Lol I Dont Use This

I’ll answer any asks honestly if any come.

[soldierluka]

Are you annoying on purpose or does it just happen naturally

Naturally

[soldierluka]

5/4/19 Saturday

Woke up around 1 and got ready for the gym. Got to the gym around 2pm with my roomie. Did chest press, abdomen, and 35 mins of running. Feels real good that I’m being able to keep this up. After the gym, drove to pick up my buddy J, then stopped to get Taco Bell.

Got home and ate my “brunch” of Taco Bell, and went with J to buy some tactical clothes. We both needed some for cosplays. The first place we checked was closed for good but google got our back and we found another. I brought some pants and boots. It hurt the wallet pretty bad but I shouldn’t have to buy theses ever again so it seems pretty worth. On the way back home we stopped at McDonalds to get J some food.

Hung out with J and my roomie for a bit. Played lots of Tekken and Tekken bowling, which was a blast. Eventually the homies got on psn and started the party so I drove J back home and enjoyed talking with the boys.

Chick tried hiring up my roomie again but he was so tired from hitting the gym that the last thing he wanted to do was go out. Also I wasn’t contacted again. Seems like saying “I need some space” finally got through to her.

[soldierluka]

5/3/19 Friday

Missed my workout. Went to work as usual. But had some extra instructions for my first account that made it take 30 more minutes. Drove to the second one. Knocked it out. Preordered the special edition of FE Three Houses.

That chick didn’t hit me up all day which was a relish. But she was trying to get me roomie to pick her up to hang but luckly for me, he’s hella lazy and didn’t. Nice.

Spent the rest of the night playing PS4 talking to my bros. Was a good day.

[soldierluka]

5/2/19 Thursday

Slept in really late. 4:45pm late lol but it is what it is. Decided that I won’t respond to that chick today cuz I said yesterday that I needed space. Got up at 5pm, eat some of my mothers delicious soup while watching YouTube vids till I worked.

Started work at 6:40pm. My helper was a bit late cuz her daughter got in a car crash. Apparently she hydroplaned into a truck then into some palm tress in the medium. Luckily for her, the tree stopped her from going into oncoming traffic. She’s alive. Got some swelling in her legs and a tear on her eye but overall she’ll recover. Her truck was totally tho.

Anyways, work was the usual for the most part. Had to do some different stuff at the first account but we accidentally left our floor cleaner there. Didn’t realize till we got to the second account. Finished the second account and went back to get the cleaner before going to the last place. During the drive, that chick called me but I didn’t answer. I need my space. I made it clear over and over. Did that last place, and went home to talk to my home boy on psn.

Talked and listened to Logics new single Homicide. It was straight 🔥🔥🔥. Played some Tekken then did laundry.

[soldierluka]

5/1/19 Wednesday

Happy 1st of May everyone! My day started with waking up real late, and playing Tekken for a few hours. Been picking up Devil Jin. It’s been a blast learning another Mishima. Even made another psn friend, a Brian player. So that’s cool.

I ate some lasagna, when watched YouTube vids before work. Went to work at 8pm. Did two accounts by myself and met up with my mother for the last one. The girl that’s been messaging me slowed down a bit, but only a bit. I don’t want to just cut her off completely cuz honestly she needs more positive ppl in her life but man is it stressing me a bit. Between the last to accounts I did, I tried my best to reply to her and try to make myself even more clear but I can only say so much before I gotta be mean about it. Let’s hope it doesn’t get to that point.

Finished the last account with my mother and drove home. On the way, picking up some Wendy’s 4 for 4s for both of us. Got home, ate my Wendy’s than waited for my roomie to get home so we can go to the gym. I missed my usual Monday so I decided to make it up today. Move my usual Wednesday workout to Friday. And move my usual Friday workout to Saturday. Did upper body today. Felt pretty good. And it seems like I’m making steady gains 💪. Got home, and showered. Now imma play FEH in bed till I knock out. Pretty solid day I think.

[soldierluka]

4/30/19 Tuesday

Woke up late af (like 2 or 3pm) and stayed in bed all day till work. I didn’t want to do anything. Just lied in bed watching YouTube. Ignoring more messages from the same chick. Around 5pm my bro made some hotdogs for me. They were pretty good. Then when time came, I got ready and when to work.

While working I listened to some Destiny Debates. They’re pretty interesting. Work was the usual but again, getting message after message. During a small break I had, I replied to her and tried again to make the record straight, in the most polite way I can. Hopefully things will calm down. The break ended and I had one more account to go to. Did that and when home. Ate some cheese it’s and talked to my best bro about this whole thing on psn. He agreed this is wild.

[soldierluka]

4/29/19 Monday

So today is my day off of work. My chill day. My relax and do whatever I want day.

