This blog touches on the interests close to my heart and the passions of my life, quite an eclectic lot. You will find llamas (and camels), landscapes (amid other things geologic), Lawrence (T.E.), and the musings of a night owl who always has her eye on the night sky.
something about murderbot's dysphoria of being a construct with organic parts... how it views its emotions as contamination to be flushed out, how it never wanted to pretend to be human, how it's still learning to want to be a person. how it truly does exist in a way completely apart from a human-- the digital part of itself is just as essential to its being as its physical body. Its drones and the systems it inhabits are extensions of its self. how it shows its feelings on its face, and hates that tell as much as the emotions themselves. the way it writes software like breathing and doesn't even have to pause and interpret code because code is as natural as thought. it truly is something beyond either organic or mechanical alone, and it still doesn't know what to do with that.
I have a confession to make. It’s definitely an unpopular opinion, but I kind of wish we didn’t get this exchange in Network Effect:
I know, I know. Don’t get me wrong, I understand why Martha included it. It reveals the intimacy of the scene. We get an idea of what this relationship looks like from a human perspective. It gives us a heads up that Murderbot 2.0 is a person and not just a string of code. But when you take the ‘you’re making a baby together’ line so literally, you don’t get the chance to really compare and contrast this scenario with the one in Artificial Condition, the other time Murderbot has ART alter itself. (Buckle up for some literary analysis. It gets pretty long. I included quotes!)
That first time, Murderbot changes itself so that it can pursue answers to its murky past. It wasn’t a life or death situation, and Murderbot felt like it could say no and its decision would be respected. In fact, it did say no to some of the suggestions. The two situations are so different on the face of it but when you get down to their hearts both reveal the same emotional/self-improvement hurdle that Murderbot struggles to get past.
When I first read Artificial Condition, it seemed pretty obvious that Murderbot doesn’t want to change itself because it doesn’t want to look human, and it doesn’t want to look human because it doesn’t have any desire to become more human in any way. But a few rereads later this line caught me by surprise:
So yes, a part of it is that it rejects humanity outright. but another part of the reason it doesn’t want to look like a human is because it thinks of humans as being people, and it still struggles to think of itself as person and not a thing. And looking more like a human makes it feel more like a person. There are a lot of things it allows itself to do/a lot of things it allows itself to be subject to expressly because it doesn’t think of itself as a person. Because to treat a person like that would be unacceptable.
And then we jump forward to Network Effect. Murderbot makes a copy of its kernel. Just as a reminder, earlier in this book, ART gets deleted, and then restored from a copy of its kernel. So we have textual evidence that a kernel is essentially the digital blueprint of machine intelligence. The original and the copied kernel are functionally the same being. Murderbot then starts to construct killware code so that the kernel can carry out the functions necessary for the mission. Since this is a pretty big task being done in a time crunch where lives are at stake, it asks ART to help construct this code.
So 2.0 is not a completely new being that they created together (which is the kind of thing I would consider to be their baby). They didn’t mix their kernels together to make a new person (another thing I would consider their baby). Murderbot never says that it thinks of 2.0 as its kid. Amena is the one who makes that claim.
This is how Murderbot describes their relationship right before killing it:
Two different iterations, with different capabilities. Same person, two versions. A few paragraphs previous to this, Murderbot uses that same word, iteration, to describe the different copies of TargetControlSystem:
It’s the same word it uses in System Collapse to describe the different copies of ART:
This was something that ART tried convincing Murderbot in that first conversation they have about constructing killware:
Murderbot tries telling ART ‘It wouldn’t even be me’, and ART is stunned speechless, and then says that Murderbot doesn’t understand how its own identity works. This is something ART has plenty of experience with, splitting its consciousness into different iterations. It knows that they would be the same person. It says ‘I didn’t mean you’, not ‘I didn’t mean our baby/kid/offspring’. ART considers killware with Murderbot’s kernel installed to be Murderbot.
This is how 2.0 identifies itself to Three:
A rogue secunit, working with an armed transport, currently present as killware. Not killware made by a secunit and armed transport. It tells us it’s unequivocally telling the truth here, not lying to make the situation easier to digest. So I think it’s fair to say that 2.0 does not think of itself as their offspring.
