Jesus, Gay Marriage, and the Constitution
Gay marriage has increasingly become a hot topic in the political arena. From Chick-fil-a’s opposition, to the President’s support, amendments for and amendments against. There are heated opinions on both sides and lots of emotions involved.
What I have to say here may offend you. Actually, it probably will offend you. That goes for those on the right and left, gay and straight, Christian and atheists. These are my opinions, I could be wrong about some of it or all of it, but there is a perspective and a line of thought I want to share.
I know this is a sensitive subject and you may not what to read what I have to say, regardless of what side of the aisle you are on — if that’s the case, stop now or at least don’t say I didn’t warn you.
There is so much to say here and I’ll try to walk you through it as logically as I can.
Let me start with a little perspective. Starting in middle school, I was involved in an activity called Winter Guard. It’s a performing arts activity and as a result, it’s mostly females, and very few guys. As a male in a mostly female sport, I was often ridiculed by others. I wasn’t gay, never have been, but I certainly got a small taste of the persecution some face. I’ve been called a faggot, queer, homo, and every other derogatory term you can think of. Shoot, my name even rhymes with gay, how great is that? Not so great when you’re an 8th grade boy it turns out. It’s not fun at all. Thankfully I had a lot of great friends and I cared more about their opinions than that of weak minded, jealous, idiots.
I stayed involved in this activity through high school and even after high school. My wife and I met through this sport and some of my best memories come from these times. Why does this matter? It matters because while I am a Bible believing, Jesus lovin’ evangelical Christian that has been blessed with some incredible people in my life, who also happen to be gay. These are people who have had profoundly positive affects on my life personally and professionally.
Let me be clear, and this is the part that may offend some of you who are gay or have gay friends, that is not my intention, but I’m not known for beating around the bush. If the question is, do I believe that homosexuality is wrong, morally, based on my understanding of the Bible, which I believe is the word of God — I would have to tell you that I believe it’s not what God intended. With that said, the number of things that I have done, which are also in stark contrast to the Bible are innumerable. It is not my job to cast stones. As Jesus said “If any of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone.” The moral argument of homosexuality itself has little to do with what I’m writing here, so let’s move on.
Now that I’ve offended those on the left, let me move to the right.
My discussion here is specifically directed at this question: should ‘gay marriage’ be ‘banned’ in the United States.
The short answer, in my opinion, is no. (Wouldn’t it be nice if our politicians could just say ‘yes or no’ to simple questions?)
Here’s why I’ve come to that conclusion…
First of all, I don’t really think that the Federal Government should be involved in marriage at all. For me, my marriage bond is between God, my wife, and myself. I just happen to also have a piece of paper that deals with the IRS and other legal entities. But that’s a whole separate conversation.
I don’t see anything good about ‘banning’ gay marriage or ‘defining marriage as between one man and one woman’ in the consitution. God defines marriage for me, but everyone in this country doesn’t believe in God and that is their right.
When Jesus met with a prostitute, did he first recommend that they should ban prostitution in the town? When Jesus met with tax collectors, did he first try to regulate taxes with the local government? When Jesus used an evil, sinful, murderous man named Saul (later Paul) to spread the Gospel, did he first have him imprisoned for his sins? Clearly not.
Let me ask you this, if we ban gay marriage, will it make gay people magically not gay? Will it draw them to the church or push them away? If we’re so worried about someone else’s bedroom, maybe we should start looking at our own.
From conservatives, I keep hearing about the sanctity of marriage. I hear this from people like Rush Limbaugh, who has been married several times. You have no credibility on the sanctity of marriage when you’ve been divorced twice and married three times — none. You’re probably excellent at talking about things that go wrong in a marriage, but to argue that you have a moral high ground is flagrant hypocrisy.
Maybe we should ban divorce? There’s a radical idea. I say that in jest, but let’s be real Christians, the divorce rate among Christians is about the same as the rest of the country. Almost half of all Christian marriages that stand before God and vow “until death do we part” break that vow. We, as a Christian community, have lost our credibility on the sanctity of marriage.
I’m starting to drift here, but I’m a little angry honestly, angry that “we” don’t have more sanctity in our own marriages. “We” are plagued by pornography, affairs, and divorce but we have the gall to question the sanctity of someone else’s union? Really?
You want to know what we should do about gay marriage? Or straight marriage? We should lead by example! We, men, should love our wives as Christ loves the church. We should fight for our marriages the same way we fought to capture the attention of our spouses in the first place. We, Christians, should be a shinning example of the covenant of marriage that God lays out in the bible, NOT by our words, but by our actions. In the words of a King & Country song (one of my kids favorites), “Let my life be the proof — the proof of Your love.”
We, as a Christian community, should love gay people the same way Jesus loved people. He washed their feet and ministered to them. In biblical times, people wore sandals or no shoes at all, they had some stank, nasty feet, and Jesus, the king of the universe, on multiple occasions, washed their feet. He served them, he humbled himself, and he walked the walk.
Why don’t we rise up in our own churches and communities and put all of that energy about “defending marriage” and actually defend our own marriages? You want to rise up? RISE UP then and support your friends marriages, RISE UP and love your spouse the way THEY need to be loved, RISE UP and pray for your friends and neighbors.
Have I ruffled your feathers yet? I hope so. I hope so because I care deeply about the sanctity of marriage and I think we should represent that, not with words and amendments, but with actions and love.
Now that I’ve addressed my friends on the Biblical side of the debate, let’s talk about the constitution for a minute.
First, for me, the Bible is and always will be the superior document to any other document, however, I believe that we started this country in an effort to allow for our own religious freedom — that includes those that don’t believe what “we” believe.
When people are wrong, I believe we should error on the side of Grace (Lord knows I’ve certainly been forgiven of much and should do the same — although I don’t always do so.) And with the law, I believe we should error on the side of liberty and freedom.
Please do not start with some ridiculous argument about how if we allow two men or two women to marry each other that it won’t be long before we allow men to marry children. In one situation we have two legally consenting adults that are probably already living together anyway and in another you don’t. These types of absurd arguments rank up there almost as high as the discussions on “legitimate rape”.
If two consenting adults want to legally bind themselves together through marriage, how does that affect me or my family? These gay couples are already living together and committed to each other, they just want to throw a party and have the government recognize their marriage so they can file taxes together and be with each other when they die. What gives us the right to tell these people that they can’t have the same marriage rights that we do? Where is it in the constitution? I’m pretty sure that constitution doesn’t say anything about marriage at all, that’s part of this whole problem, too much government. (But again, that’s for another conversation.)
I believe one of the big reason the republican party and those on the right are losing elections is because of silly stances like “the defense of marriage” — without actually defending real marriage in any substantial way.
To be clear, I don’t think the government should ever have the right to tell a church who they can and can’t marry. If a church or group of people don’t want to marry a couple because it’s against their doctrinal beliefs, I doubt that couple would want to get married there anyway.
My vote is that we all take a step back and look at our own marriages first. Respect that others have different beliefs and philosophies than we do and realize that trying to ban someone from marriage is not going to change their behavior in anyway, it’s just going to make them angry.
Christians, God doesn’t need our constitutional amendments to define and defend marriage. He has his own book for that, it’s called the Bible.
Republicans, liberty and freedom matter most. Our party needs a revolution or it will die. I am not recommending that we capitulate on all social issues, but on this one, it’s time to spend more time focusing on our own marriages than that of others.
That’s my thoughts — I welcome yours below or on our Facebook page — please be respectful with your comments on either side.
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