My roommate invited me to see Avengers Endgame with his old coworkers at 2pm. So I woke up at 12, got dressed and headed out at 1:15ish since the theater is about a 30 minute drive from home. We made it to the theater and I met my roomie’s old coworkers. There were all really cool, chill ppl. We go in and I order a large popcorn with a drink, fully aware that I’ll have to pace myself on the soda because I don’t want to have to pee during this 3 hour film. And I successfully got through without having to pee LOL #NoSpoilers but the movie was great. Even for me, as someone who hasn’t seen most of the marvel films. After the Endgame, 4 of the 7 of us decide to eat at Flanagan’s. I had a lot of popcorn so all I had to order was some garlic rolls. I wasn’t exactly hungry. It was a nice meal, was chill talking to the guys.

My roomie and I start driving home after eating. It’s about 6:30pm at this point. On the way home we picked up my buddy J. Every other Monday, a place in Miami called House of Roots: Kava, has a Project M smash tournament, that I love to go. I switch to my car with my PM setup and drive off to Kava to play. On the way there I talk to J about the girl from the last post. This whole day, she was sending message after message after message. I didn’t respond at all cuz I doing stuff in my reality. I’m busy doing my thing. If I wasn’t sure before, I am now. She’s too much. It’s stressing me out. But I try not to think about it too much cuz I’m going to Kava to play my favorite game with some great ppl. At Kava, I setup and just sit down and play for hours. Just enjoying myself. At midnight is when J and I drive back home. Again this girl was messaging me over and over while I was at Kava. I explain to J on the ride home that, I need to cut this off. It’s getting out of hand. He just wished me luck in this whole thing.

After dropping J home, I drive to the bank to deposit some cash. After that, I parked and finally responded to her after not saying a word all day. Trying to be as upfront but not hurtful as possible. Not exactly sure if it went well yet.

But surprise surprise, during that my Ex hit me up. She was going through some tough times and didn’t want to be alone. So I immediately went to pick her up. Not much of her other friends are up passed 1am like me. We park somewhere away from her house and just talk. Most of it was her crying about what she’s going through. She needed to let it out and she needed someone around her. Tbh I’m pretty bad at consoling ppl but I try my best. We were in my car for about an hour then decide we should eat. I didn’t even realize it but all I had to eat was the popcorn and the garlic rolls. That’s it. So since it’s 2am we decide to eat in at Steak n Shake. Was a nice little dinner for both of us. She told me it was the first full meal she had in weeks, if not, months. After eating and paying I take her back home. I ask her if she wants a hug, and she says ya, and starts to lean over the center console. And I go “naw I mean a real hug” so I walk out of my car and hug her standing up. It was a nice hug. After a few minutes of hugging she says “is it too much to ask for a kiss?” And I say “yes.” And she goes “oh ok”. Then tries to tease me a bit about a previous convo we had where I said if we were to mess around, I wouldn’t get feelings. I’m staying to my convictions. I can’t. Plus, last we talked she was talking to a dude and cut it off.

She told me to text her when I got home. So I drove home, but I really wanted to just drive and sing. Get my mind off of the stress. I text her, that I made it home but in reality I drove passed home and kept going. I drove extra fast and sung Panic! At The Disco songs with all of my heart. Filled up my gas tank. And finally got home at 3:30am.

[soldierluka]

4/28/19 Sunday (day late but whatever)

So girl that came on to me really messaged me multiple times throughout the night. It was a bit much. But I woke up, messaged back a bit, barely ate before heading to work.

Work was the usual. Cleaning 8 different offices while listening to my favorite podcasts, PKA and PCP. But while working she messaged me saying she can’t wait till I finish work. Sent pics and vids too. Liking a lot of my IG posts, and FB posts too. Honestly was getting more and more much. But I ignored it since I got work to do. After work I got my usual Chipotle burrito for dinner. This was around 7pm. Ate it and hung out with her like I said I would at 8:30pm. Told her I couldn’t stay too late, mainly cuz I was tired from working all day.

Had to park on the side walk and get snuck in. Talked a bit. Made out a bit. It was nice. I was there till about 11pm then drove home. While I was driving home she texted me “get home safe” “sorry” “I feel I’m too much of a different person then you” “you’re a happy person” “night luv” all before I got home. This is only a 15 minute drive. I responded with “I just made it home. I try my best to keep a positive attitude. But I see what you mean. Anyways, imma try to rest” and I played FEH and Tekken a bit before sleeping. Again all this is pointing to that is isn’t healthy for me and probably not her either. It’s again, a bit much.

[soldierluka]

4/27/19 Saturday

Woke up hella late. 3pm to be exact. Today was supposed to be a chill day off but it got wild by the end.

