one, but because she knows anything she says right now will either make summer angrier or encourage caroline further. somehow, she's already exhausted from trying to stand between two forces of nature. so she lets summer speak. every word, every accusation, every sacrifice she'd carried for two decades finally given a voice. lake doesn't interrupt once because none of it is untrue. by the time summer finishes, lake finds herself staring down at the grass beneath her feet, absentmindedly rubbing the side of her thumb with her fingertip. she lets the silence settle between the three of them before finally lifting her gaze. it lands on caroline. not with anger, nor with forgiveness. just curiosity. her eyes linger on the woman standing in front of her, searching for something she can't quite name. something familiar. something that makes sense. " you keep callin' us your girls. " her voice remains calm, almost gentle. " but ... you don't know us. " she pauses, letting the words breathe, and where summer leans on her anger to get her through, lake attempts to do the same, but all she feels is hurt and confusion and instability, which makes tears begin to prick at the corner of her eyes. " you don't know my favourite colour. you don't know that summer still cuts the crusts off my grilled cheese because the crust is always fuckin' gross and dry. " a tiny smile flickers across her face before disappearing just as quickly. " you don't know i hate mushrooms. you don't know i cry durin' stupid dog movies. you don't know where i work, who my friends are, or what my life looks like. " her throat tightens. " you don't even know who i've become. who we've become. and let me tell you, we're pretty fuckin' great, all things considered. " the words hang in the warm afternoon air. there's no bitterness in them, only sadness where all of them have missed out on something important in their lives. lake folds her arms loosely across herself and looks away for just a moment before finding the courage to meet caroline's eyes again. " i wanted you to come back. " the confession surprises even her. " i really did. i don't know why. " she exhales softly before allowing another quiet laugh escapes her. " i think some part of me just wanted proof that ... that we mattered enough for you to come back. " lake reaches for summer's hand, her fingers slipping instinctively between her sister's. home. comfort. certainty. " i don't hate you, " she admits quietly. " i don't think i ever really got the chance to. but, i don't know you, either. " she gives a small shake of her head. " no matter what happens after today ... " her eyes never leave caroline's. " ... she's the one who raised me. she's the one who stayed. and that's goin' to be somethin' you gotta respect. "

[nextchaptcrs]

To be honest, Elliott would be having a lot for more fun if he was actually with Juniper and Allison, who'd arrived for a surprise visit. But seeing as it was the first time the girl's mother visited after the move to Sedona, he figured they needed some time alone to really talk about all the changes. And maybe be free to complain about him too, since Juniper also seemed to be entering the stage where kids are annoyed by their parents most of the time. So he had to ditch every activity he had planned for the both of them and was indeed a bit lost amongst everyone else.

Until he saw Lake approaching him and rolled his eyes, knowing he was about to have a lot of things to do and take care of. It was wild to him that now Lake was the one babysitting his kid, because he still saw her as the little girl who loved to give him trouble. "Listen, I'll have you know that I'm the parent, so I dragged her out of the house. That little girl has no control over me." He chuckled, knowing damn well how much of a lie that last part was. The reply was quick, since he figured he only had whatever time it took her to sip her drink. "Oh, God. C'mon, Lake!" He covered his entire face with his hands, but unable to completely hide the redness in his cheeks. "It's not like I had a choice, this is the official bisexual dad look, I'm afraid. And it looks nice. It's my first Sedona pride in a long ass time, so it's only fair that I make a little effort. I thought you'd be ecstatic!"

