“you reblog some weird stuff” -my ex

cat | 26 | they and also them

[636174657270696c6c6172]

Ive kissed my own shoulder during a hot jack off sesh so what? Not like im gonna run for president

[ruesdeluxe]

[inkandguns]

[lillytheaspie]

[xekstrin]

Boyfriend: wait but I thought you could change from alpha to omega? Like you get hit with a pheromone and bam become that and you fuck, but the rest of the time you’re androgynous

Me: … I think you have confused omegaverse with the seminal piece of science fiction literature The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

[xekstrin]

Nationalism is a societal evil

[kaylmao]

liking several of your posts in a row is a nibble at the bait. reblogging is a tug on the line. but you need to keep your cool. only when they follow, that's when you have them on the hook. reel them in with no mercy.

[cutecipher]

and then grill them + serve with butter

[wearegoingfuckinganywhereman]

[tatooineknights]

THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980) Dir. Irvin Kershner

[pokkin]

So full that i see my giant roast chicken as a man stranded on a raft with me

[21stcenturytheythem]

guys this is so crazy but for the first time in my life I genuinely have enemies scheming against me and plotting my downfall not even joking

[belovedgamers]

The BEST trope is when a character tells another “let’s run away together, we can leave all of this behind and start a new life somewhere” and gets rejected. And then the rest of the tragedy unfolds

[loveridden1999]

men will literally bend backwards to make you feel stupid rather than admit they might be wrong & then expect you to be nice to them

[horseblob]

we can eat wednesday food today

[lowpawly]

this is my impression of what it would look like if the toddlers at my job could make traumacore edits about me

[lowpawly]

alright by popular demand here is more toddler traumacore

[the-quasar-hero]

We all got that one mutual that be going through the most treacherous situations a person could endure and then posting a few minutes later about why such and such should get fucked through a concrete wall.

[the-quasar-hero]

Mutual: my situationship partner just got caught in a tornado at a broken glass factory where they were cheating on me with my landlord who just increased my rent by 6000% and my pet marmot has a disease so rare they’re naming it after him and all my bones are becoming apricot jelly which I’m allergic to.

Same mutual 16 minutes later: Do you think Ronald McDonald and the Burger King ever explored each other’s bodies?

[markadoo]

yes it was premeditated but the premeditating was done in passion too

[ttnn77]

You jerked off to the flickering light of a lamp post…?

...SOMETHING ABOUT IT DYING AND TRYING TO STAY ON WAS ENTICING TO ME... IM NORMAL

[jemcvrstairs]

my hobbies? adding movies to my watchlist and books to my to-read list