My dearest Katalya,
I hope this letter finds you well. If you are at peace, then I am glad beyond words. If, somehow, sorrow has found you even there, then you have my deepest sympathies.
Your children are safe. I made a promise, and I intend to keep it for the rest of my days. They shall never want for anything, for they are my children now as surely as they were yours.
They have grown so much since you last saw them. Sierra is eight years old now. You would scarcely recognize her. She has begun her lessons in swordplay, and she possesses the same natural brilliance her mother once did. Her instructors often remarks upon it. Every time I watch her practice, I cannot help but think of you. Oh, how I wish you could see her.
Little Ciero refuses to be left behind. Now that he has learned to persuade his guards to let him wander, he follows Sierra everywhere she goes. I suspect she secretly enjoys it, despite all her protests.
The Empire we built endures. It stands strong, though the nobility continue to invent new grievances with astonishing regularity. Their latest complaint is that too few of their children were admitted to the Academy. They blame everyone but themselves, when the truth is simply that they failed to prepare them well enough.
There is better news from the front. The Sixth Fleet has established a beachhead on the foremost world of Caranola. At long last, we are making our way back there.
I do not know what awaits me if I were to return.
The generals and the people alike ask that I take the vanguard once more. They remember the victories. They do not remember the cost as I do. I am afraid, Katalya. Not of dying, but of what I might become if I unleash those horrors again. I still see them whenever I close my eyes.
Our portrait hangs in my study. I look upon it every morning and every evening, and each time I am overcome by the same thought.
It should have been me.
I know exactly what you would say. You would tell me not to diminish my own life. You would remind me that the choice was yours, as it always was. That you would make that sacrifice a thousand times over if it meant protecting those you loved.
That knowledge does not lessen the weight I carry.
I miss you, my friend. More than I have ever managed to say aloud.
I should bring this letter to a close. I have kept away from my duties far too long already.
Perhaps, somewhere beyond the stars, these words will find you.
Until we meet again.
Your friend, forever,
Ana
