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Did You Come? – Matthew Tkachuk

Requested: Yes ∆ No

Author’s Note: Angst, infidelity, and adult content below, enter at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.6k

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Was she good? Just what you liked? Did you come? How many times?

I used to be smart, I swear.

I was logical and calculating. I made pro and con lists, had five and ten-year plans. I thought things out. Some called me rigid; I called it goal-oriented and it had been working out for me.

Then I met Matthew and I became an idiot.

The worst part is I loved every moment of it.

I loved the spontaneity, how I had to loosen up and go with the flow of his far more unpredictable schedule. I loved the tweaks I made in my ten-year plan to fit around him.

I spent years swearing I would never be the type of woman who would change for a man and yet here I was about to tell a man I was willing to pick up my entire life and move 4,000 km for him and his dreams.

I really was smart once, I swear.

But now I’m in front of a foreign house with a pros and cons list that just has one pro: because you love him. And that pro outweighed everything else.

I finally build up the courage to ring the doorbell, happy it doesn't have a camera. I wait for a minute before trying again. I look at my phone, wondering if the time change has turned me around and he’s not at home. That there’s a game or practice I didn’t account for.

But before I can berate myself for not quadruple checking my plans, a shirtless Matthew opens the door.

The daily sun exposure has been good to him, his golden skin makes me want to cry. I didn’t realize how much my body had ached to be near him and I throw myself into his arms before he even has time to react.

I squeeze him so tightly, like I can’t believe he’s real or that if I let go, he’ll disappear like a mirage. I squeeze tighter to keep my mind off sobbing.

“Babe, you’re suffocating me,” he finally chokes out and I let go, embarrassed.

I pull back and smile, the speech I had rehearsed already forgotten as my brain turns to goo around him.

“What are you doing here?” He runs a hand through his hair, which is messier than usual even with his curls kept short.

“I wanted to surprise you,” I swallow before I can admit the rest, trying to gauge his stoic expression.

“I– I want to move down here,” I put on a brave face, I want to show how sure I am about this.

“Seriously?” a smirk turns into a grin.

I can’t speak, my voice is certain to crack, so I nod instead.

“You’re gonna love it down here, it’s so different from Calgary but it’s great. And I’ll help you figure out how you can take the bar down here and we’ll find you a new firm and–“

I cut him off with a kiss. It’s the first we’ve shared since we packed up the last of his boxes in Calgary and you could tell in how quickly it becomes heated.

My tongue explores his mouth as if I’d find something new after all these months and he’s pulling me closer and closer as if he could merge our bodies by force.

I have to pull away because I feel woozy but I can’t bear the separation for too long. I move my lips along his jaw towards his ear.

“I missed you so much.”

I bite his ear lobe and hear him growl, primal and low, in response. He picks me up in a flash and before I can even register the layout of his place, I’m on my back in his bed.

“I can’t believe you’re really here,” he has a wolfish smile as he hovers above me, but there’s sincerity dripping from his tone.

He kisses me firmly and I feel my bones melting as he moves down my body.

“I never thought you’d come,” he whispers against my collar bone and I’m the one who moves to get my shirt off.

“Eager, are we?” He laughs at my hands already working their way down to my pants.

I can’t even think of a good response.

Because I’m an idiot now.

So instead, I just nod. Desperate for his touch, his attention, his praise. He’s suddenly my sun and my world revolves around him.

“I think I can do something about that.”

He moves my hands and pins them over my head with one hand and pushes his other under my waistband. He kisses me gently as his fingers brush against my soaked underwear and I can feel his cocky smirk against my lips. I can feel my blood leaving my brain.

“It’s been a while, huh?” he takes his sweet time dipping his fingers in, “no one knows how to touch you like this.”

I can only let out a whimper in response. He’s right, my vibrator can only do so much.

“Let me show you how happy I am that you’re here.”

He moves between my aching legs and suddenly I’m exposed as I can feel his hot breath and it takes all my will power to not just shoves his face in there.

“Matty please,” I hate how desperate I sound.

Usually, he likes to tease things out, make me fall apart until I’m begging. But it’s been months and I’m making that pretty obvious so he gives in pretty quickly. I almost let out a sigh of relief when his lips wrap around my clit.

I thread my hands in his curls and try to focus on the individual sensations to make this last, but I’m overstimulated. I squeeze my thighs against his head and find myself orgasming far too quickly.

“Fuck, that was hot,” Matt rests his head on my thigh and looks up at me, pupils blown out.

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No need to be sorry,” he kisses my thigh, “cause there’s more where that came from, once I catch my breath.”

I have just enough time to run a hand lovingly through his hair and slow my heartrate to an acceptable level before he begins his second assault.

I can keep my thoughts straight this time around, at least for the time being. I can focus on the feeling of his tongue and the pressure of his suction and how his fingers curl just so inside of me.

I throw my head back and notice a hair tie sitting on the bedside table, the side that would be mine. In the moment my brain is flashing red flags, but another part of me thinks that Taryn was probably here at some point, and another part of my brain feels Matt nip at my clit and curl his fingers in the perfect way.

That last part wins out and all I can do is ride out the waves of pleasure and roll my eyes into the back of my head.

Have I mentioned I’m an idiot?

We wake up several hours and orgasms later, Matthew’s head on my chest. He says he missed falling asleep to the sound of my heartbeat.

I carefully slip out from under him and take stock of his new place. I start in the kitchen since I haven’t eaten since I got here. His fridge is mostly bare except for some sports drinks and coconut water and beer.

Thankfully, Matthew has a bit of a sweet tooth and there’s ice cream in the freezer. Not the most nutritious refuel, but I’m too euphoric to really think about it.