It seems to me that Amena is the only one to really consider 2.0 to be their ‘baby’ in the text of the book. Murderbot acquiesces to Amena that what they’re doing is kind of like making a baby. Because 2.0 is a newly conscious separate being from the original Murderbot, but it’s still Murderbot. It calls itself Murderbot. It distinguishes itself from the original copy by tacking on 2.0 at the end of its name. It refers to Murderbot’s memories as its own. And then at the end of Network Effect, Murderbot straight up says that the analogy that it was like their baby was wrong, but ART and Amena were right about it being a person:
I went through every moment that included or was regarding 2.0, to get a better understanding of how each of the machine intelligences involved classify its identity, and how it identifies itself, but that needs to be its own separate post or this will balloon to over 5000 words.
So Murderbot is being forced to change itself by the circumstance it finds itself in. At first glance it might seem as though this is an example of Murderbot exerting its autonomy, since this time it is the one to suggest altering itself. Except there’s no longer a choice that it can say no to, and they have no alternative ideas (can you call it a choice if you can’t say no? If you have no other options?). They don’t have the time to come up with any other solutions. Creating a person whose only function is to die should be unacceptable. But Murderbot allows itself to be changed in this way because when it’s put under pressure it still doesn’t think of itself as a person.
Murderbot doesn’t feel the same revulsion to altering its kernel as it did with its physical body, which should also feel like a point of progress, to be more open to changing itself. But unlike in Artificial Condition, these are not physical changes that end up causing it to appear/feel more like a person. It isn’t getting the same kind of reminder and reinforcement of its personhood as it did in Artificial Condition. Which leads to the conclusion of the book, when the dust settles and Murderbot has had time to think about what has happened and it admits, yeah, 2.0 was a person. Because IT is a person. Which is a lesson it already knew in theory, but is having trouble with in practice. Not only was 2.0 a person, but it was a part of itself. A part of itself died at its own hand (are these pronouns getting confusing for anyone else? No? 😂).
A big element of the following book is Murderbot having a negative reaction to what is essentially a waking nightmare about the trauma of losing a part of itself. System Collapse is a direct response to what happens in Network Effect, and I kind of wish that Network Effect and System Collapse were smushed together to make one larger book. I know that Martha Wells had a hard time writing TMBD after Network Effect, and I can see why. Network Effect ends with the highest stakes resolved, but none of the emotional fallout gets any resolution.
I mean, putting aside the whole suicide thing, it got left behind on a planet with no feed access! The only bot it ever called a friend was forced to act against it, and put the people it loves in danger! Its friend died! It’s worst nightmares came true. Even if it all turned out all right in the end, going through that kind of thing’s gotta leave some emotional scars. It’s come to the realization that there’s stuff that it doesn’t want to do (sacrifice itself to save others), but we have yet to see it actually lay down any boundaries with the people it intends to work with for the foreseeable future. Which is a shame, because I loved reading about grumpy Murderbot laying down boundaries with its PresAux people. That gave them room to show Murderbot that they were willing to make space for it. We didn’t get any of that with ART’s crew. No, actually I’m wrong. Murderbot does give them one boundary, and it’s a boundary that’s broken before the book begins: don’t send it back down to the planet.
The whole first arc of Secunit’s story has to do with it learning to set boundaries with the people it cares about. Murderbot is struggling in ways it never has before in NE/SC, and I think that goes back to the lack of boundaries it has created with ART’s crew. Which makes sense. It doesn’t know them very well and it wants to make sure they want to work with it, so that it can stay with ART. And they’re taking the lead from ART, who famously has no boundaries with Murderbot. But that works with them because ART’s not a human. Murderbot’s got baggage when it comes to humans. The flashback its traumatized brain came up with was not an Ag-bot, not some kind of representation of TargetControlSystem. It wasn’t some vague, monstrous fauna from one of its shows. It was of a human attacking it and taking away a part of itself. Consuming it.