[softglws]

lake's laughter is immediate. loud enough that a couple people nearby glance over before returning to the festivities. " oh my god. " she points at him, nearly spilling her drink in the process. " you admitted it! " her grin somehow grows wider. " you actually called them the official bisexual dad look. " laughing hard, she presses a hand dramatically against her chest. " i never thought i'd see the day. " shaking her head, she takes another sip before looking him up and down again with exaggerated scrutiny. " no, no ... " she muses thoughtfully. " you're right. " she gives a small pause. " they're working for you. " another pause, this time even more playful, but happy. " do you feel bonita? " she asks, teasing him with a shimmy shake of her shoulders. " how many people have already told you the jorts are cute today? " then she nudges him lightly with her shoulder. " i'm actually very proud of you. genuinely. " she gestures around them, taking in the rainbow flags, music, and crowds filling the streets. " and i'm glad your first pride in a long ass time is back is here. " then, naturally, she ruins the sincerity. " but if you start wearing jorts on, like, ... a random tuesday? " she points a warning finger at him. " i'm staging an intervention and juniper will absolutely help me. " the mention of his daughter brightens her expression even more. " speaking of my favourite tiny blonde menace ... " her brows lift. " where is she? " lake glances around the crowd instinctively, half expecting juniper to appear from behind a booth with glitter on her face and three new temporary tattoos. " i was gonna teach her how to line dance. "

[carlsonyoungs-a]

hande ercel via instagram

[world-of-celebrities]

Michelle Randolph

[respairs]

⸺DARIUS CARTER.

Darius catches the gaze of another one of his father’s friends. Despite the airpods in his ears and him talking aloud being the obvious sign that he’s on the phone, there are those who still like to strike up conversations, and this guy was one of them. Sanem’s offer of kicking people out is sounding better by the minute. 

DARIUS: “Tempting offer, but it’s not necessary, at least not yet.” 

With a few gestures and being quick on his feet, Darius makes his way back into the house. Avoiding the pickets of visitors gathered he heads upstairs to his childhood bedroom. 

DARIUS: “Neither of those are a bad idea. I believe dad is leaning towards the community centre, but for the church’s family day festivities, Demir land will be perfect.” 

The open air setup would definitely suit that type of church activity. It’s in just a few weeks, and wouldn’t be too much of a rush to prepare. 

DARIUS: “I would appreciate your help on this.”

[softglws]

sanem lets out a quiet hum of approval at that, leaning back against the side of her truck as she watches the remains of the chapel from where she stands. sanem: “ see? now you're talking. ” there's a faint smile in her voice, small but genuine. sanem: “ family day on the ranch sounds a whole lot better than trying to cram everyone into a building right now anyway. we've got the space. parking, too. and if the church crowd gets bored, i can always unleash the goats on them. ” the joke lands softly before she grows a little more serious, her gaze drifts toward the dark silhouette of the chapel again. sanem: “ honestly, darius, we'd be happy to do it. ” and she means it. the demirs have always opened their gates when people needed somewhere to gather. weddings, fundraisers, community events, bad years, good years. this feels no different. sanem: “ whatever you need. tables, setup, cleanup, people directing traffic. just tell me where to be and i'll make sure we have hands there. ” a small pause follows. sanem: “ ... i know it won't replace this. but maybe it helps carry people through until you figure out what comes next. ” for a moment, she can hear the muffled sounds of voices through his phone again. people coming and going. grieving in the only way communities know how. then, gently: sanem: “ and maybe it'll give your dad something else to focus on besides staring at what's missing. ”

[respairs]

⸺DARIUS CARTER. featuring LAKE SHERIDAN at PRIDE IN THE DESERT;

Caroline Foster– the epitome of here for a short time, not a long time. After the years kept passing by, he never thought Caroline would return to Sedona. As a parent he could never picture leaving his children, Micah and Luna behind. If anything he would take them with him, but not everyone is capable of making decisions which put others before themselves; even if the others are the person’s offspring.

Darius was just getting over the sight of the blonde and her eye-catching dancing among other patrons when he spotted Lake. The recent death in the Sheridan girl’s lives made him stop everything once he heard. Darius and his mom visited with food in tow, of course, when they checked-in on them to offer their support. 

“Lake, hey!” He called out as he trotted over to where she was. Now, if he could distract her long enough to steer her elsewhere he would consider this a win. “I was just looking for someone brave enough to accompany me on a tarot reading run.”

