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Travels and Dancing 32

Last time I left you with my return from Korea being sick and having no voice. Well, it only got worse. Loll I canceled classes for the week to not contaminate people with whatever I had, to rest and to hope and feel better for Swing in Bloom to be able to fulfill my contract, which is really important to me. On the Thursday of the event, I had to come to the conclusion that I was not going to be able to speak at all and that I had a two hours intensive the next day, plus many workshops and privates to teach on the weekend. So I decided to get creative. I contacted an All-Star from Ottawa, who is also use to teaching, and asked him if he could assist for the two hours intensive. First, so people could at least have a visual of two people doing it correctly if I can’t speak through it, and second, so he could share the important points I felt people needed to hear while I mimicked the rest. I did write ups for him to read, tried and make them a bit funny and… it went amazing! All weekend people were raving about my workshops even though I had no voice… like literally no voice. Honestly, it was such a great experience to see how much you can transmit no matter what! I am really grateful for everybody who helped me that weekend with even bringing me warm water, with everybody’s patience and willingness to take a class with a momentarily mute teacher.

But besides that, the most important point is that it was an extraordinary weekend! Did I miss being able to participate in conversation instead of just smiling and nodding on the side? Yes. Was it nonetheless one of the best organized events I’ve ever worked for? Also, yes. The team did an amazing job making sure all the staff was taking care of so we could take care of the attendees. 100% would recommend to add to your list for next year!

The next weekend was my first full weekend in Montreal since the beginning of January… and we were now at the end of April!!! I decided to sponsor a show through Sonya Dance Studio that is called: The Slut Show. It is organized by a couple of Montreal strippers and business women to honor the work these people are doing and give them the spotlight. It was absolutely impressive: the pole work, the crowd work, the charisma, the wildness. It made me so happy to be able to support women (and men) in that way. Then some of my friends were organizing a weekend workshop with Deon Harrell. I met with him in the morning to train, exchange and maybe see what we could create together… more to come on that. Then I participated in the workshops as a lead all day to see what his approach to the dance and teaching were. And I have to say, I am impressed. It also aligned really well with what I teach my students in Montreal, so I think it was as easy thread for them to follow. That evening, Deon lead a community workshop to talk about some ways we can be even more inclusive and it was absolutely eye opening. The conversation was led through such a positive lens, which was refreshing and got more people interested than if it had been through a more pessimistic approach. Well done Deon!

I taught a bit more in town for the last week of April and organized a couple meetings with the different sides of my family. I hadn’t seen people in so long… I love travelling and I still do not want to spend the winter in Montreal, but I was a bit sad that being away for three months also meant missing all the gathering, conversations, meet ups, activities and more with friends and family. So might as well enjoy it while I’m here!

It was then time to fly to Seattle to get on my very first Alaska Dance Cruise! I was excited about it because, of course, I’m excited about every opportunity to discover anywhere new, but my normal liking of warm weather didn’t have me completely convinced; we normally go to the Caribbean every year for that cruise, alternating between ports like Aruba, Curacao, Mexico, Jamaica, Caymans, etc. It ended up being my favorite cruise ever! If you ever had a doubt about doing one, book it now. I loved that the boat was a bit smaller, the atmosphere just a bit calmer than it normally is on the bigger Caribbean cruise, I loved the ports, the layout of the ship, the activities, and most of all, the company I had with me.

On the first day, we had a meet and greet with everybody that was part of the dance group and the staff got introduced to the students. The rest of the day was free to get settled into our cabins and roam around before the night social. I had a good friend joined me on the cruise for the first time. She had asked me a couple years ago, but I was bringing my boyfriend at the time with me. Then last year, by the time she reached out, I was already matched with someone. I was so happy to have a roommate I know, that has the same kind of pace and likes for the weeks, with whom I can have discussions, enjoy, have fun, get ready together. It was a really special bonding moment for me. The next two days we were at sea, which means we teach workshops during the day, enjoy the boat’s activities, and have a social at night. We also crossed a fjord which was absolutely breathtaking. The color of the water under some sheets of ice and besides the boat, the wild animal sightings, the fresh air, the sun on our skin, the beauty of a nature so majestic it’s hard to take in… it was truly magical.

Our first stop was Skagway. Phil, Flore, Jacob and I booked a ticket for the White Pass & Yukon railway. I was hoping it would be a nice ride, but, you know, it’s just a train ride. Oh no! It was absolutely stunning! First, you could go on the platform between the wagons and stay outside for the entire trip which lasted about an hour and a half. The air felt so good on my skin, although it was dropping quite quickly and dramatically as we ascended higher and higher to where the gold rush sent people to their fortune or their death many years ago. Inside, they were telling you stories of the gold rush while you witnessed incredible landscapes, cliffs, raging water, fjord, wild animals. We ended the day in Liarsville with an unexpected musical comedy with surprisingly great artists (meaning we weren’t expecting such talent in, literally, the middle of nowhere) and a lesson on how to extract gold nuggets with a pan. That day is engraved in my memory forever.

Our second top was Juneau. Phil, Flore and I decided to book an easy hike/walk to a Fjord. The place was beautiful as always, we did some fun videos together, and met a passionate German bird photographer who immigrated there 30 years ago with absolutely no regrets. I haven’t mentioned it yet, but it was the first year for Phil and Flore on the cruise and they really were the best part of it for me (alongside Erica and Jacob). I am always slow at making friends, letting people see me, understanding that people like me and want a relationship, being vulnerable, taking the time to deepen bonds… I would have said that Phil and Flore have been friends of mine for years, but that week for me really solidified the bonds and I felt like I could be myself in a more… intimate way? It is hard to describe, but for example: I like to touch people, I am a touchy feely person. But I had never really hugged, petted, spent time cozying up with Flore, and we did on the cruise, her sitting beside me, leaning her head towards me, me petting her hair. I haven’t even told them that and I don’t know if she would even remember, but for me it was a beautiful and meaningful moment. They had also brought a type of escape game you can play in a team with your phone and that created really interesting bonding moments working together, but also being tired and getting strong-willed each at a time. ;-)

The next stop was Ketchikan were we decided to just walk around for the day. We did some shopping (Phil, Flore, Erica and I), I finally found earrings that talked to me (that is my go to souvenir anywhere I go: easy to carry with you, and something I will absolutely use), we tasted some great coffee, people bought souvenirs for their family, we went through a fair, we saw the walkway through the village, and we visited a museum talking about the history of indigenous people of the islands. Lots of art which I have been fan of since staying on Hadai Gwaii island for a month yearssss ago!

The last stop was Victoria, which is my favorite place in Canada. I stayed there for a few months at the end of Covid to train at a circus school and teach wcs to the community: they are the sweetest, most amazing people I know! I love them and miss them so much. Unfortunately, we only had a couple hours to walk around, but we made the most out of it, having the Americans taste some food, seeing the lights at the parliament, trying to see the tiny street in the oldest Chinatown, but it being closed, someone taking a human pulled tuk-tuk back to the boat. ;-)

We had a fancy dinner and then had to go back to real life… which honestly, for me, is as good as it gets. ;-)

Canadian Swing Dance Championships was the weekend after. I had the chance to room with a pro Lindy-hopper from New York. I always love rooming with a new person because you always end up having a great conversation at some point during the weekend and creating a bond that might not exists without that. It was an intense weekend of working, teaching workshops, coaching a rising star couple, giving privates, judging an insane amount of great teams of all genres of swing, and performing! They had asked who wanted to be in the Invitational crossover and I said yes: of course I want to ridicule myself in front of 600 people, what’s the fun in life otherwise? They created a WhatsApp group with all the teachers that were going to be dancing and we decided to meet up and exchange a bit of each of our dance to try and put up the best show possible for the audience. For example, we would teach somewhat “classic” wcs moves to the lindy hoppers that would make the crowd go berserk, like one footed spins, dips, waves, illusion turns, a linear sugar push. ;-) They would show us Charleston in shadow position, a swing out with some variations, and more. One of the Lindy pro starts describing a move that could be cool to do and we were all really confused. He found a video to show us and it looked exactly like what he was trying to describe: the follow on the ground, the guy jumping in a 69 over two, pancaking her to the other side and her swimming on top of him while he’s scooting on the ground. Yeah… you have to see it to believe it. So obviously, yours truly was like: YES WE NEED TO DO THAT! So we start trying. Kyle and Melodie can’t even do it because they’re laughing so much, I do if with Florent and AJ, and I tell the three guys who are there: If I draw any of you, I’m lying on the ground until you jump on me and we do the move. Don’t leave me hanging. The absolute best part, is that Florent tried to do it during the show, on Flore, who wasn’t there at the practice and it turned into something hilarious and a great set up for me, who amazingly drew AJ. I told him before we started: second song. Because the first one is generally a Lindy and I trusted him to create something interesting enough for the both of us, the last one is a wcs and I trusted myself to create something, but the second one was often a jive which neither of us knew much about. Anyway, needless to say, it was a crowd’s favorite and even made the lindy hoppers talk on social media about that move being back: The Boat. I tell you, I prefer that name than the ones I had in mind for it.

I had a whole weekend without working after that. WHAT??? Well, I had to go to the doctor because I was starting to feel sick again… well, it had never completely left me, I had been feeling exhausted for the past month, but putting it on the account of having lots of work (as always) and lots of travels. Turned out I had bacterial bronchitis for the last month. Oh well, antibiotics and off we go. Then I decided to drive east of Quebec to sleep by the river in my car in the middle of nowhere. I unfortunately was too in a hurry to leave and forgot to check the temperature: it was 3 degrees at night and I got pretty cold, didn’t sleep utterly well, but still had a peaceful and restorative time, great food, beautiful bicycle rides and discovered new music while driving.

The following weekend was Nanaimo Dance Fusion. An event I love because it is so peaceful and relaxing… something about the place, the convention center, the event organizer who is so organized and so laidback at the same time. The schedule made sense, I could go from workshops to privates to judging in a smooth fashion and even take time to just be with the people. Lately at events, I have been trying to set a determined number of privates I do and keep some time to myself to relax, go see what my peers are teaching, and actually have social battery to be present and have discussions with people. We had a beautiful Thursday night with some of the staff at a delicious wine place, I had a few meaningful conversations with different humans that I like and discovered through the weekend, and an awesome late night conversation on the Sunday. But I have two say, there were more highlights to my weekend. First, watching one of the line dancer perform who is in top shape and 55 years old. I had been doing a lot of reflection prior to that about doing so much work for the studio and not having time to train for myself and dance; all that based on society’s voice that tells you that you can’t dance forever so you should build another plan. Well, the reality of it, is it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy: the more you work on something else (admin let’s say), the less you train, the less you dance, the less energy you have to do it, the less in shape you become, the less you can dance. So I said no. Fuck that shit. How about I dance until I can’t dance anymore? Which by the way is going to be the day I die. Yes I am aware that the body changes, that injuries can happen (by the way, they happen at twenty years old also), but again, it is not by not dancing that one becomes more able or capable at dancing. That could be an entire blog by itself. Where I was going with that is that I had the chance to be on the same flight back with that artist and have a long discussion about dance, age, dance life expectancy and I told him: Am I crazy to think I have a good ten years still? And he said: Twenty. I am very much looking forward to the rest of my dance life.

The second highlight was having a true Jack and Jill at the Invitational level which rarely happens. The event director had asked us to choose a song for each of the leader we might draw for the Invitational while the leaders did the same for us. We were going to dance both songs. Before the competition, I asked a few follows who they thought they were going to get or who they wanted to get and they asked me the same. I said for the song Za, I absolutely want to dance to that song and I thought it would be a good fit for him and I. When they called our names together I was ecstatic. And… we killed it. It had been a long time since I had a dance with someone where the trust is automatic and I felt completely and utterly supported; I knew I could let my body express how it wanted to and that he would be there for me. I think we put on a good show. Thank you for that Za!

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Beginning of June and another weekend without work??? I had planned that weekend months ago with my dear friends Nelson and Clare. Nelson invited us to his place, we ate, swam, danced, talked, visited, ate some more, drank some good wine… but the best part was the bounding that was created through helping each other. I needed to find new song options for a potential partnership and the solo research felt daunting with the short amount of time available to do so. Clare suggested we used her AI agent to describe our dancing and the style we wanted and it delivered: I now have a few options of amazing routine songs! Nelson had to choreograph a team routine so we all helped and gave our input for him to have the best routine possible and the smoothest process through it all. For Clare, I think it was less tangible, but she is in such a happy place right now so just being there to listen and support her and be happy for her and with her, I think was a big part of it. Nelson also bought us clothes from the store he works at with his employee discount so we could have a really cheap and beautiful new wardrobe. Clare and I drove back to Montreal on the Sunday to go to the last Westie Café of the season which was full of beautiful happy dancers and families!

Now the big part of this blog… I am so happy. We have to go back 24 years ago, a broke little Sonya in Montreal trying to find free activities to do. I found a dance show in a Maison de la Culture. You never know with those sometimes it’s good, sometimes it’s horrendous, but you get a good laugh from it (always better to go with a friend for that reason). On that day, I discovered Rubberbanddance Group. Precursors to the mix of genres that did not exist back in the days. They were dancing a blend of contemporary and hip-hop/breakdance on classical music. Their quality of movement was incredible, really rubber band like. I was literally on the edge of my seat for the hour and a half the show lasted. That’s the day I fell in love. Fast forward two years later, I turn 18 and realize I can do what I want with my life. I create a bucket list. In that bucket list, there are random elements such as: do psychanalysis for at least a year, get a half-sleeve, travel around the world and, train with RBDG. I did not know how that was going to happen, but it was there. A few years later, they started doing intensives for dancers who wanted to learn their method. I saw it and I could give you a bunch of excuses as to why I didn’t apply before, but the true reason is that I never thought I was good enough. Kind of the story of my life. Yes, even in wcs. So, for those who read the last blog, I talked about the zouk training in Thailand and how disappointed I was because I thought after investing a month of my life, all that time, money and energy, I would really have leveled up in zouk and it wasn’t challenging enough to bring me there, so I thought; never again. Two weeks later, I see the advertisement for the RBDG summer intensive and I tell myself fuck it. But! Even in that fuck it, I wrote them to say: I am not trained in contemporary nor hip-hop, but I am a wcs professional, I do not want to waste your time, could I still apply? They basically said: well, apply and you’ll see. I did. Two weeks later, I received an email saying I was accepted in the 2026 summer intensive program week one.

That was last week. I had the chance to live what I can truly call a lifelong dream. Am I sad I waited that long? Absolutely not. It was exactly the right amount of waiting: my head was in the right place to enjoy every second of the week. I told myself that I was going to check my mental talk, and what a difference it makes! I took a couple notes about how I went about the process.

To check

-Repertoire is hard for me. FALSE.

TRUTH: I AM LEARNING NEW NEURO PATHWAYS TO MVT WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT I CAME HERE FOR.

-It’s hard. FALSE

TRUTH: I AM SO GRATEFUL TO HAVE A BODY THAT IS ABLE TO DO ALL THESE THINGS. THIS IS NEW INFORMATION AND IT TAKES A BIT TO PROCESS. It’s normal.

-Got a bit overwhelmed with floor stuff, it started going up to my chest and throat, I can’t. FALSE.

TRUTH: WHAT DO I NEED TO SUCCEED? LET’S TAKE IT NICE AND SLOW. DO I NEED TO ASK A QUESTION? WHAT IS THE QUESTION? DO I NEED TO PUMP MYSELF OR SLOW DOWN?

-I am petrified of the cypher. DOESN’T HAVE TO BE.

TRUTH: IF I CAN GO INTO A CYPHER BY MYSELF, I CAN TRUST MY BODY MVT W ANYBODY IN A JAM / CONFIDENCE

-Good I’m only doing a week, we’re reaching the max of my capacity. FALSE.

TRUTH: I am tired, sad, on my period, I have to take care of my shoulder AND I’m still managing to do all the things

-My mvt/how I want to move is too much. FALSE.

TRUTH: I AM ENOUGH. I AM PERFECT. IN THIS MOMENT THERE IS NOTHING MORE TO DO THEN ENJOY.

(To check more cause ouch!)

-It’s ok I’m never been the best. FALSE

TRUTH: It doesn’t matter. I CAN BE THE BEST ME!!! WHAT IS THAT TODAY AND EVERYDAY? That pushes you far.

-I suck (after seeing the videos where my legs don’t move. FALSE

TRUTH: I already had told myself I wanted to work on my legs. I now have a purpose to train them and am excited to do so. Isn’t it amazing to have something to work on and to look forward to?

It made me see how much more training you get in with that mindset and how far someone can go if they start with the premise of I CAN. I have so much more to say about this, but I will keep it for a newsletter article. Other than that, I was double the age of everyone else in the group. Well, one girl was 24yo, the youngest was 16, but most were 18-19-20 and in or freshly out of the best professional dance programs in Canada and in the US. It was so inspiring to see everybody’s movement and approach to dance, their fear about the future, and their excitement about a potential career in different companies, I was in awe all week. It was so stimulating to have such an invested and diverse group where everybody was pushing everybody upwards, none down. One of our trainer won Revolution (an amazing Quebec dance TV show), one of the guy in our class won another year, two guys are on the show this year and going towards the final, one of the girl was on it also, and maybe more that I am not even aware of. Each day we would do a class about the concepts of RBDG method, then floor work (which would be akin to breakdancing), one hour lunch, partner work, then repertoire (which is learning a choreography from one of their previous or current shows). Repertoire was such an emotional part of the day for me. First, because it challenged my body by being so far out of the way it normally wants and is used to moving. Second, because I was putting in my body, to the best of my abilities, movement that I have seen and followed for 24 years. The concept part was eye opening and most of it I want and will bring to wcs, into my dancing and my teaching. The floor work was a definite favorite of mine and made me want to get into break dancing. The partner work is where I felt the more comfortable and felt that I could bring something to my partners during the week, even just for the communication aspect of it. On the Friday, we had a showing in front of the other groups and a party/cypher time which was so comfortable with the incredibly supportive atmosphere they created for us. We all finished at the company’s office for a small gathering. I mingled with different groups and at the end went to sit beside the company’s director and had the chance to have a long discussion about dance, his company, his method, his process. Finally, I bought a hoodie to keep them with me forever (insert evil laugh).

On that Friday, Alyenendrov Tsorokean, who I had hired to come teach a bodyweight, tricks and lifts workshop in Montreal, was arriving. I organized for him to be able to get to my place so I could finish the week’s intensive. I got home after a looong day, we prepared the workshops and went to bed. Saturday was an early morning to get some food in us for the day before getting downtown (I had to rent another studio for the workshop, the ceilings of my studio being too low). We walked around a bit, got coffee, and started the workshops. I wish there would have been more people in the intensive. I can see now that people were scared. I think they got scared of his titles and thought: I am a complete beginner, why would I go train with him? As one of the student said after the classes were done, I should have focused more on the fact that he is an amazing pedagogue. Everybody was ecstatic to see how much they could achieve as the day went on. It was so impressive. I knew that, I tried and tell people they didn’t need previous experience, they could be beginners, that we were going to start with weight sharing, dips, slides, and stuff they already do on the dancefloor to then get to a baby lift… I’ll know better for next time how to approach it on a marketing stance point, and the people who were in the class were so happy and proud that I have no doubt they will talk to all their friends and the next workshops will be full. Aly stayed in town for a few days after that and we had time to exchange west coast swing lessons for cabaret lessons which was absolutely incredible for me, and I hope for him also.

That’s it for now. See you all at Liberty Swing next weekend!

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #westcoastswing #modernswing #wcs #dancer #life #dance #Instagram

Travels and Dancing 31

I could write a 6000 words blog post about each day or week of my life, if I did it at the perfect intersection: soon enough to remember everything that happened and further enough from it that I’d have some insights on it.

But as my travels continue, I’m finding that pieces of amazingness are slipping through my fingers and my thoughts. What I do know, is how grateful I am for the life I have. I have secluded myself from others and outside noises so much in the last month, by necessity, my body demanded it, and by choice, to have time to reflect, see where I’m at in life and where I want to go. This is most likely the middle of my life and far from having a crisis, I’m realizing how align most things are. Not all, but most. Of course, the one interrogation point that might stay like that forever, is the idea of a family. It might be jet lag, it might be tiredness, it might be different food choices, it might be so many things, but I think it is peri-menopause. There is so little we know about it, but from the changes I’m observing in my body, it is the most likely explanation. So at forty years old, possibly in peri-menopause, feeling so good by myself, not being quite ready to meet someone after my last breakup… what are the odds of me getting in a healthy relationship, knowing the person enough to feel like it would be a good parenting match no matter what happens with the rest, and getting pregnant? Not high. Not impossible, but not high. So the more I think on it, the more I organize my life around that fact and… I love what I’m creating. So conflicting emotions arise: if I feel so good, would I really want my life to change with a family? No. Would I welcome it with open arms if it happened? Yes. I feel like the ultimate emotional maturity is being able to hold two completely opposite feelings at the same time: grief and joy, love and heartbreak, anger and softness… but as of now, I am making the best out of where I’m at.

That includes where I left you with the last blog, leaving the Philippines and going to Bali. You know some places you land at and you automatically know it’s a match for your soul? Some other, you automatically know it is not, but if you planned a whole trip around it with so much energy and investment, you pretend it’s a fit and plow ahead. I landed late in Bali and… loved it. Just a cozy, loving vibe from the start. The driver who picked me up for the hour and a half drive to Ubud was so calm and everything was so easy. I got to my hotel and settled in for the night. The next day I left to start exploring all the amazing coffee shops, boutiques and places to walk. I wondered around the rice fields on a little trail in the north of the city, did a yoga class, had great food, and when it was time to get back home, it was pouring. It started pouring for four days. Non-stop. Everywhere they’ll tell you that rainy season is not that bad, that it rains an hour a day and then it’s over. Well, not that time. At some point, I started to wonder if the island could take anymore or if we were going to sink. Kidding I know it doesn’t work that way, but seriously was wondering if we were going to get flooded. We did… but just in the south, they were evacuating tourists on boat. I was safe in Ubud and for the first three days, I loved it. I was just walking to cafés, enjoying the slow pace, but on the fourth day, I was over being utterly soaked at every moment of my life. And it stopped. Perfect timing.

For my birthday, I gave myself two gifts (well, let’s say three if we count this amazing trip I am on). First, I found this spa package that was ridiculously cheap. I think in Canadian dollars, it ended up being 130$? I got to the spa, they gave me fresh juice and let me chose the products and smells I wanted them to use on me for the day. Well, they actually let me split the package over two days so I could really enjoy everything as I wished. The first day, I had a facial treatment and a hair spa. Omg. The joy of having someone take care of your hair: when does that ever happen in North America? Ok, you go for a haircut, maybe they give you a two minute massage while they wash your hair, but that’s about it. Here, they wash it, massage it, condition it, massage it again, massage your scalp and your neck and your arms, put a mask on it, let it dry, bring you more juice, massage you again… it was extraordinary and the first time my hair didn’t look like a sack of hay since I left for this trip a month ago between the heat, the salt water, the sand, the sweat and the low quality hair product I had access to. To send you off, they bring you ginger tea and a plate of fruit. You think this is good? Wait for the second day. They welcome me with a glass of fresh juice again, then bring me to a seat to wash my feet in a flower filled water basin. The hour and a half massage was first. Perfect pressure, perfect everything. Then the body scrub and body mask. Finally, they prepare a flower bath. I had told them it was my birthday… I get in the room to see a beautiful flower-made Happy Birthday written in the bath. They served me tea and fruits and I got to enjoy this amazing set up for half an hour. When I was done, they brought me to the terrace to enjoy a delicious traditional Balinese meal with refreshment. When I was done, two of the women came out with a cake with a candle to wish me a happy birthday. I tried not to cry too much. Because it was an amazing experience, and because I was alone on my 40th birthday and realized they were the first and only ones to wish it to me in person. I was particularly grateful. The second part of my gift, was a beautifullllll dress I saw in the window of a shop. I normally don’t buy much (I prefer experiences), but this was too good to pass. It is really similar in cut to the red dress that got me so many great experiences in the last five years, but this is an upgrade in style: real silk with Balinese flower pressing and the scarf to go with it. I can’t wait to wear it and feel classy!!!

I got the privilege to give a private lesson to the west coast swing teachers who are developing the scene in Bali. Two amazing people. Let’s see if we are lucky enough, it develops and bit, and… who knows what we can create over there? Anybody interested in partnering up? J I went to try a delicious restaurant with them and was grateful for the connection. I tried more yoga places, wine bars and I found an aerial studio. Well, really it’s a castle. A beautiful outdoor rigged majestic space. I was so in need of training after the catastrophic week in the Philippines. I got to do a duet on a kind of looped strap (not sure if it has a specific name) with the machine pulling us up and down, both of which I had never done before. Then Mathia arrived. I had met this girl for five minutes in a room party at TAP, somehow mentioned my trip, and she said she’d like to join. I said sure. So many people say that, so sure. She asked me for my Instagram. Two weeks later, she asked me for my itinerary. Two weeks later, she asked me if those flights looked good. Oh. Wait, you’re really coming? Ahaha, amazing!!! Since then, we had done a one hour call to figure out where we were going to stay and that’s about how much interaction we had had, so I was curious to see how the trip was going to go. It went… perfectly!

She got to the Airbnb in the middle of the night, I was sleeping and left the door unlocked. We woke up, had breakfast there and went training together. We explored so many great restaurants, went for more massages, shopped (although one of us likes shopping way more than the other – hint, it’s not me -), drank some wine, tasted delicious coffee, and so much more. But more than that, we had some incredible adventures. One of my favorite is a day trip to Tanah Lot. We started in the morning with a stop at Ulun Danu Temple. Did we see anything on the drive with the amount of fog there was? No. Did we see the lake the temple was built on? Also no. But it was a unique experience to witness it in that state: how many people get that view (or lack thereof)? Then we drove to Jatiluwih rice terrace, a Unesco site. If I have learned one thing so far, is that you cannot be disappointed with anything that is included in the Unesco Heritage. I could have stayed there all day, which we almost did because I was too excited and ran ahead of my friend and we lost each other… for two hours. Loll. Thank god for her patience, and for my infinite enjoyment of walking in those fields. I had a coconut and plantain chips, we reconvened and left for the last stop of the day. We had dinner on the way with a view on more rice field and finally made it to Tanah Lot, which was the initial goal of the trip. I had seen it in a coffee table book at the massage place and just fell in love. We walked around, took pictures and almost had a sunset through the clouds… almost. We left before the next downpour and asked our driver to leave us at a Latin social dance in town where I saw my Westie friends for the last time.

