Solastalgic @solastalgic - Tumblr Blog

Haiku July, Day 23

No i havent outgrown it because i had great taste at 7 years old

I can’t stop taking pictures of the porch. You can tell it’s almost August because it’s barely controlled chaos out there. But beautiful.

solastalgic

Just

Formal education has exhausted me. I never thought I’d ever say this, but it has. For you to understand just how strange this is for me, let me put modesty aside and tell you that I am a teacher’s dream. Ever since I pulled up my socks in high school I have done brilliantly. I’ve consistently brought home good marks and delivered quality work. I’ve been responsible and well behaved. I attended class. I’ve been at every awards night. The co-ordinator of my current course has actually, explicity told me that I’m her pet. However, in my last year of my undergrad, I feel like I’ve reached a point of saturation. That the system has taught me nothing new and everything that I have learnt, has been a result of extra-curricular activities and whatever else I’ve learnt through my friendships, hardships and relationships. I’ve learnt more through tumblr and books. School and college didnt teach me about race and privilege, feminism or misogyny. It didnt teach me about religion and tolerance, it didnt expand my views on science or art, because unfortunately in this world, once you pick a field, you have to stick to that, and I feel that that’s a terribly unfortunate thing. The thought of dropping out and constructively using my time to create is terribly tempting. I have so many ideas for art, for short films, for initiatives, for photos and documentaries, but instead of planning them out, I’m rephrasing sentences and proof-reading for my editing class. I’m writing articles with limited themes, because that is what is prescribed. When I do have time, I waste it, exhausted with all other demands of life. Journalism is great yes, but there’s so much more to it. And if I ever have to write an exam again, I know it’ll bore me to death. Not because I dont know what to write, but because I’m so tired of this drill.

solastalgic

twelve years later and i'm the same person! who knew! still tired, still distracted :)

What is it about this unceremonious hour, in which I must awake to write, craving pencil to paper as if some old childhood ghost of me has taken possession, awakening parts of me from my bed, crowding and crawling all over my senses, hungry to gnaw on words and bone? As dogs cry and demons lurk and mortals sleep, I write like a little girl has taken hold, the silence and loneliness of the sleeping world so comforting to us. We are an ugly monster with blood red skin and insatiable thirst. We lurk and hide, quiet and eternal. But how do we bring her out? How lovely that I am not scared any more. How precious, how sweet. Come out, my darling. I can see your dark eyes glitter.

#personal #writing

persianmom-deactivated20251026

my summer plans consist of unclenching my jaw + forgiving myself

freakoutgirl

Me when I catch myself thinking "I wonder what it's like to be chosen by somebody" but then I remember my best friend chooses to be my best friend and my mutuals choose to follow me and the minimum wage employee chooses to give me sincere kindness that I remember years later because I was going through a hard time and it meant a lot

vero-niche

adhd will get you thinking "i should make this doctors appointment" every day for 7 months and counting

vero-niche

none of us are making those appointments huh

xenosagaepisodeone

newbie asked if we're supposed to look out for 'red flags' in interlibrary loan requests in reference to a request a patron had made for a book about cannibalism. she was looking expectantly at me like she was expecting me to be equally aghast at this........girl why would you work at a library if you want to play book police

in the US we only have 3 genders. american beauty, american psycho, and american pie

friendlylycanthrope

What about American idiot

thirstghosting

well we all know which gender i am for forgetting this one

metalcatholic-deactivated202202

I just want books and tv where femininity and historical feminine clothing and roles aren’t shat on in the name of progressive feminism. If I have to read another book where the heroine complains about her corset or her dress ㅡwhich were worn by every women and unless you were a victorian socialite weren’t organ crushing torture devicesㅡ I will scream. Not every female character has to shun sewing and weaving for a sword! Women’s roles and place in past societies were already undervalued and here we go shitting on the key roles of women in the name of modern progressivism. Someday we will get our turn and our clothes, voices, and roles to be spat on by our descendants and maybe I’ll feel a bit better cause hey we kinda deserve to for what we are doing. Like yes women in historical time periods faced significant social challenges due to their gender but we don’t need to liberate them by making them into the men of that time period.