// @softglws

[softglws]

honestly, lake had been doing a pretty good job avoiding certain sections of the pride celebration. not because she wasn't having fun. she absolutely was. but every time she caught sight of a familiar blonde head in a crowd, her stomach did this weird little thing where it dropped directly into her shoes. which was ridiculous mostly because she was a grown woman, and also because her mother wasn't even the reason she'd come today. at least that's what she kept telling herself, so when she heard her name, lake practically jumped. her head snapping around fast enough to nearly lose the little rainbow cowboy hat perched on top of it. " darius! " the relief was immediate and visible like she'd just been rescued from something. " thank god, " a hand immediately pressed against her chest. lake closed the remaining distance between them, looping her arm through his without a second thought. " tarot readin' run? " she repeated, brows lifting. a beat, then another. " y'know what? absolutely! let's go! " not even an ounce of hesitation can be heard in her tone.

[wrnglr]

closed starter for @softglws

location: fairgrounds, pride festival

Truth be told, Hank still isn't entirely sure how he ended up at the Pride in the Desert festival. Not so much because he has anything against it. Quite the opposite, actually He likes seeing people happy. Likes seeing folks being exactly who they are without apology. But the crowds, the noise, the sheer amount of glitter currently existing within a ten-foot radius of him? That's another matter entirely.

Still. He's here. And if he's being completely honest with himself—and God, that's become more dangerous lately—he knows exactly why. It's not for the music, or the food trucks, or the sunrise yoga somebody had enthusiastically tried to sell him on.

It was her. Lake. Which is a thought that still catches him off guard some mornings. Because somewhere between the smoke breaks outside Le Rouge, broken-down trucks, her birthday, late-night phone calls, and standing beside her in church clothes neither of them wanted to wear for her father's funeral, she'd stopped being something he was trying not to feel.

And started being someone he missed when she wasn't around. Someone he looked for. Someone whose hand had somehow become familiar in his. He still hasn't figured out what they are. Neither of them have really said it out loud or given it a label yet.

But she kissed him back. And she still reaches for him. And lately, that's been enough.

Hank is carrying two lemonades when he spots her across the fairgrounds. And for a second, the world sort of... narrows. It always does when she's around. The noise fades. The crowds disappear. And there's just her. His Blue. Beautiful enough to knock the air out of his lungs, which is inconvenient considering he likes breathing.

The smile that finds him is immediate, warm and entirely hers before he can think better of it. He weaves through the crowd until he's standing in front of her, holding out one of the drinks. "Took me twenty minutes and one aggressively supportive drag queen to get these," he says, blue eyes soft with amusement. "Apparently I look like a man who needed electrolytes and positive affirmation." His fingers brush hers when she takes the cup, lingering for just a second longer than necessary. And because he's grown entirely too fond of getting away with things, his free hand settles briefly against the small of her back as he leans in enough that she can hear him over the music. "You look beautiful, by the way." His voice drops, warm and familiar before he studies her for a moment, taking her in without shame, the ghost of a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. "You know," he says quietly, "I was beginning to think I was gonna have to survive this whole thing without my favorite distraction." The grin that follows is soft, fond, and just teasing enough to hide how much he means it. "Which would've been a shame, seeing as I came all the way out here for you." Which isn't a complaint, so much as it is the blatant truth. If it weren't for her, he'd be on his couch, catching up on the game as opposed to out in the heat sporting obnoxiously bold colors.

[softglws]