Another fun night was when we decided to go see The Secret Comedy Show. It’s in a tiny room that can hold twenty spectators almost sitting on top of each other. Was it the best show I’ve ever seen? No. But the guy was good, created lots of public interaction and made us feel like a family for a couple of hours. Both Mathia and I won the two drawing: a tot bag in exchange for a dance. Perfect candidates. But the magic really started after. I was hungry and wanted to check their restaurant. We entered this strange spaceship looking elevator, found the restaurant, but there was nothing interesting. So we started walking towards the exit on a fancy ramp when I saw someone enter a mirror and lots of noise coming out of it. The entire hotel architecture was unique, but that? We get to the mirror and we see a tiny place to push, and then… magic! A hidden speakeasy karaoke that is so narrow, it’s almost dizzying and it looks like its part of a boat. We stay for a bit, Mathia sings and when we are about to leave, we come across a nice woman, start chatting, get a round of delicious shooters paid by one of the staff member, and finally make our way to a nice dinner. Thank you Mathia for making that part of the trip (aka my birthday week) feel amazing. Thank you for the discussions, the help with work, and everything else you gave me without asking for anything in return. Perfect week.

The morning I left, I felt sad. I also felt like it was a mistake, that I shouldn’t go to Ko Pha Ngan and that I should stay in Bali. I think my feeling was right. Not that I didn’t end up loving my stay in Thailand (especially in retrospect… less during), but Bali has my heart. So cheesy, so many people say it, so many people feel that way, and that’s why I’m wondering if Bali is going to put a limit on the amount of people who can stay there: it’s getting so overcrowded. I was lucky, I was there during low season, and for me, it was the perfect amount of people (and traffic), but high season… I can’t even imagine. I flew to Singapore and then to Koh Samui. I had to rush to find a taxi to get to the ferry, which the taxi people felt and took advantage of that fact to scam me, managed to get on the ferry (which was beautiful), then got showed in three different taxis before I could finally get to the hotel. People were rude all along the way and I was really trying to check my attitude and my vibes to know if I was the one creating that, but I really don’t think so. I got to my room in the dark, met my roommate for the month (or so we thought) and went to bed. The room wasn’t the one I paid for, the hotel staff was unhelpful, and a lot of other things I will skip that made the first ten days really intense, but as soon as I could relax and finally let go of expectations… everything went better and better each day. I called the island the Non-sense Island: you don’t get what you want, but you definitely get what you need. Anything you try to plan for will go sideways. And I am not saying it only from my perspective, you could see it and hear it from every single person who got there. We all needed at least a week to adjust. And by adjust I mean let go of everything you thought this was gonna be and let the island do its thing. Once you got with the program, it was smooth. Apparently the program for me was doing nothing. Well, the most nothing I’ve done in years. Which for me involves training in zouk for four to six hours a day, work four hours a day, and enjoy the free time. I didn’t go to half the socials, I missed some classes, I didn’t rent a scooter, I didn’t do excursions; I slept, I read for hours, I reflected, I wrote, I enjoyed the beach, I ate, I trained a bit, I talked with people, I tried a couple restaurants and a couple coffee shops and that was it. For a month. I ended up getting the room I paid for ten days in (which is a big part of why I could finally relax and rest), my roommate and I separated with so much love for each other and I started breathing. The sunsets were a show every evening and the main project of my day, whatever non-plan I had for this particular 24h was organized around the fact that I was going to watch the sunset no matter what.

The reason I went there in the first place was to train for zouk. When I was planning my trip, I was looking for an itinerary that made sense, flights I could buy with points, but most of all, purpose. I have travelled so much by myself, so it’s not that I can’t do it or that I’m scared, I’m just tired of not sharing memories with anybody. Retelling a vacation is not the same as looking at the person who lived it with you and through their eyes remembering everything. So my first desire was to be with people somehow. Then I know I like traveling, but again, to what end? So I thought on what else I like doing: training. The first part of my trip was The Maldives for a pole retreat (people and training), the second part was the Philippines in a small group tour (people), the third part was in Bali with a new friend (people and the possibility to train there), and the fourth part was going to be for one month of Brazilian zouk training (people and training). Perfect. Honestly, that was an expensive part of the trip. The island is 40% (or more) more expensive than the rest of the country, places to stay are costly, restaurant options in the area are expensive, the scooter and transportation mafia make going anywhere expensive, the month of training was expensive… so I had really high hope. That was supposed to be the highlight of the trip. Me, the dancer who is always teaching, every evening and every weekend, which makes it complicated to take any type of classes, finally giving myself the gift of training. Just for me. But I’ve learned an important lesson… so I thought, but I seem to keep making the same mistake even after. I always underestimate myself. I want to be humble, I value that as a quality, I don’t like arrogant people and I don’t want to be a prick and sound like I think I know everything. So when I hear of a month of zouk training, with a one year of zouk general entry level to access most of the classes, I think to myself: this is perfect for me! I have done zouk approximately five times through the last ten years at crossover events I was hired for or going to one zouk weekend in Canada, surely this is what I need. I need/want to learn the basic mechanics of zouk, the essence of the dance, leave with a good intellectual and bodily understanding of the dance. I did not. Don’t get me wrong, there were good teachers, classes well structured, interesting drills to do… but most of what we did let’s say in the first thirty hour week of training, I could have done in a one hour private lesson. Even writing this I feel bad, I feel like I’m bragging. I need to deconstruct this thought pattern in my brain. And I tried. I tried to be the best student I could, watching everything, listening carefully, digging for gold nuggets throughout, and I found some, but not enough to justify the investment of time, money and energy.

The second week was worse. Everything that was taught were things I have been teaching for years, and again, I am trying not to be pretentious and listen to the way things are said, see what I could bring into my teaching, get inspired… but yeah. The third week was interesting for me. Not the best pedagogue, so you have to be able to watch and reproduce, but because they were going fast and doing a lot of zouk coded movements (mostly head movements), I could learn a lot. The fourth week was the close embrace intensive and even though it was a really slow pace, I enjoyed just letting go, getting closer to people, connecting, hugging, and the teacher is a marvelous pedagogue so I also loved just digging for gold in what was said. The last piece was the advanced week, which I was really excited for… the first day was a rehashing of what we did with those teachers in the first week (with more details and faster) and then one foot spin drills and counterbalance… we have so much of these in wcs, I didn’t learn anything new. The second day was the best learning day of the month for me. Great teachers, good pace, good material, and fun people. When I got the feeling in my body of the way she moves, I was ecstatic, I didn’t want to let it go. I still don’t want to let it go. It broke me. It made me so sensitive to every little detail of my partner (which I think I already was), that I couldn’t even social dance that night. I didn’t show up for the last two days, I was done after that and happy to get ready for the last part of the trip.

But! There was something else worth its own paragraph in the trip: the Zouk Island Festival. Honestly, it was the part I was the least excited about initially, not that I didn’t want to do it, but what I wanted overall was to learn. On that front, there were leveled classes and I dared consider myself advanced (which I still don’t think I am, but apparently for learning yes), and I enjoyed them very much. But besides and above that, every night of the festival there were ceremonies. Omg. The first night was the opening ceremony, welcoming words were said and the newest dancers were invited to form a circle in the center, then the more experienced around them, then another circle until everybody was surrounded and supported by the people who have been in the community prior to them. It was beautifully contained, presented and felt. Then we were invited to form a hive of four people who were going to be our anchors through the festival if we came alone and needed support, a smile, some warmth. We sat together and shared a bit about us, the real side of us, why we were there, not just what do you do for a living. Lastly, we were set in motion, walking around, looking at people in the eyes, then dancing in a sort of snowball and by the time we got with the last person, the energy was so hype that I danced until I felt like I was high. I honestly got a bit scared for a second and had to reason myself that I was not going to be sick, that everything was safe. I felt like the time I went to a rave, did speed, and couldn’t stop dancing. I knew I needed to pee and drink water, but I genuinely couldn’t. So I remember asking the guy who was on the speaker dancing beside me or someone around to help me, and they did. Same here, I couldn’t stop dancing. I was sweating and I needed a drink. I understood how people can dance for three hours with the same person in zouk (which is wildly foreign to wcs dancers). I had an amazing evening combined with a scooter ride in flip-flops, a dress and no helmet with my hair blowing in the wind. The epitome of not safe in our western standards, but one of my absolute favorite thing in the world.

The parties would start early, I think 5pm and finish at 11pm. There were after parties until 1pm, which I didn’t attend, and felt like I could get my share of dance and still feel fresh for the next day. On Saturday, everybody got a blindfold, someone I met put it on for me, and we found a space. After some time to ground, followers got their blindfolds off, started walking around, and stopped in front of a leader. We led them into different exercises and then we switched roles. We had to keep our feet grounded and be seaweeds for whom the leaders would encourage movement. It felt soooo good, that by the time we finished, people came to talk to me and I realized I couldn’t move my feet. In a good way, I just felt so anchored. So I stayed there for a while, dancing in place, until a woman came and asked me to dance and I told her I couldn’t move my feet. She said ok, and started to dance with me on the spot until it felt safe to move. That was the only dance of the evening for me (and when we say one dance in zouk, it’s however many songs and how long that lasted, which I have no idea of, it is not just one song). I hung around, had beautiful conversations, and a high-speed scooter ride back.

The Sunday Cacao ceremony was the absolute highlight of my month. I had a few dances, then we were called to sit in a huge circle around this magnificent venue we were in (we would dance in a different place/resort on the island every night). We set an intention from the earth, were handed delicious hot chocolate, sipped it sensuously, started walking around, connecting to others, sharing emotions without talking, the energy upped and upped, then we were animals facing each other, I got in front of my roommate and felt completely high on something as we laughed like maniacs, we ran, we jumped, and we came down. After that came the element dance. We had to find a person, chose who would start leading, containing, and who would be free and move with earth. Surprisingly, that one felt comfortable to me. I had been working so much on earthing so that felt like great news to me. Water is me, so that felt like home. When fire came, I hesitated for a second before stopping in front of someone I know. I think because I am afraid of showing my fire, I didn’t feel it in him, so I thought I needed to pair with someone who oozed fire. What a ride! The host instructed us to dig deep and connect with our needs, what we want and find the fire, and his eyes switch, a darkness that is so alluring, one you only read of in novels, I got high. I was the first one to lead and I had an hesitation right from the start as I saw what I was about to do and thought: that’s too much, I can’t do that. But then I said, hell no, he’s an adult, he can decide if it’s too much and stop me, and fire came. Oufff… it was so intense, so intense I had to go sit outside to process at the end. We finished with air and another exercise and they started an hour of dancing without any speaking allowed. I went outside, I didn’t feel like participating in that, wasn’t sure what I wanted, found a staircase that led to a little alcove overlooking the dance floor with an amazingly comfortable chair. I sat looking at the paper ceiling lamps saying in the breeze and started to process what had happened. Then they called: last song! What? I had been there for two hours, looking at the ceiling, processing, and it was the best night ever. Monday was the closing ceremony which we finished with our hives and a huge group hug. I love touch and people, but I always had blockages with these types of group hugs and cuddle puddles for some reason, but this felt aligned. So I will say, although I didn’t get what I wanted from that month, at all, on any level, I got a lot of what I… needed? Needed for evolving, and I love evolving and growing. What didn’t come into dance growth came into interpersonal growth. And that’s without mentioning the deep conversations about love, relationships, career, life purpose, alignment, patterns, money, menopause, and so much more. In hindsight? If you had told me how it was going to go, I would have probably cancelled the trip, but from this side of it, with everything I can hold in my heart from it, I’m really happy I had that experience.

Korea!!!! You know how everybody has a list, all the countries they absolutely want to see, and places they want to go to? Well, Korea wasn’t on mine. Obviously, I am interested in seeing all the things and anywhere in the world my travels and contracts take me, I’ll be happy to discover, but it wasn’t a priority. It started with rooming with the fabulous Heejung (most likely the top dancer and organizer in Korea) at an event last summer and her inviting me to come to Korean Open. I was already planning to leave for the winter, as I have promised myself I would do every year going back to Canada, but not until April, but… why not make everything work? So I took a local bus/truck, to a boat, to a shared taxi, to the beautiful outdoor Koh Samui airport, flew to Bangkok, got my luggage, checked in again, boarded my overnight flight to Seoul, and landed in Incheon. I was so lucky to have people welcomed me in their house: the apartments there are pretty small and it’s not so common to have people over… especially for a week. He also came and picked me up from the airport, I got home, took a nap, and thought I’d go explore for an hour before coming back, relaxing, working, and sleeping early. I ended up walking and exploring for eight hours!!!

I am so in love with that place, I already know I need to come back. I want to see the country side, nature, more temples, and more people. I am sad I don’t speak Korean so I could connect more with the locals. I love the culture, the esthetics, I want to buy everything: I normally don’t shop or buy many souvenirs, but here… I walked around Seokchon lake and I was lucky to be there in full cherry blossom season. The landscape was so sweet. I walked over to Lotte tower and thought, why not, let’s go up and see the view. Then I saw the sky bridge. You can put a one piece one, a harness, a helmet, attached yourself to a cable and go walk outside on a skimpy bridge at 541 meters in the sky between two peaks of the building. Yes. I got the last spot for the day, and what an experience it was. I found a vegan restaurant, walked some more, did some groceries trying to mimic what I was looking for to the locals - don’t try it, just use a translator app – and went back home to get some work done. The next day was pretty relaxed, and then I met with an American girl I knew to walk around Insa-dong, had delicious tea at an old house transformed, was amazed by the eternal juxtaposition of the landscape between old constructions, temples, skyscrapers, green rooftops, shops of all kinds, we found food, shopped around, and talked until my friend left for the evening. I still had some energy left in me, so I found a wine bar, and went to pole class. That was a strange experience: a whole hour with two short times on the pole to then take all the filming gears out to make sure everybody had nice videos… ok, so the goal is not to train, but have something for the gram. This is also where I thought I had learned my lesson about underestimating myself, but no. I had written to the studio before asking them what level would be appropriate for me, with some top moves I can do. I am generally advanced in most studios, but you never know, just like taking a wcs lesson in a different country: you might be level 12 at home, but it equates to a novice class over there. She told me I should come to pre-intermediate. Ok. No. I was not pre-intermediate. It was like the zouk month all over: paying money to not do anything of substance. Anyway, one day I will learn. Let’s make it today. Loll I thought of going home after that, but the night market was soooo close! So I walked over and did not regret it. Fascinating. Everything about it. The stalls, the food, the shops, the people, the atmosphere, the lights. By the time I got home, I had been gone for fourteen hours, and still had to do some work. I don’t regret anything.

The next day was a lazy working from home morning until everybody was awake and ready to go. We wondered towards the Starfield Library with my hosts, ate at an awesome vegan restaurant, and walked all the way to the Westie Gangnam studio for my first Korean workshop. I hadn’t taught a class with a translator for a loooong time. It’s easy for me to separate my speech into portions that make sense, but I forgot how long it takes to say everything in two languages and how much I have to adjust my teaching. When I do English/French classes or two languages I can translate myself, it goes faster because I can intertwine them through sentences… but everybody seemed happy with the material! The social dancing was great, although my body felt like it was in zouk consistence instead of wcs; softer, airier… I’m happy I have a couple days to readjust and find my footings again before having to dance in an Invitational. Sunday was a lazy morning, a vegan and rice flour (therefore gluten free) bakery, and an excursion to a Unesco Heritage site: the Namhansanseong Fortress. We had a beautiful spring walk on the walls, and finished the day with the most delicious meal ever at the Tofu House, a very local, very fresh – as in we make the tofu block on the lawn besides the restaurant – very healthy meal!

Monday was another working day… when I mentioned having to work through the trip, lots of people were commenting how sad or inconvenient. Is it? Really? I get to travel the world for two and a half months doing most of what I want, exploring, having extraordinary adventures, but I have to work… GREAT! I knew that before I left and I am extremely happy with the balance I found. A good friend from the US arrived that day and we had the honor of a delicious home cooked meal with great conversations. Tuesday was walking, exploring a new district, coffee shops, shopping without buying anything, and more work. Then it was time for the DMZ tour. What an experience! I had a nagging feeling that we were shown the worse of North Korea, but after that tour… I think we are shown what it is. The interview with a defector was particularly interesting and touching. This woman decided to risk her life and her family’s by attempting an escape through China with a broker. They made it out, and she thought they were going to stay there: they knew nothing about South Korea, but a little bit about China. It didn’t quite work out for them, but they met a missionary church that helped them get to South Korea… through Cambodia and Vietnam. They had to swim across a river to escape; she doesn’t swim. They stayed for five months in a refugee camp in Cambodia. When they finally made it here, they had to re-learn to live again: what is internet, wifi, how do you make money, how do you shop for shoes with six thousand options. She haven’t talked to her family that stayed there in a year when they had access to a phone by a Chinese broker. During the first regime, people would go to work and get “paid” with 700g of rice per day for an adult and 500g for a teenager. They’d also get clothes and other types of ratios that way. When the first dictator died and the son took over the country, the ration system collapsed; now people were going to work with no pay and no compensation what so ever. So people tried and go fish or hunt and exchange at the market… I’m skipping so many details, but to think that this is happening right now, beside us, in the same world we live in… it’s just wild.

We saw Peace Park and the freedom bridge where the soldiers were exchanged to go back to their countries. We went to the observatory where we could see propaganda village (a fake village that was constructed close to the border to make it look like North Korea was thriving) and an actual village at the base of the mountain, even saw some people walking around and carrying a wheelbarrow. We walked down third tunnel, all the way to one of the gate that is, if I recall correctly, 110m away from the border; the closest most of us will ever get to that country. I was happy to have two friends from the US with me on that tour so we could talk, share, enjoy, and make it a little lighter. We also visited a beautiful suspension bridge over Majang lake. That night, I decided to go explore one last area of town I hadn’t seen, and wow! My favorite place!!! I wish I had found it before, but I might have just been there for a week and not see anything else, so… It feels like a mini Brooklyn, really cool jazz bars, Spanish tapas, markets, shops, little coffees, speakeasy, gay saunas, and the best vegan restaurant in town. I am a fan of this city, the culture, the people, the pace, the vibe, the energy!

Last stop on the trip was Korean Open. I got to the hotel on Thursday, got some work done and social danced early so I could get a somewhat good night of sleep. On Friday, I came to watch Emeline and Jakub’s intensive and ended up joining as a leader. It is always so interesting to jump in the rotations again and see how much people think they are doing what the teachers are asking for, but they are not. Good reminder as a teacher. Anyway, the theme was really interesting and is something I really want to bring to my students. I taught one workshop, judged Strictly all-star/champ finals, and watched the pro demo. I was a bit sad not to join in, but we had one extra follow, so the event director decided to put me in the Invitational instead, which I appreciate and prefer if the choice is there. After that, I social danced a little bit and ended up nerding out about dance stuff with one of the All-star that was there. It had been so long I hadn’t danced, I wanted to figure some things out in my body and also in partnering. It was awesome and ended up with people joining us in the hallway, dancing, sharing, talking, two men exchanging pants for the next day’s competitions. It was glorious. Saturday was a pretty easy day for me, and there was finally an AS/Champ class that was not at the same time as my workshop, so I went to learn with Jordan and Tatiana, and… it was exactly what I needed: some footwork practice and connection logic on fast songs. Not that they were things I hadn’t done before, but they are so not my strong suit and not often lead lately so it felt perfect for me!

Some more judging, some chilling, and then it was time for the Invitational. It’s one of those events with a theme in the Invitational and it becomes a whole show on its own… I had heard of it, and was also told they wanted a show. Ok, no problem… not sure what I’m gonna do, but something will happen. And then, I realize I am last and after Tatiana. Ok, we need to strategize times ten. Loll I have to admit, the first song was K-Pop and the one we had I found a bit hard to attach to anything, thank god the public loved the song and we got the whole crowd to help put on a show. The second song was Sexyback. Ok. That I can do. ;-) So down I went, onto the floor, and my amazing partner didn’t miss a beat and started to drag me in what became the staple of the weekend. The all-skate started with everybody in that position, I recreated it with my cute, tiny newcomer leader from the Winner JnJ, and it became one of the charade in the Westie Challenge (a kind of Squid Games meet dance battle epic game). I had one last workshop on Sunday morning and I think, as people got to know me through the weekend, they liked what they saw and I got asked for so many privates… You have to remember, I haven’t travelled as much internationally as I used to before Covid (I am totally opened to if you want me at your event), and I am not so present on social media that people would know me from across the world. So I think when people in Korea see my name on workshops, they don’t really think about it, they come and try, see who this person is, hopefully have fun and learn something, but if they like it… there will be signs.

It is now time to go back home… after two and a half months and about

16 flights

28++ buses/subway rides

2 trains

14 Uber

11 car rides

10 boats

Infinite walking

Unfortunately, I got sick on the weekend. By the time I finished all my privates Sunday night I was exhausted and almost had no voice. Ended up with fever all of Sunday night and on my ten hours flight on Monday (which made me think they should offer free re-bookings on flights to not get people sick when you don’t have a couple thousands to do what is morally right). Now I have no voice at all and desperately trying to do all the right things so I can be in shape for the next event coming up this weekend: Swing in Bloom!

See you soon on the dancefloor!

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #dance #modernswing #westcoastswing #wcs #life #dancer

Travels and Dancing 30

This blog is not going to be as beautiful and pink skies as the others. I mean, you’ve read me before having flight troubles, being sick as a dog in public transportation, and a lot more misadventures, but I don’t think you’ve read me before saying: never again. What a shit show of a vacation. Worse travel I’ve done in my life and I have done a lot… actually 50 UN sovereign countries as of now, some multiple times! I wasn’t particularly trying to collect them all before, but it still makes for a nice album. Before this particular trip, I just had divided a plan to see all the countries in the world before I’m 65, after this leg? I’m fucking done. Loll I’m not saying I won’t do it, but I’m saying for the first time in my life I wish I was home… I wish I could go home and reset for a couple weeks before continuing the trip. Nothing against the Philippines by the way, but the whole thing was a fiasco from beginning to end.

After checking which type of online forms and visa I needed for the country two days before while in the Maldives, I took my overnight flight with a short layover in Singapore to arrive in Manila at 12pm. I had planned to visit a bit of the city that day after checking into my hotel that was 3km from the airport with a free shuttle, but immigration took so long… you know when you get to the luggage belt (yeah, they made me check-in my carry-on which I hate) another flight has come in and you have no idea where to get your bag? I finally get out of the airport to miss the free shuttle. Ok, no worries, I’ll wait for the next one while people are harassing me to taxi me somewhere. I figure out that the next shuttle is in an hour and a half. Ok, no worries, I’ll take a cab then, it can’t be that expensive for a 3km ride in the Philippines, right? This man brings me to his friend, who brings me to the other friend, puts my luggage in the trunk and I ask how much, how much? Not too much mam! How much? 2850 pesos. I enter the amount on my phone in my money converter because I haven’t even check what the currency is and what is the equivalence: 70$CAD????? What? No thank you, I’ll wait for the bus and start exiting the car. No mam, we do cheaper 2000, but fees for card. No. That is way more than I would even pay at home for transportation. Mam wait. No. Ok, 1250 pesos no fee for card. I’m so fucking done by that point and stuck there and I want to get to the hotel that I say yes. We can all laugh at me now great. I get to the hotel, wait in line for the check in, by the time I am in my room, it is 5pm. Fuck this, I do not want to be more frustrated or tired or angry to start the trip, things are slower here and it’s fine, it’s on me to adjust so I’ll just stay and enjoy the nice hotel I got for myself, have dinner, enjoy the rooftop pool with a drink and call it a night. Again, a me problem, but Filipino food is really good and appreciated (I think, from what I hear anyway) if you eat meat. I am vegetarian by choice and now gluten free after developing celiac last year. I spend an hour try to get a vegetarian gluten free meal from this hotel, now this is not a cheap hotel, this is the Grand Westside Manila, to end up getting tiny spring rolls without the tofu because somehow what I can’t eat got lost in translation. So a couple rice noodles and slices of carrots for dinner and wine. Let’s call it a night and start fresh in the morning!

I have to say that I booked an organized tour for this leg of the trip. I had only done one before, last summer in Morocco, and it was awesome (even if I got sick like a dog shitting myself on a 6 hour car ride, so that tells you how good the whole trip was and that I have some resilience). It was a small group so we could arrange our schedule as we wished, our tour guide was awesome, so I told myself that id I redid a tour, I would also do it only as part of a small group. TourRadar had matched me with five other people and finally put me in a Whatsapp with them so we could communicate. I realize I am matched with a family. Not strangers who are being put together for this trip, just me sixth wheeling this couple with the parents of the woman and the father of the man. I’m hoping not to intrude too much, spend time with them, but also let them be so they have time as a family. Honestly, thank god they were there because they ended up being the best part of my trip. The flight is uneventful (my new favorite word) and I end up meeting them as we exit the airport in Boracay. We get showed in a small van to a boat where we have to wade through the water to get on and pay people to put our luggage on or risk having everything wet. Cool. Different. Interesting. I get to the hotel, it takes an hour to check-in, by that time, it’s been six hours of travel on this day which was meant to be, or so I thougth, an easy one hour flight and enjoy the rest of the day at the beach. Oh well, no worries, I walked on the beach that evening by myself, went into shops, talked with locals, and found a nice restaurant with awesome live music. Not a bad day after all!

The hotel is ok… really noisy at all time of the night, so I don’t feel rested in the morning, but it’s just a vacation so that shouldn’t bother me so much. I meet some of the family at the breakfast buffet where I can eat rice, eggs and fruits; that will do to start the day. We get to the beach for our first excursion: island hoping! Yes! We wait. We get showed on a boat with 50 other people. Squeeze, sit closer, tighter. We wait some more. And we depart. The boat ride is smooth, the weather is nice. We get to the first beach. Ok, sir, mam, you can swim here. It is a tiny strip of beach with so many boats anchored you’re not sure where you’re supposed to get in. We find a spot to go in, but more boats come in and are honking us to get out of the way. Ok we’ll just go walk on the beach, we have 30 minutes after all. I walk until an abandoned hotel, and start coming back because I am always cautious of time and wanting to be respectful of other people. At the same time, we’ve been made to wait so many times, that I am not going to come back to the boat early. With five minutes to spare, I get close to the boat, everybody is on, the guy is screaming at me to come back, the family brought my stuff back thankfully. We laughed it off, whatever.