The end of this very insightful analysis. Is. A. Gut. Punch. Sometimes I wonder if Martha Wells does this deliberately or if some part of her psyche just whispers, "This is the needed symbolism." Because some of us aren't coded to recognize what our subconscious is trying to tell us, and no doubt Murderbot is in that category. It and ART spend an inordinate amount of time trying to determine where the image that made the second part of that false memory came from. They never consider that Murderbot might have a subconscious that can just generate symbolic thought out of the part of it that is human, no need to postulate that some deleted digital memory of a past scene has come back into play via poorly accessible organic memory.
Mensah said I could learn to do anything I wanted. I learned to leave.
This may be the most important line in Exit Strategy. At first read, this may sound condescending or sarcastic, but I think it meant it literally.
Murderbot hacked its governor module, and still stayed in the company for around four years. It wasn't until after meeting PresAux, and Mensah bought it that it left.
It understood that it was safe, and it had options.
And something I love about the Pres humans is that the whole b plot of the series is them realizing how bad their cognitive dissonance was and that they are in fact just the nice slave owners of the universe. That their system based on ‘equality and freedom’ (and community is just for humans) still does perpetuate oppression/inequality and that they are now active participants in that systems continuation. I really like how simple Martha keeps it. They’re good people in a flawed unjust universe who realize if somethings gonna change they’ve gotta lead the charge. And. They. Do.
I love that it’s not on MB to educate, debate, and justify its existence and fight for its rights. I love that’s there’s no angry out for revenge bot/construct uprising plot. That the story is its personal diary entries about figuring out autonomy and what the consequences of its actions mean to it.
It’s messy, mean, prejudice. It has an outright distain/repulsion of comfortunits, a superiority complex over lower functioning bots, is terrified of relationships, and has an extremely toxic disregard for its own life. To the dismay of all around it. Books 2-5 are about it confronting those things about itself. While Presaux does all the peopleing/legaling/advocating boring stuff in the background. It doesn’t care about being a political rebellion leader or whatever. Ew. That’s way too much attention. It wants to be like the protagonists of its serials, solving murders/mysteries while f*cking over CR management whenever it can (because it doesn’t blame all of humanity for the few that actually cause the majority of harm. Even if there are a lot of sad angry assholes, but it’s a sad angry asshole too so it can’t fault them there.) And it likes doing those things.
Because it’s systems and capitalists that are the problem not all of humanity. Mb loves humanity. Well it definitely loves the things humans make (ok so pretty must just serials but still humans are necessary to make those). But even preservation humans treat bots/constructs as second class citizens. I like that story makes it clear the humans are the ones that need to reflect/act on that. That it shouldn’t have to be the oppresseds’ sole responsibility to topple/dismantle the systems of their oppression. That’s why I love presaux.
Bhardwaj making the documentary to spread awareness and the hack, Pin-Lee being its CSU legal counsel, Gurathin being down to help commit crimes with/for jt, Ratthi supporting it in social situations, Arada actually consulting it because she hired it as a trusted and qualified/skilled individual, Mensah admitting she originally hadn’t considered the depth of its autonomy and was wrong to try and decide what was best for it. Later setting boundaries to protect their friendship in their inherently unequal legal relationship/status. Because Mensah knows it well enough to know it will try to be the person she needs even if it doesn’t want to be that person. And it loves Mensah for knowing it well enough to understand that, and for respecting/caring about it to not ask it to do that, without it even needing to say so.
And it is honestly hilarious to me at how realistic/casual and in the background the portrayal of legal advocacy is. Like yeah, there’s no over night fixes, it’s gonna be a lot of rights campaigning, lobbying, like constructs = person is a whole mental a** societal paradigm shift that needs to happen. And at the end of the cycle it’s mostly gonna be money fights/legal battles. (Because the business of slavery is worth the profit and won’t be forfeited easily! Yay the cr is terrible.)
The story focusing on MB being a free-roaming security consultant/intrepid galactic explorer with its asshole gunship partner in crime instead of political drama is just so fun to me. I love the subversion away from bitter/destroy all humanity MI trope. (And moving into the but I’m still willing and able too if the price is right area) And that MB gets to experience being in an encouraging environment and actually having a support network. Where the not my problem fuck offery of it all is just: chefs kiss!!
