Someone Stole It

I deal with depression and support others. I love a person I may never get to see again. I appreciate the artistry of pornography.

[teenscoolest]

[thewieneryears-deactivated20130]

Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

[missythemermaid]

are you fucking for real

[revesducirque]

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

[arthyradio]

Later

[atombombbunny]

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

[male-witch]

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

[someonestolemyoldname]

reblogged for safe keeping.

[someonestolemyoldname]

I haven’t died yet.

[someonestolemyoldname]

What even am I now...? Who? I’m light headed and sad and I don’t want to be me at all.

[someonestolemyoldname]

I am not well.

I’ve been trying to adjust to the new thing these past few months. I started a career at a nonprofit organization. I met a girl who seems to like me. I started a certification program that will allow me to volunteer with local women’s centers assisting victims of domestic violence. I’m paying old bills an cleaning up my credit. I’m paying other bills and taking the burdens of my mom. This should be a very happy and fulfilling time for me… But I can’t seem to enjoy it. I smile. I laugh. I join in and participate… But when my brain has a quiet moment, I think about her. 

She’s happy. She’s been with someone else since she left me. He seems like a good guy from what I can tell. He makes her happy. I’m glad that she’s happy, but not I’m not happy for her. I can’t understand how to. How do I get to the point where I don’t feel guilty going on a date? How do I get to the place where everything reminds me of something we did, or talked about, or saw in nearly 6 years ? How do I let go of love? 

In the back of my mind I wish she’ll realize it was a mistake and come back. Wish. There is no hope left for that. Do you know what I hope for? A moment of weakness where she just says hello to me or an accident where she called by mistake or commented on a post she didn’t realize was mine. I hope that she hasn’t completely forgotten me. That probably seems pitiful. Why should I care what it seems like if its all my hear needs to have a moment of bliss. ONE STUPID MOMENT. There is no pride left in me where she is concerned. I don’t even dare imagine that I’ll see her anywhere outside of a screen or a dream ever again. And I love her still. In love with her still. I am determined to stay away, but I will not run away. Hello… and I will fall again.

[someonestolemyoldname]

Here I am. In this place again. Just as I predicted, it was only a text that was needed to lift my heart. “Hey” That’s all I needed. What followed cut me to the bone. I never fell out of love with her. Her pictures are still up and I’m trying to date someone else. How fucked is that? How stupid am I to bring someone else into my life when I’m not nearly over the last heartbreak? I deserved this. She called on the one year anniversary of the day she left me. The day and within an hour of the exact time. She asked if she could call. You know what I said. We caught up and it was wonderful. She loves her job, I love mine. She loves her students, I can tolerate my clients. And then she told me the reason she called. She’s going to be engaged. My heart broke. Why? Why, when I knew that this would come, was I so not ready to hear the voice love say that? I cried immediately, but told her I was glad she found happiness. And I am. I really am. Because this year has been pointless if we both suffered the same way. She’s never been so happy. It’s so nice to be with someone who wants to be married and have kids. That hurt. I had that.  It got worse.

We changed to a different topic. Her family has been asking about me including her grandfather. He wasn’t doing well. She suggested that I go to visit him. I agree. I love him too. I love her whole family. I used to be part of it. Fast forward: I set a day and time to go just two days from now. He died today. I loved him and he died today. He was always kind and generous and funny and full of interesting stories, but I loved him because he never needed to warm up to me. I was family from the day he shook my hand. That meant the world to me. And I missed my chance to tell him. He died today. I’m not even sure if I can go to the funeral despite my promise that I’ll be out of the way. You won’t even know I’m there, because I’ll be out of the way. How could it get worse? It always can. Back to the call. 

“I love you.” “I love you more”. It gets worse.

I never took your pictures down. I still have the pillow you gave me on my bed. The one that I had made with the picture of us in a heart that was captioned, “Whoso loves, believes the impossible.” I read that quote thousands of times on the tattoo on her shoulder while she slept or when I had  free glance. I kissed it as many times. Of course that was the quote I’d choose to immortalize our love on a fucking pillow. It’s tattooed on my heart and mind and might as well be on my gravestone, but a pillow was just PERFECT. I thought she would've destroyed it by now. It’s not even a comfortable pillow. Just a labor of love. A token. Something that would make the distance fell lesser while she finished grad school. I thought she would’ve destroyed it by now. But no. It still means something. But what? 