Then we get to the second spot: you can stay on the boat or pay 100 pesos to swim. Mmm… ok, 100 pesos is not much, but I thought we paid for that tour already and I certainly am not going to stay on the boat and do nothing. They give us mask, but no snorkel. I see someone else with a snorkel, please can I get one also. Ok, we swim with tiny fish and a dead reef under, nothing compare to what I saw in the Maldives, but it’s fun just to be out there and experience a bit of snorkeling again. Ok, everybody get back on the boat, we will go to Crystal Cove, but first we stop for lunch. This is where we started to get a bit delirious. At that point, we’ve been gone for 4-5 hours, we have swam the equivalent of 30 minutes, waited and not seen much. We land on this island beside Crystal Cove for a buffet in a restaurant that was… the best way to describe it is that one of the people in our group called it Crystal Meth Island and yes. They have a vegetarian plate for me which consists of boiled carrots and cabbage. Ok. Also worth mentioning, my stomach isn’t feeling great and the toilet don’t have a seat or toilet paper or bidet or water to wash your hands. I feel disgusting. But again, a me problem, nothing I can’t handle, I’ve roughed it before. We finish the meal and navigate to Crystal Cove. Sir, mam, you have to pay 300 pesos if you want to go in the island. Fuck that. We decide to all sit and have a drink on the tiny beach. We start joking about helmet diving, which is supposed to be the next stop, and how they are going to have a tube to feed us air while we’re under there and whisper in it: Mam, sir, 300 pesos for CO2. You want to breathe or no? Really good laughter, I’m happy I am with them, we all know it wasn’t a really good day, but being along would just have been sad, when now we can share the memories together. They bring us back to the beach and we ask: Is there no helmet diving? Yes, but you have to go on another boat now. We rush to a bathroom to come back as quick as possible and… wait. By now it’s what? 3pm? We’ve been gone since 8m? Not sure of the time, but something like that. We look at each other, two of them already said fuck that and left, and decide not to go. Wait sir mam, the boat is coming! Ok, but are we just us on the boat or it’s 50 other people and we have to wait more. Just you! Ok. Wait more. Decide not to go. Boat is there. Ok, let’s go. Four of us. I’m thinking, there is no gear on this boat, strange, where are the helmets? I see we are driving towards a platform with lots of people on it. Oh no. We get there and ask: how long to wait? 30m. In Filipino time that means 1h. We ask the boat to bring us back to shore, we’re done. We laughed the day off that night, one bad excursion, it can’t get worse right? Never say that.

It is Valentine’s evening. I join the family for a nice dinner. Everything is going smoothly, until… Connor is feeling queasy. He decides to go back and I will everything I have so it would be just the heat of the day in the sun. An hour later, he write to Cheyanne and we figure out that he got the short straw on Crystal Meth Island: everything is coming out. Cheyanne goes take care of him and I end up staying with Jimi. I finally get my plate of vegetables, two hours after ordering. My new partner in crime convinces the restaurant owner to give us a glass of wine for free to compensate for the wait since it’s our honeymoon. Our asses are merry, after having had a couple. On our way back, we stumble upon an amazingggg singer! His voice would just soar through you and hit you deep in the chest. He manages to rope us into coming into the restaurant. We sit in the front and order more wine while witnessing greatness. Jimi makes a song request, the one from our wedding, Valerie by Amy Winehouse. We are so jolly, we make a video of drinking our wine with arms intertwined and send it in the Whatsapp group. Now this is the father of Connor and the two others with us are Cheyanne’s parents, Carrie and Jeremy. They woke up to this craziness. You’re welcome. Honestly, it was one of the best night of the trip… because it wasn’t part of the tour.

The next day is transportation day from Boracay to Cebu. For some reason, I am not on the same flight as them. I leave 30 minutes earlier than them to take a bus, to the ferry, to the bus, to the airport, to a bus, to the plane, to an hour cab ride to the hotel. By the time I get settled, it’s been seven hours of moving around. I had contacted the tiny Cebu wcs community before coming and the dates didn’t align to do anything, but Vitalie, who is the one building it here, was there to visit his fiancé. I decided to reach out to them and go for a city tour. Again, best part of the trip… not part of the tour. They came to pick me up on their scooter and we ordered a scooter driver for me through an app. I loooove riding on scooters, motorcycle. We get downtown and there is a gigantic mass at Basilica del Santo Nino. We walked in, the place is magnificent, but naturally we can’t take pictures or videos during the ceremony. We then check out Magellan’s Cross and walk to Fort San Pedro where tons of people are dancing in small groups, filming TT, having fun, playing… Then we wanted to go to Tops. That was a bit more complicated as the scooters don’t go all the way there. So we passed through Ayala (the biggest shopping mall) and then I ordered a cab to get all the way to the top of the mountain to this incredible view point. I thought it was going to be just a platform, but it was this incredible building/restaurant/platform/viewpoint construction. I definitely wish we would have had more time there, maybe arrive earlier, see the sunset, grab a glass of wine. Then it was time to leave… no taxis, crazy traffic, no scooters. No worries, there is a bus that goes closish to where I’m staying. Gigantic line. Like Gigantic. So gigantic that we thought it ended halfway to where it actually went. Two hours wait minimum to get a bus. I’m stuck there, I’m tired, we have a fucking excursion in the morning that our tour guide just informed us starts at 4am. Vitalie asks us to come in the arcades with him. Ok. Actually going there saved me from being on a scooter in the downpour. Always say yes. But yeah, by the time we were done at the arcade, I was like: I’ll find anybody with a scooter that’s willing to bring me down and I’ll pay them whatever. We found someone. 250 pesos. Sold. I looooved the ride! All the way down the mountain side to the city, wind in my hair (well, helmet, but same thing).

When I finally get to the hotel, I see Jeremy and Carrie with their luggage right in front. Oh, oh. What’s going on? They tell me they had cockroaches crawling on them in the bedroom, that they are getting another hotel for the night and they are done with this fucking tour. Oh boy… I mean, I didn’t mention that when I checked in, it looked more like a prison cell than a hotel room. I didn’t even know where to open my luggage. We checked online: 6$/night for this hotel. Listen, it’s not that I can’t “rough it up”, I have before. They can also. It’s just that we paid a tour that costed a certain amount of money and didn’t get any worth for it. Our tour guide’s answer was: We normally don’t book this hotel for guest, but when we have in the past, we haven’t had any problems. Also, it’s because when we tried and book, last minute everything else was booked in the city so we didn’t have a choice but to put you there. Bullshit. Carrie and Jeremy got a room for two nights after looking for two minutes. So the entire trip was excuses, poor value for the money we spent, lies and deceptions. Look, if you tell me that the tour is a six person tour, that there is a two hour ride to X place, that we’ll be staying in 4 stars hotels; that’s what I’m expecting! But when we are showed with 50 other people or more every step of the way, that the ride to the excursion in four hours, and that there are cockroaches in the prison cell I’m sleeping in… that’s not the same thing. And definitely not worth the same amount of money.

So after that, to save me from anger and because it’s my own damn vacation, I can do whatever I want, I decided not to go to the excursion the next day. We told our tour operator we weren’t going. Knock knock knock at my hotel door. No! Is it like 7am and they want to come in and clean? I’m so tired. I thought I had put the Do not disturb sign on my door. Knock knock knock. NO THANK YOU. Mam, you have an excursions. I look at my phone, it’s 3h50am. WTF? NO I AM NOT GOING THANK YOU. Again, how did the message not get from our tour guide to these people?? Now, the excursion sounded really cool, two hours’ drive to go swim with whale sharks and then canyoneering for an hour, and the two hour drive home. I had done some research that night: everything I could find online said it was a four hour drive. Hell no. Jimi went. Here is how it went for him. They drove four hours, got to the whale sharks and got a number: 438. They were at 100 something. He was told to wait in a tent. He waited for three hours, they were still at about 250 something. Because he was alone, they managed to squeeze him in with a group at that time… otherwise it would have been another three hours. He got in the water, they gave him a mask. No snorkel tube. They said they don’t give them any more since Covid. He got to swim for twenty minutes. Out. He’s been gone since 4am, by that time it’s noon and he knows he has another four hours’ drive back. He asked them not to go canyoneering and came back. I would have been so pissed. So pissed. So I am really happy that we decided, with the others, to go to a private resort for the day: 16$. We took a cab to the strays hotel and had a freaking delicious latte, then another cab to the resort, beach, pool, fresh mango juice, French fries, relaxation… after three hours there, I realized it was the first time I felt relaxed since arriving in the Philippines. Best day of the trip. Again, not part of what I had already paid for. The others left early, I wanted to enjoy every last second of that day so I left later and did some work until midnight.

The next day was already travel day. Cebu to Puerto Princesa. We debated booking our own hotel, but decided we would check the one they got us out and see what we wanted to do after. Our flight was delayed, but we were all in a positive mood, everybody had a good feeling about that island, and we were all excited about visiting the underground river tour Unesco site. The hotel was ok, we had some food there and an early night. Next day’s pick up was between 6:30 to 7am, but make sure you are there early. I wake up at 5h45am, get to the breakfast buffet, try not to eat or drink too much cause I know there won’t be any bathrooms in sight for the next however many hours. We wait. Six thirty. Seven. Seven thirty. Message from our tour guide: As per 5am today, the coast guard station has deemed the weather unsafe for the excursion. Tour is cancelled. Ok. Why are we only getting to know this now? Are we getting our money back? WTF are we supposed to do for the day at our hotel not by the beach, with a shit pool? Let’s keep the positive energy of the day, let’s book a city tour. So we all get in a van together. First stop, butterfly garden. It’s a box with butterflies and an enclosed village where the indigenous people look to be sequestered and have to perform for us. Ok. By this point I’m delirious and cry-laughing non-stop. We then go to Baker’s hill where the tour guide tells us we can get a box. So many jokes were made. Then we are dropped at a tourist market for pearls where there is nothing else to do than by pearls. Finally, we see Plaza cuartel and the church which were the two most interesting parts. Oh well, not a success, but we spent half the day. By the time we got back to the hotel, I was done. I decided to get work done that I was going to spread out a bit more through time. I had worked the night before, worked that day for nine hours, worked the next morning for five more; that was the best use I could think of my time there.

The last day was travel day from PP to Manila. Jimi offered to stay with him at the hotel they had booked which is directly connected to the airport and I accepted gratefully: I couldn’t stand the idea to find transportation to my hotel to then come back in the morning for my flight out. I was so done. Connor and Cheyanne left and the rest of us had a lovely night eating and drinking on the rooftop of the Belmont. Of this entire shit show, the best part was meeting this awesome, smart, kind, energetic, and easy-going family. Much love!

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #dancer #modernswing #westcoastswing #wcs #dance #life

Travels and Dancing 29

So… I thought I was going to make one blog post with my two and a half months of travels, but I already have so much to say that I decided to start writing.

I left you last time at the beginning of 2026. Yes, it feels far away already, like many lifes contained in one. Good thing I like movement in all its forms and change. The first month of the year was a marathon for me to be able to leave for my travels. Everybody told me at the beginning of the year: you can’t open a studio and leave for two and a half months six months later! Oh yeah? Watch me. Well, as everything, it is possible, but it comes at a price. This is what I wish everybody understood: you can do anything you want in life, it is yours to choose, but everything has a price. The price for me was 16 hours days for months, seven days a week. Until January, I managed, but that last month before leaving? Oh boy! Even with that amount of hours it wasn’t covering what I had to do. The good thing about it, is that I have a really hard time delegating. Finding what I can delegate to start with. But, I didn’t have a choice to start separating my tasks in smaller chunks and finding which one I could give to other people. Then I also had to train those people in what I needed to be done. Let’s just say that it was an intense month. Add medical exams and appointments to do before leaving, preparing my apartment and my car for a sublet, trying (and mostly failing) to see people before leaving…

Would I recommend it? Mmm… depends how much you want it. I’m happy I did it because I needed to leave this year. I needed to leave because it is my fortieth birthday, I have freedom which is really important to me, and I think you should enjoy what you have in life with the choices you’ve made and what hand life dealt you. For me, the family card didn’t pan out and since the last two years had been geared towards that, I hadn’t left in the winter as I had promised myself I would do every year if I came back to Canada… so this year had to be big. Did it have to be so much? No. I think I got carried away with options and opportunities and as soon as I booked it, I regretted some parts of it. I wasn’t as excited as I always have been to leave and I kept thinking and telling people it was because I was so busy, I didn’t have time to get excited yet. Tomorrow, tomorrow, the day after. But it never came the same way as it use to. The first truth of it I know is because so many dance opportunities that had been sliding between my fingers for the last few years, started to resurface and I could see that I was going away from them. I told myself it would be a good time to reflect instead of throwing myself into it head first like I usually do. And has been… but I think there were other underlying reasons. I didn’t feel the Philippines leg and I was unfortunately right (I’ll explain soon), and also… I am starting to like the life I am building for myself in Montreal. I told myself last summer that I would put everything I’ve got into building a life there: what I need and want on a daily basis, weekly, monthly, yearly; find an apartment I like and actually invest in it, decorate, buy things, have people over, make it a home; open a studio and invest in the local community; find where I want to train and what motivates me as training (yoga, pole, aerial, dance); spend time with friends and family and invest in my relationships; leaving for at least one month in the winter because I know I always get depressed by February… and I told myself that it didn’t matter that I didn’t know how it was going to work out (especially financially), that I was going to make it happen. After all that, if I still didn’t like it, I would leave for good. It was my last try for Montreal. Do I want to leave now? No. Do I have this deep feeling now that wherever I went and put that much energy into making it a home, it would become it? Yes. So while I was sitting on a paradisiac beach in the Maldives, looking across the ocean, I thought: I miss home.

Which brings me to my last gig before leaving: Ottawa. This community is one of the most... homey I know. It feels… accepting. It feels… welcoming. And so, for the first time in my career, I didn’t social dance while being hired as a pro teacher. I’ll explain more so you can understand the thought process. No matter what anybody says; that you are not obligated to social dance, that you are paid to teach and not to dance, that you should be allowed to do what you will with your own body in your free time: people expect you to dance. I expect myself to dance. Most of the time I want to dance. Sometimes I am exhausted and would love to just be social and talk, but I feel that if people see me out and about, they will ask me to dance and I will feel obligated to say yes. Either way, I normally to try to get a minimum of social dancing in anywhere I go. That dance weekend was the first since New Year, and if you’ve read my last post, you know what happened then (feel free to go read it now if you haven’t, but trigger warning). I didn’t realize that I didn’t want to dance with men still. What I needed was the reassuring presence of strong, smart, beautiful, kind, amazing women around me and I got it. I ended up sitting on the coach all night and having different women come sit beside me and talk for minutes or hour at a time. Women I’ve known for a long time, friends, new faces; it was so needed. I did see and feel the men around trying to come in, but also sensing the vibe and nobody cut in, except one person in the most respectful and nice way possible, and it was soooo appreciated. For me to be able to do that and follow my instincts and what I needed, even if I did feel guilty about it and like I should explain myself, took a community and place of acceptance. So I want to thank the Ottawa community for giving me that when I needed it. Much love to you all. I’m also really grateful with the time I had with my two beautiful friends Maria and Clare enjoying my favorite food – Spanish tapas – and going to see an all women comedy show. Final bonus, I got to visit my aunt and uncle in their home for the first time. They have been there for twenty-five years… let’s just say it was overdue!

I packed the day before my flight, a carry-on for two and a half months, hoping I had everything I needed. I finished the last preparation and my good friend Dominic came to my place to have lunch with me. I think that made it even harder to leave: to have someone who cares that much, who I admire, who has a really busy life and takes the time to come and see me before I leave. Also realizing I hadn’t been the best of friend in the last few months. I tried to balance it all with the studio opening, but the two things that ended up falling by the wayside when it got too much, were the things for me: training and seeing family and friends. For some reason, I couldn’t check in online, the airport kiosk didn’t work, all the employees seemed pissed and annoyed, I kept being sent to a different place until they finally let me get in line for check-in. I decided to keep a good energy and let the people who want to have a bad day, have it. The lady at the counter was really nice to me, I explained that the online check-in didn’t work and that the kiosk told me that the agent had a message for me. She looked at me and said: Would you like to go directly to Rome and then to the Maldives, instead of Montreal-Belgium-Italy-Maldives? Yes. And that is how I got awarded another day in my life: instead of flights and layovers, a full day in Rome! I landed, got through border control, found a place to leave my luggage (paid way too much for it when I came back), figured out the train to downtown and started walking. First stop, a small coffee shop for an espresso at the counter. Second stop, a cozy restaurant for my favorite summer meal: caprese salad, French fries and wine. Third stop, Colosseum. Fourth stop, never mind, start running through the streets I have been walking on because I dropped my glasses (the vision ones) somewhere. Magically found them and could breathe again. Fifth stop, Trevi fountain. Sixth stop, local market. Seventh stop, gluten free pastry. Eight stop, train station back to the airport. I used all of my power to sleep on both overnight flights and surprisingly got to Velana airport two days later without being utterly exhausted. I found a few girls from the pole retreat I was going to, that had already landed, who told me to go check in for the boat ride to the hotel. They didn’t have my name. I managed to convince them to let me board and figure it out with the hotel later. Apparently, I arrived a day before the retreat… this is the least organized I have been for travels, and I have been unorganized before. I had to buy myself another hotel night on top of the retreat, but it was still worth it for one more day in paradise. After a delicious dinner at a nearby restaurant, it was finally time for a night of horizontal sleep.

The next day, finally settled and well on the island of Thulusdhoo, we decided to walk to Dream beach with a few of the girls who were already there, swim, enjoy the sun and take some pictures. This is when I realized that I was absolutely not up to date on my Instagram game and that I was about to learn a lot through the week. These girls are professional photographers and posers. I could literally see the difference in posing, angles, lighting as they went. I tried and mimic the best I can. It definitely worked: I have some of the best photos of my life from those ten days, when I look like a troll in most of the ones I tried to take myself in the Philippines a week later. We had a reunion that evening with all the amazing women who were there for the pole retreat and the leader gave us some goody bags after we introduced ourselves. What a strange dichotomy: doing a pole retreat in the Maldives, a Muslim country. I know most people don’t think of that when they think of that place, because all we see from it are overwater bungalows on private islands. Until 2018, it was the only way to travel there and see the beauty of it: have shit loads of money so you could not only buy your plane ticket to get there, but then spend minimum 500$USD a night on a resort but upward to 5000$USD a night. Let’s just say that even at the minimum, it was out of my budget. But a few years back, they opened a bunch of hotels and resorts on local islands, so you don’t need to drain your savings or put a new loan on your house to visit: you can stay at a decent hotel, have good food and go for excursions. You will then be with the locals, also have to follow local rules and not be able to drink alcohol unless you take a boat to a floating bar at sea or pay for an all-inclusive day pass on a private island. For me, what it meant, was also feeling stuck as a woman and realizing that I am putting money towards something that I do not support. I do not want to have to cover up, I want to have full bodily autonomy, I want to interact with the locals, I want to see women roaming around freely, laughing and enjoying themselves. So it made me rethink my big plan of visiting every country in the world… do I really want to go everywhere? How do I pick and choose? How do I know where it’s more open, where it’s safe? I’ll be in Indonesia soon, what’s the difference? I also think that if you live it, you have a better chance of understanding it… but I didn’t understand it there. I understood some of it in Morocco. I understood how good the womanhood felt together, unspoken in front of men, hidden in the shadow, but stronger for it. Here, I couldn’t feel it. It also makes me feel judgmental. All that to say, I have a lot of thinking to do.

I had the opportunity (yes, that’s how we’re going call it) to be stung by a jellyfish as soon as I got into the water on my first day. The more experiences, the more stories, right? I got put in the advanced group for the pole training and was a bit scared about it, especially after I saw the amazing looking, strong, muscular, flexible, intense women in my group, but I could hang! I do not know if it was intended that way, but the three teachers had such a different style that each student, no matter what our preferences were, could find their joy. Jasmine is a really soft spoken woman and her classes were mostly spin pole and geared towards cleaning and details. Lisa’s classes were axed towards strength shapes and moves and Jenya’s classes were energetic and more towards twisty combos. A really interesting mix for the week! We also had a low flow class with Lisa on the rooftop which was so dirty. I mean, yes, the choreography, but mostly the floor: we ended up covered in dust from head to toes after rolling in it for an hour and a half. One morning was for stretching on the beach, early enough to not be scorched by the sun, late enough to feel the heat. Some of the days we had two classes, others just one and a day off in the middle. Training wise, it was perfect. I always tend to want more, but allowing for relaxation time and some excursion, the balance of it truly felt like a vacation.

On one of the evening, we walked all the way to sunset beach to take some pictures and videos and just enjoy the view. Honorable mention, in this paragraph about extracurricular activities, for the meals: every meal took one to two hours to be served. To be fair, they were all delicious. But… damn, I’ve never spent so much time sitting and waiting for food in my life. Lunch orders were mostly staggered so I’d say on average one hour to get your food, but dinner? I tried to pre-order a couple of the nights, but it was a running gag: I was always the last or close to to be served. Now that I am gluten free and vegetarian (the latest by choice, the latter by sickness), it makes it real hard to eat in some countries. Let me tell you, I’ve never had so much vegetable fried rice in my life. No soy sauce (cause gluten, oh yes), extra egg and tofu (need some protein). I wasn’t sick of it by the end of the week, but my belly definitely needs more diversity then that. We had a bingo night when I got pooped on by a bird, so we used this event to test the theory of luck. It did work: I won a prize. But there were many prizes for the amount of people we were, so I’m not sure how conclusive our experimental study was. On another day, they had us participate in a crab race. They draw this big circle inside of another one, give us all a little crab they’ve gathered on the beach, bring them to the center, and the first one to cross the smaller circle’s circumference wins.

It didn't beat traditional Maldivian night! They had craftwomen there all day showcasing their art, a huge buffet at night, and songs and dances for hours which we were invited to watch and then participate in. All men. Serving, playing, dancing. But there was an opening… interesting. The next day, I walked in the water and told myself I as going to swim to the seawall, literally 5 meters away, but somewhat so scary to me. I had seen some girls do it the first day, had tried, but got scared with the current. I love water and it scares me a lot. Tide was low, I could literally walk, didn’t even have to swim across. I calm my breathing, slow down my heartbeat and try to rationalize myself: nothing can happen, we are safe. I get on the seawall, find the perfect roc and lounge there for a while. So proud. See, everything is ok, everything is safe… until I walk back. I step on something that starts moving, I react, take my foot off and see this fish not moving. I take a rock to nudge it a bit to see it better and be able to describe it to the activity guy on the beach if needs be. I get out of the water, it hurts, I tell the girls and they tell me I should tell someone. So I go to the guy, he asks me to describe the fish and goes: Ah, it sounds like a stone fish. If it’s a baby, it’s not that venomous. Ok, but how not venomous? How worried should I be? Oh shit, now it’s bleeding, it’s an open wound. He makes me sit down and takes care of my poor little foot and instructs me to keep it clean… which is the easiest thing to do when you live on an island of sand for a week. Anyway, all that to say, I was fine, except for a wound that stayed open for seven days (Ocean 2, Sonya 0), but I took advantage of the situation to start a discussion with beach man. The opening I felt at Maldivian night. Like all places, there were indigenous people before anybody else with a whole culture and customs. Turns out that the culture was really matriarchal, lunar even. Who would have thought? Nakaiy Nevi is the season calendar. Iruvaa and Hulhangu being the two periods of the year, having 9 and 18 sub-divisions lasting about two weeks each, related to the moon. It tells you what the weather generally is, if the fishing is good, the meaning of it… it’s fascinating. He explained the basics on how to read the weather that is ever so fast changing on an island, told me more about growing up there, his pa… it is one of my best memory of my trip. Interesting how any experience can be associated to any meaning, nothing is inherently good or bad, it’s what you affix to it.

I took advantage of the foot needing to be clean excuse to lounge at the rooftop infinity pool and read more. I have been reading so much. As I write this text, I have been gone exactly three weeks and I have read five books. Like, six-seven (ahahah) hundred pages books! Yeah for a kindle when you have to pack lightly, but you are an avid reader and your brain is finally relaxed enough for you to do so. One day, we walked further down the beach, to catch a boogie, to catch a ferry to go snorkel with turtles and walk on sandbanks. The sandbanks are one of the incredible features you see from people’s IG when they visit: just strips of white sand in the middle of the clearest turquoise water you have ever seen. It was absolutely stunning, and again a marathon of pictures and videos with the crew. I had been snorkeling once in my life before that and with some of my poor/traumatic experiences in open water, I was pretty stress. They handed us our snorkel and even as I put the mask on, I could feel the panick rising. I sat down in the boat and willed myself to breathe slower. Nothing can happen, we are safe (not sure how that worked after the other day, but oh well!). I put the mouth piece on in the boat and breathed. Ok, I think I can do it. I jumped in the water and thought I was going to freak out if I got away from people, but it was the opposite: there were too many people who weren’t comfortable, too close to me, hitting or grabbing me and I went: Fuck no. So I elbowed my way out of the crowd and started swimming. Wow. Once you find the calmness, you get it. You get what the hype is all about. So I swam along the reef, a combination of some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever seen. I didn’t feel like I was in the middle of nowhere because the reef was always there to give me a marker. Then we saw it. The turtle. Beautiful creature. It swam right under me and everything in the world was right. What an experience. I was so happy to finally have a great experience in the water to offset the bad ones, that when the next day came and we had a shark excursion and something in my guts told me not to go, I cancelled. Now if you know me, this is not like me: if it scares me, if I committed, if it’s paid for, I go. But no. I had a bad feeling and I wanted to keep the good experience in my heart. My friends went. Horrible experience: stormy sea, crazy waves, people vomiting left and right, some saw one shark, some nothing, some swore not to go back on the ocean for a long while after that. I was so happy I didn’t go!

We then had a karaoke night to sing all our worries away and oh, we did! I even dared sing a French song with the one French girl who was there: somehow it felt less intimidating to sing in a language nobody understood. One of the last activity was a sunset cruise to, hopefully, see dolphins. It had gotten pushed back because of weather and when the day came, it felt right. We went out on the boat to the middle of nowhere and chased them. I went forward to the bow and sat out for a better view. Some of the girls join me and we witnessed one of the best sunset since we had gotten on the island and dolphins jumping around and playing in waves. This is what feeling blessed is. For our last day together, the organizer had a few surprises for us. The day started with a pole photoshoot on the beach. Now, it all sounds like fun and games until it’s your turn, you have 5m to create some amazing shapes, you don’t have a mirror to know if any of it makes sense, the sun is making you sweat, you have no sunscreen on in an attempt not to slide, but your sliding anyway because you’re so warm, you have sand everywhere, you can’t stop scrunching your brows, and you ultimately don’t feel sexy at all, while hoping the pictures look like the opposite of that. Honestly, it was a blast… and exhausting. One of the teachers had brought a mermaid tail and I made the best out of it before we left to cool down. For our last night, we had a tropical themed party organized for us on the rooftop with mocktails, snacks, a DJ, some games, more pictures and videos, dancing, limbo, and where they ultimately took the drone out because our crazy asses (me being the most pushy of them all) decided it’d be fun to all jump together in the pool with our nice dresses. So we made our best attempt at an improbable and improvised aquatic ballet. What a life! We started saying our goodbyes that night; some people were leaving early in the morning, I was one of the lucky one to have a late flight so I enjoyed one more day of lounging in the sun with my leftover friends until we got the bus, to get to the boat, to get to the plane. Another overnight flight and I was in the Philippines.

To be continued…

#travelsanddancing #dance teacher #dancer #westcoastswing #modernswing #life #wcs #dance

Travels and dancing 28

Last blog I had been mostly at home, moving in, building a studio. This one? Full blown travel schedule, just like I like it. Although my body is exhausted. I started the month of November with Tampa Bay Classic. I hadn’t been in Florida for a while and it was such a blast to see everybody. Everybody I use to live close to and see at all the events in the area. I arrived just in time to get to the hotel, change and get on the floor to do a strictly with PJ. We did make finals and had a fun dance and… I injured my back. How come? Well, yes, sitting on a plane for hours, rushing to put clothes and make up is apparently not a good warm up enough. Anyway, we had fun and it was a pretty chill weekend contract wise for me so I had time to catch up with friends, eaves drop on workshops and take a private lesson with Robert Royston. I have been really inclined to learn lately. More than I had been in the previous years, where the focus was on building a new business and surviving. It feels good to see what is offered and make sure my teaching is still relevant to 2026 WCS.

