Still a mess

Cal, 22, Scotland

[fabiotheguitar]

i don’t know if this is the withdrawal setting in but I really need a deadloch lady parts crossover because just imagine.. lady parts world tour gets booked for this tiny town in Tasmania and they’re completely baffled by it until they show up and realize the town is 90% lesbians having booked them for an avante garde sapphic art festival because they “play in the space” with their “satire of patriarchy”. Ayesha suddenly surrounded by lesbians with zero filter, Bisma being able to commune with her fellow artists, Amina trying her best to have a beach day in the frigid weather. Most importantly

do we think they would fucking hate each other

[raayllum]

—José Olivarez

[eddie-redcliffe]

[sokkaandzuko]

Phil fucking stole Vanessas money and then kicked her out

havent seen anyone discussing this yet but In the scene where Eddie is forced to apologise to Phil vanessa appears saying all Trents bank accounts are empty and she can't pay rent and he walks off telling her it will be fine. Not to mention while grabbing her ass. And she tells him her pin code which he already knows as he finishes her sentence that its the rocks bday.

Then later we see her packing and Dolph tells them phil is kicking them out because she can't pay the rent. And all the scenes later of her starting work etc.

Phil fucking stole her money then kicked her out and took her son away even when she begged to go with him.

I just find Vanessa such a heartbreaking and realistic portrayal of women who align themselves with men and try to find value by making themselves appealing to them.

But when it comes down to it Vanessa is nothing to any of these men but a toy or a tool. They dont respect or value her any more than the women she tries to separate herself from.

The scene in the interrogation room where she is saying the detectives are just jealous and starts to break a bit as she says the men were just being normal men fuckin wrecks me. All that cutting herself into pieces to make herself palatable and all she has been is consumed.

[echojulietfoxtrot]

All of this.

Vanessa's a really fascinating character to me, to both love and hate. Town legend Sam groomed her while Mayor Rod turned a blind eye or even participated; much loved Coach Trent and his brother abused and harrassed her, Jimmy stalked her, and Phil has taken her money, home and son, while exploiting her as the veneer of his MRA clown show, only to turn her away with that faux-sympathetic little "Men only". They all just consume her. And she sees that as her role, to be consumed, and throws herself into it, hoping in vain that the bargain will mean something on their end too.

And who does she think of as her enemy? Women. All the other women, like Skye, whose life she's ruined twice, and Dulcie, who "can't understand" any of this because she's a lesbian. The rest, well obviously they're all "just jealous".

When Dulcie finally unravels what Sam did to her and she wavers, it really seems like she was actually aware on some level of how terrible the men in her life have been to her, but... as she says, that's "normal", isn't it? Boys being boys, men being men.

She's both a tragic and dangerous figure though, because as we've all probably learned the hard way, even after something like this, the chances are a Vanessa will still align herself with the next Phil or Gavin or Trent a hundred more times before she'll ever identify with Skye or Eddie or Abby or Dulcie. That doesn't and shouldn't stop Skye from keeping her secret or Dulcie from wanting some justice from her, but it’s a complicated, compellingly realistic bit of ugliness in an often hyperreal setting.

[sokkaandzuko]

god yes you're so right like she is so fascinating because she Is awful and has been so cruel and poses a threat to the other characters but she is so so tragic too. The way we re slowly shown more about her experiences and the ways she is just as much a victim as she is a 'villain'

"hoping in vain that the bargain will mean something on their end too."

This is a really good way of putting it, the way she has carved herself up and the person she has turned herself into in the hopes of gaining power/approval but as we all know it never ever will.

And i think on some level she knows it too, that desperate little 'Phil its me' and her face when he responds with the men only, which absolutely had an implied threat of stay in your place, do as your told. I think it shows that she knows no matter what she does she will only ever be something to be consumed.

Which also makes her rationalizing of all of it so sad and so painfully realistic, when she says they are blowing everything way out of proportion and are just jealous. but her voice is starting to shake, sidenote the actress did an absolute phenomenal job in that scene.

