You mention "the good S15 that lives in your head" in Clairvoyant, and as someone currently watching S15 and overall cringing at the writing, I'd love to hear some of your thoughts for a better S15. 💖
Hiiii!! omg so disclaimer the season 15 that lives in my head is good to ME and probably 0 other people so i apologise if this is disappointing >…<
SO.
I have two versions in my head actually and the first one is evil as hell, I always thought with Sam’s visions in the early episodes that it was gonna end with him being boyking and dean being a demon and the whole world going to hell (which would’ve pissed everyone off but #tome is the best thing everrrr I wish sam & dean went dark side just once 💔) BUT that’s irrelevant to clairvoyant and also to the wants of 99% of people so alas I digress. ALWAYS free to talk about sam and dean going dark though.
The other one which I was talking about in clairvoyant I think it would be more accurate to say it’s the end of season 15 —> season 16 that lives in my head because a lot of this hinges on The Aftermath of season 15. I also haven’t thought about this for years so forgive me if it doesn’t make sense sksjsjsjsjs. I referenced it in the authors note because it was my rationale for why sam was so upset about killing Rowena, but unfortunately for you you will need to read all of my waffling until we get there😭
So: my main theory was that sam and deans heaven isn’t real and is instead an altered reality/some sort of half-truth to keep them complacent. I don’t believe Jack is God in the willing and autonomical sense, but rather Chuck possessed him or took control of him or something like that, if that makes sense? I am huge fan of the #ChuckWon theory, namely because no way in hell two humans are defeating GOD, and no way in hell is Jack turning tail and walking away without making sure Cas is out of the empty and safe. No chance in hell.
As for Sam’s life after dean dies I have two theories lol. The first one is that Sam’s “life” after Dean isn’t real namely because
a) his wife having no real identifying feature or significance in his life from what we saw in the finale —> chuck used her as a stopgap to explain why he has a son so sam would not question this reality) (also Im not misogynistic haha I literally have a 21 chapter fic about Sam and blurry wife I Love Them, but this provides rationale to why she is so censored and unimportant despite being a WIFE and MOTHER hello??).
b) the fact that Sam didn’t kill himself the second he lost dean considering they canonically have a track record of doing the fucking most for each other (Dean soul selling, Sam jumping into the cage, Dean KHS in red meat, Sam destroying himself during the trials, the amount of times they’ve either died together or for each other, sacrificing the world for each other….. the list goes on). Like, for purgatory, Sam had no idea where Dean was and if he was dead or not so it made sense to stay alive on the off chance of a revelation; unlike in the barn where Dean straight up died, it would make sense for Sam to follow through.
c) Sam post-15x19 life was entirely dean centric (yay for me!! But it doesn’t make senseeeee) with only pics of him, son named after him, etc. almost as if some alternate higher being was dead set on reinforcing how badly he misses deans and his Only Ultimate Happiness would come from being with Dean, hence why Sam gets to heaven he asks 0 questions and immediately lives his best life with his brother. Happy ending! NOT. in fact he is being pulled into a sense of false security because as far as he’s concerned he just endured a lifetime without him and they were apart for longer than they’d being alive together.
To bring Dean into this, it doesn’t make sense to me that he would just hang around heaven for like 40 years waiting for Sam. They canonically cannot be apart and it wouldn’t make sense that Dean witnessed what happened to Castiel and didn’t do anything about it. He had 40 years! Dean Winchester! He is not sitting on his ass waiting for Sam. So that’s why I think Sam’s reality is fake, and Dean’s heaven is fake. In terms of how they got to heaven, I think they either both died during the fight with god and their reality has been altered ever since, or they never actually died and this is a mind-fuck situation.
(my second theory is a lot sadder — everything’s the same except sam didn’t die in the God fight and just lost his mind, started hallucinating again, etc, hence why the finale Doesn’t Really Make Sense)
moving back onto the bigger picture, Jack being God would 100% mean he’s get Cas out of the empty. Jack loved Cas so much. So, my take is Jack is not present/in control/however you wanna swing it. this goes back to the chuck won theory — Castiel is in the empty and Dean and Sam are either dead in a fake heaven or alive in a fake reality (whatever u prefer). everyone is captive in some way.
sometimes I feel cruel and just end it there because I’m sick in the head. nobody ever knows the truth :-)
HOWEVER.
The kinder part of me likes to self indulge and think about Dean and Sam getting suspicious about inconsistencies (where’s Sam’s “family” in heaven, why does Cas never physically visit, why is Jack an absent god) and somehow they figure it out, break out of heaven/the fake reality (whichever one u prefer) , and break Cas out of the empty :-) #happilyeverafter
And if you want me to get really elaborate with it — Sam is canonically Rowena’s protege in s15 and she left all of her witchcraft things to him upon her death, she canonically taught him witchcraft throughout the late seasons, she is insanely powerful and now the queen of hell, so in my head she helps them get Cas out, whether literally or just via the knowledge she passed onto sam. Sam is going all out on the witchcraft in this theory btw. And the happy ending is Dean Cas and Sam alive + well, or dead and in heaven together as a trio. The end!
