gods silliest lycanthrope

"and all my devotion turns violent." - Wenclair Enthusiast

[the-vitalist]

WARHOUND by Kallidora Rho, narrated by me.

support @kallidora-rho by buying her book here.

check her out on Bluesky here.

this is my first time recording anything, so let me know if anything's busted and i'll try to fix it.

if people end up enjoying this, i'll try to record more narrations moving forward.

it was really cool to see people get excited for this! love to all <3

[what-even-is-thiss]

The upside to the adhd forgetting that you made yourself a drink thing is thinking to yourself “man I could go for a drink right now” and looking to your right and seeing a drink has appeared there. Thank you, past me. I lost you somewhere but you have still provided.

[homunculus-argument]

I think the funniest dynamic for arranged-marriage royalty would be a queen who came here 100% prepared to murder her future husband and rule as a widow queen in her own right, only to discover that the king is autistic as hell and responds to her wish to rule with "oh thank god please do, I don't want to be bothered by these people. I can just tell them to go bother you instead, if you really want that. I've got beetles I wanted to study."

[stele3]

"I'm really not good at it," the king admits with horrible, aching grief. The country is in disarray. Peasants go hungry. Nobles trade power amongst themselves with impunity.

So the queen takes over and ruthlessly sets things to rights. Fires several generals, hangs nobles, redirects wealth to the peasantry. It isn't long before the first assassination attempt, which she expected.

She did not expect her docile, beetle-obsessed husband to go absolutely feral and fling himself at the assassins wielding a pair of sharp knives.

[stele3]

Also, the beetles are intended to attack and kill a certain type of invasive worm that has been killing off the gourd and potato crops for decades. He’s been trying since he was a child to crossbreed several native species to be hardier and better diggers. When he finally gets it right it’s all over for you bitches (“you bitches” being mass starvation of subsistence farmers).

[stele3]

The Queen says she’ll negotiate a trade deal with a neighboring country that has also suffered from the worm blight and her husband stares at her for a long moment.

“No,” he finally says. “We’re going to give them the beetles for free.”

The Queen pauses.

“All right,” she says.

[the-muppet-joker]

Imagine working as a clown, and you're absolutely bombing your performance. You're juggling your balls all over the floor, you're slipping on your own little clown props, you're honking your little nose without even meaning to. And no one is laughing. There's only one person in the audience. His clown makeup is far more handsom than yours. His purple suit is tight, leaving nothing to the imagination. He green hair. The Joker walks over, leans over your frail clown body, sneering. "Not very funny," he chuckles darkly. You honk meekly, presenting your Clown Hole in submission as you are overwhelmed by his superior clown pheromones and musk. And then. And then he pulls it out. He pulls out his j

[keikomivra]

WEDNESDAY | 1.06: QUID PRO WOE

[scleroticstatue]

Yes, that is my circus, and, yes, those are my monkeys, but I am not on shift yet.

[the-beard-of-edward-teach]

[cheezder]

[dogpuppy]

[woeful-maiden]

making a collection

[dogpuppy]

[tilthat]

TIL in 1896 a temporary, one-day city was named in Texas called Crush, where two locomotives were to be smashed head-on for purposes of spectacle. It was, for a few hours, the 2nd largest city in TX with 40k attendees. The collision caused engine boilers to explode, resulting in death and injuries.

via reddit.com

[justthesource]

source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crush,_Texas

[mangonetics]

you could just do shit back then

[pyomorphic]

texas is still like this

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

[snowriddenwolf]

[dogfluid-deactivated20181205]

[raelystarr-houndprincess]

Now i never got into the whole fucking robots / wireplay stuff, but damn, you can't say there isn't something deeply erotic about the relationship between pilot and mech.

You are INSIDE it, you feel the rumbling and purring of it's engines and generators, when you push the right lever you can feel the weight of it's giant frame shift, when its damaged you experience it's strain, you FEEL this machine, so overwhelmingly enormous compared to your soft body, and you control it's interior with care but also vicious ferocity, you KNOW how much it can take, and you're ready to push it to it's limits if the need arises.

DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON NERUAL LINKS THAT'S JUST EVIL ROBOT SEX AND YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

Also mechs are just hot lets be honest here

[squishysphealgirls]

"you understand" is a common phrase exchanged between perverts

[recordstore]

i don’t understand how anything works i just walk through life terrified

[evilnicegirl]

this would have got 100k notes as a tumblr post in 2018

[imadrian98]

Mechsploitation is seemingly built to appeal to neurodivergent freaks like me. You have some things going for you, but that comes at the cost of missing things everyone else seems to understand intuitively. So, you mask. Pretend to be human. You can convince the others that you're actually super competent. You're an Ace. You're a hero.

But that's a lie, and it's killing you. Sooner or later, you break. The mask can't go back on. Your true self has been ripped from your core for all to see.

"That's okay," says Handler. "You're better off like this, anyway."

She took that ridiculous mask you were wearing, and in its place, She put a muzzle. A mark of inhumanity. Just so. Of course you're not human. What human would be missing such core concepts? What human would be this obsessed with something? No, She knows the truth, and now She'll show it to you. She'll teach you how to be yourself. She'll guide you away from the prying demands of others. She's all you have to think about. Just be a good hound and She'll guide you.