Someone

[someoneanyday]

How did we get here Copenhagen

Hello my dear tumblr people! I'm not here that often but thought I could stop by and ask here as well to see if someone can help me.

I have watched @therealjacksepticeye now for some years, and I finally have the chance to see his show this autumn and usually my life is stuffed full with stuff but this time I actually have the time to get to the show and it would be really amazing.

Sadly, I've realized that I'm to afraid to go alone. We live in a time where you as a young woman doesn't dare go out in cities after dark. This of course is horrible but it is not gonna be fixed in these three weeks.

I don't really have any friend or "contacts" online in the community, but still I want to ask if there is someone I could meet up with before the show and go home with afterwards. Preferably someone who is going to Malmö afterwards, but at least someone who can follow me to the trainstation in Copenhagen.

Please spread this around if you see it, and I know our community is amazing. I also know more people is going to the copenhagen show, so I don't feel like this is an impossible idea. I won't be able to go to the show if I can't team up with someone.

Thank you for your time and hope you all have a great day

[someoneanyday]

It’s in the middle of the night and here I am watching a youtube live stream, easter holiday is coming up, and I just feel nice.

[someoneanyday]

If the world was a beautiful place, without misery, then I could be bitter. Now I can't, can I?

[someoneanyday]

Was a thundetstorm here tonight, and got inspired

[someoneanyday]

I have for the longest time feared aging. Or, maybe feared isn't ther right word, but I really like the time that is now and I don't want that to go away. Lately I've been starting to see that as a good thing, means I'm living now, enjoying the moment and all that. So, I just dislike getting older really much, but it's okey, I'm getting the hang of seeing it possitive. Because I don't regret things, and I don't fear things in the future, I just wanna hold on to the moment because it's the best. But now, lying here, of course, in the middle of the night, I started thinking about death. And it scares me so much. It's human, sure, to think that way but the thought of not excisting anymore hits you hard sometimes. I've thought like this before, when I was younger, but it was different then, not so real. More the fear of the unknown, than the fear of having used all the days in your life, taken all the chances you ever will get. I know I can't think like this now. It just makes me sad and there is not gonna make a difference thinking about it. But when you are scared you don't act out of reason, but instinct. Of course I'm more afraid of people around me dying, people that I love, but that worry is always there, and that I usually think about sometime every day, at least once a week, but this fear of dying just hit me, from nowhere. And I really feel scared. As a very privileged youth I am very seldom truly afraid of things. I live a wonderful life. But the fear of death is something no one can run from. Maybe it's just one of the nights you will have to live through, either you want it or not.

[someoneanyday]

It feels like it's not worth caring. Everything still wither and die. I don't really care about that fact either. I've always tried living by the philosophy that if you dream big and imagine that everything's gonna be grand, then at least some things will be pretty good. But then it doesn't really matters, does it? Nothing really matters, because all disappears either way. Why do I think like this, it doesn't make it better. But I just think what I think, not what I want to think. I guess this is the reason I don't like sad music.

[someoneanyday]

It's in the middle of the night and here I am watching a youtube live stream, easter holiday is coming up, and I just feel nice.

[someoneanyday]

This is the first real spring week, and I just feel so energized. I like the winter and darkness, but something with the light makes you feel like you can do anything. And the weirdest thing is that it’s the same every year, and you still don’t expect it. I am wearing a dress for the first time this year, and when I think about it I’m not really a dress person, I’m to practical for that, but it feels unexpectedly nice. So, I’m just sitting here on the bus, listening to pretty odd (such spring music) and it just feels nice.

[someoneanyday]

Think I mentioned I used to write a diary. Well I kind of wanted to start again, and was really pumped about it and all the "gonna write everyday" was there (this is like two days ago). But I didn't write yesterday and not today, and my computer is way over there, so I would have to get out of bed and well, that would suck. Is it just me that think about the fact that memories fade so quickly and there are so many days we don't remember and therefore those days doesn't really exist anymore? Well that's the whole reason why I like to start writing a diary now, because I want those day to exist. Before I wrote because I wanted to get my thoughts out. Guess I need both. But, anyway, I just wanted to write down what I did today so that it doesn't disappear. Okey so I was up rather early, like nine, then played the clarinet for some time. Played tennis like every sunday, got home, had lunch. We had onion soup, like french gratinated with croutons and a lot of cheese, damn it's so good. Such an underrated dish. Well then I should study chemistry but I maybe just watched youtube all day (did study for a little bit with dad though, does that count? Ye it counts). You see the thing is when I read this I feel really productive, even if I realise that maybe I didn't so that much shit. That's also a good reason to write down everything you do. Oh and I sent in the short story for the competition today (not at all the dead line). Not very pleased with it though, had to shorten it down so much. Not that I'm really expecting anything. Fuck it's school again tomorrow. Gotta sleep.

[someoneanyday]

I’m writing this short story for a competition and I don’t think I’ve ever been this frustrated before. Is this what writer’s block is like? I’m not sure, because I’ve always loved writing and sometimes I just haven't been up to it, and then I just don’t write, simple as that. But this is different, this is something new. I know the characters so good by now, I know what the theme is gonna be, I know the location, but I just cant see how the whole thing is gonna play out. I been thinking about it for a week now, and I can sense that there is a story there, just like waiting to be told, but I can’t grasp it. How are you supposed to do this?

Sometimes when I play piano I get the same feeling. The fingers just won’t do it right and the frustration comes out in the fingers and I can physically feel it. It’s a nagging kind of feeling, and I hate it so much. It’s like that just ten times worse. I just wanna smash things and run around and scream and in the same time I just want it to work. It won’t work now, obviously, as I’m all pumped up, so ye I guess I gave up, but it is still so frustrating, what am I supposed to do? 