lake is halfway through accepting a rainbow bead bracelet from a woman she'd met approximately thirty seconds ago when she spots him and immediately forgets whatever conversation she'd been having. which is embarrassing. deeply embarrassing. because she is a grown woman. a grown woman who should absolutely not be getting distracted by a man carrying two lemonades. and yet. there he is. making his way through the crowd toward her with that look on his face. the one that's become increasingly difficult to pretend doesn't affect her. by the time he reaches her, she's already smiling. the kind she never manages to hide from him. the kind that's entirely his fault. " twenty minutes? " she repeats, accepting the lemonade immediately. " wow. you must really like me. " she laughs cheekily before stopping quickly with a small, excited gasp. " d'you think she does private sessions? " the question is entirely serious. at least for a second, because the thought of hank sullivan being aggressively complimented by a drag queen is maybe the best thing she's heard all day and something that she would love to witness. his fingers brush hers. linger. and despite the fact that they've kissed now, despite the fact that she's held his hand and danced with him and spent more time thinking about him than she'd ever admit out loud, her stomach still does that stupid little flip. especially when his hand settles against the small of her back, especially when he leans closer. the compliment lands exactly where he intended it to and lake ducks her head immediately, smiling into her lemonade like she can somehow hide behind it. " good thing i spent forty-five minutes gettin' ready then. " the attempt at casual fails spectacularly. mostly because she's grinning and mostly because she can feel herself blushing. when she finally looks back up at him, her eyes immediately soften. because then he says the rest of it and suddenly she forgets how to tease him. forgets how to make a joke. forgets how to do anything except stare at him. i came all the way out here for you. the words settle somewhere deep. dangerously deep. " hank ... " his name comes out quieter than she intends. for a second, all the noise around them seems to fade. the music, the crowd, the laughter. every-fuckin'-thing. until there's only him standing in front of her. " y'know, for somebody who spent months pretendin' he wasn't flirtin' with me ... " her free hand finds the front of his shirt automatically. familiar now. natural. " i feel like you've gotten awfully bold. " the smile that follows is fond. hopelessly fond. then she rises onto her toes just enough to press a quick kiss against his cheek. public, deliberate, and even little mischievous. " there, " she settles back onto her heels. " now everybody knows you're my favourite distraction. " a beat, and then her grin widens. " and for the record? " she hooks her arm through his. " i'm glad we both know that i'm way better than football. or whatever you'd be watching if you weren't here. " the confidence with which she says it suggests she's thought about this before. more than once.

[fromdvsk]

Dre watches the hurt move across her face before the anger fully covers it, and something in his chest drops. He can tell by the way Lake wrapped her arms around herself, the step backwards, the warmth that had been there seconds ago evaporating before his very eyes, that he’s done something he can’t take back and he hates it. He never wanted to hurt Lake, the exact opposite in fact, he was terrified for her, of her getting caught in the crosshairs of whatever the fuck was going on in town. But he didn’t know, in this moment, how to undo the harm he’d caused. 

He opens his mouth to try to fix it. The words are right there:  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. But what comes out instead is, “I know how much you make at Le Rouge, Lake.” His voice is quieter now, stating it like it’s an explanation, like it’s going to land softer than it does. “And that was a lot more than anybody makes off of tips there in a good month.” 

He drags a hand over his jaw, frustrated with himself now on top of everything else. The fire’s still haunting him, it has been for weeks, and every time he closes his eyes he sees the flames, the moment he should’ve done something but didn’t. It’s made him see disaster in everything. Including this. He doesn’t see how he’s pouring salt on the wound with his words right now.

“I don’t think you did something wrong,” he tries again, even quieter, finally meeting her gaze, even though right now she’s barely looking at him. “I’m just terrified you did something to get that kind of money that’ll come back to bite you.” He means it in a ‘I’m concerned for your safety,’ kind of way. But given everything else he’s said, it could come across as even more judgmental. 

[softglws]