WHO WAS GONNA TELL ME MARTHA SAID THIS??!! Gdjjsvsctcjrosbd
Martha : - ART is probably the love of Murderbot’s life, even though that’s not how they see it.
Martha: But that this is a central, it’s going to be a really important relationship, and in some ways it makes a lot more sense for Murderbot’s most important relationship – I mean, its most important relationship with a, with a human is Dr. Mensah –– but with, that it would have a relationship with, with another being who is more like it than a human is –– so that’s, that’s what – so yeah, people who see it that way are pretty correct. That was what I was thinking about when I was writing it.
I-I just can’t with this woman ❤️ Love doesn’t = romance and I’m so glad Martha clarifies it’s not how the characters see it. I think it’s really hard for people to divorce the two ideas because we only have our extremely culturally biased human perspective.
But like can we talk about how sweet it is that MB has a cannon relationship and how aroace it’s coded. That in the sh*tty universe it found genuine connection. And rather than have them swoon, or pine, or have weird sexual tension they just want to watch serials and take corporations down together. ❤️
Like imagine how new and strange it was for MB who didn’t like being around humans/bots/constructs, whose head is it’s only true place of freedom, whose used to being hyper-vigilant, anxious and angry. To being relaxed for the first time. To be surrounded by the presence of someone who makes it feel safe and comfortable. Understood.
Now you could say I just described its relationship with Mensah. But the difference with her and ART is that it let ART in by its own choice. ART didn’t force its way in when it jumped n took over the shuttle in AC, it got permission to save it first. Mensah never gave it that option, she did the human thing (and from what I’ve noticed bots/consructs typically won’t/cant/don’t stop each other from doing their function or chosen purpose ie Mikki n 2.0), and was determined to ‘save’ it because she assumed that what it wanted. It reminded me of Amena in NE when MB says it’s like she wants to kidnap Eletra and drag her back to Preservation. Good intentions but too black n white in the thinking.
But MB and ART aren’t human. They can’t do relationships like humans. A human can’t drape its presence over MBs brain when it’s anxious/upset. What would that look like? A human can’t surround, hold, and carry MB without making it uncomfortable. Who would even try (besides Arada and Ratthi)? A human can’t keep up with MB in its preferred form of communication. They just can’t. A human can’t reassure MB with their giant f*ck off debris deflection system. They wish they could. A human can’t watch serials multiple times in a row nonstop. Though plenty would try. So sure humans can code their relationship as romantic because they can’t comprehend it any other way. Rapport: friendship, solidarity, communion, empathy.
They may not have been made for each other and sometimes (mostly ART) can be a massive inconsiderate assholes but I love that they have each other. And that even if they haven’t defined their relationship they’ve accepted it and fumbling around together in it. 💚🤍🩶🖤🩶🤍💚
Fastest Growing Fandoms on AO3 This Week (12/03/2025)
Every week I pull data on how many fics are in each fandom and compare to the previous week, then calculate the percentage increase to determine fastest growing fandoms. Since this naturally skews towards smaller fandoms, I have included the same data filtered to Over 1k, 5k, & 10k fics.
I'm so excited to see Murderbot capturing people's imagination! Both The Murderbot Diaries and Murderbot TV are in the top tiers of their categories. Especially TMBD--#1 in Fastest Growing Fandom with at least 5K fics--yay!
crazypreacher tagged me, and I have to name my 5 favourite artists and tag 10 people. So…
Really? How can I decide that--my opinions change daily, if not hourly with my mood? Here are a few in a variety of categories.
Artists who put images on paper: my mother especially, but also Georgia O'Keefe, J.M.W. Turner, and M.C. Escher.
Photographers: my dad and Ansel Adams.
Composers: Jean Sibelius, Alan Hovhaness, and J.S. Bach.
Musicians/groups: Sarah Morgan (dulcimer), Leo Kottke (12-string guitar), Virgil Fox (organ), and Pink Floyd.
Glass: Dale Chilhuly, Stanislaw Wyspianski, and Sandy Sgrillo.