If I hadn’t been thinking about it for so long it wouldn’t really be a problem, because then I could just do it some other time. But I can kind of feel the story disappearing in front of me. Which sucks. 

I’m probably thinking about it in the wrong way. Looking from the wrong perspective. But it is so hard to see what I am doing wrong, like come on world, just make it a little simple for me?

Jesus, I really can’t take adversities, can I? Guess I’ll just have to learn to live with being a spoiled brat.

[someoneanyday]

I’ve always seen myself as a dreamer. I don’t know if people see me as one, but sure, I’m not alone. There are several of us, out there lurking in the wild. 

But the thing is I’ve always seen it as a good thing. At least always when I was younger. Nowadays it’s growing more and more into a a feature that I don’t enjoy that much about myself. I’ve seen it as a sign of creativity, a fact that I can see myself in different worlds and situations. And even though I still look at it that way it troubles me in the same time. 

Dreaming for me is very much about being able to see a possible outcome of a situation, fictionel or real, and then make up a world with that outcome as a center, a start for a new world inside your head. And just that simple idea I consider very beautiful. Well, because it is. But the thing with dreaming is that it’s a lot about making the dreams come true. Taking that possibility in your head, sometimes just a single thought, and making it something real. 

But I dream more than I actually do stuff leading up to fulfilling the dreams. Sure, I love having a world of my own in my head but it comes to the point when it just makes me sad, when I’m left on my own knowing I can’t make everything I want be true. 

It makes me sad, and it also makes me feel rather egoistic, because it often just comes down to things kind of only gaining me. And I don’t want it like that. 

[someoneanyday]

I just watched the lying detective and first I was like (AAARG) but it has cooled down a bit now. Everyone else is as excited at least. 

This is exactly that kind of sherlock I have missed. Honestly, after the first episode, I was a little bit disappointed. It was nice having new sherlock, as always, see the characters again, get some new plot and all that. But I felt like it didn’t mattered that much. I didn’t think about it all day after watching it, more like “uh sherlock is back that’s nice”. We knew that we had to get something on Mary’s past in this season, and to me it wasn’t really a surprise that she died. She had to sometime. It was rather interesting that it happened so early in the series, but we have heard for so long that this season is gonna be dark and shocking and all of that. I’m gonna miss her though, an amazing character. 

But this episode, jesus. My mind is so blown away, it has soon floated with the wind all round earth. When it was kind of expected that we should get more on Mary in this season I could just hope for more on the third brother. Or well, sister. Oh god I love that it is a sister. There have been so many speculations on who this brother is and what happened with him and so on, but I can’t remeber seeing anyone who presented the idea that he could be a girl insted. Amazing, I don’t know how they do it. There have been so many years, and still I wasn’t prepared for that at all. And mainly, not for them to tell us. The third Holmes sibling (ey ey) could be a mystery that just lurked there and never really concluded. But they just smash it in our faces. Although, that’s why I love it. 

I love that she is called Euros. Fan of greek mythology and all, it is so good, so perfect. The eastern wind. 

[someoneanyday]

I thought about this last night too, so it have to be an important question. You have all heard it before, master over simply yet philosophical question. What does a boggart look like when noone is watching it? And, even more importantly, could Moody see what it looked like when he was looking at it with the magical eye? Or did it adjust after him and transformed into what he feared the most? If it didn't, then Moody knew what it looked like and in that case did it look like that to the magical eye always, even when it appeared in front of other people? This is really not leading to anything, is it? There is probably not that hard to find out. Someone out there in the vast land of the internet probably figured out an answer that works. But why try to find it, when I can just lie here and think about it every night.

[someoneanyday]

I used to write a diary. I don’t really know why I stopped. I wasn’t very good at it in the fist place, I wrote some time each month if I was lucky. But it was a good way of keeping my thoughts a bit organized at least. But then my life kind of started rolling on its own, everything kind of worked out as it should so I stopped writing. I don’t easily get motivated to do something, and therefore I stopped. I always liked writing though, but when it’s not that important anymore I stopped. When I actually sit down and write I can do it for ages, but I’m lazy (or kind of) so therefore it happens more and more seldom. And I don’t think I want it that way. I’m not sure though, but I will see what happens when I start to write down my life again. Got to go, dinner is ready

[someoneanyday]

I really hate procrastination sometimes. Not because you’re not doing what you should, not because you’re slowly wasting your whole life doing nothing. Procrastinating is a hella better way to spend your life than a lot of the alternatives. Relaxing and just doing what you want for a change. The problem is when you’re procrastinating the procrastination. I sometimes just sit down and feel like, I should watch that tv-show, but you kind of don’t anyway. Not sure why. It’s not that you don’t want to, and it’s not that you want to do something actually productive, I mean I’m me after all. But I feel so bad about not watching that tv-show as well, because then all my tv-show watching procrastinating friends wont really understand. 

Maybe it’s just me. But still, it sucks. 

[someoneanyday]

Fun thing: I am the kind of person who should be on tumblr all the time. People I relate to and people I think are cool are tumblr people. Still, I never got the thing. I think. Maybe I never tried. But it has always fascinated me, this world. But i feel like I am only wtching it, not being a part of it. Which I, considering the kind of person I am in the kind of world I live in, should. But I always had kind of hard to interact with people, take a first step. In all kind of situations.

I would just like to have a place where I can write shit down. And this feels like a nice place.