I'm tired, I'm so tired. I'm done trying to find you at the end of a cigarette or an empty beer bottle. Nothing feels the same as your lips touching mine or our hands intertwined.
solounarosa
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@solounarosa
I'm tired, I'm so tired. I'm done trying to find you at the end of a cigarette or an empty beer bottle. Nothing feels the same as your lips touching mine or our hands intertwined.
solounarosa
“You were always stronger than me, braver than me. I tried my best to keep up with you as you ventured further than the shallow waters but I didn’t yet know how to swim. I clung to your sleeve like a lifeline as the waves tossed us around and you kept me safe, like you always promised. In the back of my mind though, as much as you kept me afloat I knew I was always, always dragging you under.”
— solounarosa
It must feel good to be loved like that
By someone who picks you flowers on their walks just to have something to give you when they get back
Someone who brings you your favourite snacks because you've had a hard day at work
Someone who stays up later just to send you a long message to wake up and smile at
Someone who tells you to drive safely and to send a text when you get home
Yeah, it must feel good to be loved like that
You know, the way that I love you.
~solounarosa
I think, therefore I am (exhausted)
Emily St. John Mandel, Station Eleven
this
I hate that I can't sleep because you're not snoring next to me when at first that noise kept me up all hours of the night.
I hate that I never want to go to any of the places we went including the bloody supermarket just because I don't want to see you down every aisle in my memory.
I hate that you changed me and then you left. I hate that I can't get your voice out of my head. And worst of all? I hate that I can't remember all the lonely nights you put me through. I only remember how it felt to think I'd found my home in a man that never wanted me.
You live rent free in my head and I hate that I signed the lease.
I pray for the day that I finally stop hating you. Because then I'll have finally stopped loving you.
Sometimes when you look at me, I feel like you don't see me at all
You glimpse the parts of the girl you want me to be, the almost
But your soul doesn't recognize mine
Not after 100 good mornings, sleepy kisses, not after you pull me closer when we sleep side by side, your breath tickling my ear
Because I'm not just the laugh you love to hear
I'm not just the phone call you long for after a hard day, telling you I'll be home soon
I'm the crying at 4am, desperately fighting to fill the emptiness that threatens me every night, telling me it's only a matter of time until it swallows me whole
I'm the scars on my thighs, the trying on 17 different outfits before I can look in the mirror
I'm the loves you with her whole heart but that heart is tattered and bruised girl
I'm the not just the parts you want to see, tired girl
solounarosa
some days i think it’s better that you don’t know how much i actually like you but on other days i wanna look you dead in the eye and tell you about every little thing that made me think of you
I know I miss you because it happens in daylight. When I’m driving down a road with a view and the sun is hitting me, I think of how good you’d look beside me. And how great your laugh would sound, joining me when I’m out with friends. Or how much warmer the bed would be with you in it.
- S.A // I miss you even when I’m not lonely
You see, as a child I learned that love was sharp edges and hidden agendas
Love was being held with icy fingertips that left frostbite in the deepest parts of me
Honey-dripped words stain the walls of your house and you long for me to stay there
But I feel as though gentle souls such as yours aren't made for broken pieces like me
solounarosa
It's just that, the people who are supposed to love you unconditionally, leave. The people who are supposed to protect you can hurt you the most. How can I give all my love when you may decide I'm not what you want? But how can you stay unless I give you all my love?
solounarosa
I feel too small for the world tonight,
But that's okay.
Sometimes i like the thought of travelling the earth unnoticed.
You have sadness living in places sadness shouldn't live.
— Rupi Kaur, Milk and Honey
“to the girl that lives in the flowers: never stop creating your own worlds”
— e.e.