I survey the place now; it clearly has had a woman’s touch. I suspect Chantal had a big hand in that like she had in Matthew’s old place. But it’s still a little too put together, without any intervention he’s been known to get a bit messy. I remember insisting on spending time in my much tidier home early on in the relationship.

I peek out his curtains to see the backyard, there are a couple of plants by the pool I know he couldn’t keep alive on his own.

“Going out there naked?” I jump at Matthew’s voice.

“As fun as sunburning my vag sounds,” I laugh and feed him a spoonful ice cream.

He wraps his arms around me and I feel like this could be home.

We spend the rest of the day lazily wrapped in each other. The heat has died down but it’s not any less intimate. Any excuse to be close and touch we take. My heart aches thinking about all the time we spent apart because I had to think it through and not just dive in headfirst.

Things already feel pretty normal when I’m getting ready to go to a game the next day. Going through the motions feels so familiar though I need far fewer layers, which makes me feel a bit naked as I take an Uber to the rink.

I eventually find my way to the family suite and am greeted by a familiar scene and a familiar face.

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you were coming to town!”

I’m wrapped into the tight embrace of Sam Bennett’s girlfriend, Maeve, our time together only briefly overlapped but we had instantly bonded over being born and raised Alberta babes. Another piece of home.

“I kind of surprised Matthew.”

“I’m sure it was a hell of a surprise, how long are you here?”

“Forever?”

Her smile falters for a second, “No shit. I guess I never thought getting you out of Calgary was an option.”

“I didn’t really either,” I shrug as a knot begins to tighten in my stomach.

“I’m really happy you’re here though,” she squeezes my hand before pulling me towards some of the other women, who have not-so-discreetly been trying to figure out how I fit in.

“Guys, this is Matthew’s –– girlfriend,” Maeve’s pause between her last two words makes me uncomfortable.

“Oh?” One woman speaks up before a list of names is rattled off and I can’t get out of my head enough to remember any of them.

There’s a tension in the suite and I can tell it’s not about the game, although that’s fairly close. I try and ignore it by keeping the focus off me, just making small talk and catching up with Maeve.

Halfway through the second period another woman walks into the suite. She’s tall, tan, and maybe a bit overdressed for a hockey game, even by some WAG standards. She silently acknowledges the group before taking a seat.

Then I feel everyone’s eyes on me and I feel desperately out of the loop. I look over to Maeve with a blank stare, hoping for some clarification.

“That fucking bastard,” she says under her breath but loud enough for me to understand exactly what’s going on now.

Like I said, I’m a fucking idiot.

“Let’s go get a drink,” she says dragging me out of the suite, a buzz of whispers from the other women growing distant.

I’m surprised when we actually start standing in a drink line, but everything feels so surreal I can’t really comprehend anything.

Maeve orders two drinks and hands me one, I down it in one go.

“I’m so sorry,” her eyes are glossy and I don’t know how I’m not crying, not collapsing on the floor.

“I– I– I guess I don’t get it,” my words haven’t caught up with where my brain is already.

“I didn’t even realize you guys were still together. I mean, I don’t think the girl is that serious, but still.”

When I don’t respond she tries to fill the space, “I can take you back to Matt’s place and get your stuff. You can stay with me and Sam until you get a flight or whatever.”

I swallow hard around the thick ball of despair lodged in my throat.

“No,” I croak out, “I need to see him.”

Maeve just nods and we go back to the family suite and I act like nothing happened. I pretend the other woman doesn’t exist.

Maeve holds my hand the whole time.

We go down by the locker room when the game ends, we hang towards the back of the group.

Sam comes out and grins when he sees me. I can’t help but smile and relish the big bear hug he gives me. Then he sees what Maeve already sees: Matthew comes out of the locker room and the other woman practically throws herself at him, hanging off of him as she gives him a sloppy kiss.

Matthew pulls away as fast as he can, like somehow that will make her not exist.

His face crumples when he finally makes eye contact with me.

Finally, the smart person within me takes over. I march right up to him and smack him across the face. The sound reverberates in the hallway and I turn to walk away before I can see anyone’s reactions.

I don’t really know where I’m going, but I hear footsteps chasing after me and I know it’s Matthew.

“Baby,” he says as he takes hold of my wrist.

“Just take me back to your place Matthew, so I can get my stuff and get the fuck out of here.”

He thinks for a moment like he’s going to say something, but instead he just leads me to his car.

“Was she good? Did she make you come the way you like?” I sneer at him once he puts the car into drive.

He lets out a heavy and shaky sigh.

“You said you’d give me time to think about this, about us,” I don’t want to give him the satisfaction of my tears but I can only fight my body so much.

“Is this what giving me time means to you? Fucking someone else?”

He doesn’t say anything for a long while and I realize we’re parked in his driveway. I look over to see the redness from my slap blooming across his cheek, I take some pride in that.

“You hadn’t made any progress in months and you didn’t give me any signs that would change.”

“So, that makes this, okay? It’s my fault you found someone else?”

“Fuck, no, that’s not what I mean. I just never saw a world where you actually came down here and things with Casey just sort of happened.”

There’s something in the way he actually says her name that feels like an extra stab.

“She isn’t just a fuck buddy, is she?”

He shakes his head, “But–“

“No! You don’t get to justify things. You had a million chances to end it with me or tell me you didn’t want to be exclusive or literally anything else and you didn’t. I loved you so much I was willing to uproot my entire existence for you and you couldn’t even give me the decency of being honest.”

“I love you too.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

I stuff the few things I’ve taken out back into my bag, wanting to get out of here as soon as I can. But I leave my pros and cons list on the bed before I storm out.

I hope reading it keeps him up at night. Remembering how much I was willing to give up for him and how selfish he was instead. I hope my handwriting haunts him.

And maybe that makes me an idiot.

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