Ive kissed my own shoulder during a hot jack off sesh so what? Not like im gonna run for president

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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

JVL
will byers stan first human second
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@21stcenturytheythem
Ive kissed my own shoulder during a hot jack off sesh so what? Not like im gonna run for president
Step into my office.
People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person
Tumblr users will read a post complaining about normalized misogyny and hyperfocus on your claim that it's ok to dislike dogs
i think the scientology speedrunners should start visiting the hospital mitch mcconnell is supposed to be in. i think it would be enriching for them
notice how everyones 30 now
Boyfriend: wait but I thought you could change from alpha to omega? Like you get hit with a pheromone and bam become that and you fuck, but the rest of the time you’re androgynous
Me: … I think you have confused omegaverse with the seminal piece of science fiction literature The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin
Nationalism is a societal evil
liking several of your posts in a row is a nibble at the bait. reblogging is a tug on the line. but you need to keep your cool. only when they follow, that's when you have them on the hook. reel them in with no mercy.
and then grill them + serve with butter
THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK (1980) Dir. Irvin Kershner
So full that i see my giant roast chicken as a man stranded on a raft with me
guys this is so crazy but for the first time in my life I genuinely have enemies scheming against me and plotting my downfall not even joking
The BEST trope is when a character tells another “let’s run away together, we can leave all of this behind and start a new life somewhere” and gets rejected. And then the rest of the tragedy unfolds
men will literally bend backwards to make you feel stupid rather than admit they might be wrong & then expect you to be nice to them