The weekend after was Midnight Madness, again a pretty light contract that allowed me to reconnect with people and learn. On the fun side of things, I was asked to referee judge for the first time. I thought I was going to hate it, just counting, not really enjoying the routines, but it was more fun than expected. Not saying it will be my favorite job to do in the community, but I’ll definitely be available for it if needs be. On the less fun side of things… before Covid, I had the opportunity to be in a Champion JnJ maybe once every two years, because they didn’t exist in Europe (where I was mostly hired) and when I was in the States, I was hired at small events that were offering an Invitational JnJ. If you look at my points, I have about 7 Champion points, which with the new rules, is not enough to be considered fully Champion, so regression to All-Star/Champion level. Useless to say that during Covid, I didn’t have the opportunity to compete (like the rest of the community) and, since then, I’ve been hired at a lot of workshop weekends. I love doing those because I love teaching, and, to be honest, they are better financially. Then I’ve been hired at all Canadian events, which do not have Champion JnJ. So I might have had 3 occasions to be in a JnJ since then? One I didn’t make finals, the third I placed, the second is Midnight Madness and… first song of prelims: my partner drops me on my head and him on top of me. The sound it made was so loud that they stopped the competition for the head judge to come talk to me and see if I wanted to continue. Sure, yes. Adrenaline and I don’t want to miss my one opportunity. Somehow I made finals. But I was so unsure and unsafe. Thank god I got PJ whom I trust and love dancing with so I could feel a bit safer, but yeah, let’s say it was a smooth dance, but not an extraordinary dance.

After that, I had a contract to teach in Waterloo. If you don’t know Mikaela: she is a queen of business and community building. She is so good at it that she decided to quit her PhD in friction of re-entry of spaceship (obviously I’m messing it up and it’s way more interesting than that), but she was literally a rocket scientist, but she was so good at the dance thing that she let it all go and went into dance full time. I have built communities, I have seen people build some more, I have helped the process, but I don’t know what this woman does, I swear she’s a genius at it. Anyway, if you need tips, definitely contact her. I say all that because after starting the community from zero three years ago, she now opened a studio and somehow manages to bring pros in four times a year! She is also starting her own event in February of this year. My time there was so smooth: great workshops, spotlight critiques, private lessons, well fed, awesome dancing, perfect conversation and turning water into wine (that’s an in person conversation if you want the full story).

Now, The Open. Wow. There are so many things to say and I am sure I will miss half of them. I woke up at 2:30am to get to the airport and take the shitty flight I had booked for myself (good job, Sonya). I knew it was going to be tight to get to my judging assignment, so on my last layover, the long 20m one, I went to the airport bathroom, stripped down, did my make up, shifted a few things in my luggage so I could land, walk across the street and go judge. As life will have it, we boarded the plane and… got deplaned. They always say: it will only be 30m, but this ain’t my first rodeo. So I called the head judge and said I was pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to make it. I got there way too late, still ran across to see if they needed me, but they had already replaced me. The show most go on. So now I felt bad for missing basically my entire judging assignment for the weekend, my first time being hired at The Open. I checked in, went into my room and got down for the evening competitions. I kept having a feeling that I needed to dress up, but I was telling myself there was no reason to dress up. Halfway through the evening, the chief judge called me.

“Where are you?”

“I’m in the ballroom…”

“Go change now. We need you to judge, one of the judge just got sick.”

I ran like a maniac to my room, changed and came back to judge the biggest division: 28 couples on the floor. Wow! What an opportunity. To be there, to witness greatness, to be part of who decides what shapes the face of West Coast Swing for the year, to feel part of something bigger than me, and to finally fulfill my judge’s duty. I thought it was going to be harder than it actually was. I enjoyed it a lot. I got to be part of the Opening ceremony as staff and as a representative of Canada (I know, they don’t have a Quebec flag yet…); I just walked in, back out and in again with the new group. Loll Then I danced Strictly with the amazing Philippe Amar who is not only a great dancer, but also an awesome human being. He is not living in Florida with Flor Diaz. Both of them are such gems and could be the next big thing in WCS.

I also had asked Alexis Garrish for a private at The Open when I had seen her at Midnight Madness. I have seen her grow up on the scene, but in the last couple years, she just has found herself. There is no other way for me to put it. I have such an admiration for the dancer she is, the way she is smart with her inputs in the dance, her smooth body movement, the swing still shown in every syncopation. Then, when I was referee judge at Midnight Madness, we had to do a review for one couple and she was one of the judges pulled in to do so. The way she went about analyzing the movement sold me. I trained for an hour with her and the superb Philippe and it was great. So many insights and especially her helping me be me through the dance. Thank you Alexis!

Then, the most amazing thing happened. I was talking to Mia Pastor at Midnight Madness and she had mentioned she had been training with Alyenendrov Tsorokean. I said I wished I could train with him and she said to contact him.

“Ok, yes, but I don’t have a partner.”

“I’m pretty sure he’ll train with you anyways. I’ll put you guys in contact.”

We couldn’t figure out a time at MM, so he told me that he might be at The Open. He ended up coming and I booked a lesson. Ensued an hour and a half of the best time of my life. He asked me what was the goal at the beginning and I said: “It’s been so long without a partner, I just want to train. Throw everything and anything you want at me!” And he did! The only person I’ve ever trusted like this is Nelson. Now add years of training, an insane understanding of body mechanics and lift physics, and an hour later I was in the air on one of his hand being turned like a pancake in the wind. That’s with me never thinking I was any good at or for lift work. Let me tell you, I was on a high.

I danced every night until 5am, had great discussions with old and new friends, and really felt alive again. Thank you to John for trusting me and having me at the event… my first year without competing! People asked me if I missed doing routines. What I really miss is training and creating. The stress of putting a competitive routine on the floor? Way less. But being in a partnership that creates new vocabulary and is part of developing the scene and what it is becoming? Yes, I miss that.

I decided to stay in California between The Open and TAP (as one should). I had reached out to a few people I like to hang out with and everybody already had plans. I was in a good place of learning to trust the universe and letting go, so I decided to stop looking and that whatever had to happen, was going to happen. A few days before The Open, Cameo reaches out to me to know if I was interested in going to a cabin in the mountain with her, Jakub and Emeline. Yes. BC (before Covid), I use to travel a lot and be with my friends all the time. And when it all went down, and the years after, I wondered if I imagined it all, that I thought we were friends, but it was only in my head. As many things, I discovered that weekend that it is only because I disappear that I lose friends. We had an amazing few days in a cabin, talking, re-inventing WCS, discussing how to stay relevant, what is our motive in the dance, drinking wine, eating, soaking in the hot tub. I also found a chiropractor: I had messed up my neck while sleeping of all things (that’s when you know you’re not young anymore, not necessarily old, but not young). She stayed with me for two hours, running all types of test, talking about her dog, giving me to fridge calendar from her practice, asking me about dance… mountain town indeed!

After this resourcing time, I got to TAP. If you are passionate about WCS and you have never been, I highly suggest a combo of The Open and TAP once in your life. The Open to get your eyes saturated with greatness and witness the unfolding of the future of WCS; TAP to get the training in to get to the best level you can… and a lot of partying! I had the chance to catch Ben Morris and Benji Schwimmer for private lessons. It is so interesting to see how every teacher’s approach is different. I now have a long list of things to apply and practice and I am doing my best, but I do miss having a partner at my level. People think we dance together all the time at our level, but it is far from the truth. If you have a partner, you dance and practice with them a lot. If you are a sole travelling teacher, mostly doing workshop weekends you dance with attendees and at events also. That is why I like pole so much: it’s the only “partner” dance I can do with an available and consistent partner… I would say even above my level: the pole never makes a mistake! I sat in in a few classes also, social danced until 5am every night again and was a complete wreck to catch my flight on Sunday morning. Again, I had booked a terrible flight with a 7h layover in Vancouver, but I thought: let’s make it a great thing! So I contacted a friend who came to pick me up, asked me what I wanted to do, brought me to walk and get some fresh air, then drove me to an awesome dinner place, and back to the airport. It was definitely a plus on the journey. I got back home exhausted, but happy.

One week home to get my shit in order, before leaving again. I cleaned my apartment, did lots of laundry, and saw friends. On the Friday, I drove to one of my best friend’s place. He said it’s Christmas in my family and you’re invited. Ok. Now, you’ve got to understand that Christmas means different things to different people. To me, it mostly means to get away, find an adoptive family, and enjoy. It’s not really an experience of love and joy and warmth and gift giving with my family. They had 20 Christmas trees in the house, trains, decorations, mountains of food, they fed me that night, and they invited me to lunch the next day. Then my friends said it was gifts time. I thought for the family. No, for me also. I don’t think I’ve ever received so many gifts in my life. I had also been really sad while putting my Christmas decoration when I took my stocking out. A stocking is something you buy when you’re in a relationship: you’re not going to stuff it yourself. Anyway, they had a stocking for me also. I was so positively overwhelmed, I wanted to cry. I had to get up early the next day to get to a brunch, and they all got up to say goodbye, make me coffee, and send me off with leftovers. Wow.

I got to Carignan for brunch with the girls in the morning. We call us The OG of WCS, because we were dancing when there was approximately 12 people dancing in Montreal, so us and some guys. My friend just got done building this gigantic house and is always happy to welcome us. We try to meet together twice a year and do a tour of the table to hear everybody’s story and evolution from the last months. I had to leave a bit early to get to the studio to do the first teacher training of the Studio Sonya Dance. I am leaving for two and a half months in the winter and the studio has to run, so a lot has to be done in that direction (more on that in the next blog post), but long story short: I have an amazing group of new teachers and I am so excited to be working with them, and for them to work with my students!

Then I was leaving for Costa Rica. Real vacations… with online work every day, but still! The day prior to leaving, I did 12h of work. At the airport and in the plane, 8h, just so I could feel a bit freer when I got there. Costa Rica had been on my list for many years, but I didn’t have specific plans to go there. A few months back, I was hired to teach in Vancouver. It is really rare and long for me to feel like I have met a friend, but when we went to his cabin on an island and talked for eight hours straight, I realized I might have made a new friend. We had so many “tabs” open that I casually said: I think we need a two weeks’ vacation to talk it through. A few weeks later, he wrote me that he wanted to leave for Christmas and go to Costa Rica and asked if I was interested. I mean… it was on my list, I was not going to be missing any work, I could buy the flight with points… yes! We met in Liberia the first day, checked into an awesome Airbnb (the best of the trip) and ended up talking all night with wine and snacks. The next day, we drove to La Fortuna to the Airbnb with the best view on the rain forest. La Fortuna was beautiful with the waterfall, the swimming, the volcano, the hikes and the hot springs! After a few days, it was time to drive to the coast, and honestly, I was ready to feel the sun on my skin. We took our time to get to Tamarindo in a clean Airbnb and it started to feel like vacations! We went to the beach every day, watch the sunset, walked around, visited the town’s shops, met a young Quebecer girl with a bagel shop, did a wine tasting, went to eat the best Spanish tapas I have ever had (and I am difficult, it is my favorite food on earth) in a dive bar bought by millionaires who brought us there, I had my nails done, we release turtles to the sea, we swam, we ate watermelon bought form a truck we hailed down by waving cash out of the window, we chilled at the pool, we had co-working sessions, we watched Ted Lasso, and so much more. I am happy I said yes. Yes to life, yes to a new, friend, yes to opportunities! Thank you Chris!

And we are down to the last event of the year. I’m not gonna lie, this one is a bit intense. Trigger warning, feel free to stop reading here.

I drove down on the 31st and my GPS decided to stop working halfway there (you still have time to stop reading, this isn’t the triggering story). And when I mean stop working is: I have roaming, but Google maps, Maps, Waze, nothing knows where I’m at and keeps sending me to a city I am not in or to an exit I’ve passed an hour ago. Now, you have to understand that I am the type of person who puts the GPS to go to the grocery I’ve been at two hundred times that is besides my place (barely exaggerating); so Boston without a GPS wasn’t on my Bingo card for 2025. Somehow I made it. Through a toll road, I wasn’t supposed to be on, trying to get the guy at the booth to tell me where I actually am on the map to try and find my way. It was -10 degrees Celsius and I was so stressed, I was sweating in my car. I finally made it to the hotel. What a weird hotel. I mean, the ballroom space is really perfect for an event, but the hotel itself is actually an old motel and they put a roof on top of the whole thing (even the pool) and called it a hotel. My room had no heating. I called maintenance to make sure it wasn’t a stupid user error, but it wasn’t. The guy told me the only thing he could do, and he’s not even supposed to, is bring a heater in. Yes please, and extra blankets! So I slept with the fear of burning the entire hotel down every night with that thing out of a seventies horror movie.

I dressed up to feel my best for the red carpet. I met up with friends, we took pictures, I had a drink, the buffet had gluten-free options, it was perfect. I then went to change into a nice outfit to do a demo with Arjay for the dinner show. After that was done, I went to a room party with friends and changed back to my nice outfit to ring in the New Year in style. I went back to some room party, changed again, drank, came back down to the ballroom and ended up somewhere in the hotel with a friend I’ve had for fourteen years. Someone that had welcomed me in the community. The talk got a bit sexual which was not completely out of character for that person, but then it took more and more of a tangent, which I think I should have seen the rest coming, but… this person started touching me without my consent. I managed to take their hands off me, said something, but then was kind of frozen and stayed there. I ended up leaving and going to bed. But I was feeling so rattled, I couldn’t sleep and needed to talk to someone, so I knocked on the door in front of my room (I knew it was a woman I know from a city near Montreal). We talked for a bit and I went to bed. The next morning, I was not feeling good at all, and I went and talk with a good friend of mine. She told me what I knew, but was not managing to do for myself: I should talk to the event director to make sure some actions are taken and it doesn’t happen to other people. And I thought: I don’t know if I can do it for myself, but I can do it for other people. I can do it for my friend who brings her beautiful 16 years old daughter at the event, I can do it for the women who are scared they are going to have repercussion because they are less in s situation of power. So I wrote to Kristen, the even director, and told her I needed to talk right now in private. She didn’t question me once, she listened and said she was going to take action. She banned that person from the event and told me that if I needed anything, to leave, to do less assignment, that everything was ok. Then I saw that person’s wife, who is a good friend of mine, and before I lost all courage, I went to her, brought her in front of her husband and said what happens. He didn’t deny. She was obviously shocked, but her reaction towards me told me everything I needed to know: we are friends.

I called Stephen after that, because he knows me so well, and he asked me what I wanted to do. I said I want to leave, get the fuck out of here. He said: leave. I said: but there were so many things I was excited about this weekend. Teaching a tricks and lifts workshop with Alyenendrov was on top of the list, teaching my workshops, dancing with my peers in a Champ JnJ… and I also didn’t want what happened to take that away from me. So he said: maybe that is your answer. Stay and feel like shit. He knows me, he knows that I always try to put a face in public or I go hide my pain in a dark room. Ouf… ok. So I went out and saw a friend, they took me off the roaster that night for assignment, I hung out with more friends, I cried for hours, and finally went to bed. I woke up with red and puffy eyes. I taught all day, didn’t stop to think, and then judged all evening. I didn’t social dance. I didn’t social dance all weekend. I couldn’t do anything else than try and manage myself. A man would hold my shoulder from behind and I’d be like: WTF! Then the next day, I felt sick, my body decided to reject everything that was put into it. I did more things for me, things that make me feel good, without caring how it looked like, or what I should be doing. I took a nap, then danced in the JnJ. And I had fun. I told myself there was no way I survived the weekend to not have fun. Awards came, apparently fun wins. Friends came to give me hugs, because apparently that is how you feel love: by letting people see you at your low. I cried, I laughed, I hung out with more people I love and I went to bed happy. Happy that I stood up for myself, happy to know I can use my voice, happy to know I stand in my power, happy to redeem myself to the 18 years old Sonya who didn’t speak up, happy to know I have people around me who love me and support me. And fucking exhausted. I’m exhausted. I got home yesterday and thought I was going to collapse, so I’m trying to give myself grace through everything I have to do this month, before leaving for the trip of a lifetime.

So, it’s been quite a year already. I hope yours is smoother or with as much evolution and strength you call in. Happy 2026!

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #dance #dancer #modernswing #westcoastswing #wcs #life #Youtube

💫 Bravery

I’ve been reflecting for a long time on how to measure progress in dance — in ways that go beyond competition results.

You could be State Champion of Alaska one weekend (perhaps because there were only two competitors, and the other one took a single WCS class), and then not make a Newcomer final the next weekend at a big event.

Your level hasn’t changed between the two events — not for better, not for worse. So what do you take away from that experience? Do you bring the results home and let them define you? Do you cling to your title and avoid competing again? Or is there perhaps a middle ground — a more balanced way to grow?

🌿 A gentle reminder

You do not have to compete in West Coast Swing. Competition is an optional activity connected to the dance you love.

It requires an investment of money, time, and emotional energy. If the results weigh so heavily that they make you lose joy in dancing, perhaps it’s time to pause and reflect.

You work hard during the week to afford your passions. Ask yourself:

“Did I start dancing to add more pressure, or to find release from it?”

If dancing was meant to bring lightness and joy, don’t let competition become a source of burden.

🌟 If you choose to compete

There are still many ways to approach it with meaning and growth.

Brené Brown once said:

“If it involves no risk, no uncertainty, and no exposure, there is no bravery.”

Competition asks for all three. It is exposure — standing before friends, judges, and strangers. It is uncertainty — you don’t know your partner, your song, or what the floor will feel like. And it is risk — emotional, personal, and social.

To compete is to be vulnerable, and vulnerability is an act of courage. So to every dancer who steps onto the floor — I commend you. Your bravery is seen.

🌸 Other ways to measure progress

• You competed for the first time. • You felt less stress than the last time you competed. • You represented yourself the best you could. • You handled an off-time partner with more ease. • You truly had fun — maybe for the first time. • You had even more fun than before. • You met someone new. • You made a friend in the lineup. • You received feedback from a judge that will help elevate your dance. • You got a video you’re proud to share with family and friends. • The photographer captured a photo you love — one that makes you smile every time you see it. • You felt proud of yourself.

All of these are forms of progress.

🕊 Final thought

For those who wish to continue competing but struggle when results become the only measure of worth — remember that your journey is broader, richer, and deeper than numbers or placements.

Your courage, your joy, and your growth — those are the real markers of success.

If you’d like, share in the comments what progress means to you in competition. Let’s celebrate every kind of bravery, together.

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #dance #dancer #modernswing #westcoastswing #wcs #life #competing

Travels and dancing 27 (home edition)

This blog is going to be softer on the travel side. Sometimes, it’s good to just remember how good life is in all its forms. Last time you read me, I just came back from a well-deserved, epic work/vacation trip. I landed in Montreal in my new apartment, filled with boxes and a mattress on the floor. The start of a new life. Again. I’ve had many of those so far. Which is good because when I was young, I was already desperate trying to figure out how I would live all of the lifes I wanted to live… well, I’ve done well so far. ;-)

It feels like my first apartment although I’ve lived in plenty. I think it’s because it came from me. It’s not someone I know or me being nice to a landlord or having to fight my way through something: the girl wanted to leave her lease (she had moved here after a breakup and was now moving in with the new boyfriend… how serendipitous), the dates were perfect, the location was great, the price was… what it is for Montreal in 2025; so three times more expensive than the apartment I had before moving in with my partner just over a year ago. But it’s mine. It’s mine to fill how I want, to inhabit, to live, to create. The last tenant left me her patio set, a barbecue, her couch and even clothing! I told her I came with nothing but my personal items and a mattress (overly optimistic Sonya gave away all her stuff as she does every time she jumps in a relationship) and that anything she did not want, she could leave and I would sort through it. So if you see me with pink clothes or something that is not my usual style: it was probably hers. Like this top:

I’ve already filled my space with so much joy, so much me. It feels like I’ve been living here for a couple years. I made myself a “mental health wall” with pictures of all the people I love, that make me feel good and great moments to remember. In the last year, I think once a day, there has been someone who reminds me of something I did that I completely had forgotten about… so apparently I need reminders. For the bad days, for when the light is dimmer, for when winter strikes. I put portraits in my room of things I do that make me happy (pole, aerial, dance, nature, art…). I did a housewarming party and people brought me beautiful plants (that are having a hard time right now with the change of season). I got beautiful dishes, mugs, candles and I just made the space absolutely to my liking. I am finally ready to have people over.

I also started a dance studio. I had already been teaching in Montreal for the last two years since I’d been back, last year I started a couple monthly dances and practices, but I wanted to help develop wcs even more in the city and have a single location for all my offers. I have been having a lot of demand to teach, but I cannot be everywhere at the same time, so having teachers work with me been amazing. It admittedly has been a really intense two and a half months, setting everything up, administration, accounting, marketing… but I feel like I’m getting my head above water. I’ll have to set up the winter semester soon which is going to be another big swing in and of itself. But all and all, things have been going well and I’m happy every time I see people inhabit all the offers I have created and put them to life!

Being home for a couple months means having time to go see art! Which is something I have been missing in my life. I drove an hour and a half with a friend to a city nearby to see a circus show homage to Daniel Bélanger, one of my favorite Quebecer singer. Outdoor shows are just the best for me: summer breeze, sun coming down, smell of fresh grass… if it was summer all year, I wouldn’t have any trouble staying in Montreal… I say that, but I’m sure I’d grow restless anyway at some point and want to roam around. One of my goal for this year is to make it a trial year for myself: I activate everything that’s in my power to feel so well in Montreal that I don’t want to leave. If it doesn’t work, I leave for good. So far, I got caught at my own game because I don’t want to leave: I like my space, I like studio work, I like my students and the community I’m building, I like my friends, I like the activities I put in my schedule every week… but it’s not winter yet. When I came back to Canada two years ago, my sine qua non condition was to leave minimum a month and up to three months every winter. And I didn’t do it. Well, the first year I had contracts which got me in and out and the winter was mild, so it was bearable, but last year, between the baby project that didn’t work as planned (to say the least) and the winter being horrendous (in my view, I’m sure some people enjoyed the snow), by February I was done. Like every year. So this year, I’m leaving. Even if I don’t want to yet, I know by the time February is there, I’ll be done with it. It being everything. Believe me, the blog after that trip is going to be the most epic of them all.

I met with my energy work friends up north for a weekend and we meditated, did energy work, poker tarot and more for three days. It felt rejuvenating and was highly needed. Then came Summer Hummer. I forget every time how much I miss it. Being out there. With everybody. With my peers. I used to do that every weekend for years. I forget, people forget, people don’t even know I used to do that. What a strange thing: to see people’s perception of you change with what they know. I used to be top of the class when I was going through the education system. Like top top. I had 96 to 98% average and won highest ranked in my province and in the country amongst multiple prizes. I was known for that, people would come to me for intellectual stuff. Then I got bored, it wasn’t stimulating enough so I decided to dance. I was not good, not coordinated. Anyway, fast forward to years later, a good friend of mine, who’s only known me since I have been a dancer comes to my place and sees a Mensa book. Automatically, he asks my roommate if it’s hers. It wasn’t. Seeing the surprise in his face when he realized it was mine is when I realized: people never really know you. The full depth of you. (That and the national competition they have every year in Germany and a group of dancers was struggling with a question, politely explained it to me to humour me when I asked and were utterly surprised when I solved it in 5m after they had tried for... a week? and asked other people.) Maybe people who’ve been with me all my life like my father or my sister, but what if I meet someone now? There is so much life behind: do you ever get to a place where someone knows the depth of you? Anyway, all that to say, I can see now in the new dancers eyes: they know me as the nice Sonya, the good instructor, good dancer… but not to the level it used to be when I travelled every weekend. Such an interesting experience, the human one. So Summer Hummer was great, even as I was disappointed to not make finals in Champion. Oh yes, it happens to all of us, no matter the level. There is not much else to say about that, I wanted to mention it so you know that we’re all humans no matter where we stand. ;-)

Phil, Flore and I organized the Chalet WCS again this year, a cozy getaway, not too far from the city, at minimum cost, so dancers from the local communities can get to know each other, spend time, talk, dance and learn. Every year fills my heart with joy (even if I was right smack in the middle of chaos with opening the studio this year and probably looked utterly exhausted). At the end of the weekend, we filled one car and drove further north with three friends to see another circus show I had found out about a week prior. They built a tower in the forest and hooked up circus apparatus inside of it. We saw these amazing artists perform their acts for the last time of the summer as the summer was setting.

I had a weekend in a beautiful region of Quebec visiting the family of a dear friend of mine. I had never met them in 12 years of friendship and after planning it for a year, we finally had dates that matched with my schedule which is opposite to most people. A friend of mine came to stay at my place and created a mural on the wall of my bedroom. I wanted to paint a wall. To say: I am staying. To have something special. She is a sculptor and when I asked her to create something for me, she tried to say no, but her being ended up saying yes and creating what is even better than what I had envisioned and something that fits perfectly with me.

I dog sat for my ex partner for ten days which was a challenge schedule wise with the studio, not living in my apartment and going back and forth to take care and be with the dog, and it was also amazing to have more time with this little beast I grew so attached to and most likely won’t see much of anymore… I gave two outdoors introduction classes for the end of the summer, to get people to know or at least witness WCS and try and get some people through the door. I saw a comedy show, I learned how to create my own solid perfume, I trained, I started to do pole and aerial again, I met with friends, I had wine with a book on a terrace, I lived, loved, laughed. Until I drove myself into the ground and got sick for a week. I’m not even sure what I had except for my body saying: STOP. You need a break and seven nights of twelve hours of sleep.

Montreal Westie Fest came around the corner, our best local event. I topped my record for private lessons in a weekend: 19. Sometimes people don’t understand where we’re at, what we do during the weekend of why we’re not dancing all night anymore: are they snob? Do they not like to dance anymore? I love to dance, but when I teach 19 hours of private (which is my choice, that is true, but I also need to pay my rent after all the expenses of the studio), 3 hours of workshop, judge 5 competitions, dance pro-am JnJ, the invitational, staff meeting, present awards, and I’m sure I’m forgetting many things… I did go dance on Saturday. And I was so happy to be there and danced with people that I kept going, and going, and at some point, after the hug of the end of the dance, I would almost fall over, until someone who had been sitting there for a while asked me if I was dizzy and if I was ok. I thought it was just an internal feeling. I looked drunk. I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol all weekend. So yes, most of us still love to dance, most of us would love to dance more, but it is also our profession and we have to be alert to teach, judge and perform to the best of our abilities all weekend. It was honestly easier for me when I did it every weekend, cause that was it. Now it’s this most weekends, plus work all week, plus manage a studio, plus… I love it. ;-)

Last weekend, by a twist of event, I ended up with my sister and her three daughters in a chalet up north and it was amazing. Not relaxing. Bur really nice and I hope, great memories for the girls. I have one weekend left at home before I start a long season of work and travels. November, December and January are work weekends away as well as managing the studio and teaching, and February to April are going to be epic months of travel. More to come…

#dance teacher #travelsanddancing #dance #dancer #modernswing #westcoastswing #wcs #life

Dance, fertility, and a woman’s body

I hesitated to share openly, but I have had conversations lately with other women and couples that have gone/are going through similar things and I realize that each time I open up, it frees someone else to speak. So in the name of sharing, welcoming each other’s stories, and embracing life as it might come, here’s an excerpt of mine.