Writers: T.E. Lawrence (I love his work more every time I read Seven Pillars of Wisdom), Barry Lopez (Arctic Dreams), and John McPhee (Annals of the Former Earth). For fiction, Iain M Banks (the Culture series) and Martha Wells (The Murderbot Diaries).
I asked about a Murderbot meme where Murderbot complains about just wanting to be left alone and watch its favorite TV shows.
I couldn't find anything, so I created this meme in two different variants myself.
Feel free to reblog, share, whatever you like.
Saturn peeking behind the Moon, seen from the top of the Mauna Kea Volcana, in Hawaii, in September 2024. Do you realise a person on Earth took that picture. Wow.
Alexander Skarsgård, David Dastmalchian, Chris Weitz, Paul Weitz - Bts Murderbot and Sanctuary Moon - thecinepod Ig (x) (x1). Thanks to alexanderskarsgard_archive Ig (x)
"New behind-the-scenes of Alexander Skarsgård as Murderbot via The Cinematography Podcast @thecinepod!
Repost @thecinepod: NEW EPISODE! Tobias Datum: creating the sci-fi world of Murderbot.
Cinematographer Tobias Datum created Murderbot’s distinctive visual identity across different settings: space ships, alien planets and a galactic soap opera.
Listen/watch now! https://youtu.be/2RgSa8eTIYo I will link in my story. Some of the images are from the video on YouTube which includes David Dastmalchian and creators Chris Weitz and Paul Weitz.
Murderbot season one is available on @appletv now. It was renewed for season two but they haven’t started shooting yet."
I think like. The thing I keep coming back to about the Murderbot show is that I cannot remember ever seeing another tv show give an “Oh” moment to platonic love.
But my god, when Murderbot shows Mensah Sanctuary Moon to help with her panic attack. You see her look at it, and you see her realize…
Yes, she has been thinking of Murderbot as a person, that’s why she went back for it at the DeltFall habitat. But it’s all been very theoretical—the way you might help a stranger up if they fall, but that doesn’t mean you want to get to know them. It doesn’t mean you’ve reckoned with their interiority.
But as Murderbot murmurs, “Breathe, breathe, breathe the crystal light” to itself, you see it all click into place for Ayda Mensah.
This terror she’s experiencing? All-consuming and confusing and soul-crushing? SecUnit has felt this. And it had to face it alone—not just in the sense that there has never been anyone to offer it comfort, but in the sense that no one even thought that it—it as an entity, it as a being capable of fear—exists.
So it found this show. And Mensah has been so pissed at it for potentially getting them all killed because it thought a stupid fucking soap opera mattered, but oh, oh, oh fuck, this show is the only thing in the universe that has ever given it comfort. This show has offered it context and escapism and asked for nothing in return. It absolutely is critical matériel.
And that brings her to now, to herself, to herself and Murderbot. This person next to her, who she is technically in possession of, who has had to claw and scrape for even a thimbleful of peace, who was only able to protect that peace by never ever ever letting anyone know it existed. She and her team have ripped away its impossibly precious privacy, exposed its secrets… and here it is handing her part of its soul anyway, because in this moment she needs it.
Because it knows what it’s like to be scared and alone, and does not want her to feel that way.
And so she falls in love, and you get to watch it happen.
My ace ass has a lot of messy feelings about love and the way it appears on screen. Few things have hit me as hard as getting to witness the exact moment Dr. Ayda Mensah’s soul met Murderbot’s and decided it was home.
so in Rapport we learn just how shocked Peri's crew was to learn it had met a SecUnit. Iris had never even seen a SecUnit before. so the whole situation was pretty unusual. which makes Martyn's "how many SecUnit friends does Peri have?" question in Network Effect even funnier. like he just assumed Peri started collecting them after that
By the time Martyn asks that question, he's been rescued from the Barish-Estranza Explorer by Three, who delivered him and the other hostages to Perihelion and is now aboard without its armor on. Based on a message from 2.0, Three announces to Turi, Karime, and Martyn, “Perihelion sent me.” It's only logical that Martyn assumes that Three is the friend Peri told them about. So asking “How many SecUnit friends does Peri have?” when Murderbot shows up is only rational. And the answer is two, both rogues.