I think about this theory a lot but have never attempted to write it because every time I try, I get genuinely sad that in this version sam never had a son 😭💔
The theory could also work if you keep sam alive and have him do witchcraft in real time to like, ~try and save Cas, but I don’t really like that one either because I can never figure out how he’d get dean back considering the natural order is restored ://
but yeah, for pretty much every season I have “ok, this is canon and I’ll work with this” and “ok, this is bullshit and I can do better”. I flip flop between them on a loop. I hope this made sense and is incoherent rambling lol. It has been so long since I bounced theories off of someone :33 <3
i forget who said it originally but sometimes i think about dean driving faster and more recklessly while he’s arguing with sam. it scares the shit out of sam, i think. dean knows this. it didn’t start out as a conscious thing. like, dean didn’t start out doing it on purpose to scare sam. it really did start as an unconscious reaction. after a while he sort of picked up that if he started driving unsafely while he was fighting with sam, it gave him an upper hand, because sam would get anxious and relent without straight up expressing fear verbatim. dean just knows how to read him. the silence that would follow would be uncomfortable for an hour or two but at least the fight is over for now. this also lets dean sit in the feigned feeling of correctness.
the thing about "nothing is worth losing you" is like this is so central cas thesis about sam. he's saying it now in season 9 like as a product of being human and sam is accepting it as a progression of their friendship but he's been like that since day 1. by season 5 he was defying everything he stood for and going against people he knew for millennia and making poor decisions just cause he wanted to make sure sam wasn't killed.
if i was sam winchester i would have at least kept drinking demon blood on occasion to bust out some magic tricks. sam and dean are always like this fight is so bad this fight is so dangerous we only have our brotherly bond and our fists. plus our gay friend. well give the boy drugs then
Been slowly working through your SPN fics, and I wanted to shout out some of my favorite running themes that carry across! (Something that just doesn't work as well as a comment on a single fic.)
Cas wrapping his wings around Sam as a way to comfort and ground him. I'm so soft; it's so sweet.
Cas flaring his true form, shattering stuff all over as a way to convince Sam of reality. It's so dramatic, but I love the sentiment it manages to convey.
Sam struggling with losing time. It's a very immersive detail of his head space that you portray really well.
Cas weaving grace gently into Sam as a way to comfort him. All the little truly angelic touches Cas offers to Sam in your work are so lovely and such a great way to remind the reader that Cas isn't human and the way he expresses love won't be either.
The Enochian! Sam speaking Enochian. The way you conceptualize it, from all 3 of TFW's POVs.
Thanks for gracing the fandom with your lovely writing! I hope you have a great weekend. 💖
SKEHSKEHSJSSJ THANK YOU SO MUCH !?! :””) I’ve been watching your live reacts to my fics over the last week or so and it’s truly the sweetest thing ever, so receiving this ask on top of it is just SKSJSJ truly means more than I can ever hope to convey 🫂🫂🫂💕💕💕 I truly appreciate your support and kindness so so much, so thank you!! I’m so glad you love my fics and the way I write sastiel & also TFW as a whole. these details you picked out are some of my favourite concepts/headcanons and I am very enthusiastic about spreading the Word, so thrilled to see it succeeded here lol >u< I hope you have an amazing weekend too💖💖
Astra, I must ask what your thoughts are on the popular(?) Sastiel trope of Sam drinking angel blood. The idea that Sam thinks it can purify him, or that it could ease withdrawals from the demon blood.
Hiii!! 💕💕 ty for the ask! I was locked out of tumblr for like 2 years and I’m not 100% sure how this works so forgive me if I do this wrong SLSJSK.
ok SO. picture this: I’m levitating through the stratosphere to a whole other plane of existence. I love this trope so much!!!!!!
and there are not enough fics about it however I have Many Thoughts:
I’m a sucker for sastiel #experiments they do on the show and this totally fits the bill lol. I’ve never thought about it in depth before but this ask has the gears in my brain turning. There’s so many layers and possibilities. You can get silly with it like eg they do it like their typical experiments, or they just do it for funsies, out of curiosity, maybe it’s erotic, maybe they’re established and just want to be closer to each other, etc. or you can get super serious with it, it’s all about trying to purge your body of the blood it was born with, etc.
For me I love the concept because I really *REALLY* like exploring the psychological effects of Sam on demon blood and demon dean forcefeeding it to sam and possessing him wait what who said that and the aftermath of it all, so the idea of Sam doing a sort of reversal of the demon blood addiction with angel blood instead makes so much sense because he would, he’s so eager to be purified as we saw during the trials and I honestly think he’d stop at nothing if he thought it’d even give him a chance.
It’s especially good because if you flip it on Cas’s perspective it still makes sense!! of course he’d do anything to ease Sam’s suffering eg if he’s observing the panic room,, or maybe if he comes back Wrong in s6 and is still bodily impacted by severe withdrawals…… the possibilities are endless :3
ALSO sorry I’m genuinely ranting haha but I also need to add that any time I think about this trope I can’t help but think of the Other One (which I am not actually sure exists or if it’s another classic Astra Has Thought About This So Much She Now Thinks It’s Canon situation, so forgive me if the rest of this is shambolic) where around s4-5 Cas is like, holy angel of the Lord who’s not yet fallen from heaven, and sam is hopped up on demon blood and built to house the devil, and therefore any sort of prolonged contact between them burns/hurts/whatever because Pure Thing coming into contact with Contaminated Thing = they struggle to even be near each other. ‘Cause they’re pretty much polar opposites, purity and grace vs an abomination or whatever. Maybe it’s not even physical touch, maybe their presence alone is enough during those early days for it to hurt. So the idea of that being a reality and then sam drinking his blood anyways even if (when) it hurts him ….. #cheering #celebrating #smiling #atpeace etc etc.
IN CONCLUSION I love it very much :-) and I will also now be thinking about it non stop for the next 70 years. thank you so much
ik it was probably all planned from the beginning but I like to think around the fourth or fifth time Dean called ruby a hellbitch demonslut from hell she was like oh you know what. I'm about to be hilarious .
#honestly some people really are out there writing characters OOC#but within the story the characterization is consistent and engaging#and you’re like…ah…sometimes a weed is just a plant out of place
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