lake just stares at him without knowing what to say because very explanation somehow manages to make it worse. the mention of le rouge lands like another punch to the ribs, because now he's, what? doing the math? calculating her paycheck? trying to figure out what does and doesn't make sense? in hindsight, dre is her boss, so it makes complete rational sense that he'd know the number off the top of his head. but for lake, it feels like the walls are coming down around her. what if dre tells summer? what if summer tells hank? god, the thought of it makes her want to throw up. a humourless laugh escapes her. " so you've been keepin' track of my income now? what if i'm just really good at savin' my money, huh? " although, yes, lake is decent with her earnings, it still doesn't add up to what she gave dre. and the question isn't really a question. it's just another thing that hurts more than she'd expected. she shakes her head slowly when he says he's terrified for her, she believes him. that's the hardest part. she believes every word. she knows, somewhere past her hurt, that this isn't coming from cruelty. it's coming from fear. but fear doesn't make this hurt any less. " i know you're worried. " her eyes finally meet his again. " i can see that, i do. and i appreciate that more than you know, but bein' worried about me doesn't give you permission to decide what i'm capable of. " lake closes her eyes for a brief moment, pressing her lips together as she wrestles with herself. she'd worked too hard to keep this part of her life separate. too hard to make sure people only ever saw what she wanted them to see. because once they knew ... they looked at her differently. when she opens her eyes again, there's a resignation in them that wasn't there before. " you wanna know where the money came from? " her voice is flat now and devoid of the teasing warmth that usually lives there. " i've had a second job. for years. i dance. " the words catch in her throat despite herself. " at the mirage. l leave le rouge, drive forty-five minutes out of town, work until two or three in the morning, come home, sleep for a couple hours, and then do it all over again. " another hollow laugh escapes her. lake watches his face carefully. almost bracing for whatever comes next. her jaw tightens. another silence settles. this one quieter, more fragile, because lake is about to reveal a little more that dre is for sure not going to like. " and before you ask ... " she says, already shaking her head, " ... summer doesn't know. literally nobody does. " lake looks away, suddenly unable to hold his gaze anymore. she swallows hard. " but now you know. so, i hope it was worth the fuckin' math. "

[hndsights]

𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃  𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  !

LOCATION  ⸻  aroma  cafe.

special  delivery: @softglws

When  Bailey  heard  her  order  called  out  by  one  of  the  baristas  she  headed  for  the  pickup  counter  without  any  thought.  Simply  glad  that  she  hadn't  had  to  wait  too  long.  The  caffeine  hit  was  something  she  was  practically  feening  for  given  how  little  sleep  she'd  managed  to  get  the  night  before.  Between  the  melodies  forming  in  her  brain  and  Keyser  allowing  her  inner  demon  out  it  was  a  toss  and  turn  night.

As  she  reached  for  the  iced  beverage  her  hand  collided  with  another  and  Bailey  didn't  retract.  Only  her  eyes  turned  to  the  woman  collecting  the  same  drink.  She'd  spent  too  many  years  living  in  New  York  where  you  had  to  be  assertive  or  you'd  get  walked  all  over.  A  lesson  the  woman  who'd  spent  her  formative  years  in  Sedona  had  learned  the  hard  way.

"Yeah,  this  one's  mine."  There  was  no  harsh  tone.  Bailey  actually  smiled  and  was  sure  she  remembered  when  the  woman  had  walked  in.  "I  think  you  came  in  after  me  so  it  might  be  another  minute."  A  claimant  hand  rested  atop  the  coffee  beverage.  "That's  cute  though.  You've  got  good  taste  if  you've  ordered  the  same  thing."

Visions  of  plunging  a  straw  into  the  drink  played  behind  her  eyes  and  it  seemed  like  her  mouth  kept  getting  drier,  more  parched  the  longer  this  woman  didn't  realize  the  mixup.  Sleep  deprivation  pained  softly  at  her  temples.  "Too  bad  this  isn't  Starbucks  where  they  put  names  on  drinks,  yeah?"

[softglws]

sanem doesn't pull her hand away immediately. instead, her gaze lingers on the drink for a moment before lifting to the woman beside her. the claim is made with solid confidence, but not hostility, and there's something about it that almost makes her smile. it reminds her of city people. of people who had learned that hesitation meant losing out. a quiet laugh escapes her at the compliment to her taste in coffee. " i appreciate the vote of confidence, " she replies easily, her tone warm rather than argumentative. " though i should probably confess i don't think we're after the same drink. " she finally glances down at the cup between them, searching for anything that might settle the matter before either of them became too invested in defending a caffeinated prize. a if on cue, the barista's voice cuts through the café. medium iced americano! two sugars! sanem's brows lift as she looks toward the counter before returning her attention to the woman beside her. " well, " the corner of her mouth curves into an amused smile. " looks like yours has an identical twin. " she withdraws her hand completely now, stepping aside with an easy grace that suggests she'd never intended to turn the exchange into a contest in the first place. collecting her own drink from the counter, sanem's nose wrinkles almost instinctively. " oh, absolutely not. " the response comes with a quiet laugh, though there's an unmistakable sense of sincerity behind it. " don't even joke about starbucks. i'd much rather have the occasional coffee crisis than lose a place like this. "