It is strange to be back dancing and wanting to be seen on the scene after kind of disappearing for a while and having nothing to show for. I have good friends who decided to go the maternity and family route and I admire them a lot. I see how hard they work to keep everything as close to a balance that will never exist anymore. I see how hard they’ve worked on their bodies and minds to come back to a place where they kind of recognize themselves, while also knowing that they will never be the same person as before. That is beautiful and raw. When I/we look at them at events (pros or not), we see beautiful people trying to parent as best as they can while competing, dancing, judging, performing, socializing and… there is something to show for it. You see their kids growing up from babies to toddlers to kids to teenagers and I find it so beautiful sometimes it hurts.

I only have scars to show for it, and mostly I don’t show them because it’s hard as a woman to feel that your body is flawed, not capable of doing something so basic as creating, keeping and giving life. Something that you probably waited to long to do, or so your mind tells you. I’ve never wanted to have a kid just for the sake of it. I’ve always had the image of a family and when you are in relationships that are not working smoothly, it is not the time to add a child to it. So you make yourself be responsible and try and make yourself and your relationship the best possible before bringing a child into this world (premise of Idiocracy the movie I know…) and by the time you meet someone who’s really amazing, it’s getting late. I NEVER. Emphasize NEVER. Thought I’d be a woman with a ticking clock. I use to find it so ridiculous somehow. Well, life will show you what you judge. You do tests, you’re told you have to go through fertility treatments. You are the woman in the partnership, it doesn’t matter how kind and nice and helpful your partner is: they can’t make their body go through it for you. My friend told me we go through that as women because we also have the chance of being the ones growing and giving life… or not. So you cancel six months of contracts because you have to be at the clinic so many days in the months and you’re not sure where they’ll fall and you’re not about to spend 30000$ you don’t have to miss a crucial day of the process. Then you get pregnant. Magically, right before you were about to start the treatment you were told you needed and that it was absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for you to get pregnant naturally. So of course, you felt odd for a couple weeks, and bloated, and hungry, and bleeding gums, and a half-functioning brain, and the wine and the coffee tastes so weird, and more, but you thought you must just be tired. Until you take a test almost as a joke. Then you’re confused, surprise, and ecstatic. You’re not supposed to tell people yet, but it’s hard to keep the excitement in and you want the people close to you to know why you’re being so weird. You weren’t going to The Open for the first time since you’ve been dancing WCS because you were going to be in the midst of the fertility process, not you’re not going because you’re pregnant! Wow! But actually, you’ll be watching it just after your miscarriage, feeling reallll bad about it all.

You’ve missed days of work because it didn’t go well. I mean, can a miscarriage ever go well? Plus, you had cancelled contracts for fertility, now you rush back into work like a madwoman to get back on track financially, but let’s be honest: mostly to distract yourself and forget. One day, your amazing partner ask you if you’re angry at him. No, you’re not angry. Actually, yes. I’m raging. Raging because you’ve been there all the way and did everything you physically and humanly could, but I’m raging because you didn’t have to change your life, cancel contracts, miss work, have your body been tested and prodded, take hormones that make you feel weird, feel like shit for weeks while convincing yourself that you feel amazing and keep training and working through it because you’re pregnant and it’s worth it, but actually it all went south and you realize you had been lying to yourself and felt horrible the whole time. You don’t want to go through the process again. It’s heavy on couples. Probably heavier because you haven’t been together for so long, but there is no time. I’ll forgo most of the emotional details to keep privacy for my partner who doesn’t like to be in the public eyes, but many things add-on to each other and the relationship ends. You lose your relationship, your home, your dog, and the hope of a family. I’m not saying it will never happen, you never know what life has in store for you, but realistically, time has gone by and you’re not about to go have sex in a bathroom of a bar with anybody just to get pregnant… not my vision of the whole process anyways.

So as of now, I am contemplating life and family with changed eyes. I am seeing the beauty in what’s around me, starting new projects and trying to rekindle old ones. So when you see me back at events and dancing and you think: Oh nice, we haven’t seen her in a while, I guess she was doing something else/had dropped the ball/wasn’t interested in dance so much anymore, maybe rethink that statement through everything women do not talk about. We do not talk about it because it is intimate what goes on in your body, in your mind, in your life. And nothing to show for it… except a underlying feeling that you’ve lost the place you had forged for yourself in dance through so many years of hard work, training, blood, sweat and tears.

So this is my odd to mothers. The ones who hold children they’ve birthed in their arms, the ones who held children they birthed in their arms but are no longer with them, the ones who never got to hold their child/ren in their arms, the ones holding children of another or multiple others, the ones showing up as the Grand (as in all encompassing, embodying the essence of what is) Mother for all who need it, the ones who never thought they wanted to be it and accidentally fell into the most beautiful love story of their life, the ones struggling right now, the ones who have struggle, the ones not recognizing themselves as they go through a fertility process or birthing process, the ones who are grieving, the ones who are loving, and all the ones I’m forgetting because I can’t even comprehend what they are going through.

With love and grief, Sonya.

#woman body #fertility #ivf #miscarriage #mothers #pregnancy #life #travelsanddancing #sonyadance

Travels and Dancing 26

24 days

4 countries

2 continents

1 dance event

May was full of soft travels, friends, discussions, and fun. June was for discussions, decisions, and changes. July was for hardcore travels, exploration, and rediscovery.

I am re-writing this so many times. Alex and I are not together anymore. I had to find a new place. I lost my partner, my dog, my home and the project of a family. We both know it’s the best decision, yet it hurts. I was lucky enough to take over a lease for August in an area I have been interested in for a long time. The girl moved out on the 4th of July and agreed to let me bring my stuff in before I left for my month trip to Europe/Africa. Now I just have to land in my new home and get organized. This trip was a serendipitous transition. I had been missing travelling and took advantages of having a gig in Europe to gift myself some vacations. It took me a while to figure out flights and destinations that made sense, but it landed on: Paris to see one of my best friend I hadn’t seen in years, Umea for my favorite dance event, Malaga to remind me of how much I love Spain, and Morocco to finally be able to say I’ve set foot on the African continent after all these years of travels!

The house I can afford in Montreal.

I arrived in Paris and took my classic two hours afternoon nap from which you never want to wake up, but automatically resets you in European time zone. My friend and I talked for hours, walked around the city, saw some dancing at Paris Plage, had a delicious meal on Canal Saint-Martin and called it a day. Saturday was the most epic day (that’s if you don’t count Sunday). I had been looking at events happening in Paris while I was there and the one thing I had seen that looked amazingly interesting was the All World Waacking competition at the Grand Palais. Because my friend is generally not interested at all about dancing, I just kind of pushed it aside: I really was flying to Paris to spend time with her. She actually sent me the flyer of the event without me having mentioned it, saying that it’s a place she’d been wanting to visit for a long time and that the battle looked interesting. Yes. The answer is yes. So we made a picnic (we excludes the person who is typing), took some city bicycles and rode through half of Paris to eat our delicious food on the lawn of the Grand Palais. The place (or Palace) was beautiful and the battle was… insane! Talk about diversity. Every group/community/dance that talks about diversity and inclusion has a specific/standard/average look/style/esthetic and that is why the discussion is necessary in the first place. This was: fat, thin, black, white, martian, librarians, a macho man, a man in a transparent dress, gigantic boobs bouncing around, a bra made of KT tape, sixty something and teens… I can’t explain how beautiful and refreshing that was. Coming from the outside, all I understood is that as long as you are you exponent a hundred, you are in the right place. It was truly inspiring and something I’d love to do through my travels and life. The battle lasted five and a half hours, it was a hundred degrees, we were sitting on the floor, and we enjoyed every minute of it (except the last twenty, we were done loll). We bicycled back, found a delicious dinner on the way, and went to bed talking about how we were way wiser than when we met in our twenties, we were partying all night, drinking, before meeting home at 4am to open a bottle of wine (or two), cook rice and talk for hours. That was until Sunday.

Mmm… it was supposed to be an early night, just a glass, a DJ on a boat for the National Holiday and back home by 11:30pm. The first mistake (or not) was to buy a bottle of wine in case the shops were closed the next day for the holiday. We cooked (again excluding the person who is telling the story) and needed some grape juice to hydrate our palates. Well, just a glass before going. Well, might as well finish the bottle. Let’s get one glass at the boat party. But she paid for it, so I had to buy the next round. Then someone came with a drink. My friends disappeared to take some MDMA (which I declined because I am such a responsible adult… not). We made friends. Everybody left. I stayed with my new friend who had lost her friends. People kept reappearing and telling me we were going to Agnes place. I’ve never met her. I don’t know where she lives. It’s easy, just keep walking, you’ll see it. I’ll see a house? Anyway, that was the name of a bar. It started pouring rain so we had to go in. A glass had to be bought. Many cigarettes appeared and disappeared. My friends were there again. Not the new ones, they disappeared. Hot men appeared. Someone knocked my glass over so another one had to be bought. We got kicked out. We made our way home. I ate everything that was available. I looked at the clock: it was 6am. What? Aren’t bars supposed to close at 3am? How did it get so late?

I’ve honestly been in worse shape than what I woke up to on Monday. So yeah, for drinking that is aligned with your soul. We managed to prepare another picnic (you know who did it) and move our asses to the canal to lay there and eat all day. I then saw the fireworks from my friend’s fourth floor window. Somewhere in those days, we did a boat excursion and a forest interpretation trail, and some other fun stuff, but somehow, it’s already blury. ;-)

I took my flight to Umea. Umea. The people who gave me a chance when I started and are still with me twelve years later. It was the tenth year anniversary of Rock The Barn (I know I said twelve, but you have to take the CoCo years out) and they wanted to make it extra special by having all the instructors back. Nelson arrived earlier with me so we could visit the town which he had never seen before. We landed on Tuesday, had some food and great discussions, before a long and well-deserved (subjective for me at this point) night of sleep. We then borrowed two bicycles and rode to town. It really is one of the best thing ever to cycle in a foreign country, in a dreamy city or a beautiful town. We got “downtown” and had a coffee on this boat café (I feel like there is a theme there), walked around, and cycled back.

Someone had offered to take us shopping to get something sparkly for the Saturday night’s theme. I ended up buying so many things that Nelson had to help me roll every piece of clothing in my suitcase for it to close. Not one sparkly thing was bought. To my defense, I shop approximately once every two years and I don’t like it that much, but with Nelson? Yasssss! He found so many amazing pieces for the summer, that I was going to be able to wear in Morocco without getting arrested. I wore my new wardrobe for the rest of the trip. We had the traditional Wednesday night barbecue with Lauren, Chuck, PJ, and the staff before heading to the venue on Thursday to teach our intensive. It was hot in those barns! People were troopers: Swedes aren’t use to 35 degrees weather, let alone dance in it. Maxime and Torri got there, as well as Zee and Dalena, and we had the best discussions around the kitchen table of the house the whole staff stayed in. The event had the largest numbers they’ve had and the best tent crawl. We had eleven tents/trailers/sleeping hammocks to visit with their themes ranging from Barbie, to witchcraft, massage and spa to silent disco, barbecue to blindfolded labyrinth, and let me fuck over all the teachers by having them bob for apples and then have to put their faces in a plate of flour. The winners had constructed a casino where they took “pictures” of us through a cardboard camera that handed us AI versions of us, a human slot machine where you could win chocolate coins, and a roulette for more prizes. The whole thing was amazing. The event was smooth, the competitions ran well, the people were happy, and we had a nice fire on Sunday where the best discussions with the attendees always happen. My favorite was standing in this group of women from different countries and talking about the differences in dating. Until next year RTB!

I got to a cute Airbnb in Malaga on Monday night. When I was planning the trip, I tried to see if a couple friends could join me for that leg, but it didn’t pan out. So I did something I never do: post on FB to see if anybody was interested in joining. I honestly never did it before because I didn’t want to end up with creepy people I forgot are friends with me messaging me. A friend I had met ten years prior reached out and said he would join. I was ready to book everything, but he suggested we made a call to plan together. Just that time reassured me that it was going to be a good vacation. We went for food at the beach and had an early night (my crazy Paris adventures, jetlag, and the event were starting to weight on me). Tuesday was for cooking at the beach, relaxing and a WCS social outside in town. A dancer from Sweden moved there and is starting to put up small pop up events through town. When he saw my post about Malaga, he reached out to know if I was interested in him putting up an event while I was there. There were only a few people from different walk of life and countries and it was perfect. We had delicious tapas after that. My absolute favorite! If you want to take me out one day, it is Spanish tapas. Not any tapas. If they don’t have Tortilla de patatas, patatas bravas, manchego, great red wine and churros for desert, it ain’t it. Wednesday, we had booked a day trip to Ronda, a beautiful town in the mountains. We found the best restaurant with the best view. It was unbelievable. I think we didn’t look at each other one time during the whole meal because we were so amazed by the view. We stopped by Setenil de Las Bodegas and I almost passed out in the bus with broken AC. They called us a new bus for the ride back and the driver couldn’t figure out the AC on that one also: I went to the front and figured it out. Ahhh satisfying fresh air! Thursday I had the great idea of booking a hair appointment because the price quoted was a fourth of what I normally have to pay in Canada… somehow ended up paying three times that and didn’t argue. Oh well. Am I happy with the result? Bof. First world problem. Next. We walked around town, shopped, and visited the Alcazaba. The last day was for laundry, beach, relaxation and good food. Hasta la vista Espana!

Now. This is the part where this text becomes ridiculously long and you decide to come back later to read the rest. It’s worth it. I promise. Best decision of my life (even if I’m writing this text in my hotel room, on my last night, staying close to a bathroom cause we all got sick together and still had to drive five hours to get back to Marrakesh. Best decision). I had a way too early flight to Casablanca on Saturday morning and was really excited about being picked up, checking in and taking a nap. That did not happen. The guide picked me up, check in was not before 4pm and we had to pick up another woman at 1pm. So he asked me what I wanted to do. Me? I don’t know. I booked a tour for the first time in my life because I wanted someone to organize everything for me because I was sick and tired of organizing everything (also cause it was cheap and I was a bit apprehensive of going as a solo woman). I had done zero research and didn’t even know where the tour was going. So I did what any wise woman would do and opened google map, found a beach not too far, pointed to it and said: FOOD. The food was good, the view strange, like in a haze, and the beach surreal. Not in its beauty. Surreal because I couldn’t find the women. There were hundreds of men running, playing soccer, swimming, living like you see men live anywhere else, but where were the women? There were a few. Fully clothed, sitting, not bathing. The guide asked if I wanted to swim and I brushed it off. Yes, but no thank you. We picked up Francine and went to visit Hassan II Mosque. I have a new appreciation for the attention to detail that is put into every craft and construction here. It is truly breathtaking. We couldn’t get in the mosque because it was prayer time, but just walking around it was perfect. A random approached me to do henna and I said no. But here no means yes, just a little bit, more, you’ll love it, no thank you, you have to pay me, I have no change, I have change, I mean I don’t have money on me, an angry small pregnant Moroccan lady and a half done henna on my arm. I was so worried about the food before getting here. I’ve been vegetarian for years (well vegan at home, but lose morals overseas), but I had been sick all year and just found out that gluten doesn’t cut it anymore. Now this is the land of meat, couscous tajine. The meals are actually so ginormous everywhere that I had plenty to eat during the trip. We found food, walked in the old town, I asked for wine in a coffee shop (yeah, don’t do that), ended up with the best mint tea, great discussions with my new friend, and a little siesta at the hotel. That day was Francine’s birthday and the one thing she wanted to do there, was to go to Rick’s Café. I made a reservation, we dressed up, and went to one of the most magical evening. The place was gorgeous, there was a piano, a bass, a drum, the people looked good, the food was delicious and the conversations were intimate. We tried gray wine for the first time, and as the music was transporting us to a new world, I decided to get a negroni. A bottle of wine, a negroni, and strangers smoking at the bar (inside), the only way forward was to blend in and ask for a cigarette. I found a man and a woman who had just met in person that week, after talking for months. He was from France, she was from Casablanca. He took over the piano. He was excellent… professional musician. She was beautiful and in love. We smoked, we drank, we talked, and it was magical.

The third woman of our group joined us the next morning and we drove to Rabat. The Chellah was impressive. So ancient, so powerful yet in shambles. There is so much history in Morocco, I truly know nothing. Well, at least now I know I know nothing. Rabat is a clean, logical, purposeful city. You can see they take pride in the country’s capital and the way they represent themselves on the international level. Mohammed VI tower was impressive and Hassan II tower was interesting… although we got refused entrance to the mosque and kind of understood that we probably wouldn’t see the inside of a mosque on that trip. We need to talk about the driving here. Lanes are a suggestion, you should wait as long as possible and diagonally cross every lane to turn right, flashers are optional, traffic lights don’t apply to motorcycles, roundabouts are intersections that are round, you should honk your horn for no specific reason at all times. This is not an extensive list as I most likely missed really important local customs for driving. We were controlled by the police five times on the road from Rabat to Chefchaouen, the blue city. This has to be one of my favorite place we’ve been to. It’s the atmosphere. I heard children laugh, maybe the only time that happened on the trip, there were kittens everywhere, people were relax, the houses were beautiful, the landscape was stunning, we found a vegan restaurant with gluten free options, we walked around, we missed the sunset, and we went back to our hotel. The Volubilis ruins were, again, really impressive. I don’t think I fully grasped what I was walking on. It was hard to leave, but it is also so hot in the blasting sun that you have to pace yourself. I’ve never been so hot in my entire life and I’ve never worn so many clothes. I understand the usefulness of pants and long sleeves under the sun. The restaurant was full so I had ice cream for lunch, which sounds like a reasonable choice. We decided to skip Meknes to get to Fes. We ate at a rooftop restaurant watching the sun go down behind the city walls. We stayed in a Riad for the first time. Riad use to be big houses for the family where each would have their rooms and perhaps bathrooms, but share an inner courtyard, kitchen and general living space. The contrast between the streets you walk on to get to the Riad and the inside of it is pretty special!

We had a guided visit of Fes the day after. I highly recommend it so you don’t get lost in the Medina and to soak in every detail of the culture and history as possible. We stopped by the Royal Palace first to admire the craft in the construction, we saw the American Fondouk (a free veterinarian clinic founded decades ago by an American woman), walked through the Jewish quarter, went up to the Fort for a panoramic view of the city, and entered the Medina. Each Medina has five things: a bakery, a hammam, a pre-school, a mosque, and a water fountain. They have these double doors that look like a baby door inside of mama’s door and they have two different knockers. If someone knocks on the small door, it is a close relative and the women can answer and don’t have to put the veil. If someone knocks on the big door, the sound is different and they know it is a stranger, someone from the outside and women have to get ready. The bakery doesn’t prepare bread, you bring your own dough, nuts, or meals to be cooked on the wood fire. The baker use to be the matchmaker of the Medina. He would know all the families, who cooks well, who is single, what is the situation of each family… The street signs are hexagonal or square shaped to indicate if it is a dead end (hexa) or if you can go through. The Medina is such a labyrinth, you don’t want to waste time going down an alley to discover that it goes nowhere. The alleyways are narrow and the walls of the houses thick (60cm). It is generally 10 degrees cooler inside of the Medina than on the outside. Some alleys are so narrow that when a family moves in, they have to bring their furniture through the rooftop of the neighboring houses. You better keep good relationships with your neighbors! We entered a silk and wool shop where they were weaving this huge piece of fabric. Everything was so beautiful that I had to buy a scarf: it is made of agave silk. Can you believe that? Vegan silk!!! We visited the oldest university in the world, founded by a woman in 859: University of Al-Qarawiyyin. The madrasa was also fascinating with its tiny rooms. There was a psychiatric hospital that used to use music for treatments centuries ago… So many spices, produces, products, crafts… We visited one of the biggest tannery in the world; they give you mint leaves to breathe through so the smell is bearable. I didn’t get it at first, but once you get to the fourth floor to get the view… wow. I’m not sure I understand how a place like this exists. From the bronze workshops, to the ceramic and pottery artisans, every craft was explained and admired. It had been a long day and we were hungry and hot. We asked if we could stop at a restaurant before hopping in the car and the guide suggested the soup shop. Honestly, I was hot and tired and sweaty and just wanted a nice place with AC and fresh food, but the rule of adventures say that you have to say yes as many times as possible, so we went to the Soup shop. A huge pot, one table, no air, us, strangers, and one of the best meal I’ve had in my life. Bissara is a split pea soup with oil, garlic, cumin, paprika, and maybe more. You add garlic oil on top, more cumin, maybe spicy spices and you get absolute deliciousness. I can’t believe we spent so much for food elsewhere when we could have had that every day for 14 dirham (that was two bowls by the way, a big and a medium, I got excited). The guide joked that we were gonna be full for the next two days and it was serendipitous because there was no gluten-free vegetarian or vegan food for me and my colleague at that night’s hotel and next morning’s breakfast. On the way to Midelt, we stopped by Ifrane. They call it a mini Switzerland. The air is fresh, you can even sky in the winter, and everything is clean. Right beside, you have Azrou cedar forest where we stopped and I sat with monkeys for an hour, just chatting and feeding them. The hotel that night was strange: too big for the amount of people, a huge unkempt pool, and a eerie atmosphere. Still beautiful though.

We drove through Ziz Valley with its oasis and beautiful views, we saw the biggest military complex close to Errachidia, and we walked in Erfoud, a beautiful oasis town in the desert. We were most excited by our next hotel in the middle of the Sahara, Merzouga, with a swimmable pool. It was 46 degrees that day and though we were initially supposed to spend the night at a camp in the desert, they booked us the Nomad Palace (love that name, I can relate) so we actually got some sleep with AC. We jumped in as soon as we got there, with hat, sunglasses, sunscreen, and it was still a lot to handle. We had to be at the meeting point at 7pm to get to our camels. We walked over, my camel saw me, picked me, and we were bounded. The hardest part of the ride was when they sat back down and almost propulse you forward out of your seat. We rode in the desert, took pictures, laugh, stopped and walked up to sit on a dune, watched the sun set over the precious landscape, and got to the camp for dinner. The food was delicious and fresh (where do they get their produce in the desert???), we had an Amazigh private concert, and we were invited to dance, sing, and try and play their instruments. The ride back was in the back of a pick up truck with sand in my face, but stars in my eyes. We had a midnight swim that was so refreshing I almost got the sensation of being cold again after what seemed like so long: between leaving Montreal at 45 degrees with humidity, Paris at the end of the heat wave, Sweden in the midst of the heat wave, Malaga at the back end of their heatwave, and just Morocco heat in general… it was extraordinary. We would have stayed another night there, but we made the best out of it. I woke up early to get breakfast and go back to the pool to swim and read. This time, there was a local teenage boy and his sister: every time I turned my head, his eyes were on me. Let’s say that my bikini was not really local appropriate. We saw the oasis of Tinghir, the largest solar station in the world (Noor), various villages that each have their own specialty (dates, olives, apples, rose city…), and we stopped by the Todra Gorges. What a sensational landscape! Every place in Morocco was a surprise and a new delight for the eyes and the soul. How do you just get in the middle of nowhere and there is a river covered in shade by the height of the mountains, people swimming everywhere, vendors, coffee shops in the back of a truck? It was special.

Later that night, we arrived at Ouarzazate, a city known for being the background of many movies (Gladiator, Game of Thrones, The Passion of Christ, Mummies…). But not before stopping in the middle of nowhere to try and find a restaurant that was closed, then finding a random place on google map, riding in the desert, turning on a street that doesn’t look like one, seeing a blue door, knocking and trying our luck. This lovely gentleman answered and immediately made us feel welcomed. He asked us if we wanted to sit Moroccan style (on the floor) or American style (table and chairs) and we chose the floor. We were in between two doors that created this hot air breeze, trying not to fall asleep as everything was becoming heavy. The women of the family came to the kitchen and started preparing food. We started with a delicious, fresh vegetable salad with bananas and apples, so original (and maybe what got us later…) They then brought a meat tajine and an egg one with tomato sauce, cooked apricots and nuts. Unbelievably delicious. I did feel a bit sick after eating, but calmed myself down trying not to make it a self-fulfilling prophecy of getting sick because I think I’ll get sick from food in the desert. They brought more vegetables, fresh melons for desert, and mint tea to finish. We are happy… until the next day. We arrived at the Oscar hotel later that day. We were sad about leaving the last hotel, but this one was worth it: classy and elegant, with a pool at the center and good drinks! We swam and went for dinner even if we weren’t really hungry just to honor the menu. My roommate got violently sick all night. I was fine. We decided to go visit the Oscar studio in the morning with the other woman, so my roommate could sleep it off and see if she could take the road with us. Halfway through the visit, I suddenly needed the bathroom badly. I didn’t finish the tour. The other girl got sick also. We had a five hours drive to Marrakesh. Let me tell you; it was a long day, but we made it. I’ve never been so happy then when the guy from the Riad finally got here and I could go finish my suffering by myself, close to a bathroom. So that was my first night in Marrakesh.

I managed to eat two bites of melon the next morning without insulting the hosts. I then went back to bed to suffer some more, and decided that I could suffer in my room or at a Hammam, so I attempted the experience. Even if some kind of evil was fighting in my belly, it was worth it! The hardest part was to find the place through the Medina. I started walking and following my gps that was giving me no useful information or direction, ended up exiting through the city wall and being pursued by a man yelling that the palace was the other direction. I said I didn’t want the palace, and he took it upon himself to bring me to the spa… through ten thousand different shortcuts and alleys that were totally unnecessary to make sure we passed in front of his father’s shop where he could explain everything that was on display. I said I was late, and he finally brought me to my destination which was right beside where I started. I was welcomed by a nice lady who introduced me to Fatima who brought me to the changing room. I was offered a robe, sandals, and a locker for my things. She then brought me to the pool on the third floor where I could bathe, lounge, and was served tea. After a while of relaxing, Fatima came back to bring me downstairs for… amazingness. I was brought into a dark, steamy room with a new lady, she took my robe off and offered to take my bathing suit off. She then held my hand to bring me to a warm shower, and then asked me to lay on a bench where she proceeded to do a rub something on my entire body. I don’t know what it was and I don’t care. I was then left to relax by myself and probably counted from ten to zero a hundred times trying to convince myself that I wasn’t going to be sick from the heat, but it was still worth it. She came back to help me shower and brought me to a side room where I laid on a wet black marble table while she scrubbed every inch of my skin: you can keep your bikini bottoms on, but it will be taken apart piece by piece until your entire butt crack has been shed of its skin. She rinsed me, then asked if I wanted a shampoo. Well, yes, I was actually wondering how I was going to wash my hair at the Riad with the terrible pressure. Problem solved. She proceeded to wash my hair and put a clay mask on it and on my entire body. I was left to relax once more. I probably fell asleep at every station (ok, no, not the steam one where I was fighting for my life and wondering if there is a bathroom close enough). She rinsed my hair, helped me put my sandals and my robe on, covered my hair with the hoodie, looked at me, and told me I was beautiful. Wow. Yeah. I’m done. But it wasn’t done. I got ushered into a new room where another lady dried me and proceeded to give me a ninety minutes full body and feet massage with oil. I was left to relax once more, until they came back to bring me to the change room. The end. That lasted three hours and costed me 122$CA, and that’s including a hefty tip! I went through the inside to stop at their rooftop bar to still use a bit of my time here before heading back to my hotel. I asked if they had just a plate of melon to eat. They said no, so I ordered an espresso (the logic here is to accelerate the purge before my flight). The waiter brought me an espresso and after ten minutes, a beautiful plate of cut melons on ice with mint leaves. He said the manager did it for me. Wow. Let me tell you one thing. I was scared about being a woman alone in Morocco, now I wasn’t 99% of the time, and when I was (like today), I did get stopped by MANY men, but every place I went into whether it was a restaurant, a spa, a hotel, a coffee shop, a market, a tour, a home… I got the princess treatment. I have never felt so cared of my entire life. Back at my Riad, the hostess served me some melon, I went to the rooftop pool one last time, and called it a night early for my flight the next morning.

