A Voyager of The Years

Syd, 20 - he/she - TX~Just a bastard trying to get through life. • Diagnosed Borderline Personality Disorder, Bipolar II (Manic Depression), Generalized Anxiety Disorder, Adult ADHD • -If you need anything, feel free to send me an ask-

[cptsdbaby]

since that day,

i was not the same

and it’s all your fault, your fault.

[mentalillnessmoodboards]

rainbowcore/kidcore bpd moodboard for @kaelthas-sunstrider

[mentalillnessmoodboards]

bpd moodboard with pastel colors and medical stuff

[perfectly-painful-poetry]

It’s like suicide that’s more natural A suicide that’s more slow One that takes a while And that doesn’t happen in one blow, So people will see it coming They won’t have such a shock But they won’t be able to do anything I will keep my plans shut down and locked, I won’t be invisible People will be able to see Thy saw last time anyway And I nearly set myself free, They saved me out of nowhere Right before I was about to die This time I’ll not let that happen I’ll pretend I’m going to try, I’ll pretend that I want to live But I’ll carry on my plan I’ll show them I want to live But to die do all I can, It will be easier in everyone else Maybe easier on myself If each day I become weaker If each day I lose my health, Rather than do something sudden Or something I see as violent I’ll slowly drain away my life No one will see the clear intent, This way it seems more acceptable Like others will understand They won’t totally hate me They will move on as much as they can, They should of just left me Let me die those years ago We all would of been free now The pain would of been let go, Instead I am struggling Everyone else has to see I am in pain But the blame still lies with me, I should just try more I should let her know I should let them help I shouldn’t do it alone, Apart from when I cry for help When I scream out in pain People don’t like what I’m saying They often turn the other way, What else am I meant to do now How else am I meant to cope I don’t want to live this life anymore I no longer have any hope, I want to be free now Like I should already be I am sorry for who I hurt It this world isn’t for me.

(via perfectly-painful-poetry)

[someone-you-never-expected]

Me: Be nice to yourself, it's so important for your mental health!

Also me: Doesn't shower for days, stays in bed all day, has a completely fucked up sleeping and eating schedule and impulsively destroys everything good in my life

Me: Just be nice to yourself :)

[rainypd]

Me two minutes post-breakdown: *puts on sunglasses* like, I’m just, I’m over it, you know?

[hopeless-for-life]

Please

[pt-sd]

dimensional / 4.28.17

[hopeless-for-life]

[21silverlinings]

I know, love. I know through the blank stares The disassociation, You are still here (Somewhere). I hear you, darling. I hear through the clenched teeth, The sobs, That right now you feel incomplete (Facing defeat). I feel you, baby. Just know that I have enough love For you and I; For the both of us (There’s hope for us).

Mental Health Awareness Month // n.b (via 21silverlinings)

[mental-macaron]

U know that thing where your Shit Brain™ decides to whisper “are u sure this is real?” out of fucking no where and suddenly you can feeeeeel yourself slowly spiral down into dissociation while you physically hold on to things as if you’re being pulled away from this dimension?

[someone-you-never-expected]

I say "i feel" a lot for someone who doesn't feel anything other than anger.

[aliceskelter-deactivated2018112]

i just want someone to lay in bed with me and tell me everything's going to be okay even if it's a lie

[hopeless-for-life]

[bpdgoaway]

me: *talks about something enthusiastically*

fp: Okay.

my mind: yep now you’ve done it they don’t like you anymore

[lonely-and--sad]

[someone-you-never-expected]

Person: if someone wants to leave, let them.

Person: learn to let go.

Me: but. how. do. I. survive. it?????????