[kirazturan]

The busy schedule and constant need for a distraction was likely the only thing keeping her sane these last few weeks. She'd go from work, to the gym, then out with friends whenever she found gaps. Whenever she couldn't do any of those things due to late hours and insomnia, she'd find a store that was open and wander the aisles to avoid being alone with her thoughts.

The text from sanem was a godsent since she hadn't had any other plans after work. While always known for being on time, the brunette couldn't have guessed that a pair of clients would have kept her in a meeting for longer than anticipated but it was the nature of her work and a complicated case. Luckily, meetings were charged by the hour and she'd be compensated. Though she'd have to make it up to her friend.

"I'm sorry I'm late. I tried to text you but I ran out as soon as I could." She sat down and flashed her a smile, laughter billowing out softly at the mention of calling an emergency to see her. "Life has been crazy." Everything felt like it was falling apart and she couldn't even begin to start to figure out where she should focus her energy to make any of it better, but she didn't want to burden Sanem with that after not having seen her for such a long time.

"I think that you should start first." Kiraz said while she busied herself with peering over the menu. More so as a distraction but hoping that it would give the impression that she needed to study the menu more before getting into a life update that would only drag down the mood.

"We'll need something a lot stronger for my update and from how good you look, I can't imagine that anything bad is going on for you so I need to hear all about the great stuff you've been doing."

[softglws]

sanem watches the familiar smile settle onto kiraz's face, but it doesn't quite reach her eyes. and sanem doesn't say anything about it. not yet, at least. instead, she reaches across the table, giving the back of kiraz's hand a brief, affectionate squeeze. “ you're forgiven, aşkım. besides, you showed up and that's what matters. ” the corners of her mouth lift. the teasing is light, intended only to ease whatever weight is hanging onto kiraz. “ alright, stronger it is. i won't argue with that recommendation. ” sanem glances toward the waiter come to their tabke to pour fresh water. sanem tells the waiter that she'll also take a cadillac margarita and allowing space for kiraz to order. when kiraz quickly redirects the conversation, sanem lets out a quiet, knowing hum. “ life's been ... fine. ” she says honestly. “ i love what i have here. i love the ranch. my family. everything i've been able to build since coming home. ” her thumb traces absentmindedly around the rim of her water glass. “ but i feel ... ” she pauses, searching for a word that doesn't quite seem to exist. “ i don't know ... bored? ” a small laugh escapes her, though it carries more confusion than humour. “ not with my life. just with myself, maybe. ” her gaze drifts briefly toward the canyon, the last of the evening sun stretching across the red rock before she looks back at kiraz. “ i think i spent the last year just trying to survive that i got really good at it. and now that i'm not surviving anymore ... ” she shrugs lightly. “ i don't really know what comes next. ” another small smile appears. “ maybe that's a good problem to have. ” then she tips her head, studying kiraz for a moment longer. “ ... which brings me back to you. ” her expression softens. “ because i have a feeling your ' life's been crazy ' and my ' i'm bored ' aren't even close to being in the same category. ”

[fromdvsk]

It's a testament to how engrossed Dre is by his thoughts that he didn't even hear her truck approaching. Since hanging up the phone, he'd fixated on the questions racing through his head as he stared absently at the remains of the church. Who did this? Why did they do it? Should he have forced his father to take the letters to the cops? Could he have prevented this?

At Sanem's voice, he drags his attention back to the present, her warm touch serving as the final tug he needed to bring him back to reality. He watches her expression as she takes in the view and now, seeing it through a newcomer's eyes, Dre is overwhelmed by the frustrating helplessness of it all. He should be able to do something about this, be able to protect Sanem, and all the other people in town he cares so deeply about.

He's on the verge of spiralling back into his thoughts when she asks her question and he shifts to face her, refusing to allow his thoughts to drift again. His mouth pulls at one corner, not quite a smile as he looks down at her, but better than the angry frown he'd been wearing all day. "Define anything."

[softglws]

sanem's eyes narrow slightly at that, the corner of her mouth twitching despite herself. “ define anything? ” she echoes. “ that's usually not a great sign. ” the warmth of her hand lingers briefly against his arm before she lets it fall away, giving him space without stepping back completely. her gaze drifts toward the church again, taking in the blackened remains silhouetted against the darkening sky. “ coffee doesn't count. neither does whatever gas station snack you've convinced yourself qualifies as dinner. ” there's a softness to the teasing, deliberate in its attempt to pull him somewhere lighter than wherever his mind keeps trying to wander. when she looks back at him, her expression settles into something gentler. “ dre. ” his name is quiet, steady. “ i'm serious. ” because she knows him. maybe not as well as some people do, but enough. enough to recognize the look he's wearing. enough to know he's probably been carrying the weight of this place on his shoulders since the moment he saw the flames. “ you can't spend twenty-four hours standing out here trying to solve this by yourself. ” her eyes flick briefly toward the wreckage. “ that's how people end up breaking without realizing they're doing it. ” for a moment, the breeze moves between them, carrying the lingering scent of smoke through the night air. “ so. ” she nudges his shoulder lightly with her own. “ i'm asking again. have you eaten anything that didn't come out of a vending machine or have a mascot on the packaging? ”

[softglws]

[ 🌧️ ] sanem

🌧️ ㅤ━━ㅤis there a pain they refuse to heal from ?

yes. and she hates the answer. because healing sounds like letting go. and letting go feels dangerously close to forgetting. clara has been gone for almost eight months now, but there are pieces of that grief sanem still keeps tucked away like precious things. not because they make her happy. not because they don't hurt. because they do. but because sometimes the pain is proof that it was real. proof that clara existed. proof that she mattered. sanem knows she deserves a life that isn't built around loss. she knows clara wouldn't want her frozen in time. but there are wounds she's never fully allowed to close. not because she can't heal them. because a part of her is still afraid of who she'll be once she does. and whether there'll be enough of clara left in the silence afterward.

[softglws]

🧪 Sanem, is there anyone in town you have your eye on? romantically?

sanem's eyes narrow immediately. “ that's a horrible question. what kind of question is this? can we try got something a little more origonal next time? ” sanem gives a sigh, though, unfortunately for her, that isn't exactly an answer. she exhales slowly through her nose and stares down into her tea for a second longer than necessary. “ i truly don't know if i'd say i have my eye on anyone. ” another pause. her expression twists slightly, already regretting where this is going, and she immediately points a finger at whoever asked. “ and before you ask for names, i would like it noted that this entire exercise feels deeply invasive. ”

[softglws]

🧩 🌊 🔒 (for sanem)

🧩 ㅤ━━ㅤ what’s a truth about themselves they refuse to admit ?

sanem refuses to admit she misses having someone who knew every version of her. someone she could call first. someone who shared the quiet parts of life with her. she tells herself she's content, that the ranch and her family are enough.

🌊 ㅤ━━ㅤ when was the last time they cried ?

the last time she cried was six days ago. she was alone in the barn after everyone had gone home, brushing one of the horses as the sun disappeared beyond the fences. catching up with an old friend over the phone, had mentioned clara earlier that day — casually, kindly — and for some reason it caught sanem off guard. the tears came before she realized they were there, and she wiped them away almost immediately, told her friend on the other line that she needed to go, and then she finished brushing the horse and went about the rest of her evening like nothing had happened.

🔒 ㅤ━━ㅤ what is a secret they’ve sworn never to tell ?

answered here.