FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND POUNDS OF PRESSURE. THAT IS MY POWER. MY PISS STREAM LASER BEAM. NO FORCE ON EARTH IS ENOUGH TO RESIST MY URINE. THIS IS NO WATER PICK. I AM FAR STRONGER THAN ANY PRESSURE WASHER. I AM A FORCE OF NATURE. A MANMADE NATURAL DISASTER. EVERY DAY I MUST REPLACE MY TOILET BECAUSE THE LAST ONE WAS REDUCED TO DUST. NOT STONES. NOT GRAVEL. DUST. A FINE-GRAINED DUST. NO MAN BEFORE ME HAS POSSESSED A WEAPON SUCH AS THIS. DO YOU KNOW WHY I FEEL NO FEAR? BECAUSE TO PISS MY PANTS IN TERROR WOULD MEAN TOTAL ANNIHILATION OF THE HUMAN RACE. MY PEEING REGULARLY IS A PUBLIC FUCKING SERVICE TO HUMANITY, PROPERTY DAMAGE BE DAMNED. HAVE SOME DAMN RESPECT. I AM LIKE THE HULK IF EVERY MUSCLE IN HIS BODY WAS DEVOTED TO HIS BLADDER. THE UNITED NATIONS CLASSIFIES MY GROIN AS A WEAPON OF MASS DESTRUCTION. CORPORATIONS WOULD KILL FOR A WEAPON AS POWERFUL AS THIS. THE MILITARY ALREADY HAS. MY PISS WILL KILL GOD ONE DAY. NEVER DOUBT ME AGAIN.