I think in her head it Has to be okay. it Has to be other women who are the real enemy because otherwise the true horror of her experiences will be real, she would be a victim rather than Special.

She seems to be trapped in this cycle of abusive relationships, moving from one awful man to the next because it is all she has ever experienced and how would she even know to expect better. And to cope with that she has turned it into a badge of honour, men are obsessed with her because she is beautiful and other women are jealous and bitches and lesbians.

And yeah the things she has done to the others, especially Skye, are abhorrent yet we can see so clearly how she got to the point that she has. and they also dont negate from her deserving justice/sympathy.

I also find her hatred and seeming fixation on Skye absolutely fascinating but that's probably a whole other post lol.

[sokkaandzuko]

Phil fucking stole Vanessas money and then kicked her out

havent seen anyone discussing this yet but In the scene where Eddie is forced to apologise to Phil vanessa appears saying all Trents bank accounts are empty and she can't pay rent and he walks off telling her it will be fine. Not to mention while grabbing her ass. And she tells him her pin code which he already knows as he finishes her sentence that its the rocks bday.

Then later we see her packing and Dolph tells them phil is kicking them out because she can't pay the rent. And all the scenes later of her starting work etc.

Phil fucking stole her money then kicked her out and took her son away even when she begged to go with him.

I just find Vanessa such a heartbreaking and realistic portrayal of women who align themselves with men and try to find value by making themselves appealing to them.

But when it comes down to it Vanessa is nothing to any of these men but a toy or a tool. They dont respect or value her any more than the women she tries to separate herself from.

The scene in the interrogation room where she is saying the detectives are just jealous and starts to break a bit as she says the men were just being normal men fuckin wrecks me. All that cutting herself into pieces to make herself palatable and all she has been is consumed.

[kchzndrvh]

thinking about mary and lilith and mary desperately holding a girl who failed to die in front of a grave.

thinking about how human bodies are not meant to survive so much trauma, how even just the shock of it can kill you before blood loss does, thinking about lilith’s hair turning white as it drags her back to life.

thinking about mary’s shock and rage at vincent’s betrayal and all of them stopping mary from rushing headlong to the enemy and lilith stepping in and telling mary she’ll handle this.

lilith? the tarask? both? walking towards vincent, towards adriel, towards a god that could kill with a flick of a hand. thinking about how maybe he does kill her; color bleeding out in a rapid rush, but the body no longer knows how to die.

thinking about “lily”. how precious. how childish. how far removed from the name of one that is shunned.

lily, in the same breath as digging in the knife of a broken friendship.

thinking about dying and failing to stay dead and losing yourself to an idea forced into your head. thinking about losing yourself but the love in you remains all the same. your mind cannot remember, but your body does, and maybe in the end that is enough

getting out is as easy as breathing, youve done it just minutes before, the proof is right there staining your face, but still you love them too much to ever want them dead? thinking about blood on lilith’s face and on her hands and mary (and beatrice) knowing lilith well enough to know It’s Not Her from sight and taking her chances anyway.

thinking about “ava, do not shoot lilith” and “i see you. i see you, my sister.” thinking about how all warrior nuns die and shannon dying and lilith being next in line, lilith who keeps chasing after the halo like its the last thing she has to do.

thinking about mary watching shannon die, mary being asked by vincent to be okay if getting the halo back means killing the girl bearing it. thinking about mary having to watch lilith die all the same, even without the halo in her back, because mary called her heartless then asked her to care.

[birgittesilverbae]

Queen Victoria - Suffia Malik

warrior nun 1x01 // 2x08

[sokkaandzuko]

i know it was so she could see Micheals healing abilities but man did they have to keep him shirtless in front of his mum for the entire scene. Its so uncomfortable how long it goes on lmao.

[sokkaandzuko]

so obviously Liliths mother is a mega bitch but Holy shit I just realised that 2x02 seems to be the first time they 've seen each other at all since Lilith fuckin Died. Makes the coldness 800x worse. She literally tells her her scars dont matter because shes not the WN. i dont know how Lilith resisted butchering her now.