Earlier that week, I was wondering what I could do for my long layover in Lisbon. I’ll be honest: I’m often lazy when it comes to layover. I find it hard to find the motivation to go out with the luggage or find a place for it, exit through borders knowing that you’ll have to come back through security after. But, it was so worth it. I might be a new person now and exit the airport or every layover over an hour! I was talking with a friend who told me there was a WSDC event in town that weekend. What??? A friend I hadn’t seen in years and with whom we tried to align my summer vacation for this year with (it fell through) was there!! So I took my bags, ordered an Uber and got my ass to the event hotel to see her. It felt so good. Seeing her, meeting the sweet event directors, seeing people I hadn’t seen in years… I use to be at least 50% of the year in Europe before Covid and then… I miss the people. Just this stop was enough to remind me how much I need it. I even went to the first half hour of my friend Ardena’s class and it felt so good to move on an airport day. Best use of a layover ever!

I skipped over the month of June as the flow was bringing me to July, but I have to do a special mention for a few things. First off, the last Westie Café before the summer break, featuring the amazing Maria Ford from Ottawa. She brought a concept with so much imagery, props and fun that I could see an immediate change in the students dancing. I was invited to judge at the Ayer’s cliff Rodeo. Not only WCS and two-step that they are slowly implementing, but also line dance. It was so impressive to see the number of dancers present and the passion: every time I set foot in that environment, I find it extremely inspiring. I also hosted the first WCS Marathon in the world (okay, a month before that, there was the first one in Poland I think, but I still had the idea before them ;-)). I invested so much time curating an experience that would be unforgettable for people and there was so much to it. I started by dividing the event into themed blocks that the Djs were aware of, and with a special activity in each: family block with a kid play, community block with a discussion with Champions, hardcore dancing block with a discover yourself dance class, and a late night block with a yoga class. We had a lunge, dinner, snacks, four Djs, six facilitators, a contest, and happy attendees. People didn’t really understand what they were getting into until living it: next time we’ll have double the numbers! I had time to do dinner with friends, go to the jazz festival, and spend one night away with two of my best friends.

The last thing I want to reflect on, is how lucky, happy, and grateful I am for my health. It’s been a roller coaster year (the last couple years actually) and before I left for my big trip, I started having a rash on my belly that expanded little by little to my chest, my upper legs, my arms. I looked like I had some weird venereal disease coming out of me. Anyway, it was really terrible. If you want to look it up, it’s called pytiriasis rosea. I paid 300$ to go to the dermatologist to confirm that it was what I self-diagnosed, but nobody knew about and it was. It normally takes ten weeks to disappear and there is nothing much to do. So I waited and tried to ignore the kids staring at me at the pool. Then one day, I was sitting on a wall at the edge of the Sahara and a magnificent pool, I looked down at my body, and it was cleared. I felt so grateful at that moment. Grateful for life, grateful to keep going no matter what, grateful to have the ability to recognize what is good for me and the courage to follow that direction. Grateful to have legs that work and carry me through the world as I am walking on wonders and dancing through it all. Grateful for life. Grateful for my body. Grateful for me.

All and all, I am making a good life for myself.

Love, Sonya.

#dance teacher #dance #dancer #modernswing #travelsanddancing #westcoastswing #wcs

Travels and Dancing 25

What a busy spring it’s been! The first flight I took after three and a half months without flying (those of you who read TaD 22 know why) was pure bliss. Not the flight itself, I took too many by now to really Loooove the flying part; especially after losing my status during covid and now being in peasant class (just joking for those who don’t know me. Or am I?)… It was more about the feeling that came over me when I arrived at the airport: FREEDOM. Liberty, freedom, it’s the highest value on my list. I’m trying to live it differently, seeing what kind of freedom commitment and routine bring, but goddamn… no. I don’t know how much you have to force things at some point: I wanted to have a different experience by having a pied-à-terre in one place, build relationships, community, and be somewhere that’s my springboard to the world. But that’s the thing, it can’t feel like lead, like something holding me down. I need to fly. Every day, every week, I hear people swooning about vacationing, being able to leave, sipping a glass of white wine on an island in Greece and how they wish it was possible. It’s all possible. It depends on the choices you make. And if stability is important for you, you most likely have built something that keeps you tied down most often. But if your highest value is stability, then it makes sense; mine being freedom… I don’t know if what I’m trying to do makes sense. Either way, I’ll enjoy it and make the most out of it in the meanwhile.

My first flight in months headed to Vancouver. Someone reached out to me pretty last minute, I had a weekend available and we made it work! Before I came, they asked me: How much do you want to work? And I always answer to organizers: as much as possible. Well… it’s the first time someone takes me up on it. On Saturday, I was teaching two 4h intensives, a 1h30 class and attending the dance. Ahahha! It was a blast and it still felt like a vacation. The weather was so nice when I landed that my host Chris and I went for a few hours walk around the harbor. I was so happy to feel the sun on my skin for the first time in months. I was due for that trip. After teaching and dancing all day Saturday (so much that I literally tripped myself at the end of the dance with my lead feet), we had a small opening Sunday morning to walk the Capilano suspension Bridge. It was so refreshing to be outside and see a bit of nature. I then taught privates, one workshop, had a really nice dinner with old friends, and then went on a hunt for a bar that ended up at the casino observing the Craps tables! I had decided to stay one more day than I usually do now that I have weekly lessons in Montreal, and it was worth it: my new friend Chris (I know you’re reading this also, you’re way too curious not to, so HI!!!) brought me on a boat tour to his cabin on an island. It was raining and gray and absolutely perfect for a fire and eight hours of talking. We still need to finish about twelve discussions from that day. The flight back was smooth and not too scary since I was leaving right after for the dance cruise I’m hired on every year.

A not so quick and absolutely not smooth flight after: we got delayed in the air for two hours in thunderstorms and couldn’t land. I was sending a few “I love you’s” just in case because it felt so bad. And I’ve been in worse, but the worse I’ve been in (flight above the Andes a few years back), I wish to never revisit: first stage giggles, second stage silence of a couple hundred people, third stage horrendous screaming… meanwhile I was packing my bag because obviously it’s the most important thing to do in that situation, and when I was done, I started writing a blackbox on my IPhone, just in case… I also didn’t have a shuttle booked to Gavelston and the last one left an hour before, but somehow managed to get outside, mentioned that to someone who pointed to a black van saying they thought it was going that way, intercept the driver going back inside, convince him to let me on and pay cash to get to the hotel. Let me tell you, I slept well that night (well, not really, cause my bunkbed –yes, bunkbed in a hotel- partner was snoring intensely, but you get what I’m saying). The cruise was as each time: a little bit of teaching, a bit of social dancing, a lot of socializing, roaming around, visiting, sunshine. I didn’t book any excursion this year because nothing appealed to me that much (after conversion from US to CAD ;-)). The first port was Key West, which I love, I went off with a couple friends and one had found an application on which you can buy a 15$ city tour. You buy it, link it to your GPS, then start walking and it tells you where to stop, what you’re looking at, the history of it. It’s such a cool concept, like your mini private city tour on your own schedule. I also stepped in the biggest dog poop ever. Took me hours to get it off my shoe. I was waiting for something really licky to happen to me after that, so that night, I went to the casino, but I’m so risk avert that I just watched three tables, asked a bunch of questions and never jumped in: I work too hard for my money for it to go like that… People always say high risk high reward, I’m starting to feel high risk, high loss. Anyway, that doesn’t look good for my new business or the mindset I’ve been trying to change regarding finances and money for the last two years reading all the books, podcasts and more… I got sick at Freeport, so staying at the little shops and having the bathroom close was the perfect plan for the day. Nassau was next and I visited with two new friends. It was warm and I missed being at the ocean, but the town was worth visiting and getting a feel for. Half Moon Cay was really awesome! We took a charter boat and got to the island which is owned by Carnival so it’s the same boat community playing on a beach together. You could book an excursion also, but just being at the beach, having the buffet, walking around, petting horses, chatting, swimming was plenty enough! The return was as chaotic as getting there. I got the earliest shuttle to the airport which actually didn’t depart until an hour and a half later. They told me we’d arrive at my terminal which wasn’t the case, had to run around the airport, had trouble checking in because a man was screaming at an agent, but finally made it to my get and even had time to go to the restroom. Pfiouuu!

I taught my weekly classes and left for the Canadian Swing Championships on the Friday. I hadn’t been in years because of some friendly differences with the organizer. I must say, it was a really good event. Things ran… not on time, but way timelier than usual, the hotel was nice, the workshops were full, the party room was partying, the off-party rooms were crazy, people were in a good mood. One night, I decided to enter every hotel room that had left the latch out (which is the international sign for: there is a party in here, please come in! Right?). There were too many teachers for the WCS side for me to be part of the Invitational which allowed me to sit back, enjoy, get a bit drunk I must admit. The last workshop on Monday morning 10am was rough. As I told my students, one of my biggest fears in life (not really) is to come to my early morning workshop and there is nobody, just me and my coffee. Me crying. Loll. They were awesome, the room was packed and I don’t know how they were still wired to learn something by then. I also had a crazy workshop about emotions where people got loud and intense and an amazing class with the Advanced and All-stars on a concept I hadn’t taught for years and they loved it. It’s so strange how I forget themes for a while and how they pop back up. That particular subject was one I offered in an All-Star workshop in Sweden, really out of the box, inspired by my osteopathy training and I didn’t know how people were going to react to it. Well, after two hours, they wanted more, and said it was one of the best workshops they’ve ever had… wow! And I go and forget about that. Go me.

I also had my weekly classes on Monday night and managed to survive through them. Taught for the week and left Thursday for Nanaimo Dance Fusion. Finally! I was supposed to go last year, for their first year, but got called in for surgery and when that happens in Quebec, you don’t say no because you’ve already been waiting for a year for it and they’ll put you back on the list and who knows when your next chance will be. My partner came with me to CSC and to Nanaimo, I think it was a bit intense for his first full events: two in a row, CSC that is insane and Nanaimo where he doesn’t know anybody. NDF is a mix of WCS, latin and line dance. I got to meet the people from GOLD and talk to them a bit about judging line dance as I’m getting more involved in that world in Quebec. We landed and walked around the harbor to enjoy the weather, had some delicious food, a necessary nap, and went to the pub for the Thursday dance. The organizer had a nice breakfast for us on Friday and I taught a lot of privates before workshops and competition. My partner did his first JnJ! Saturday and Sunday were filled but at a pace that feels manageable, so not running around everywhere to make it, just moseying on to the next task. On Sunday evening, we went to a floating pub. We took a small charter boat, had some nice food and came back before dark. We ended up with an amazing group of people, having drinks at the hotel bar and then discovering a beautiful acoustic artist in a bar and dancing until 2am. I was so happy to see old friends and have time to enjoy their presence. Mmmm… breath of fresh air.

Next stop was Vancouver. My partner and I took the ferry in the morning, he went to work in the Vancouver office of his company while I ate and walked around. Unfortunately, I didn’t remember the street you don’t want to end up on, so I obviously managed to wonder directly to it. Let me tell you, as soon as you get there, you know. But, for some reason, it feels as bad to turn around then to just continue as soon as you’re engaged on it, almost like you know they’ll sense fear so you should just keep going. My god. It wasn’t pretty. Gastown was though. At night, we had dinner in Edgemont for my friend’s birthday with his daughter and his wife whom I hadn’t had the chance to meet yet. It was a beautiful evening with a geat seabus ride, nice Mexican food, great conversations, good wine, delicious desert, all and all perfect! Tuesday was waterskiing day. Ok. I don’t know how much you know me by now, but know that I love water and somewhat I’m also terrified of it. So the idea of going on a boat, with nice weather and then waterskiing sounded amazing in my head, also petrifying in real life. Honestly, it wasn’t that bad. Well, if you see the video of my face when I managed to get up: it was actually awesome! We got to the middle of nowhere, in calm waters, forest and islands around, got some snack – I will here skip the part where I had to go to the bathroom so badly, no not that one, the other one, and we had to go 20m off to get somewhere cause my belly, yeah – I put the wetsuit on and jumped in the water. That’s a lie. I actually sank my nails into the leather of the seat while my friend helped me put the skis on and then had to calm my breathing so I didn’t hyperventilate before even getting in the water. Now mind you, I’ve wore a wetsuit three times in my life and the two first ones, it wasn’t the right size so I just had the entire lake of water floating in and out of my suit for whatever amount of time I managed to stay in the water and never understood what the point of the suit was. This time it was the right fit. I get it. Way more comfortable. After a few fails, I finally managed to get up on the water and thought: I will hold as long as possible because I don’t think I’ll be able to go back up again. I even managed to get to the other side of the wake and ski in the calm waters until my legs told me that they were done for the day, for the week actually. We visited a friend of my partner that moved out west, we ate great food and we rented bikes to go around Stanley Park. It is a truly beautiful city. All of BC. Really BBC. NO! It’s not what you think you dirty… it means Beautiful British Columbia.

We boarded the Mountain Mike (somehow in my head it had transformed into Magic Mike Mountain Bus and I was expecting stripping or something) for a ten and a half hour drive through the interior. It was smooth and we got to Castlegar in time for dinner with my best friend and her family. They moved out west four years ago so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like, but hey, when they lived in Montreal, I was the one who was gone all the time so… Their house is on a plateau in the middle of nowhere, even the cell reception barely gets there, the sun is warm on the skin, and the wapitis and bears are common visitors. We visited Nelson, went to the beach, hiked to a waterfall on the edge of a cliff, walked through an old growth forest, saw lots of wildlife, swam in freezing water, and had an overall fantastic vacation. We then drove through Banff to get to Calgary for our return flight to Montreal. What a blast!

Montreal was welcoming as always with laundry, cleaning, groceries to be done, cooking, getting ready to host the last Westie Café of the season and also parties with friends on my side and on Alex’s side.

For our next trick, we’ll go back in time. I was so excited about my first flight that I had to tell you about Vancouver first, but other great things happened right before… A relaxing spa day with my love for my first day off in months and inviting my friends to Nuit de la danse de la FIFA. International Festival of Film on Arts, something like that in English. I’m the Queen of finding cheap or free activities in town so my friends are now used to accompanying me to extraordinary finds or terrible shows. It’s always a surprise, and always good memories if you live through it with good friends. Unfortunately for my boyfriend so far he accompanied me to only “good memories” shows… there is now no more trust in my choice of activities (except a great show by a friend in Montreal a few months back). I think it was a great evening. Ok, some shorts were weird, but some were flirting with genius also.

Then came ByTown Open in Ottawa. It’s so good for people from here to have Canadian events with the conversion rate to US right now and the whole situation… lots of folks from here are cancelling their travel plans South of the wall and opting for North of the wall activities, vacations and events. Oh how the tides have turned! Luckily for me, after being sick for months, I found out right before BTO that I have a crazy gluten intolerance (maybe celiac, we’re waiting on those tests). I cooked and packed food for the whole weekend, said a prayer to whatever it is I believe in and got on the road. Everything went smoothly and I managed to keep food inside of my body! Yayyy!! The funny part of that weekend is that, on Saturday night, I decided to do a demo in a dress and heels. You know, to switch it up, showcase something different for those who need to get inspired before trying something different. A few women came to me after to thank me for wearing a dress, that’d they’d been wanting to do so for a while, but thought it was not ok/allowed/possible in WCS. Anyhow, after the demo, there was a confusion in my schedule: I tripled checked about ten times (yes, that’s thirty total) if I was in the Krazy Canuck challenge (that’s like a golden ticket tour or Sweet Sixteen or whatever you know that is battle style and tends to get crazy) where a pro dances with an am that made it to finals aka the battle, and I wasn’t in it. I thought, great! I’ll sit down and enjoy the show and support. They end up calling my name while I’m chilling in my dress, I’m confused, people around me are confused probably thinking what is she doing, doesn’t she know she has to be up there, I’m looking at them, they’re looking at me, my poor am probably seating by now. So I go up with a smile thinking: this is really not an outfit for this. I remember I have pants in a bag in the ballroom. I run off, grab them, put them on, tie my dress in a gigantic knot at my waist and go out like this for the first round. Second round, I put flat shoes on. Third round, a friend gets eliminated and gives me her shirt, so I take off my dress in the corner of the room, put the shirt on and dance. We got eliminated on the fourth and last round and I am convinced it is because I lacked a wardrobe change: you got to give the people what the people want! ;-)

I gave a teacher training in Sherbrooke and an intro class to about 30 people (which is huge for that town) in April to a group of country line dancer. I’m trying to develop WCS here and not just take from the pool of dancers that were already here. Mind you, Montreal was really lucky through its development because there has been a non-stop succession of teachers and organizers taking over for the last one went they left. So we’ve never had a lull in time and we’ve been able to grow non-stop… not really fast nor exponentially, but nonetheless, grow. I also judged a WCS and Two-step competition hosted in a country event besides line dance competitions. Oh, I almost forgot: I created, curated and filmed 110 videos to create a syllabus for teachers around Quebec to use. Things are happening in this province!!

I also gave my favorite workshop of all time: Emotional and physical choreographic partnership. I know, convoluted name, but people had so many questions about it, that I had to put a lot of information in the title. I was inspired by Galen Hooks, an amazing, top-of-the-world teacher and choreographer. She does workshops and routines that work on emotional connection, performance, connecting to the public/camera, and it’s always about being fully there with what you’ve got. You don’t need a horizontal grand jeté, you can make it clean and sharp and connected at a ninety degree angle! I had sixteen courageous people who came in, still not really understanding what was about to happen until it did. The age range was from about 23 to 70yo. We warmed up, established who wanted to play which roles, which ended up way more diverse than I thought it would and started learning the choreography. The choreo itself was simple in plain, the game was all in how you wanted to interpret it with your partner, what is the story you chose to tell, what you want the onlookers to feel. Everybody rolled on the floor, pulling the other persons leg, jumping, turning and pouring their souls into it. Can you believe that? All Westies with only a couple who had other dance backgrounds. It was beautiful. I want to bring that concept on the road if anybody is interested in hosting it.

I think that’s it for now. It is June in Montreal, spirits are high. Lots of decisions to be made, surprises coming up, and hopefully, everything will pan out as it should.

As always, thanks for reading.

Love, Sonya.

#dance teacher #dance #dancer #modernswing #travelsanddancing #westcoastswing #wcs

Travels and Dancing and Life 24

One more year. We survived. So far. Most of us.

Well, this introduction lets you know a bit about how I feel. I hate winter. Really, it depresses me. Not the idea of it: snowflakes falling romantically from the sky, hot lattés by the fire, fresh air… that all sounds beautiful, if you forget that you have to work, shovel your car from under feet of snow while you’re freezing your ass of, everybody sick, and the lack of sunshine. Seasonal depression is real. I know half the people are tired of winter, half are indifferent, another half loves it, and the last half (yes, that’s a lot of halves, just making sure I’m not forgetting anybody, so I’m including 200% of the people) is too depressed to answer the question. That’s me. Seriously though. I tried to convince myself for YEARS, the entire first third of my life, while I was living in Canada: oh it can’t be winter, maybe it’s trauma related to my birthday, maybe it’s just that I see less people, maybe… then I left for twelve years and I wasn’t depressed and annoyed with the world every month of February. Now that I’m back in Canada… oh boy. And you’re going to tell me that it’s almost over, but really minus twenty is coming back in a few days, we’ll most likely have a couple more snow storms, then April is ALWAYS rainy, and everybody acts surprise (I have to admit it hurts less to forget every year), May starts ok, and then gets really nice on Patriot’s Day, so mid-May. It’s a fucking long way to go if you ask me. Anyway, all that said, thank god I do something I love, with people I appreciate a lot, and I have a great partner with me (who unfortunately has to suffer to my bad attitude for this month).

Here is me locked into my house by a huge snowstorm. ;-)

This year started with a bang at Floorplay. I had the chance to go see my Florida family first, hang out for a couple hours in the sun by the river and then get to work. It was a fun weekend, with creative ideas (Hurricane tournament was full of golden nuggets that inspired me to create new things in Montreal. Thank you Hugo and Stacy). The event was well ran, the lay out was nice, and I had a lot of fun dancing in the All-Star/Champs strictly and in the Invitational. I always love the concept of AS/Champs, it helps people be seen and creates new matches instead of the same pairing we’re used to seeing. I also started my chief judge training there with Robert Cordoba. I wanted to get into it initially for a small event I’m organizing monthly in Montreal, but also… I feel like my career has taken a turn that I’ve finally accepted in January. I want to build community, I want to dance, I want to be with people, I don’t NEED to be in the forefront anymore. I want to coach, mentor, harness young people’s energy who want to do that for a living or for fun. I like what I’m discovering in the background: it is a whole new side of creativity. Creating an event type and style that never existed before and seeing it come alive with people enjoying it. Yes, that’s really rewarding. My body can be pushed the way I want to, to do what I want to, and dance how I want to, not to try and be “the best” (whatever that means) and dance in a way that is accepted as the highest quality instead of what I really value and want to showcase. It’s liberating. And sad. I decided to go back home the 31st at night so I could enjoy ringing the New Year with my partner. Another bittersweet decision: I missed being with everybody for the big night… a lot. But, it matches the values I’ve decided to embody in this part of my life: relationships, community… in a different way. Building with the people who are there for me on a daily basis and being there for them as much as can be. It doesn’t mean I’ll make the same decision every year, but it seemed right for this turning point (especially that I was supposed to be pregnant, but then wasn’t anymore… anyway, that experience also shifts things around).

I had a wonderful New Year, and was supposed to drive north right after for an energy weekend with my group, but found myself exhausted. I had been working 12-14h days for the last month to catch back for the work I’d miss while having a miscarriage and to set up things in a better way for the future: like developing my website to be able to get payments and registrations online, everything feeding into one calendar, creating receipts, and subscription lists. I had the same work regimen for January (no days off) to achieve a system that will most likely save me ten hours a week for the rest of this part of my career! One step for every registration, instead of six different ones. Pffeeewww! So January was intense, but at least kept me busy enough to not care about the weather outside. Beginning of February was slowing down to decent working hours with teaching, coaching, marketing, performing, but someone rammed into me on the highway. So it’s been a month of trying to fix that and get my insurance to pay (still not done yet) and forcing myself to drive to try and be less stressed and traumatized every time I take the wheel. I have been almost successful so far. But I am hopeful!

If you want to have a peak!

Sonya Dessureault is a globally renown west coast swing teacher. Learn about her story, what's she's up to now and how you can connect! Read

Ottawa invited me to teach private lessons, workshops, and a teacher training. I had such a warm welcome, amazing home-cooked meals, even managed to get some rest through the crazy schedule of the weekend. I am really thankful and hope I get to go back soon!

My partner and I had bought a wine course for the month. I had been wanting to do one for forever, but them always being on weekends or evenings, I could never register. It was awesome! Really interesting understanding the difference between taste and aroma (what I thought was sweet is mostly red fruits, but red fruits are part of a family of aroma, but not necessarily sweet, generally not actually), learning about types of vines, how they grow, how you can recognize them by taste, how you can identify a younger or older white or red, what is the vinification process for the different type of wines. I’d like to do another one to go deeper into vines and also one about scotch. I love scotch!!! Valentine’s Day was smooth and brought some tenderness to my cold frozen winter heart, along with some fun for my birthday. I found this awesome jazz singer and band and went there with my closest friends, saw my family and found a way to have everybody present, and a student of mine had free tickets for Revolution which is a really high level dance Quebecer TV show. It was all awesome and soothing to my soul.

Amazing Jazz band!

I also started a monthly dance in Montreal where we have Jack and Jill so people can practice or try, if they’ve never competed before. I also have a new judge every time so people can experience what it’s like. I have people try and be MC for the day, so they can see if it’s something they like and would enjoy more of. The DJs are trained for socials, but not necessarily for competitions so it lets them dip their fingers into preparing a competition set. I also have people try dance photography and videography for the first time; it lets them see if they have the right set up and equipment for movement and low lighting. Finally, if people want to shadow chief judge or understand scoring, they can work alongside me. In short, it’s a big training ground for the community, and so far, a big hit! Feel free to contact me, if you want mentoring to develop an evening like this for your community.

The first weekend of March, I took a road trip to Burlington: I hadn’t been to that community in YEARS! We use to go there when I started dancing and they were bigger than Montreal. So we’d drive down for the evening, dance with everybody and drive back up. I definitely didn’t stay long enough to enjoy the beauty of the place, the calmness, the people, but I had to go back to Montreal to teach at my Westie Café dance. I finally managed to stop by a retreat center south of Montreal on my way there: I had been wanting to go for months, but never seemed to find the time. I stayed for one night and tried snowshoeing for the first time. I’m trying to be more outdoorsy, but really, I’m scared shit. So already going in the woods by myself was a lot. I tried to go with my winter boots and ended up buried in snow to my waist after two steps. Turned around, finally understanding the purpose of snowshoes, picked whichever ones I saw (found out later that they were for a 200lbs person), and left. My heart was pounding so fast, it looked like I was a prey running away from its predator. I tried to stop and enjoy the silence, but couldn’t do it more than two minutes at a time after which I started wondering if I was on the right path. Found out why you’d need sticks also: let’s say I had a good workout in hills! I did survive and came back to sit in front of a fire with a great book before enjoying a plunge in the pool and a sauna. I went to bed at eight pm and woke up at eight am. It was absolutely delicious.

I had one more weekend at home to clean, redecorate, fix some things in the house, see my friends and family, and do a teacher training for a huge association of dancers in Québec. It was awesome!

Then I left for Québec City. What a beautiful place, filled with beautiful people! I had a full day of teaching Friday and enjoyed a glass of wine with a friend I hadn’t connected with in forever. Saturday was open enough for me to visit a friend in her new apartment (she bought it in 2021) for the first time and enjoy a meditation session with her and other friends. I then went to dinner with two awesome people before teaching a workshop and dancing until they closed. Sunday morning was easy with a good chocolate croissant, a coffee, some classes, and a smooth drive home.

