[somefilmsisaw]

Perfume: The Story of a Murderer (Dir. Tom Tykwer)

[mxjackparker]

We have 4 days left to raise the remaining funds needed to produce Warped (a trans horror and sci-fi anthology), otherwise we cannot create it. There is no compromising on paying writers, so if we can't get pre-orders to cover the £8041 we have left to hit our funding target then this project will be stopped before it starts. Gore, smut, and sex worker lunar colonists.

Warped

A trans+ horror and sci-fi fiction anthology.

Whether you can afford to pledge for a physical copy, and e-book, or don't have the money but help with a share, your support is appreciated!

[somefilmsisaw]

The Little Hours

Dir. Jeff Baena

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The Little Hours is a comedy movie, it’s not very funny though.

You would think Aubrey Plaza and Alison Brie being horny nuns would be enough to make this movie watchable, but I found myself getting bored.

Maybe I just don’t get the humour, because it didn’t make me properly laugh even once.

I understand this movie set in the 1300s has characters speaking in a modern way for comedic effect, but it’s good enough for an amused smile but nothing more.

It also employs the “characters cursing a lot” trope for comedy, which works for some movies. But, seeing 14th century nuns say fuck and fucking a whole bunch is funny the first couple of times only.

The absurd situations aren’t absurd enough, the lines aren’t punchy enough.

Maybe if I was a millennial woman it would have worked?

It is a good looking film at least, the cinematography is one of the better parts of the movie.

Outside of that, just go watch a nunsploitation film from the past century.

[somefilmsisaw]

Amateur (Dir. Hal Hartley)

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“…..And there was even a sculptor who made a statue of her—it won first prize in some show.” Mother has a thousand ways to brag about my looks, but half of them are lies. The sculptor was a pedophile who nearly raped me.

Yoko Ogawa, Hotel Iris

[somefilmsisaw]

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom, is always on top of disturbing movies list, but for incomplete reasons.

Pasolini might have elevated Salò to be a commentary against consumerism/capitalism and the ruling class, but de Sade wrote it with different goals. Yes, there is social commentary in the original book but de Sade, a renowned libertine, the original sadist, reveled in the debauchery (which was a lot more and lot worse in the book).

The libertines were clearly the villain for Pasolini, they were not for de Sade. Both of them did share similar views about the ruling class though.

Which brings us to the age old question? Does power corrupt or does it just bring out one's true nature.

How quickly morality crumbles when one has the means to indulge in pleasures indiscriminately. People who decide their own pleasure is supreme and no moral guard rails matter. And these people are at the top, they will never face any consequences, no stone thrown by those at the bottom will ever reach them.

And we live in such a world.

[somefilmsisaw]

Salò, or the 120 Days of Sodom

[somefilmsisaw]

If there ever is a Battle Royale (say that again 👀) between the stars of all the versions of A Star is Born I will be supporting Judy Garland. Sorry, Lady Gaga.

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A Star is Born (1954) Dir. George Cukor

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Megalopolis (Dir. Francis Ford Coppola)

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I have always loved horror. Slasher, supernatural, elevated horror; no matter the subgenres, I enjoy them.

Amongst these is one specific type of horror movie I especially enjoy. The low budget horror flick from the last millennium. These movies are so batshit, so random, and so fun.

And one such movie is The Return of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre or Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation starring Oscar Winner Matthew McConaughey and Renee "Bridget Jones" Zellweger.

Bizarre acting choices, technical mishaps, an absurd plot, the final girl telling Leatherface to sit the fuck down and just trying to walk out, Illuminati, secret government agents with body modifications, conspiracy theories, a plane chase scene and Matthew McConaughey on more cocaine than his Wolf of Wallstreet character.

Man, McConaughey is on one in this movie. He has an amazing accent goin on, random screams, cutting himself with a knife, spouting conspiracy theories which are in fact real in the universe.

This movie isn't for everyone but with a group of friends it will be very memorable.

[somefilmsisaw]

Matthew McConaughey and Renée Zellweger in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation

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Majority of female pervert movies (and I call them that with the utmost fondness) are serious and sincere in tone, made by auteurs, with screenings at Cannes. As opposed to majority male pervert movies, unserious sex comedies, made by someone’s uncle, direct to video. I believe the reason for that is:

Because “men love sex and kink” is something everyone knows and accepts. Unlike “women love sex and kink” which still has scandalous undertones, making a much more interesting plot.

Women’s approach to sex is more sophisticated compared to men’s. And thus are the movies dealing with it.

Sex for women is more easily available but with a lot more danger and risk. Whereas for men it’s the exact opposite. So, the female pervert movies deal more with women’s relation with sex, getting the right type of sex and with the right people. While their male counterparts are just on the hunt for sex.

Outside of Shame I can’t think of a serious, sincere male pervert movie. And then on the other side Nymphomaniac, The Piano Teacher, Snakes and Earrings, Romance, Secretary and more.

And that’s fine, I am partial to female perverts myself, this was just a ramble about something I noticed.

[somefilmsisaw]

The Four Horsewomen of Female Perversion

[okokokay-uh]

[somefilmsisaw]

Of course, a list like “No Actress Has Ever Looked Better Than…” will be based on personal preference on some level. But, I didn’t just put all the women I found hot on the silver screen on there(the list would still be going if I did).

The criteria was very arbitrary: just something that hit me.

And that is why it didn’t have, say, Catherine Deneuve in Belle de Juor, or Brigitte Bardot in, well, half her films. Not because I think they weren’t some of the most beautiful women on screen ever in those roles. But, because that something didn’t hit me.

Now what is that something? I am afraid I cannot articulate it. I do think you get it though.

Just something about her.