distressing things to say to your friends
YOU ARE THE REASON
The Bowery Presents

@theartofmadeline
Xuebing Du
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸

Discoholic 🪩

shark vs the universe

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Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day
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Jar Jar Binks Fan Club
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her

Love Begins

gracie abrams
Sade Olutola
Show & Tell
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
Misplaced Lens Cap
Keni
seen from Uzbekistan
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seen from Saudi Arabia

seen from Iraq
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seen from Türkiye
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seen from United States
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@solarial-lane
distressing things to say to your friends
randomly getting intensely interested in some bullshit like
my dead wife. the ad free internet
Burger queen divorced him
Being an Eridian scientist has to be so funny. You train your entire life as a biologist, becoming specialized in your field, probably giving lectures or educational speeches to other Eridians, and then the star savior Rocky comes home with his weird pet dog. Your job is now to cultivate food so the weird dog who is the age of average baby doesn’t die. The dog also saved the stars. Your job is making dog food out of the dog. You also learn that you and the dog have the same job. You are the happiest scientist on Erid.
The dog knows more about how the universe works than anybody else on your planet. The dog understands how relativity works and how the universe began. The dog has access to complex machines that can store and process massive amounts of information, launching your society into a new age of scientific and technological advancement.
You later find out that these machines were originally invented because the dog's species has a memory like a sieve and struggles with primary school level maths.
Grace: *Retroactively freaking out about Doing A Misogyny™*
Rocky: Me and the bestie!!! :)
anyway sound off. at what stage do ppl think Han figured out the Force was real. the boring answer is after seeing Obi-wan vanish but i think he could rationalise that away as his eyes playing tricks on him. what do we think.
Let me demonstrate my answer for you:
That's it. That's my answer. Endor.
Please just take a look at Han's face right after witnessing 3po float. The man just had his entire worldview blown to smithereens.
that's so funny. that means he accepted Vader deflecting a blaster bolt with his hand as just something freaky government cyborgs can do, and stuck by Luke for multiple years as he tried to figure this Force stuff out, and just treated it like your friend getting really really into neopaganism to cope with a loss.
like yeah kid good job with the witching. i'm certain it will be more useful against your enemies than your sharpshooting. no i do not think your witchcraft is supplementing your aim but i'm not gonna argue about it.
yeah Luke was like 'I heard Ben Kenobi's voice in my head telling me how to blow up the Death Star :)' and Han was like 'kind of an unusual coping mechanism but I'm not gonna argue with him'
thanks to carbonite han not only misses learning about luke's training montage on dagobah, he's also half-blind during their whole escape on tatooine. luke's out there force-kicking henchmen with his gucci boots and doing flips and shit and han can't see a goddamn thing. now on endor luke's yeeting threepio with the power of his mind and han's just like 'the last time we hung out i had to stuff him in a tauntaun sleeping bag'.
@softness-and-shattering I hate you I hate you I hate you
constantine, 2005
PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026)
Curses, foiled again!
Holland March operates by ragdoll physics and cartoon logic and that might just be what keeps him alive.
sometimes being a fan of something means not wanting them to make any more of it
PROJECT HAIL MARY (2026)
let's get zoomies with mama !!
Take this however you want