Ma'am please bestow upon me your amazing smut writing ways! 😩Your smut scenes are always top tier and I'm so jealous! I feel like all of my smut writing ends up turning out sounding the same.
Awwwh Lau 🥹🥹 Thank you babe, that’s so sweet of you - you’re so kind to me ♥️
And I was going to joke that I have no idea how I do it (and that is true to an extent - lots of it just happens in the moment!) but real talk, writing smut is one of the things I find MOST difficult in writing. It’s so time consuming to get it right, or it is for me anyway!
But here’s how I try and approach it… apologies I’m chatty and this got a bit long but I hope it’s useful to you and others!
Alex’s Guide To Writing Smut
Understand the context
1. What’s the vibe? Why are they having sex?
Is it angry/angsty/longing/needy/soft/sweet/something else I can’t think of right now? How are the characters arriving into the smut, because it totally shapes how you think about the tone of the scene and how the actual act will play out. Angry rough fucking is not the same as soft, we just woke up and I need you again sex. And that doesn’t need a tonne of exposition to set out in the story but you, the author, need to know where it’s coming from.
2. What’s their relationship?
Like above, sex between people who have been together for ages is different from sex with someone new(ish). Of course you can still surprise each other in a long term relationship but new relationships are all about discovery. And this affects how they communicate during the act itself, and how comfortable they might be together (as well as in voicing likes and dislikes). Also, a one night stand won’t be the same as a pairing who are a couple, and not all of those are born equal - is it a one night of fun or is that we only have one night, because we shouldn’t/can’t do this, but I love you? Those bring very different energies!
Creating scenes that feel ‘real’
4. Limbs logistics
This is the stuff that takes me the longest because I’m a weirdo and I like to be able to properly picture who and what’s where at any given moment! Do think about whether it’s physically possible for his hand to be there if it was just somewhere entirely different. And don’t be afraid to have a little fun with it if your setting allows a bit of real life challenges. Getting stuck or whatever and giggling about it is so human and relatable and will add realism.
3. Use ALL the senses.
Obviously this is an important tip for writing generally but if you want to build a sensory picture and create intimacy it’s extra important in smut writing. Smut writing isn’t just describing where all the limbs and appendages go - if you want it to be immersive you need to go beyond that and explore how the characters FEEL and what else they are experiencing:
- Smells in particular are especially evocative and unique. They stir up emotions and or create a sense of safety.
- Think about how you describe the different kinds of touches (again, all relates to knowing your context). Not just stimulation touch but how they hold each other, breath on skin etc. Are they gentle or rough. And most importantly, how does it feel - both touching and being touched.
- Don’t forget about taste - you don’t have to major on it if it gives you the ick but it’s part of the sexual experience so don’t forget to consider how it might be useful to include.
- Sound allows you to convey emotion with and without dialogue. How does their voice sound? When you’re pressed together can you actually feel the sound? You can use this to show progress too as they get closer to climax. (That feels so wrong to write in a non-smut scene context!)
5. Choice of positions/ sexual acts
My personal preference is starting with foreplay cos I enjoy writing the build up, but sometimes (back to context again!) that doesn’t make sense for your pairing. Deciding what they actually do during the smut scene totally depends on all the stuff in the section above. For example, are they short on time? Do they have all night? Is it the only night they might ever have and so they want to do everything you can think of? All of these will affect what kind of sex they have and the kind of energy they bring to it.
I rarely sit down and plot this out (but I’m not a plotter anyway so that’s just me) - I write what feels right in the moment because I’ve focussed my effort on knowing WHY these two particular people are having sex. Allow the context to guide what feels natural and have fun with it.
6. Dialogue
I used to write with hardly dialogue during smut because it made me uncomfortable trying to squeeze it in, but I’ve got better at it as I’ve written more. So I think you have to do what feels right for you, as the writer. But also, once again, you need to know what your characters would do. Are they talkers? Is one of them noisy but the other is the silent type? Does one have a filthy mouth that makes the other weak and they like to use that against them? Do you want to include a praise kink or someone who gets off on being humiliated (don’t forget AFTER CARE!). All of that affects what kind of dialogue you might have.
Personally I still tend to keep it quite limited (writing Emmett and the whole ‘having to be quiet’ is my fav kink of the moment!). Instead, I focus more on the senses side of things, and let them get a bit lost in the pleasure inside their own heads. And instead of external dialogue, I often opt for more internal chat about how the other person and what they’re doing makes them feel. And how they feel is influenced by, you guessed it, the context!
What to do when it all feels a bit too ‘samey’
So to Lauren’s original ask about scenes feeling overly similar - especially when you’re working with the same set of characters in a long running series. I have this all the time, especially with my Lockdown series because those two are just feral for each other! To tackle getting stuck in a rut, here’s what I think about:
Surprise, surprise, it’s all about CONTEXT again!
Ok yes, you only have so many sexual acts and positions to work with. And not everyone wants to write all the kinks in the land, I know I don’t! But what is different every time is why your couple is having sex - what’s led to/inspired that moment and how are they coming into the scene. So I refer you back to the very first section - understand the scenario and mood you’re trying to create. You can stack the different acts however you like but the energy and emphasis and emotion your characters bring to that should inherently make it feel different each time.
If you want a real life example, check out the smut scenes in this mini series - they fuck in every chapter but each time the context and how the characters come into the scene is different, so (I hope!) the smut reads differently.
And finally
Do not underestimate the power of a little humour! Real life sex can be funny. It’s intimate and, lots of the time, with someone you are (or want to be) very close to. They are moments of physical and emotional connection. Let the people be people. Don’t make it all perfect all the time. Life isn’t like that! 🤍
Other useful resources
How to write smut by @youneedsomeprompts
Smut terminology study
Useful smut language/sound descriptors
Really good guide to smut terms
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Awesomely cute dividers by @firefly-graphics