4 generations in one picture!

All and all, it was a pretty tame winter contract related. I had initially made a five months whole in my contracts to go through fertility treatments, ended up pregnant, and ended up having a miscarriage and reaching out to fill the void. Literally. I would say considering everything, it was a good winter: great business in Montreal, found a few contracts that I really enjoyed doing, started a new dance in Montreal, saw my family and my friends, survived the winter, and even got to do a few courses on production, backstage elements, and lighting conception for shows! And now, the sun is out, hope is back, and I have a great schedule coming up.

Well, this was a short one compare to my usual, but we’ll go with it!

Kisses!

#dance teacher #dance #dancer #modernswing #travelsanddancing #westcoastswing #wcs

Travels and Dancing and Life 23

Since there are less travels in this season of life, I decided to add an important piece to the title. Well, you’d have to have been following me in details for years to notice and care about a difference, which I think makes two of you, but! Details are important. (and punctuating your texts however the hell you want to.) You’re welcome.

I left you last time with my move into my super handsome, awesome boyfriend’s place. Well, it’s still awesome. I foresee a lifetime of happiness for me. Finally. I told him he was stuck with me unless he left. Lucky man. Anyway, I had a gig planned in Spokane. What an interesting place! I can most definitely say that it’s not a place I particularly knew of or that I had on my list of places to visit, but I had a blast. As always, how can you not when you travel to do the thing you love, meeting people who have the same passion and are so eager to welcome you in their community? My best friend Kim drove down from British-Colombia, Canada to meet me two days early so we could spend some time. I was so happy to see her, yet, something was off. We both left a bit disappointed. I was wondering if it was possible to have grown apart after being friends for more than half your life??? It was pretty harsh. Kim wrote me a month after to clear the air and I’m happy she did: I didn’t know she felt the same… I think I was just so exhausted from a summer running around trying to make up for lost time after my surgery, that I didn’t have any empathic bone left in my body and was so on edge that nobody could get to me and connect. Now that I think about it, I had seen a great longtime friend of mine during the summer and it was the same kind of off vibe: you know when you’re the common denominator…

After she left, I started teaching privates and workshops to the westies of Spokane. It is a small, welcoming and warm community. We had one dance and the next night we went to the last opened night of a gastropub owned by one of the dancer. I was served a delicious vegan meal prepared specially for me; it was delicious! I had the chance to explore town and Pig in the park with food and music and it was the 50th anniversary of Expo74. What a treat. The last night, we were invited to Arbor Crest winery. It is a beautiful winery located on a hill, overlooking the city. We had the chance to see a concert, drink delicious wine and have a private tour of the property. I couldn’t imagine a better ending to a weekend!

The weekend after, I had kept free to be able to be at one of my boyfriend’s best friend’s marriage. Wow. That was hard to write. Alex had a beautiful group of about ten guy friends that have known each other since high school, Cegep or their early twenties and they managed to see each other every other week, plan chalets, do birthdays and be there for important step stones. I wish I had that… but I understand I left and travelled and picked another life that didn’t allow for that type of connections and habits to be built. I think mostly habits. When I came back to Montreal, it wasn’t because I wanted to be there, it was because I was ready to step in a new part of my life where relationships are more important than work. I was hoping to maybe find a love relationship, but certainly to work on friendships, family connections, and community. Well, turns out most everybody that asked me to come back throughout the years and that were missing me are too busy to see me. It makes sense: the way we have constructed life in North America is non-stop busyness. So, you run around to work, trying to take care of your family, hoping you have time for a couple workouts and, who knows, a hobby, and by the end of the week, you’re exhausted and you need a break, which you only get if you’re lucky. You try to maintain a couple friendships with people who have been there for you through the years, and… I’m not part of that, I was gone. That includes my family. Do I regret coming back? Not yet. ;-) I understand that the relationships I thought would be are not it and that I have to focus on new ones; I found my partner; I’m there for my family through news of cancer, other disease, accidents, financial hurdle (it’s been quite a year since I’m back);I have a couple of friends I hang out with that I love; and I’m putting efforts towards the community. I believe I get what I deserve and for now that means I need to put effort in showing the traits of characters that people didn’t know me to have before: being a community person, working on interdependence, teamwork, reliability, and much more. I hope after almost two years as I wrote this letter, people are starting to see it.

All that to say that I went to a wedding! Lol I called it the first “real” wedding I went to a few times, and one of my friend asked me: “What is a real wedding?”, to which I enumerated a few qualities. My boyfriend then said: “But you went to yours.” Ouch. Ok. Lollll Point taken. Anyways, it was a beautiful wedding, in a cozy venue. It poured down, but everybody played well. They brought the ceremony inside, the vows were beautiful, the cocktails were on point, they had really cool games, and most importantly: PEOPLE DANCED! How lucky am I/are we (if you are in the same situation, which I assume if you are reading this) to have friends that dance? I would be so sad if all my activities were sitting and consuming things. I love the fact that my friends will dance, sing, scream stupidity, come to a burlesque show with me, throw axes, do karaoke, and EXPERIENCE life! Honestly, that’s what makes it worth it for me (and I’m realizing it as I write it). I don’t want to watch life pass me by like an old person sitting on a porch, watching people walk by like the never ending flow of a river you never step foot in; I want to live it! I want to jump in the river and make a fool of myself, get messy, meet other swimmers, and see where it takes us. Who knew retelling a wedding would make me poetic like this?

Months before this, a woman wrote me to have a private lesson at an event. Great! Have you danced before? You’re from out of town? I have danced before, never wcs, and I live in Yellowknife! It was a really nice encounter, we had a beautiful lesson and we parted ways. She contacted me again as she was passing by Montreal to have a lesson. We had a good time, she left, and she asked me if I wanted to come teach lessons in Yellowknife. Absolutely! Wow, there is wcs in Yellowknife??? No… but there will be. So a couple of things before we keep going. First, if you don’t know where YK is, it’s wayyyy north in Canada… which is already north. Second, if you don’t know me, I don’t like the cold. I didn’t want to come back to Canada mainly for this: I don’t want to go through winters again (last one was pretty tame I must say). I like warm weather, sun on my skin, heat. So I would never think of going north for a vacation. When I heard that people were paying more than 2000$ to go north in the off chance that they’d see a northern light… I couldn’t relate less. Nonetheless, I will always say yes to being invited somewhere new, to teach and explore. I landed in a beautiful, sunny YK, and I had to go take a nap. My body was still recuperating apparently. I woke up to go eat fish at the most known local place: Bullock’s. It looks like a shack from the outside… and well, honestly from the inside too. They have fish with fries and salad or fish with fries and salad or fish with fries and salad… well, you get the gist. I normally don’t eat fish: I’m mostly vegan, but when in Rome… It was delicious and a great experience. I saw the harbor and went to bed, absolutely forgetting to put an alarm through the night to see northern lights because I was so tired and I wanted to be at my best for teaching! The next day, I had privates and workshops all day, followed by a nice dinner at a Thai restaurant and a dance with the courageous people who had just learned wcs for hours on the same day and decided to show up and boogie! I just love that energy! I went back home thinking I would put an alarm and decided to see some lights, the forecast was good. Right before I went to bed, the organizer wrote me and said: “Go outside, there is a show.” And a show it was! Wow! I can’t explain the feeling. I knew auroras moved, but not like that: they actually dance! I had seen the faintest of one in Island for my birthday a few years back, and they had told me that wasn’t it, but I was still impressed, not knowing what it could me. Now that? That was… magical. 2000$ to see that??? Yes. Absolutely. I get it now. And that was just from my balcony downtown, imagine from the forest with no city lights at all! The next day was filled with privates with amazing people. The organizer had told me she was going to set up privates for me, but I had thought: with who? Everybody is new, they just have done a four hours intensive the day before, their brains are going to be full. Apparently people are as passionate up there as anywhere else, or they are bored cause there is nothing else to do… to be confirmed. I might be mixing the days, but that night, we went to two of the dancers place and they had cooked probably the most delicious vegan lasagna I have ever had, garlic bread, we had brought delicious ice cream from a local shop, good wine. It was a blast. The organizer had asked me if homemade food was ok for the weekend or if I preferred restaurant. Are you kidding? I feel so taken care of and honored when people cook for me: homemade food anytime (except maybe if the person cooks like me then restaurant might be better).

I had one day left to explore and best believe I made the most of it! I started with a walk through town (downtown is a big word for this place really) to go get a warm local coffee. I then went to the Prince of Wales museum, which has a free entrance, and tells you the history of the North West Territories (Canada has provinces and territories like USA has states). I walked the long walkway around one of the lake through town, went through old town, climbed the tiny hill to get a view of the harbor, and the organizer came to pick me up for a hike. I have to admit I was expecting a strenuous hike and was mentally prepared for it: it was anything but arduous, but extremely beautiful. A walk through the woods, giant rocks (I love rocks), a view of Cameron’s falls, crossing the river on a bridge, laying on rocks with the sound of the water while eating chocolate. Perfect. We came back for me to have a massage I scheduled with the boyfriend of one of the girl who was visiting from Quebec! It was delicious. We ate pizza and then… I had mentioned that I loved exploring and that if something comes up, I’ll do it, but that I was extremely scared of water especially at night and not really at ease in general with the outdoors, something I want and am working on. For example, going on a big hike, in the middle of nowhere, by myself is more stress inducing than soothing. So we went kayaking, at night, on the main lake where people have boat houses. We paddled to a floating sauna!!! Built by one of the local. You get there, park your kayak on the edge of the 2 feet platform, take some wood from the back, start a fire inside the wooden cabin that is so well insulated that after 10m you sweat like a pig, you then jump in the lake to refresh yourself (which I was also afraid of lake sharks as we joked about), and when you come out… you are in the middle of the lake, nobody around, and there is a freaking light show above your head! The lights came out again for my last night. One looked like a dome above us. It was really magical (I know I’ve used that same word earlier to describe the same thing, but that’s what it is. I guess I could have said majestic also. The two majestic things I saw in my life were: northern lights and swimming five feet away from a whale and her baby.) I can say that trip was a success on all fronts.

Being home. Having a home (I was on the road travelling and living out of my suitcase for years before that) has the advantage that you can have people over. So I had my second housewarming party in a year (faithful to my habits, I had been in Montreal for a year and a half at that point, but already live in three different houses/apartments/condos). People from both sides of my family were there, some close friends and it was a blast. The next day, I threw my boyfriend and the dog out for a girl’s day with a Eros presentation. It was a lot of fun and although it lasted six hours; it was too short to catch up on everything we needed to tell each other. I also had the chance to bring my partner to the concert of his favorite artist visiting Montreal: Kygo. I didn’t know I liked him before and couldn’t see the point in going to see a DJ live, but the show was really well put together, interesting, full of visuals, and great surprises. I’m putting all the weekends home in a bunch, but between those occasions, and being present for friends and family members birthdays, which I haven’t been in years because I was gone… that’s what makes the decision to come back and stay in one place worth it. I have been travelling less than I’d like to just for a month as I’m writing this and I’m already feeling it. So it’s definitely something I have to be careful with moving forward, to make sure I keep that side alive.

Another weekend I had booked off six months in advance to make sure I could show up for it, was a chalet with all the women on one side of my family. I left earlier on Friday to walk at the Rawdon’s falls area and read my book laying on some boulders (I told you I liked rocks, they are always warm and welcoming… I have a weird relationship with them I guess. I can’t be the only one, no?). I got to the chalet early and read some more while waiting for the crew to arrive. It’s so important to spend time between women, interesting discussions arise that wouldn’t in another context. We made the meals together, ate great food, talked into the night, sang karaoke until 2am, had a lot of wine, celebrated one of the girl’s birthday, and went for a hike. It all fell way too short, but still satisfying.

Montreal Westie Fest was next in line. I hadn’t done an event in a while, the last one was New England Dance Festival at the beginning of August. I do a lot of weekend workshops lately, they are better financially, but events are better for visibility. I get sad lately wondering what happened to my career. I mean, before CoCo, I was travelling all over the world every weekend. Years ago, in a partnership with Stephen, but for years after that as a solo female professional. Covid happened and I didn’t have a partner to create with and post on social media, so I created a bunch of offers for solo followers, I trained in pole and aerial to stay fit, I kept teaching online… but when things picked up again, nothing. And I have to admit, I don’t want to be gone every weekend like I did before, but one or two a month would be perfect with the business I’m building in Montreal also. But it’s like if somewhere along the line, I’ve lost my value for events. Even if I know I am a great teacher, when people see and experience my teaching in group lessons, workshops or privates, they hire me for more; that point doesn’t seem to count as valuable for events. I am not on social media enough to be seen, I don’t have a partner I create and inspire people with, if there is an Invitational division, I will put up a show and generally place, but if it is a Champion division, my name doesn’t make it to the finals, so I don’t get to showcase anything. I miss having a partner. I miss creating at my level, inspiring people, getting inspired myself, making a difference in the dance and being part of its evolution. But maybe that ship has sailed. Let me know if you’ve read until now if you have ideas for me to add value to the international community (I am doing a lot locally, which is new for me, and working very well). All that to say, MWF was a blast as always. I topped my record of privates in an event weekend (18!). I could have done more, but had to say no, which I hate doing, but I physically couldn’t. Workshops went great, the dancing was on point, the all-American JnJ was a blast and I definitely went off in the Invitational. If you know, you know.

I had more occasions of being with friends at home, my friends, Alex’s friends, visiting someone’s new house in Ste-Adèle, going to Christmas Markets with my best friends and seeing an epic Quebecer band live. I also am the queen of finding free events to attend. So with a couple friends, we had the chance to see the international final of a Spoken word contest… for free! My friend’s kid was amazing. After a few performances, he turned to us and said: “When does it start?” Ok, the spoken words art wasn’t a success with the kids, but with the adults, yes! I also got us tickets for the recording of a show, which is basically a live concert with epic Quebecer artist: Valaire, Boom Desjardins, Dubmatique, Laura Malia, Aswell… two hours of great music, some drinks, my friends getting pulled on stage to dance, and we finished the evening at one of my friend’s place where his wife was having a party. Oh what a night! I went to a line dance competition in a small town in Quebec and had a taste of the beautiful country dance culture we have around here. I finally saw the Rocky Horror Picture Show! I organized more guided practice for Montreal westies, I taught group lessons, workshops, intensives and privates in town, and I organized my first Westie Café! I had been wanting to do that for a year: a Sunday afternoon dance for those who can’t come out at night because of work schedule, kids, and preferences. We have an hour of class, and two hours of dancing. I serve coffee, fruits, pastries, people can bring their kids, we talk, we dance and we connect. It has been a success the first couple times and I hope it continues like that!!

For Halloween, I was in Toronto with one of my favorite person: Nelson Clarke! Anytime I can, I try to get him with me on contracts or just be around him because I know it’s going to be a great weekend. The organizer and many people there were also friends, since I live in Toronto for the majority of 2022. I was teaching an intermediate workshop on Friday by myself. I got there and there were… about 18 followers and 1 lead?! The theme of the class was call and answer. Loll Let me tell you, I had to do a last minute reset so everybody could dance their role, practice and learn something. Saturday was packed with privates and workshops with Nelson, and we ended on Sunday morning with the advanced dancers. It was a quick and busy weekend and I was hungry all the time… which brings us to the next part.

TRIGGER WARNING

I came back from the weekend and still didn’t have my period (I know, random topic to bring out). We had done fertility testing with my partner during the year and the results weren’t really bright. So we organized ourselves, I had to clear my schedule for a few months to be in town, and we had to save money to start IVF. That was the only possibility in having kids… So Monday morning comes, I am really late, I also know it’s impossible for me to get pregnant, it’s a bit confusing, but I decide to do a pregnancy test despite everything, knowing it would be negative. Well, it wasn’t. My partner and I were so confused and also elated. And I had no clue what to do. I had spent the last few months researching in every minute of free time, every book, every podcast, every article, I could get my hands or ears on about fertility, in the hopes of understanding the 10 000 medical terms thrown at us, and hoping it helped us to make the best decision possible; but I hadn’t researched anything about what to do when you’re pregnant. I took another test to be sure, they were both positive in a second, I called some people who told me to get on a waitlist for daycares (the waitlists are years long in Quebec), and for birthing houses if that’s what I wanted to do. We couldn’t get a hold of any doctor to get any appointments for a follow-up (thank you free healthcare), but we finally had an appointment for December. I started doing research, thinking of reorganizing the house, making lists of what we’d need, imagining having an argument with my teenage kid in a few years’ time, being happy I wasn’t at The Open, because initially I was supposed to be doing fertility, but now it was even better: I wasn’t there because I had a little chia seed growing in my belly!

Some of you know, you feel like shit or all sorts of things in the first trimester, but you’re happy to feel like shit because it’s for a greater cause. A few weeks after that, I started to feel better physically… ok… is that good or terrible? I am happy to feel better, but worried it means something is off. You do research, they say it’s normal, you don’t necessarily have symptoms in the first trimester… but I had… Then, one day, I had some light pink on the toilet paper after going to the bathroom. They say it’s normal, it can happen. Online I mean, cause there are still no doctors available to talk to. So you wait and try to breather and tell yourself not to freak out, that everything is ok. Two days later, I have bad cramps, I go to the bathroom and there is a lot of blood. I’m panicking. It’s the night, no point in sitting in the emergency room and wait for twelve hours (not an exaggeration in Quebec) while I’m bleeding, we’ll call in the morning. I just had a place in a birthing house. We get an appointment, they say they can’t see, they’ll send us to the hospital for an ultrasound. I’m bleeding, they need to draw blood, but nobody can get the vein: fours nurses, one clinic and an hospital, nine missed draw and one successful one. I see that something is off at the ultrasound, nobody wants to tell me: the doctor will tell you. Back for another appointment at the clinic: maybe you just did a mistake in the dates. Yes, but I’m bleeding and cramping and I don’t see a foetus on the ultrasound. We’ll do more tests. A week and a half, ten blood draws, nine missed ones, ten clinic and hospital appointments, six ultrasounds, liters of blood, my body not managing to expulse, having to take the pills that create horrendous pain (well, you’re having contractions like if you’re giving birth, except you don’t have the happy outcome to look forward to. Btw, for those who are against abortions, I wouldn’t have had to be able to have the treatment my body needed if I was in a place were that was illegal). One more scraping, one more ultrasound, to make sure everything is out, one and a half week or work missed with no income, having to deal with the physical pain, and now it’s time to catch back on all the missed work, so no time to process. And now I have to watch The Open with a flat belly and not knowing what just happened. I’m so happy there were three routines I choreographed and coached that made podiums because… it was a rough one. Now, I don’t know how I feel. I still haven’t had time to process. I need a break. Maybe I’ll get one for the Holidays.

Moral support:

To end this, I want to say that there are always two ways (or more) to view things and to present them. When I post on social media, I want it to be helpful, informational and/or spread positivity and joy. Sometimes life is not all that.

So I could present my year in two ways:

2024: traveling, dancing, meeting new people, reconnecting with old friends, being there for my family, meeting the love of my life and moving in, getting pregnant, being part of a community and helping it grow.

2024: removal of a wisdom tooth that went poorly, infection, loss of income, sickness, cancer in the family, financial problem in the family, surgery and another loss of income, no partner for the Open, no dancing at my level, exhaustion, a miscarriage and another loss of income, feeling like I’ve lost my worth in the community.

Neither one is right, neither one is wrong. We obviously choose what we want to present to the world, but we have to choose how we look at things and encompass everything. It’s often easier to remember the bad, our brains somehow want to imprint it more than the good, but we also have to take it into account. No life is perfect, everybody makes life choices and consequences come with it. There are also seasons of luck and seasons where we are extremely unlucky that have nothing to do with decisions we made (I don’t think anybody deserves to be sick or lose a loved one). So next time you look at someone’s life on social media and you think that you would like to be in their shoes, remember two things: first, their shoes are also full of shit; second, if there are elements of that person’s life you really want in yours, work to rearrange that part of your life so you have it!

Thank you for everyone who’s been there for me and with me this year. You know who you are and I love you.

#dance teacher #dancer #travelsanddancing #westcoastswing #modernswing #dance

Travels and Dancing 22.5

From Sweden, I decided to take care of one of my bucket list item. I don’t have many items of this style (travels) left since those are the ones I decide to tick off first. I just always made sense with travelling the world for work to find a way to make random destinations fit in between gigs, the best one yet has been managing to get to Easter Island, Santiago, and Mendoza after teaching in Tahiti, before an energetic training in Bolivia in Lake Titicaca, and before going to teach in Buenos Aires! What is left now are a few trips I added that I can do or not, maybe when I’m retired or when it makes sense, and long term items like having a kid, learning another language, maybe playing piano, studying… well, I won’t say too much, you’ll see when it happens. Croatia had been on my list for too long. I tried to make it happen in 2019, but it didn’t work, then Covid, 2023 didn’t work also for different reasons, and now I was like: I almost don’t go to Europe anymore, I have to make it happen! I have to admit that I rushed into it and it was poorly planned. At first, I had hoped Nelson would join me, but he already had other plans, then I thought maybe my boyfriend could, but it didn’t make sense, and then I thought of asking my amazing friend Greet: we used to see each other every second year max through hers and my travels, but with covid and me travelling less, her trying to stay in Europe to minimize environmental impact of travelling, well, we hadn’t seen each other in… 5 years? I had to buy my Sweden flight to I bought a multi-destinations back from Zagreb. I definitely could have planned better, go south, drive up the coast the few days that I was waiting for my friend, but I spent a few chill days exploring Zagreb. Absolutely love the city. Even during a heatwave. I was supposed to meet my friend at 10am on the Thursday to leave for the coast, but she missed her train. No worries, reconvene for 5pm, get the rental car and start driving. We met at 6pm and there was a message for us in the rental car business window: they had waited for us, but were gone (even if closing time was 8pm). Ensued a race for a rental car that we wouldn’t need to pay 400 euros for and that we could get that evening to not lose any Airbnbs we had another reservations along the way. After much talk, we managed to pay the guy from the first place to come back and reactive our reservation. Anyway, after a great start full of adventures, we managed to drive to Plitvice Lakes. We slept a few hours in a cozy room and left early to visit the park. We had read that it was full, but omg… I’ve never felt so far from nature while being so close to it: just throngs of tourists on a single wooden boardwalk, stopping to take pictures and creating traffic to a complete halt. Honestly, not the best part of the trip.

It’s beautiful, but… we drove to Pag where we were going to stay for three days. That part was awesome: waking up early to go swim and lounge at the beach, get a coffee and a pastry, when it gets too warm around noon, find a small restaurant for lunch, go back home for a shower, reading and/or a nap, go back out to walk or explore, get dinner or a wine tasting, come back home to talk while sipping on a glass of white wine on the terrace. Hard life. My favorite part of the trip was finding the Life on Mars hiking trail. Well, they reconstructed it in the last year so it’s mostly a boardwalk (not so much hiking per se), but the view is incredible and the landscape makes you feel like you are on Mars. We found a corner of rocks to go down to and swim naked. It felt so good, refreshing, making us feel alive again. We put our clothes back on and about 1m after, we hear crazy loud music and tones of people: a boat with about two hundred people just made the corner. Loll. Timing is everything. We had to drive back to Pag, take the car back, have a final delicious vegan dinner together and I left in the early morning to catch my flight back home. For the first time in a long time I was in economy plus. Oh! Now I understand why I use to be ok travelling so much, what a freaking difference, you don’t even realize when you’re used to it, but I lost my status with the pandemic and let me tell you, having warm food served in actual plates, good wine in a glass glass, more leg room. Delicious!

I made it home Wednesday night, did laundry, packed, slept, said hi to my boyfriend, and left to teach all day Thursday. I was supposed to leave that night at 8pm after my WCS guided practice to get to New England Dance Festival, but I was so exhausted and jetlagged and lost my copilot, that I thought it’d be way safer to wake up extra early and go. So 5am on Friday and I am on the road to Newton, Massachusetts. I remember going to that event as a baby westie with the Montreal crew… but it had been a while! I was welcomed warmly by the sweet even director, got settled, started teaching some private lessons, had a couple awesome workshops that were pretty full and with a great atmosphere, judge the competitions, and reconnected with people I love so much and use to see all the time when I started WCS and we would all drive down to Boston, Vermont, New England area, maybe DC. It was a beautiful and refreshing weekend that ended with a lively breakfast with the event director. You know sometimes you meet people, one generation before you, that inspire you a lot. That was it.

The last paragraph was shorter, not because there was less to tell, but my wrists hurt from writing. Loll Commitment to the cause! Which cause, you ask? Well, having memories for me to look back at, and if it entertains some other people, then great! I had two days to repack and organize for a road trip with my love. Oh, also I forgot to tell you about one of my worse idea ever. I decided that I didn’t want to bother people and ask for help to move and that I was going to do it myself during August. Yeah, nah. Wtf is that idea? I was so exhausted by the end of it, it could have been done in 2h with 10 people and a pizza, instead it took me so many hours, time and energy: packing, bringing the stuff down to my car, driving it back to my partner’s place, bringing the stuff up three stories, unpacking, driving back there. Stupid, stupid idea. Oh well, you live, you learn. Maybe, hopefully. I was so out of it, I managed to leave with the wrong mattress (the owner had left one there) and now I have to rent a small truck just to do that exchange. Grrrrr…. Anyway. That part is almost done by now. I feel like I am starting to breathe again. Naturally, my car broke down before the road trip and during. A classic. But all and all, it was a success. My partner had never camped before, I am use to car camping by now, which is approximately a hundred times better than camping, so we borrowed a tent and all the shebang. The first night we stopped in Quebec City where I had a couple privates to teach and a workshop. I have never enjoyed teaching a workshop so much. I can’t put the finger on it and probably because it is a mix of many elements, but the studio space, the people, the atmosphere, the attitude, my enthusiasm for the cause loll. We all had a great time and they received material to practice for the next year.

