Shriveled Dicks

Taking a phallological approach to music criticism, with a focus on classic and contemporary cock-rock. A safe space for #misandry.

[somshriveleddicks]

Damnit SOM real shriveled dicks hacked into our verified verified account and made us change our password

[summeromegadeth]

Uh bro? It might be time to flounce Twitter. Ethically.

[somshriveleddicks]

Heh. Erected.

[summeromegadeth]

I wouldn’t have been to able to write Gawker’s women problem if I hadn’t learned at Gawker how to ask big questions/not be afraid to publish

[somshriveleddicks]

RIP Tinder

[ablacklodge]

[gallivantingwithherwolf]

Girls shotgunning beers

[summeromegadeth]

#AESTHETIC

[humulus-deactivated20210829]

[summeromegadeth]

[somshriveleddicks]

Hey guysssssa, come out from under the Rock, have U HErd the term *problematic* much?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lt9_9jazVk0&feature=share

[summeromegadeth]

We’re voting for the super racist 24 year old libertarian Jew GMU grad Tumblr troll. You?

[somshriveleddicks]

Wow. Looks like someone wants to erase - or worse, weaponize - the Shriveled Dicks who support Jill Stein. Please don’t do that.

[pleasedontsqueezetheshhh]

The local antique store owner is a bit of a pessimist.

[somshriveleddicks]

Something, something, a single-panel comic, mushroom cloud, "The Internet"

[azspot]

Kelly

[summeromegadeth]

pickerd: Krugovcado at lower right, op-onioning adorably.

[somshriveleddicks]

Something something single-panel comic mushroom cloud the Internet.

[bad-postcards]

MICHIGAN BEANS—the WORLD’S FINEST

[fuckyeahanarchistposters]

[funyuns]

My face when __________. Fill in the blank and we’ll reblog our 5 favorites!

[summeromegadeth]

some shitbird millennial who was wetting his bed when nader ran in 2000 tells me that a vote for jill stein is a vote for trump.

[somshriveleddicks]

Use your executive orders to flip the bird on social mediums!

[izopoda]

the people that are pissed @ bernie and screaming “never hillary” and “sell out” n want to vote green party are gonna get trump elected

ask yourself this: “do i want trump to be president?”

no?

vote hillary

bernie endorsed her so /the democratic party isnt split up/

his entire campaign was to beat trump, and lets be honest he never could have beat someone with such huge name recognition and predetermined support

do i like hillary? no. do i prefer her over trump? fuck yes i do

and if you cant see why bernie endorsed her and just scream at him more about how he betrayed you, you’re immature. plain and simple. by being bitter and voting jill bc of spite youre voting for a trump presidency.

[summeromegadeth]

And this is why sad special snowflake millennials will never fucking change the world because they eat the shit served to them. The lesser of two evils is a false choice. Reject the binary. Dare to stand for something in your goddamn life.

[somshriveleddicks]

Dicks for Nadir 2016

[somshriveleddicks]

We'll have some brexit with our dick tease, tonight!

[kcid-noxin]

Well, the day I’ve been dreading finally came. I got back around to the random episode in the middle of S4 where I started TNG on Ossie’s couch. (The one where the Romulans brainwash Geordie in a bid to have him murder a Klingon muckety-muck in order to set off another war between the Klingons and the Federation. It’s good!)

So, Rao help me, I’ve started in on DS9. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not sighing because I buy into the received wisdom that the first couple of seasons are terrible. Who am I kidding, longtime followers of rent_this_blog know that’s totally not why I’m sighing! I’m sighing because the later seasons, which nerds have convinced themselves are The Beginning of The Golden Age of Television are I N T E R M I N A B L E .

DS9 was the first Star Trek I was cognizant for from the very first episode. And I was, and am!, totally sold on Casablanca in Space. Everybody Comes to Quark’s.

But the Dominion War that never doesn’t look like a fucking budget version of the space battle in Return of the Jedi? The endless Bajoran political/religious machinations that play more like a really bad soap opera? (It’s funny that this same breed of nerd hates The Prequels, but DS9 was just doing what The Prequels did, cheaply. And poorly.) Taking one of Star Trek’s most compelling recurring villains, Dukat, and turning him into a mustache-twirler? Every Ferengi who isn’t Quark – Quark is awesome; you will never hear me utter an unkind word against Armin Shimerman – being not only an ugly, racist caricature, but an ugly, racist, ANNOYING charicature? Sisko buying into the idea that he’s a Bajoran god or whatever? Odo whining? EMO WORF? DAX MARK II? FUCKING O’BRIEN’S MARITAL PROBLEMS?

No thank you.

(Also, I think Netfux upped the quality of its TNG offerings after the Blu-ray discs had been in stores a while. This shit still looks like it was recorded on VHS off a UHF station in 1994.)

Anyway, I totally forgot Sisko’s dead wife’s name was Jennifer. Which, incidentally, is partially kind of the title to my favorite song on 3 Feet High.

Finally, Christ, they really get into the fucking “BASE-BALL!!!!” shit right away, huh?

[somshriveleddicks]

This is som really good Philip Dick here, maybe we should make this a sigh fi blog since we're just sittin here taking up literal space.

[70sscifiart]

Cover artist: Paul Lehr

[summeromegadeth]

Acid is Bad.

[somshriveleddicks]

This is literarily our favorite Dick.

[bad-postcards]

DEEP PENETRATION, STEADY OUTPUT

“Look Dad, spraying is easy…with a KWH mistblower!“ says Stephen Yates of La Crescent, Minn.

Use a KWH mistblower and save up to 80% in spraying-‘man’-hours, 90-95% in water.

KWH mistblowers give deep penetration — better coverage — at less cost.

KWH Dusters assure steady output — instant regulation — even spreading of granules.

[somshriveleddicks]

Weevil given up musak to go live on the farm. What is the point. Everything is suspective.

[getemgoob-deactivated20160824]

[somshriveleddicks]

This message approved by shriveled dicks everywhere.

[missysonlinemusings]

“It could be contagious” Your turn @pandoranora

[pandoranora-deactivated20181223]

What’s your favorite position Your turn @hungrylikekevin

[kevin-for-what-ails-ya]

(As she returns from the bathroom.): “So! Poop or pee?”

[codenamedutchess]

Bestiality, yay or nay?

[davidkendall]

“Mother loves this cologne.”

[pleasedontsqueezetheshhh]

Mind if I vape?

[summeromegadeth]

Summer of mega deth

[somshriveleddicks]

Wanna see my dick?