reasons i’m qualified to be here:
-i have 6 taylor swift cds in my car and three different ones in my room i need to put in my car
-i hate jkr and every vile disgusting thing she’s said
-i’m sad

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@solace-stars
reasons i’m qualified to be here:
-i have 6 taylor swift cds in my car and three different ones in my room i need to put in my car
-i hate jkr and every vile disgusting thing she’s said
-i’m sad
context: james breaks up with regulus and cites the reason being that sirius doesn’t want them to be together (“im sorry baby, i really am, but maybe it’s better this way. maybe it’s better to stop before either of us get in too deep”)
Okay maybe James was overcompensating. Maybe he felt like he was breaking apart at the seams, but he just couldn’t lose Sirius. It was bad enough for those few months after The Prank. And maybe he really really thinks he loves Regulus and breaking up feels like he’s stabbing himself in the heart. Maybe he’s saying this to reassure himself that Regulus doesn’t care to that degree about him. But maybe James miscalculated some things.
Because oh. Oh. Oh. James had forgotten. How had he forgotten? He had gotten too complacent. He had forgotten what it looked like, felt like to be blocked off from Regulus Black. Where James was once privy to knowing how every minute twitch of his face represented a shift in his emotions, that was now gone. This was the stone cold Black people whispered about in the hallways. This was the emotionless thing that people didn’t even consider human, that was feared. James had unknowingly bought himself a one way ticket to losing all ties and attachments with Regulus Black, back to how they acted in 2nd fucking year, and oh how it hurt.
Maybe James didn’t belong in Gryffindor. Maybe he truly was a coward, a coward too afraid of losing his best friend that he willingly broke up with his boyfriend. Maybe it’s stupid he just. He didn’t expect it to hurt this much.
~
Regulus doesn’t say much as his face shutters closed until all those layers are reformed. He stitches up his bleeding skin with a smile because really, who was he to think this would last anyway?
“Goodbye, Potter.” And oh, oh, oh, how just two words can rip the wound even further. Regulus is falling apart at the seams, coming fully undone, but it doesn’t matter. James doesn’t care. He doesn’t care and Regulus cares so much that it is a physical pain inside of him. But that’s okay. Regulus knows how to deal with pain. It’s been a constant throughout his life. What’s a little more?
Only, Regulus isn’t prepared to deal with hope. He never really had to. So, when he got some, he let it in unprotected. He let his guard down. He didn’t realize that hope came with barbs that stuck deep into his skin until it was all ripped away and he was left bleeding.
Regulus turns. There’s nothing for him here anymore. He just. He needs to be in his dorm. At least there he can ward it to the nine hells and back and just be alone. He’s far too exposed here in this empty hallway with only a past “but what if” as a witness.
But there is something snarling in him through all this pain. People have used many animalistic words to describe Regulus. Snake, shark, feral cat, wolf. Regulus isn’t afraid to live up to their instincts. He can’t push down that animalistic urge to bite and tear when threatened.
“Oh, do say thank you to Sirius for me, Potter. He deserves it.” And with that he’s gone, disappeared, fading into plain sight. He’s gone before James can utter a syllable, before the fallout can truly begin.
He makes it to his dorm in record time, more thankful than ever that Barty and Evan are not there. He calmly sits on his bed, takes his shoes off, and then climbs further in. He shuts the drapes, mutters multiple spells as he waves his wand until he is fully satisfied that not even Merlin himself could disturb him for the next 12 hours. And then. And then.
Regulus shatters.
Regulus was always a reckless quidditch player. He knew his skills. Quidditch was one of them. He knew exactly when to stop to avoid collision and wouldn’t stop a second before. He was absolutely breathtaking to watch, a mechanical masterpiece.
It changed in his 7th year. He got more reckless. He would rather crash into the ground at full speed to get the snitch than wait until 10 seconds later where he would undoubtedly catch it without any harm.
He went from breathtaking to fear inducing to watch. His captain always yelled at him to knock it off, the team would make jokes, madam hooch and madam pomfrey would look on disapprovingly. But no one stepped in.
Everyone just observed. Watched the impending doom. Enraptured by the supernova happening before their very eyes.
the amount of thought i just put into creating brithdays for sirius and regulus that would allow them to be two years apart in age yet still only be a year apart in grade level of hogwarts
i want more fics (or fic recs pls) about the black brothers realizing they have trauma
cause like. it took me 17 years of life to connect my eating problems to my early childhood. and sure, maybe that’s more subtle than physical abuse but do you know what’s also subtle? manipulation and emotional/verbal abuse
how long did it take them to realize all the subtle tactics that were supplied to keep them in line? i refuse to believe orion and walburga didn’t twist sirius and regulus’ minds in order for their gain, that they didn’t pit the brothers against each other to stop them from realizing the bigger picture of walburga and orion being the bad ones, not their brother
if the black family really was a family of slytherins, of subtlety striking at the exact right moment, achieving their goal at any cost, i bet you it wasn’t until the much later years of hogwarts and maybe not even until much later after that (rip regulus) that they realized the full extent of the childhood abuse they suffered
okay but the idea of sirius not realizing the consequences to his actions for certain things is so funny to me
like sirius sees the problem of regulus being too shy or whatever and goes oh, i should set him up with james so james can encourage him to be more social and i know james won’t betray me because he’s my best friend! perfect!
but then as soon as the plan works he realizes he has to watch his best friend date his little brother and he regrets everything that lead to that moment as remus shakes his head in the background because he told sirius this would happen
absolutely begging for more werewolf regulus fics
as painful as it is, would love for the idea of regulus being hurt as sirius’ punishment to happen more often
because sirius is that type of impulsive and hotheaded where he will insult his parents all day long and laugh in there faces as they punish him until he can laugh no more
but when suddenly pissing off his parents results in regulus getting injured in front of sirius while his parents are saying “oh i wish you didn’t make me do this sirius” and “poor regulus, if only your brother hadn’t forced my hand” and regulus is crying out to sirius because “please, siri, it hurts, help me, brother, please” i think sirius would fall in line a lot quicker, especially if it was before hogwarts time when they are isolated at grimmauld place
walburga and orion aren’t going to put up with a son that disobeys them. if that means they have to work around to find sirius weakness, and then, upon finding it, harm their second born son, their spare, then so be it