🌸 5 Ideas for Switch Couples to Help Tops Enjoy Submissive Energy 🌸
Written by Panda with intention for Daddy’s/Caregivers that identify as switches who still want to experience power exchange - including submissive/little headspace or interactions. These ideas require little “dominant” energy or headspace from a bottom leaning partner because they can be made part of a routine and therefore do not require as much spontaneity or pressured decision making from the submissive. Establishing a routine power exchange may allow for a more consistent healthy release of submissive energy for the Top.
1. Daily or Scheduled clothing choices.
The Submissive or Little can be in charge of picking out every piece of the Tops outfit to wear for the scheduled day/s (or part of the day). Should sometimes but not necessarily always include cute or embarrassing or fun things such as chastity, diapers, plugs, femme, onesies, etc.
Can discuss how often, certain guidelines/prerequisites of choices, whether the top will put the clothing on or if the submissive will dress the top, are the outfits for at work or after work, etc.
2. Tickle Time aka Face-Time *winky face*.
There will be a scheduled day or time each week that the submissive will restrain or tie the Top to the bed in order to allow the top to feel not in control. Can include actual tickles if the top permits, but may also utilize tease and denial, pleasure, pain, sensation play, sensory deprivation, etc. Consider allowing the Top to select a few items or things they would enjoy most and then giving the submissive the ability to choose from those selected things.
Can discuss Soft and Hard limits, amount of time spent restrained, frequency of days or time of day, toys/items allowed to be used, types of play permitted, where to be tied, specific things the Top would enjoy, ect
3. Scheduled Body Service
Establish a routine/schedule that includes the Top servicing the submissive’s body in some way that the submissive enjoys. The service can include things like pleasure and prolonged oral service, or possibly humiliation by utilizing things like having the bottom kneel and perform a blowjob to a strap-on, or can even incorporate ageplay activities such as breastfeeding at certain determined times.
Discuss how long the service is to be performed, when and how often, ways for the submissive to communicate how they want the service performed, how the Top would like to feel as they perform the body service on the submissive, etc.
4. Random Chance Game
Come up with a fun game using Dice where you roll two dice before bed (or when ready to play) and 1-6 on one dice corresponds to 6 different things (Spanking, edging, hours spent in bondage or predicament, get creative!) and then the second dice is correlated to the number rolled from dice one. [ie; Rolls a 3 and a 5 - the 3 on dice one was the number for a spanking X10 and the 5 on the second dice means the person will be getting 50 spanks]. Alternatively, FapRoulette has some interesting challenges and sexy ways to leave the control out of the Tops hands and in the hands of chance (while the submissive keeps the Top accountable or helps enforce the consequences).
Discuss Hard and Soft limits, as well as a routine of how often the game will be played and what the stakes will be.
5. Power Totem
Come up with a tangible item like a wristband or a necklace or a hair tie that symbolizes who has the dominance in the dynamic. Start out with the Top wearing the item but establish that the submissive is allowed to take the item whenever they are feeling ready to be in charge. The top isn’t allowed to stop the submissive from taking the item when the submissive wants it. When the submissive no longer feels like maintaining the dominant headspace they are allowed to give the item back to their partner.
Discuss not abusing the power of the item to get out of situations or discipline that arise in the normal dynamic. Discuss Soft and Hard limits of both parties. Discuss the types of power that the person with the totem has.
Discipline!!! - Just like all other power exchange dynamics there should be some pre-determined discipline for the Top if they don’t follow through (they’re the one asking for this after all). Breaking the schedule, not wearing what the submissive chooses for them, not submitting or behaving during tickle time, not providing adequate body service, not completing the game or dice roll, not being obedient when the submissive has the totem… those are all reasons that the Top and Submissive should agree upon discipline for the Top. Choosing punishments are hard, so maybe search for some good ones here on Tumblr or go with some of the classics. Spanking, Corner time, Holding a difficult position, Clothing restrictions, Pain, Writing lines, Loss of something enjoyable, No more sweets, Additional chores, Soap in the mouth, Capsaicin on the butt, etc.
***Let your partners know that these are all meant to be low pressure interactions and that it’s okay if they do something silly, or mess up, or aren’t good at any of these right away! It’s supposed to be fun to try new things, so have fun with it and communicate. It’s important to establish that anything that happens during these interactions will not cause retribution to the submissive once the Top resumes regular topping dynamics. It’s equally important for the submissive to know that the Top is really looking forward to/needs these interactions to help feel fulfilled and loved. Any of these ideas can be combined and personalized to fit a couple’s needs and desires. Truthfully the hardest part is sometimes just sitting down with your partner and being honest about what you really want or need, so hopefully this post makes that conversation go a little easier.