Went over to my fathers place to mow the lawn. This was my only obligation today. Wasn’t too bad expect the burning FL sun. After that I went home and took a shower. I was texting my friend and she asked to come over. I said sure but after I take care of my dads lawn. So I messaged back after showering and got no response. Was pretty weird but eh, what can you do right? I wasn’t gonna stress about it or annoy her.

So I just chilled at home watching comedy specials and YouTube while I ate ramen. My roommate hits me up “yo can I bring a friend over?” And I said sure. He brings a girl that I knew from years ago. Like 8, 9 years ago. And she didn’t recognize me. This isn’t a surprise cuz I had a baby face and long hair back then. So I pull up a old photo of me from 10th grade, and she recognized me. We chill, and talk while I play some Tekken.

At some point she starts talking to me with paper. And she was very straight forward. She found me attractive and legit wanted my dick. I didn’t know what to do really cuz I just remeet this girl and I’m not used to really anyone finding me attractive. But we continue to talk, her through writing and me just answering aloud. I was making her blush cuz I found her cute too. eventually we kiss a bit. And she just couldn’t talk her lips off of me. It was wild. When it was time to take her home, she wanted me to take her, not my roomie who brought her here. So I did. And I hung at her place for a bit. Talking and making out a little. She smoked some weed which I didn’t take part in. Just not something I want to get into. Eventually I treated us to Taco Bell. Talking in the car and I left her place. Honestly pretty speechless. But my mundane life some how remains interesting.

[soldierluka]

4/26/19 Friday

Had like 3 hrs of sleep last night. I’m incredibly tired. Anyways, no sleep, woke up, paid my homie some money to detail my beautiful car. She did a great job. Worth the money. Tho it did take slightly longer than I thought. Afterwards I went straight to the gym for my Friday workout. Chess press, abdominal, and 35 mins of cardio. Pulled through, despite my distaste of cardio. Because the car detailing took longer than expected, I had to immediately change my gym clothes and go into my work clothes and just work. Worked from 6pm to about 11pm and finished really tired. Luckily had some Taco Bell for dinner after work.

After eating, I hit up my friend who was supposed to go to the gym but ended up not going because “stuff happened”. I asked if she were alright, so she decided to come over to let us know what happened. She’s been going through the ringer so I’m just trying my best to be there for her. After all of that, we just chilled and talked and shared music with each other. Was nice and I was mostly smiles. While that was all happening, she drank a whole bottle of wine. So eventually at like 3am, I drove her using her car home, and my roommate followed to drive me back.

Did all of that with only 3 hours of sleep. Tbh if she didn’t come over I would have knocked out at like 4 hours ago (midnight).

Overall day tho, not too bad. Mostly productive.

[soldierluka]

4/25/19 Thursday

Pretty chill day. Just slept in from a wild dream, got lunch for the family, and went to work. Listened to Destiny debate about region in politics while working and now just enjoying playing FEH in bed. Really lovely. Also scheduled my car getting detailed tomorrow

[soldierluka]

4/24/19 Wednesday

Wanted to be alone these past two days. Not really talk to more ppl than I needed to. Was a nice refresher. Trying to be introspective after all that has happened.

Did my normal workout at the gym which is good. And drank plenty of water.

Was still feeling over all meh but I got a surprise call from my Uncle. It was the pick me up I needed. Even tho the convo was short, it was nice. I really love my family. They’re way too good to me. Idk what I would do without their undying love and support.

[soldierluka]

4/23/19 Tuesday

Really should’ve stuck to my convictions early on. Cuz sure at the start, it was nice but ended up sour. And now I gotta deal.

[soldierluka]

4/22/19 Monday

Lately been feeling I’m literal garbage. With little to no redeeming qualities.

[soldierluka]

4/21/19 Sunday

I made a silly post about my first not very eventful tinder experience. Long story short I was ghosted. But was unmatched specifically when I ask “if you normally ignore ppl”. Yea I was kinda rude but I just wanted any answer. And tbh, that unmatching was better than being left in limbo. Cuz it was an answer in if of itself. That post got way more comments by my friends than almost anything I ever posted. Some with helpful advice, sharing their experiences, or opinion on the app in general. And some just making me feel like I’m stupid. That my actions were flawed. And sure it was probably dumb but like damn, it was literally my first match. Not exactly gonna know “Tinder Etiquette” on my first match. Fuck.

[soldierluka]

Wow it’s been a while since I posted anything here.

I’m finding it harder and harder to maintain a positive attitude when I get put down by ppl I care about offen. I know they mean well. I’m just not taking it as intended. I’m just trying my best and when I share my experience or decision making, it’s just never the right one.

I would cry but I haven’t cried since 2013 maybe? Like after going through actual depression, crying every other day, I just can’t anymore. Despite how my emotions go. And wanting to let it flow. Idk man. I can’t. My body won’t let me.

[briceratops]

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