“I have come to the conclusion that femininity is the same thing as bootlicking. The art of servility. You can call it seduction to make it sound glamorous. But it is very rarely a skilled sport. For the majority of women, it’s the simple habit of behaving as an inferior. Walking into a room, checking whether there are men in it, wanting to please them. Not talking too loud. Not being forceful. Not sitting with your legs splayed to be more comfortable. Not speaking with authority. Not talking about money. Not talking to claim power. Not wanting a position of authority. Not seeking glory. Not laughing too loud. Not being too funny. Pleasing men is a complex art, which requires that one should eliminate anything remotely concerned with power […] Chatting is feminine. Anything that doesn’t leave a mark. Anything domestic, in need of redoing on a daily basis, unnamed. No great speeches, no great books, no great things. Little things. Sweet. Feminine. But drinking: manly. Having buddies: manly. Clowning around: manly. Earning lots of money: manly. Owning a fast car: manly. Slouching around: manly. Sniggering as you smoke joints: manly. Being competitive: manly. Being aggressive: manly. Wanting to fuck loads of partners: manly. Responding with violence to something that threatens you: manly. Not taking time to spruce yourself up in the morning: manly. Everything that’s fun to do is manly, everything concerned with survival is manly, everything that gains ground is manly. The daily grind is too restrictive for men who are artists, thinkers, complex and terribly fragile creatures […] great despair has a gender, too. What we practice is plaintive complaining.”
— Virginie Despentes, from King Kong Theory
