You are Cassie Scarlet. After 3 days of sheer insanity that has called your entire world view into question, you are stumbling towards your beloved cousinâs confederate made mansion after you were just forced to imprison your crush (who is a 7â 2â coming of the Antichrist) in his motherâs ableist dungeon. The local HOA (which is run by dogs) (who you can understand) tells you that the woman you despise (who desperately wants to fuck you) who you spent all day looking for in an attempt to impress her cool goth best friend (it did not work) is not in fact murdered at the hands of the rotting corpse of your cousinâs boyfriend. Traumatized as you are, you shoot her a text and call it a day. You wake up in the remains of your familyâs torture basement, courtesy of said rotting corpse, who tells you your cousin is going to sacrifice you at a town barbecue on Sunday in order to keep her position as a coal baron. You decide this isnât quite a deal breaker. You tearfully ask your cousin (who up to this point has not only sacrificed 20 years of her lifespan for you, but also leapt into dangers countless times to protect you from harm) if she plans to confine you to the torture basement (she does), and learn to your dismay that she is a lesbian. Dismay, because the woman who previously wanted to fuck you had decided she would rather relive the glory days of highschool from the inside of your cousinâs loins and enable her worst impulses while you sit in the metaphysical cuck cell. They proceed to promise you A) a piss bucket and B) a succulent if you promise not to resist going into the torture hole. You arenât really into this idea. After being dragged into a jail cell, and then into a basement where the only normal person in town dies at the hands of a geriatric single father (who kills himself in front of you, his dying friend, a dying cop, you, and his abominable pumpkin baby), you wind up in an endless void wherein the most selfless, beautiful goth woman (who rightfully hates you for being second fiddle to your cousinâs devil in Georgia) you have ever met is hell bent on fusing with an evil MILF in order to kill an ancient evil your family summoned to win the Civil War (good news, they didnât win, bad news, they were the ones who didnât win). You have only a moment to bemoan the symbolism of a Black woman being forced to carry this burden before your cousin (team captain of the âPut Cassie In The Holeâ squad) who threatened you with a shotgun 45 minutes ago, announces she is now ready to reconsider her position on condemning your soul and mortal body to the torture basement. You then recall the name of Satan you saw scrawled in your great-auntâs blood, and use it to summon the Milfâs dead daughters, who summarily eat her poor and regurgitate it into the goth woman you desperately want the approval of. You are not given the time to worry about whether this is an act of white saviourship or not, because you are promptly spat out into a pit of rusted metal and hypodermic syringes. You are Cassie Scarlet, and you have achieved a world state that only 2% of players could dream of.