She tells me about this boyfriend. It’s not for me to say on tumblr. I can’t judge him. I won’t. He has everything that I want in the world. I tell her about my new girlfriend. She makes me smile. I never forget my broken heart, but she makes it feel lighter because hers was broken too when we found each other. “I dont like her.I don’t think you should be dating her.” It gets worse.

We talk about us. How we used to be. We remind each other of things that happened. Little things that made us happy. My heart soars. She remembers more than me. This is something that no one can take from me. She needs me to do her a favor. “Stop waiting for me.” She tells me all these negative things about her as if my life will be better now. She can’t see my tears. She can’t see that she is my life. That was the unhealthiest part of our relationship. That I would sacrifice anything for her. Even my own happiness. Especially my own. That’s what I’m doing now. What I’ve been doing. Why do I love this way? I can’t hold on, I can’t let go. And now I have to break up with someone great because she doesn’t need to watch me go through this and she could be me next. I don’t wish this on anyone. 

[cheese24k]

Walter is my cousin’s dog. He really has a thing for swimming.

[nasty-twerp]

that was a religious experience

[mightyfemme]

me

[pseudo-human-deactivated2021061]

I’ve never seen a butt-mounted camera, but damn, this dog knows where he wants to go, and goes there fast.

[hoediac]

His little ears flopping in he wind

[cuttleskulls]

THIS IS THE QUALITY CONTENT I WANT TO SEE

[ruinedchildhood]

[drunktrash]

[someonestolemyoldname]

I still hurt everytime I look at her... I still haven’t taken her pictures down in my room. How do people do this? What is “moving on”? Why is it just me?

[relatablepoetryandquotes]

via @extramadness

[someonestolemyoldname]

I’m about to do something stupid. So so stupid. I’m almost willing to do anything  to get away from the pain. 

[someonestolemyoldname]

She’s so happy without me and it hurts so fucking bad.

[someonestolemyoldname]

I don’t even have the strength to accurately reflect on my pain on tumblr. How am I going to beat this...

[someonestolemyoldname]

I am not well.

I’ve been trying to adjust to the new thing these past few months. I started a career at a nonprofit organization. I met a girl who seems to like me. I started a certification program that will allow me to volunteer with local women’s centers assisting victims of domestic violence. I’m paying old bills an cleaning up my credit. I’m paying other bills and taking the burdens of my mom. This should be a very happy and fulfilling time for me... But I can’t seem to enjoy it. I smile. I laugh. I join in and participate... But when my brain has a quiet moment, I think about her. 

She’s happy. She’s been with someone else since she left me. He seems like a good guy from what I can tell. He makes her happy. I’m glad that she’s happy, but not I’m not happy for her. I can’t understand how to. How do I get to the point where I don’t feel guilty going on a date? How do I get to the place where everything reminds me of something we did, or talked about, or saw in nearly 6 years ? How do I let go of love? 

In the back of my mind I wish she’ll realize it was a mistake and come back. Wish. There is no hope left for that. Do you know what I hope for? A moment of weakness where she just says hello to me or an accident where she called by mistake or commented on a post she didn’t realize was mine. I hope that she hasn’t completely forgotten me. That probably seems pitiful. Why should I care what it seems like if its all my hear needs to have a moment of bliss. ONE STUPID MOMENT. There is no pride left in me where she is concerned. I don’t even dare imagine that I’ll see her anywhere outside of a screen or a dream ever again. And I love her still. In love with her still. I am determined to stay away, but I will not run away. Hello... and I will fall again.

[vvhack]

[strepthrussy-uwu-blog]

[someonestolemyoldname]

Video Game: You know, if you're having trouble, feel free to lower the difficulty settin--

Me: Go fuck yourself.