self deprecating long after i stopped being sad

| Sarah | 27 | He/They | my mother gave birth to a snail and that snail grew up to be me, i am the Human Snail

[ceescedasticity]

"The purpose of a system is what it does" implies fascinating things about my digestive system.

[manuciruja]

awww the like button turns into a rainbow when you press it! that's so cute...hey staff what's with all the trans women you keep nuking?

[manuciruja]

i think we should be ridiculing them more for this. you don't get to try and go all "queer website" when your staff likes to go on nuking sprees targeting the trans fem users

[drunktrash]

just left work, looked down the road and saw a bunch of emergency lights in the distance and thought "ooo something exciting happening over there~" i work at a fucking hospital. the lights are outside the emergency room. this is where exciting things happen.

[bitegore]

i swear sometimes it feels like vast swathes of people on here think there's some moral value to "annoying"ness like it's morally incorrect to be annoying so if you're not doing anything wrong it can't be annoying and if you're annoyed with someone they must have morally failed or something. Like my god. Have you never just been irked by something harmless before?

[fidelcostco]

the human brain is so cool, if you're tired and stressed enough, your brain will go, "don't worry, I got you" and shadows will start moving

[fidelcostco]

and what's the genital situation on the shadows

[fidelcostco]

oh this is my post

[genderfluid-druid]

hurr hurr I'm a human body hurr hurr I'm gonna solve all my problems using mucus

[genderfluid-druid]

"i require more fluids" well what did you do with the fluids I already gave you. hmm? did you make more mucus with them? you made more mucus with them.

[ilovetodrinkwater]

Yesterday = Death approaches from all sides

Today = Shaggadelic baby

[ilovetodrinkwater]

Phenomenal

[limitedmedicine]

【Rippi/リッピ】

fuzzy bugs series

w140×h130xd90mm

@shiba0607

[steelycunt]

is there anything more humiliating than filling in the 'preferred salary' bit of a job application. grubby victorian workhouse child cap in hand oh guvnah ill work for anyfink! oh if youd be so kind, just a tuppence for me troubles sir, honest only a tuppence!

[aquaflv]

when you go to a doctors office their favorite thing to do is tell you "okay check out at the front desk" when you're done. and the front desk tells you ummm you can just go! and you're like don't I have a copay? and they're like we don't know, we have to ask your insurance company first. and you're like well my insurance card says the copay is $30, can I just pay it right now while I'm standing in front of you? there's a card reader right there on the desk. and they're like nooo we have to send a representative on horseback during the next waning moon to meet with their claims adjusting associate director of benefits management and client services in the secret glade to negotiate. and you're like oh okay and go home. and you get twelve emails asking you to take a survey about your experience

[aquaflv]

AND THEN in eight months you start getting phone calls from unknown numbers and when you finally check your voicemail they're like Your Balance Is Past Due We're Going To Kill You (even though by this point you have forgotten that you ever went to the doctor). and so you go to your MyChart account and log in with your username and password and you have to reset your password for security reasons. and you get two emails that say Your Password Has Been Reset. Was This You? and you have to go find your phone and enter your two factor authentication code and then you have to select which location you visited and then you have to click through all the Reminder: Complete Your Health History Profile where they ask if you've had any new surgeries even though you definitely told the nurse about this at your visit and then you have to find the Pay Bills tab and your balance is $179.23 and you're like why is it so expensive I thought the copay was $30? and you download a PDF of the charges and find out that they charged a late fee of $15 a month even though that doesn't add up to $179.23 and you don't even remember being told you had any balance at any point and you could call a representative and ask about it but that would probably take at least half an hour and there's no way it would actually get rid of the charges. so you go pay it anyway and you have to go find a paper check to look up your bank account routing number because they'll charge you an extra 3% if you pay with a credit card and there's a fee of $2.75 for convenience also. and then you get three emails that say We've Received Your Payment! Thank You For Your Payment!

[mysticalcats]

it's really gross how you can be self aware enough to know what's going on in your head but you can't actually stop it from happening. i need to grab it like a pigeon that got stuck in a house and throw it out the window. be free

[fairycosmos]

did you know that apparently if you try to act normal the normalness doesn't come through but the acting does. and did you know apparently everyone can smell this on you like a bloodhound

[theyhitthe2ndtower]

everything is a ploy by big suicide to make me commit suicide

[uwontrememberme]

everything will probably be fine but i have to get really anxious just in case

[gingehh]

reverse solipsism: everyone else has a vibrant interior life but I'm just a passive observer

[peaceandlovetechnology]

Every single day this month has been like Okay sure. Okay sure what the hell. Okay sure. I guess

[trucyisright]

my mother is playing pikmin and yelling at them in the exact tone of voice she uses for me and my siblings so we go into fight or flight every time. we thought initially that this meant she regarded the pikmin as akin to her children, but I now fear she’s always viewed us as pikmin