[sokkaandzuko]

in S1x7 when Bea and Vincent are told they are being reassigned Bea Begs to stay, says they are"cutting us off from everything we love and care about" and "this is my home" and most painfully "Mother Please"

Do you think these are the same words she used last time; when her parents sent her away.

How painful must that have been for her, after everything, all the work she has put into being the perfect warrior nun, spending years honing her skills, fighting night and day, giving everything to the church so she can be seen as useful and competent and capable, stamping down on the parts of herself that she was told were unacceptable so that she is beyond reproach, and it still wasn't enough.

All of that and she is being thrown away again anyway. Rejected by this new family just the same as the first one.

[sokkaandzuko]

I can't stop thinking about the coffee table. Like it was this one item in the house she was so proud of and thought was nice and wanted to keep in good condition and its constantly disparaged by Kevin and the others, pointing out its from goodwill, refusing to use coasters, and just generally being shitty about it. And like he's happy to spend money on expensive stuff for him which adds another level of insult to injury.

And then he breaks it. Him and Neil, i think its p important Neil jumping up was what did it. Like he's just another of Kevins weapons and foreshadows the way he's going to hurt Allison later while trying to get closer to Kevin.

allison was also standing on it, as much as she tried to keep it nice when push comes to shove she has to follow Kevins lead even when it hurts her.

then after that they ducttape it up and it just sits there like the stitched up corpse of Allisons dreams the rest of the season. I feel like in the sitcom world itd be seen as a sweet gesture but in reality its just acts another warning to Allison not to try going against Kevins wants or try to have anything for herself

[sokkaandzuko]

Man when Kevin got rid of the dog it absolute broke my heart, mainly cos i love dogs but also Allison had admitted he was the closest thing to a confidante she had and that that was depressing and then Even That was taken away. Like when she's petting him and you just know shes totally touch starved. Im also wondering if Kevin knew it was her in the footage and getting rid of Bill was a retaliation for that. Tho I think he would be more likely to do something much worse if he really did know.

[plastic-pipes]

Begin Again: (1/?): 

not much to say, it took forever; hope y’all like it c: 

[etherianinenine]

[sokkaandzuko]

In the crimson waste ep, why did Huntara bother with the whole saving the BFS and setting up that trap? Her wee pals were about to beat up them up anyway. Do we think she really was gonna let them leave til Adora Cockblocked her? Or is she just a massive drama queen.

[ink-splotch]

Join E Jade Lomax on Patreon to get access to this post and more benefits.

And this is really exciting-- I'm doing a podcast!

Aysha Farah and I are producing and writing a sci-fi podcast called Second Star to the Left. We just wrapped our full first draft of the nine episode season and are working on edits. I'm really proud of the story we've put together!

We're starting to look at cast and crew schedules now and we'll let you know how production goes!

The reward for my $1 patrons this month is a sneak peek at the draft of the first episode of the podcast. Come check it out :)

Synopsis: Second Star to the Left

“Scout-explorer Gwendolyn Hartley is on a five-year mission to map, study, and prepare a planet for settlement. It’s a hard job and lonely one, but she’s been chasing this dream all her life. Gwen’s only connections back to humanity are the letters she sends home and the anxious voice of her assigned scout-minder in her ear. 

Bell Summers is on a five-year mission to monitor, support, and advise three scout-explorers as they prepare undeveloped planets in quadrant 530-D for settlement. Listening from their rented berth on a local space station, Bell is always a step away from the action. The untamed vistas, biological marvels, and dangers of the planets are just sounds on their short-range FTL communicator. 

Missing the things she’s lost or left behind, Gwen is determined to love and protect her new home. Cautious and stubborn, Bell is determined to get all their scouts through this alive. They didn’t intend to fall for a place-- or a face-- that they’ve never seen.”

[willow-s-linda]

She’s no man D: