Whalien354

Whalien354 on AO3 22/any pronouns please tell me animal facts

[i-am-a-whalien]

Hudson reminds me of the sharksmile son of TikTok fame.

And that's beautiful.

[i-am-a-whalien]

Learned that the girl that SAed me the summer before high school got worms.

Living la vida loca.

[i-am-a-whalien]

would it be emotional torture if I told one of my best friends (of 4 years) that he and I remind me of Syd and Carmy from The Bear?

I'd be Carmy, he'd be Syd.

[lavenderprose]

Ottawa wins the Cup, wins it in LA, and due to the proximity to stardom and the several actual celebrities who make a point to come out and celebrate with the Centaurs, there are approximately seven hundred angles of the festivities on every social media by the following morning.

One of these is your classic TMZ highly invasive round-the-corner spy shot of Shane and Ilya--like, waiting for an Uber, is what it looks like, and the bass from inside the club is pounding and you can barely hear what they're saying except that the guy standing next to them is also TMZ and he's got a directional mic sticking out of his pocket pointed at them and when he gets into position you can hear Shane Hollander, like, fucking giggle.

"I'm sorry," Shane says, and his arms are around Ilya's neck. "I got--I'm a little drunk."

"It's okay," Ilya says, and he brushes a hand through Shane's hair. "Did you have fun?"

"Ye-s-s-s," Shane says, nodding his head decisively. "We won the Cu-p."

"Yes we did. I am proud of you."

"I'm proud of you!" Shane cups a hand around the back of Ilya's neck and giggles again into his shoulder. "Why aren't you drunk? I drank the same things as you--"

"I'm drunk," Ilya chuckles. "But I have twenty pounds on you and I am Russian, so."

"That's not a thing. That's not really a thing." Shane sighs and goes a bit boneless against Ilya's body and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, uh--"

"Shh. You said you had fun, and this is all that matters. My beautiful winner." He kisses the side of Shane's face, loudly and repeatedly.

Shane makes a sound that Twitter, TikTok and Instagram comment sections will all agree is a purr.

There are also, by the following morning, about a hundred discrete comments on various platforms that all say some version of Oh I just know he talks him through it.

[i-am-a-whalien]

thinking about Yuna Hollander in her glasses rn and feeling a lottt like Ilya

[hollanoveau]

oh my god why did i just fucking realize. cliff marleau SAVED hollanov. ilya was hammering the nails in his own coffin and was gonna put in the final one THAT NIGHT after the game. his stupid ass was gonna end it. this is not communicated in the show but in the book he was about to pull the fucking trigger.

BUT THEN MY MAN, HEATHCLIFF MARLEAU, LAID SHANE HOLLANDER SMOOOOOV OUT WITH HIS BIG BEAUTIFUL BODY AND BROKE HIS COLLARBONE AND CANCELLED THEM PLANS AND SENT THAT COFFIN STRAIGHT TO THE WOODCHIPPER

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND SAY THANK YOU CLIFF MARLEAU!!!!!!!! WE OWE YOU EVERYTHING KING!!!!!!!!!!!

[mybloodstream-caffeine]

My most implausibly self indulgent hollanov au is still picturing them as the protagonists of a romcom opposites attract secret high school romance,,, Ilya is the leather jacket wearing, cigarette smoking, motorbike riding bad boy and Shane is the clean cut golden boy, Captain of the hockey team and dating the class president Prom Queen,,, imagine Shane with his nice sensible haircut and his varsity jacket making out with Ilya and his multiple against school regulation piercings behind the bleachers,,,

[shillanov]

imagine them trading jackets. shane blushing as ilya drapes the leather jacket over his shoulders one night early on in their relationship. shane in the parking lot after school shyly handing ilya his letterman jacket, only to have ilya smugly and proudly wearing it everywhere he goes

[i-am-a-whalien]

This post is honestly just for me.

Ilya Rozanov as Jim Hawkins, specifically in Treasure Planet. This is mostly just because I love them all so much.

Something about their daddy issues and shared swag just really speaks to me.

I may be pondering this for a while.

[evvergreen]

tumblr is the website for if you're just someone's weird sister

[i-am-a-whalien]

Out of curiosity: what's the best?

getting drunk

getting high

masturbating

I can't choose between my darlings

Voting ended onJun 27

[honeyybrii]

ok the flip of my post about shane having zero awareness that people think he's cool is Ilya having zero awareness people develop anything beyond surface level connection with him

ilya knows he's charming, he knows he's hot and funny he knows he can motivate his team and he knows he's a good fuck but he doesn't know how many people want More so bad

for years in boston he's flirty and cocky over how many people come back for more in terms of hook ups with no concept of that fact that some of them linger because they want to get to know him too. he goes out and always has a fun time with his teammates and boosts morale and buys everyone shots but he doesn't actually tell the team anything Real. he's good for Fun, that's it, he doesn't realize the rookies, marleau and other players would sit and listen to him talk about Him for hours if he let them.

which is part of why ottawa is such an adjustment because he's trying So Hard but he's barely even Fun anymore so what purpose does he have? when the reality is, ilya's life is a trail of people who have been impacted by him but he fades out because he thinks he has very a Specific Purpose and sticking around or Being Known is not part of that (he doesn't know anyone would be interested anyway)

and THIS is incredibly frustrating for shane when they're married because his husband is STILL all big smiles and flirty jokes whenever they're out and Shane is watching people not just get turned on (he loves that so many people want his husband but only He gets him thank you) but also he watches people want even More while ilya is completely unaware and doesn't realize people Want to know the past behind such a dazzling smile and phenomenal charm.

shane is brutally aware of how adored ilya would be if he let anyone close enough to see how much there Is to love about him but ilya just doesn't. he makes flirty surface level comments to waitresses and bartenders and grins but always keeps it light when they start to dig for More. he flirts without even realizing because he doesn't realize how drawn people are to Him as a person not just his body. so shane's eye is constantly twitching not because the waitress wanted to fuck ilya rozanov but she WANTS HIS HUSBAND dammit

he sees ilya being an incredible leader and role model for the rookies and watches how he makes the team want to be better how he has that Thing shane never had that just makes people click. but he also then watches him step back and exist just outside the dynamic, never fully joining because he doesn't know how that's not His Role. he flirts to flatter people and then backs off because he's married but also because why would it he viewed as leading or more? there's nothing else to find

they also fuck about this but there is also a Lot of shane telling ilya how valued he is beyond that and talking about how bad everyone wishes they were married to his husband

[honeyybrii]

ok the flip of my post about shane having zero awareness that people think he's cool is Ilya having zero awareness people develop anything beyond surface level connection with him

ilya knows he's charming, he knows he's hot and funny he knows he can motivate his team and he knows he's a good fuck but he doesn't know how many people want More so bad

for years in boston he's flirty and cocky over how many people come back for more in terms of hook ups with no concept of that fact that some of them linger because they want to get to know him too. he goes out and always has a fun time with his teammates and boosts morale and buys everyone shots but he doesn't actually tell the team anything Real. he's good for Fun, that's it, he doesn't realize the rookies, marleau and other players would sit and listen to him talk about Him for hours if he let them.

which is part of why ottawa is such an adjustment because he's trying So Hard but he's barely even Fun anymore so what purpose does he have? when the reality is, ilya's life is a trail of people who have been impacted by him but he fades out because he thinks he has very a Specific Purpose and sticking around or Being Known is not part of that (he doesn't know anyone would be interested anyway)

and THIS is incredibly frustrating for shane when they're married because his husband is STILL all big smiles and flirty jokes whenever they're out and Shane is watching people not just get turned on (he loves that so many people want his husband but only He gets him thank you) but also he watches people want even More while ilya is completely unaware and doesn't realize people Want to know the past behind such a dazzling smile and phenomenal charm.

shane is brutally aware of how adored ilya would be if he let anyone close enough to see how much there Is to love about him but ilya just doesn't. he makes flirty surface level comments to waitresses and bartenders and grins but always keeps it light when they start to dig for More. he flirts without even realizing because he doesn't realize how drawn people are to Him as a person not just his body. so shane's eye is constantly twitching not because the waitress wanted to fuck ilya rozanov but she WANTS HIS HUSBAND dammit

he sees ilya being an incredible leader and role model for the rookies and watches how he makes the team want to be better how he has that Thing shane never had that just makes people click. but he also then watches him step back and exist just outside the dynamic, never fully joining because he doesn't know how that's not His Role. he flirts to flatter people and then backs off because he's married but also because why would it he viewed as leading or more? there's nothing else to find

they also fuck about this but there is also a Lot of shane telling ilya how valued he is beyond that and talking about how bad everyone wishes they were married to his husband

[penandinkprincess]

unreasonably amused by the idea of itty bitty shane not wanting to get off the ice after practice to the point that david gets ON the ice to get him, so itty bitty does the "my bones are gone now" resistance move kids are so good at.

but fails to consider that ice is. so slippery.

like stage your protest all you want, buddy, but you have literally never been more move-able.

[butimaficwriter]

Read the post and loved it exactly for the potential of what's in the tags: uh oh now David made it funnnn and Shane, quick little bean that he is, riiiight as he's getting to the edge of the rink, about to be picked up and passed to mom, gets up and skates away to the middle of the rink and PLOMP lays down on his back, giggling and kicking his little skates. "Again, Dad (Shane does not call David daddy in front of his friends, he's not a baby!), again!!"

It doesn't help David and Yuna that everyone and their mother thinks this is the funniest, cutest thing ever and laughs, just spurring Shane to do it more and more.

[penandinkprincess]

OH MY GOD

coupled with the idea of shane's conversation with rose when he talks about how hockey got less fun because it got more intense and so so did he: the idea of ilya dramatically flopping on his back on the ice one day at camp when they're done running drills with the kids

and he is teasingly refusing to get up because he is dead now, hollander, can you not see this, and shane hesitates for just a second, grabs his hand, plants one of his skates, and just sends him sliding off towards the side of the rink, thinking about how his dad used to do it to him after every single practice

and ilya laughs and shane laughs and for this moment at least, being on the ice is nothing but Fun again

[i-am-a-whalien]

People on this site forget how sexy and desirable Ilya is and it pmo.

[i-am-a-whalien]

No one except Shane's people knowing Ilya's queerness feels the same to me as almost no one really knowing Adrien is Chat Noir.

I will be accepting questions.

[probablily]

I just love it when things are earnest like everyone get more earnest now

[symbieote]

Well you see. Shane and Ilya get to be both SidOvi AND SidGeno.