The next morning, we left and drove on the coast. We stopped in Ste-Flavie, my favorite spot in Quebec, and we set up camp in Matane before heading to a country evening by the water. We had a good night of sleep, a delicious breakfast on the stove and left to get to Parc Forillon. We had a few stops on the way, and when we finally got to our destination, it smelled like rain. So I thought it’d be a good idea to set up a bash. I have a lot of the technical knowledge, but the manual execution of a three year old with one hand trying to tie a knot in a carrot. Thankfully, Alex was better manually (not so much technically, you would have thought the reverse for a dancer and an engineer!). We managed to set everything, woke up in the middle of the night to the sound of a gigantic plastic bag getting tossed in the wind: it was storming so bad the bash actually broke. Get out of the tent, undo everything under torrential rain, get back in the tent wet, try and sleep to wake up an hour later in a puddle of water. Luckily for us, the next day was sunny and windy so we managed to dry everything out. We drove to what use to be a secret swimming hole until someone put it on TikTok last year and it blew up so bad that they had to create installations and make people pay. It is really a beautiful place, with an aquamarine waterfall, and a sweet décor. We then stopped at a perfect sandy beach for some rest and later grabbed our bicycle and roller blades to roll on the beautiful cycling trail they’ve created from the beach to the town. There is almost never anybody there, it is so peaceful! We came back in time to sleep early and wake up at 3am to walk to the Sunrise Show. It is part of a festival and I have been for a few years now: you go on the top of a cliff, get some warm coffee and cookies, sit in your camping chair and listen to the amazing artist while the sun rise beside you. Absolutely majestic. Every time. We went back to camp for breakfast and a quick nap before hiking to a viewing tower with a crazy 360 view. It was definitely worth the steep incline. We drove to another beach that day and tried a local microbrewery before heading back and trying to start our third fire. We did it!!!! We bought kindle wood cause our axe was not so performant and we only had twigs and logs. The next way was the drive back and a stop in Rivière-du-Loup for a really nice Auberge. That is when the car broke down and we couldn’t get it to accelerate passed 70k/h in a 100k/h zone with one lane each way. It was a bit stressful, but we made it and found a mechanic. They couldn’t find the problem that night so we had to go back in the morning (meaning my sweet Alex because I was just not wanting to hear anything about my car anymore). We dressed up to eat pizza with a fancy wine with a stunning sunset. Probably my favorite part of that trip, just the layers and contrast. We enjoyed the spa, the view, the food, the perfect king size bed (now my boyfriend wants a new bed where he actually has room to sleep without me rolling over him), we played some basket in the morning while waiting for the car and we made it all the way back home that day. A miracle. A 600$ miracle, but still. ;-)

Now, I have moved in with my partner. There are a lot of new things happening for me. A way of living life that might be ordinary and easy for most, but that I don’t know and never learned to function in. So wish me luck on this new adventure we call life!

As always, thanks for being with me if you read until here. And if you liked it, you should buy my book: it’s twenty times more interesting… at least.

#dance teacher #dancer #dance #westcoastswing #wcs #modernswing #travel #travelsanddancing

Travels and Dancing 22

At Christmas 2023, I asked my partner if he wanted to come on a dance cruise with me in May. He said yes. The next day, I was a bit worried that it wasn’t a full yes and I didn’t want to bother the event organizer with adding someone if it wasn’t going to happen. After all, we’d been seeing each other for about a month and a half. I asked and he said he was afraid that it was the alcohol speaking. It wasn’t. So after barely meeting, we committed to a week on a cruise ship 5 months away. Time passed in a blink and I was so excited to be heading south… although I was also stressed because I had been waiting for surgery for a while at that point and wasn’t sure if it was a safe idea to go. Well, you know me, I went anyway and it was a blast as always! Somewhat different than other years: I ended up hanging out with a way different group of people than I normally do. My favorite thing on the cruises is always the comedy show: they do hire some of the best of the country. This time around, Jailyn was absolutely hilarious. We got time to relax, enjoy the pools, sunbathe, go to the gym, dance with the people at the different bars and venues (the best being the live band at the Pig and anchor!), the workshops were packed, the atmosphere was great, hot tub was hot tubbing, the food was delicious (and actually had some healthy option like a delicious fresh salad bar on the serenity deck)… all and all, the entire week was a success. We had the chance to explore Jamaica on ATVs, kayak in a mangrove in Mexico, and enjoy an all-inclusive beach in Cozumel. Galveston port is a bit awkward to get to if you’re not driving in, so we decided to take advantage of the stop in Houston and have a little visit. We rented bicycles and visited Memorial Park, walked through downtown, found great food, stumbled upon a jazz festival at Discovery park, made new friends there, and went back to the hotel to enjoy and chill. The return to “normal life” was hard and felt good at the same time. Bittersweet, but now that I actually have a place to go back to, it helps the sweetness of it. ;-)

I was then supposed to fly to Victoria to teach, then get to our newest Canadian wcs event Nanaimo Dance Fusion, and then meet with my best friend for a week’s road trip in the Rockies. That plan was bulldozed by finally getting a date for surgery. I mean great, we can get it over with, but shit, also have to cancel everything and plane ticket, let the event know and feel horrendous that I can’t fulfill my contract and that they need to hire new people last minute, can not work for a month so no $$$ and God knows it’s been a rough year between an abusive relationship, a problematic wisdom teeth removal with infection and three antibiotics that kept me out for two weeks, the surgery I was supposed to have last year and cancelled gigs to then have them cancel on me last minute… So I cancelled everything, got the surgery, was in pain for not too long, everything went well, started walking again, eating, taught maybe 6h on the third week as my energy was coming back up, and I had the go from the doctor at the end of the fourth week. A few of those hours were at a high school that has a dance program where students have one to two hours of dance every day for five years!!! And when they looked for a teacher, many people recommend me. I was so excited about that gig. I researched what young people listened to so I could play songs that made them want to dance, prepared my classes differently than a normal “intro class”, and we had a blast! They were attentive, interested, asking great questions. I definitely want to go back whenever they’ll have me. Then we had the Chalet WCS, I organize each year with Philippe and Flore. I absolutely love these two and admire them so much for what they are accomplishing in their personal life alongside their professional life. We rent this beautiful ancestral home, north of Montreal, with about 15 bedrooms that can sleep up to 40 people in different assortment of beds. We have a couple bathrooms, do all our meals together, we learn, we dance, and we laugh. It is one of the most relaxing “work” weekend of the year.

Pandora Retreat and Colorado Classic were next, the first one we had to cancel because we pushed it out too late, the second cancelled on me, which made me feel horrendous. I had already been out for a month, had to cancel everything, felt out of shape, and for the first time in my life, I get an event cancelled on me. Oh well, life being what it is, two other amazing opportunity came up. First, Glenn asked me if I had time (which I now had) to come choreograph three routines in Austin with him. It felt so good to move again and create with someone new. I haven’t had a partner in year so I mostly teach, choreograph and do everything dance wise by myself. Don’t get me wrong: I love it! I can pace the class as I want, I have great feedback from my classes, but having someone at your level with whom you can share ideas, discuss all dance related things and create? It feels like candy. So the Austin week was a success with that and me exploring a swimming hole, seeing good friends, teaching, and getting back into pole. The second was a free dance festival that was supposed to have an African artist come over and teach, they had last minute issues with the visa, and the organizer thought of WCS. He looked for teachers in Montreal, stumbled upon my profile and felt like it was a perfect match. When he contacted me telling what had happened on his side, I told him that I am normally booked months in advance, but that for the first time in my life I had had a cancellation and we found it quite serendipitous. I landed from Austin, taught privates in Montreal and drove up north to get there and have the privilege to watch a percussion band play for our small group in the middle of a forest. Magical is one of the best word I can think for that. I slept in my car, in my favorite car camping set up (that I have not used barely enough this summer). The next morning, I participated in the dance workshop and for lunch we had a sharing. I started to feel a bit off. Like I soak the energy around me so much to fit it, but it’s not my energy, so I said no. I will be myself and stay myself and that is who I’ll be for the class. We had three hours together and I taught a sugar push and a left side pass. You must be thinking: that’s it? Well yes, and it was more than enough so we had time to explore connection concepts, musicality, togetherness and stay in line with the philosophies they were playing with for the week. I had so many comments afterwards of people saying they had tried a form of swing or partner dance before and got put off by it. That they thought to themselves that they would never try it again, that the approach was sterile, and that when they saw the title on the workshop list, most didn’t want to come or thought that it’d be a good time for a nap, but knowing the event organizer, they decided to trust him and try it anyway. They loved it so much, that they want me to come up there regularly. We’ll see what we can do…

The next adventure was a guy’s weekend. We’ll call it a friend’s weekend because I was there, but really… since I am back in Montreal (and since before if we’re being honest), the two persons that have been there, consistently showing up, are my two friends Dom and Nico. I’m pretty slow at catching up that people want to be friends, and I’m still in the habit of thinking I’m always alone in the world (even if I came back to Montreal to build relationships – old habits die hard), but these two never gave up. I don’t think I understood for a long time what they wanted from me, like what do they get from keeping in contact with me? Until, I found out that that’s what people do when they like you and they want to be friends… oh well, it’s never too late to learn something! So we left with another good friend of us, PO, rented this beautiful ride and drove to a region of Ontario with the best vineyards. We did some great wine tasting, we went to one of the best beach in Ontario, we slept in a nice hotel, we ate good food, but above all, we laughed! What a freaking blast to just do stupid shit and laugh with friends. I’m saying harmless stupid shit: worse jokes ever, learning a line dance at 2am, discussing about life, dissing on each other. It certainly was one of the best weekend of the year.

I came back to Montreal to teach for two days and then drove to Toronto. The idea was to leave early so I could enjoy a beach on the way, but I ended up stuck in the tail of whichever hurricane was passing by at the time. So no beach, but also plenty of time to drive at 60km/h (so 35mph for the thousands of American readers) with everybody on high alert and still get in on time. First stop was a shopping mall because I had a small crisis the week before when the entire Mtl WCS community recognized my shadowed out picture because of my ripped jeans: they had a good life. So standing in front of Urban Planet and Hudson Bay, between being a teen or a grown up, I thought: I can’t possibly go to Urban Planet. But mid-life wasn’t so appealing either, so I went for the mid-life crisis: Urban Planet. It ended it being the best shopping spree of all times. I bought two pairs of pants, four tank tops, two t-shirts, two shirts, two hair clips, a hat, a water bottle, and three pairs of socks for 144$CA taxes included (for Americans, about 2$US). With my newfound personality, I headed to pole coaching. A student of mine, had invited me to come over and choreograph a pole routine for his upcoming PSO competition. We worked a lot, had a lot of fun, and managed to get the whole routine choreographed in two days! It was then time to head to the one and only Toronto Swing and Hustle Championship. It always feels great to be at an event that feels like home. The community there is so welcoming, and was also my home for a year after pandemic. Seeing all my students, all my friends, hanging out, having the Montreal community there supporting the event also, was really nice. I had two intermediate-advanced workshops that went really well, a bunch of privates, some judging, pro intro, the usual… but one of the best part is the Anything-Goes-Invitational-Crossover! So, if you have seen a crossover JnJ before, you know how it’s mostly for fun and show that we are humans also, not some untouchable professionals that are good at everything (even if some would like to believe), but this one makes sure we understand it’s an anything goes… everything is permitted… the funnier it is, the better. I drew Markus. Last time, we drew each other was forever ago and didn’t amount to much, so I said: let’s go!!! You know when you stay in the ballroom to encourage your friends for awards, but you end up hearing your name for 1st place? Yeah, that’s it. Loolll. Either way, it was a blast. The whole weekend was.

Quick 5h drive home to work a day, do laundry, pack, attend not fun medical appointments and fly out for Sweden. For how many years have I been writing this blog now? 9? Anyway, you’ve heard me say it every year, so it’s getting kind of boring by now, but… best event ever: Rock The Barn. Why? Well, it’s so far north that the sun never sets (although if you ask them, they say by that time it sets a bit, but I don’t see it, I just see magic), we dance in barns, we are outside all day, people are camping or glamping, the cafeteria cooks delicious meals with actual vegan protein if you are vegan instead of you-eat-everything-that-the other-have-less-the-meat, the workshops are full and people are intent on learning, you don’t want to stop dancing cause you think it’s still 9pm, the crew is really nice, they always hire a group of teachers that play well together, the demos are fun, they have a welcome barbecue when we get there… I love it! For the second year in a row I have been teaching with Nelson whom I adore. It is also another event that has literally seen me grow in my dance and in my life into the woman that I am today; they hired me for the first time in 2013 and every year after. So they have known me and I have known them for 11 years now. Since they didn’t have the event during CoCo (that’s my love name for it so it’s less traumatizing), next year will be the tenth year celebrations: I can’t wait to see what they pull out of the hat for this one; the yearly tent crawl is already epic!

... part 22.5 coming up!

#dance teacher #dancer #dance #westcoastswing #modernswing #travelsanddancing #Youtube

Travels and Dancing 21

To start the New Year, I had the chance to spend a weekend with a group of beautiful women doing energy work in a chalet in the Laurentians. I needed that reset and what a reset! Wow! I am forever grateful to everybody I’ve met on my energy work journey in the last 12 years, for all the help, the community, and the work towards an upward spiral, fighting entropy and darkness. Then I had the honor of going to teach in a beautiful small community not too far from Montreal called Sherbrooke. I love weekend workshops. The fact that it is one straight line, no running around between judging, workshops, privates, shows, is one of the advantages; but what I really like is that you follow one or two group for an entire weekend. You can see them develop together, there are generally more questions being asked because people get to connect and feel safer, there is a theme for the weekend that is always fun for me to create. I had a beautiful welcome, great workshops and an amazing teacher’s training (which I also loooove to teach) with great teacher’s brains: everybody was asking the right questions, working hard on the art of diagnosing and enjoying themselves. Future Westies of Sherbrooke, you are in good hands!

I was then invited to come teach for the first time in the community of Waterloo, Ontario. A baby community of only 2 years old, which the leader, Mikaela Lewis, managed to grow in a way I haven’t seen before. I have traveled around the world witnessing how wcs develops and, yes, there might be a part we can attribute to timing (wcs being really popular right now, thanks to all our colleagues that are pushing the social media market with IG and TT), but there is just an approach that she has to building that I think she could sell for a lot of money! It was a beautiful weekend, filled with workshops of various levels, privates and dancing… I think 160 people showed up at the Saturday night dance. Have you ever seen that after only two years of wcs existing in a town?

It is now the beginning of February of a really mild winter (secret and guilty thank you to global warming) and I am heading towards Philadelphia to practice with one of my partner. I get there a bit late on Friday, plane delays as usual, and we have a great practice into the night. The next morning, we wake, head towards the studio, start practicing, and… I mess up my neck. Fuck. Let’s say that I haven’t had the best run with health in the last year. Is it the trauma of what happened last March? An addition of all the health things I didn’t take care of until now because I felt young and invincible? Yeah, that sounds about right. We try to find someone to see me asap so my neck doesn’t freeze for longer than it needs to, I end up going to the massage therapist and babying it all weekend, but we couldn’t get much done. I am not really good at dealing with health stuff that doesn’t go my way. It makes me feel powerless and everything I do relies on my body… so I was really disappointed about investing in a plane ticket, time and energy in going to Philadelphia to get as much rehearsal as possible, for my body to say: No. Thank god my partner is one of the chillest person I know, it helps calm me down and not add catastrophizing thoughts on top of the reality and be able to observe the facts a bit clearly. Still shitty.

I got some osteopathic treatment when I got home so I’d be able to teach the next weekend. Québec city it is with the amazing Nelson! I have mentioned it before in one of the Travels and Dancing, but I love Nelson so much. There is just an underlying level of trust that I’ve never had with anybody in dancing before (except Stephen for routines, I would have trusted him with my life), that helps us create... anything and everything! Every time we finish dancing we are like:

- Oh my god! That was so nice what you did!

- I didn’t do anything. What you did was amazing!

- I didn’t do anything either!

Lolll. We know it now and we understand it is thanks to the immense trust we have between us as human beings first and then as dancers. So when people ask me, I always try to have Nelson hired along side me. We taught some workshops together, some individually, did a demo and danced with the beautiful westies there. Thank you Québec for the amazing weekend!

Next weekend was Sacramento for Capitol Swing. My first time at this event. I have heard about the NorCal vs SoCal friendly feud before and I must say, I am definitely NorCal! I found the people to be so nice and welcoming, just a bit more of a relaxed and true atmosphere than events I’ve been at in SoCal. Nothing bad, just a difference in vibes. It’s like if you ask: is Madjam or a chalet type of event better? Neither. What do you like? Do you like big lights, want to be inspired by the best shows in the world and de surrounded by hundreds of people during the social dance or does this overwhelms you and you prefer to have an intimate atmosphere where you can create connections, have the time to dance with most of the attendees and have smaller group workshops? I don’t think there is a better one, just what you prefer, want and need at this moment in time. So I would suggest, before booking an event, you inquire about the general vibes and set up of it, and you take a minute to look inside of yourself and check what is best going to suit your path right now. So Capitol was one of the best ran event I’ve attended, beautiful attention to detail. I really like Ben and Cameo McHenry’s minds, they are always trying to push the envelop with ideas that follows what they value in dance. I particularly liked the Champion’s choice Strictly. The idea was that a Champion asks an All-Star of their choice whom they’d like to dance with, to do Strictly with them. It was fun to see different pairings than the usual Champions Strictly. I had a blast dancing with Keerigan.

Stephen and I did our routine again for the first time since the Open. We trained, social danced, met new people, it was awesome… until my flight back. Worse epic I’ve been on. Loll It started with an 11pm overnight flight and it ended up with, delay, sitting on the tarmac until 3am, returning to the hotel, sleeping for 3 hours, going back to the airport for a pushed back 2pm flight on which they couldn’t find my seat, trying to fix that at check-in for an hour, getting on the plane, getting deplaned again for a 4p, departure, getting so late at my layover that there was no other flight to Montreal for that day, sleeping at the hotel, a total of 48 hours in airport with a 45$ voucher for food (imagine the feast you get for 6 meals at an airport with ALL of that money), missing a day of work, loosing a bunch of money, getting home to sleep a bit and start working the next day. Loll Not my best run. I am still waiting for compensation for that flight, my case number is currently 64 308 in line.

I was finally home for a weekend, which was my birthday weekend! First birthday in Montreal in 13 years. Yes!!!! I was so happy to be able to spend that time with my friends and family. One of my best friend lend me his apartment so I could invite my friends from school, dance, family members and have a joyous melting pot. I also had my handsome boyfriend with me all weekend and everything felt perfect! Thank you so much again to everybody that took the time to come and spend time with me: it means a lot.

Can you believe I had two weekends at home without working (well, still taught some privates and did online work, cause work never ends…) in March? It felt really good to rest, see my people and finally spend time with my partner. Time is a bit restricted when one of you works a 9 to 5 and the other one, 4 to 10 and is gone on weekends. One of the reason I came back to Montreal is also because it is where there is the highest concentration of people I love, but I am never available at the same time as everybody to hang out, so this is something I am trying to change and establish: make enough money at home that I don’t have to go away 4 weekends a month to eat, 2 would be perfect cause I still love and want to do it!!!

I taught an intermediate competition intensive in Montreal and it went amazingly well! Better than what I could have envisioned. The concept is to have one for each level of WSDC competition, four hours with a really small group of people (maximum 6 leads and 6 follows) who are currently competing at that level and want a better understanding of what the judges are looking at at that level, the difference between a prelim and a final (until now pretty standard), but then receive individual attention to understand what they need to work on in order to get yeses or place. I put my judges hat on to help them see what pieces are missing that could give a judge a reason to give them a no, then I give them drills to practice so when they get to their next competition the judges don’t have a quick justification for a no. Again, it always depends on who’s competing around you, but your job is to make me work so I have trouble leaving you out of the finals. The students were happy, the teacher was happy, it was a great weekend!

Then I was waiting for Aaron to get to Montreal to practice, but… he wrote me to say that they got delayed. My first reaction after the Sacramento debacle was: oh no… hopefully it’s not as bad. It wasn’t. For the traveler, but they got delayed so bad and had to get rebooked. The soonest flight he could get rebooked on was for the Sunday night and he had to leave Monday morning. So that fell through, but! He managed to rebook for the following week so we had a day to practice before heading to BTO Open! It was Aaron’s first Canadian event. I think he enjoyed it. ;-)

BTO was really great this year. A bit smaller than the previous year if I’m not mistaking, maybe due to the fact that Boston Tea Party resuscitated! Ayo! So between Madjam, BTP and BTO, it was a lot in a month for the eastern Canadian westie community. We did have a crew from Calgary come over, cheer and be absolutely awesome for the weekend, alongside the Toronto, Québec, Ottawa, Montréal, London, Waterloo westies, and more! My boyfriend came Friday night and saw me dance live for the first time in the Invitational. I was so excited, but then I couldn’t see him in the crowd when we got on the dancefloor and I thought for some reason he had left! I looked like a kid looking for their parents in the crowd. Loll I did put on a show, and obviously, he was still in the room and loved it! Hihi!! The Inivational with Philippe Berne was fun, the strictly with Nelson was smooth, and the Pro Show with Nelson was probably my favorite performance of my lifetime. I taught an advanced workshop with a new concept about shaping and shifting that was really well received, a novice workshop that had a big impact on their dancing, and a strictly tune-up that was really fun. It was a really filled and fulfilling weekend!

My family was kind enough to postpone Easter dinner for a week so I could join in my “weekend in town” of the month. It felt so good to see everybody and way too short. I also had the chance to meet a side of my boyfriend’s family I hadn’t met before and enjoy a long and delicious day/meal.

Then came the Calgary Dance Stampede. I was supposed to compete in my first country ProPro division, but… life had other plans. In my entire adult life, of teaching and performing dance, I had never cancelled anything related to work. Well, one time in Germany, I was in pain for what I didn’t know is what I am awaiting surgery for, and I had to forgo the social dance. I need gallbladder removal surgery, I am on the wait list, but that can be a really long wait in the Quebec health system, I have been mostly doing fine with just a few crisis here and there. Until the end of March, I started being in pain 100% of the time. Not the worse, but about a 5/10, just enough to slowly sap away your energy. But when I was on the plane to Calgary, I had a horrendous crisis (I was wondering if I should ask them to land the plane) and by the time I landed, I was livid. I had to find a doctor, get pain medication and managed to teach and judge, but I didn’t have the energy to compete or perform. I really hope this can get resolved quickly. Actually, as I am writing this, I have had my first day without pain for a month and I just now realize how much of a difference it makes on my life force. Besides that, the event was purely magical. There is something about the country side that is so relax, just a culture I love, that, mixed with wcs, creates a delicious cocktail. So I had a great time even through all that.

Coming back to Montreal, I cancelled everything non work related so I could conserve energy for that: I can’t stop working now, cause I’ll have to stop working for a month after surgery, so as a self-employed worker, you have to come up with a way to make up for that loss. So I’m working pain or no pain (mostly pain). In 2020, I had booked a holotropic breath work retreat with an ex. As you can imagine, it got cancelled, and I got credited for it. Years went by and I couldn’t find a retreat on a weekend I wasn’t working and that was close enough for me to drive to… until! I saw this Chester, Connecticut retreat. So I booked it. Four years in the making et voilà! One of the agreement of the retreat is one of confidentiality about what happens during the weekend, because it is really intimate and vulnerable for most attendees, so I will keep it brief. It was intense. I don’t think someone could understand it by just having it described to them: you really have to live it to know it. And even then, I feel like I don’t know anything about it, that I just dipped my toe in the world of holotropic breath work. I drove six hours on Thursday to get there in time to check-in and register, we then had an opening circle which was really beautiful and set the tone for a safe, open and vulnerable weekend. A delicious dinner was served, followed by a preparation workshop so we could be ready for what was going to happen during the weekend (we weren’t… or at least, I wasn’t even with all the talk), and we went to bed early. My roommate was a blast, we talked and giggled every night before bed. Friday came with the first three hour session where I was one of the breathers. My god. Yep. That’s it. 30m integration, 1h lunch break, and we were at it again interchanging roles; I was then a sitter for one of the breathers. My god. Yep. 1h integration, 1h dinner, and sharing circle. Everybody went to bed early because we were all absolutely trashed. Saturday came with the same schedule, except that my partner and I exchanged breathing times. The guesthouse lit up a ceremonial fire for earth day and some of us went out with a guitar, a harmonica, our voices and a lot of enthusiasm. It was a great night. We had a closing circle Sunday and a talk about integration. I hugged everybody before hitting the road for an exquisite 6h of silence and personal debriefing. I will have to make another article about this weekend at some point so the readers can understand something of it, but I need more time to integrate and make sure I express things in a way that is respectful to everybody and doesn’t disclose anything that shouldn’t be.

Anyways, thank you for reading until here if you did. I don’t know who you are, but I’m sending you little particles of love and patience towards yourself. See you next time!

#dance #dancers #dancer #westcoastswing #travelsanddancing #modernswing #dance teacher #dance events #holotropic #health #life #Youtube

Travels and Dancing 20

I like writing these. They calm my nervous system down, help me figure out what the heck happened, because, damn life happens! Some people tell me that that’s what my next book should be about: travels and dancing. I agree, I want it also, but it’s not there. I’ve tried many times to write a book and the only one that actually came out all the way to publishing is the one that had a clear structure, direction and just basically got vomited through my fingers. A bit like when I write these texts… but these are like a glorified journal, not interesting enough to publish for the world to see. Actually… for the world to buy.

I’m so happy with where I’ve come from in the last year and where I’m going, but, as always, I have to pace myself better: the new year barely started and I’m exhausted. I have one day off in two months. I don’t think that’s healthy… so reorganization is on the table. Everything I hated before, I now understand how it serves me. Having a routine allows me to spend less time finding where everything is and just going; having structure gives me the freedom to move, build and create. There is definitely more work to do in those areas, but going from feeling the ick in my body just hearing those words (routine, daily, structure, authority, Québec, family) to wanting them. Wow. Path in my own back.

We did another iteration of Le Chalet wcs with Phil and Flore in August of last year. I love these two so much. As always, I was really slow in understanding that they wanted my friendship, they reached out so many times before my brain actually went: oh, ok, they want to be friends, they are friends. They are amazing people, aligned in their values, hardworking, a beautiful example to have around. And I know things are probably not always pink and fluffy for them, but if you read this: you inspire me to be a better person, and that having a family, being stable and dancing can all go hand in hand. I love you.

Le Chalet was amazing as always: 35 people sleeping in the same house, eating together, training, dancing, playing games, sharing. It’s definitely one of my favorite weekend of the year. I love seeing how the community grows stronger by people having time to share more intimately, play and just sharing the same space. This is definitely something that we’ll keep holding as long as possible!

Then it was the Country Festival of St-Michel-des-Saints. Me and two of my best friend in this world drove there, rented a little cottage, cooked, ate, drank, danced into the night and partied at the Festival. An honorable mention for your host who won the title of Mechanical Bull Queen of the festival! What did I win? Pride. Lots of it. Bruises. Even more of it. A bit of bleeding and shaky leg (where not going there). Was it worth it? 100% would recommend. 100% won’t do it again. We found the party with the line dancer and I don’t know if it was the euphoria of the whole thing, but I got carried into it for the first time in my life. If you’ve seen me at events, I’ve been mostly on the side of the dancefloor for all line dance type things… I has a blast there! Maybe it was the weekend I had spent at the Calgary Dance Stampede in April, seeing videos of my then roommate Mackenzie Keister, who made it look really cool, but it made me want to do country. Something might be brewing on that front. ;-)

September was for training and resetting. Anybody knows Noah Kahan? I discovered him when he released the Stick Season single and fell in love. I had just bought my first car ever and listened to that tune non-stop while driving in BC. I would go for cold dips in the morning as the sun would rise and blast it. I honestly think this whole album helped me re-acclimate to Québec, which wasn’t my first choice of place to settle, but has so many of the people I love. The melancholy of it. Making winter, slowness and boredom feel attractive through the poetry of it all. Sincerely, thank you Noah. So last summer, as I was driving to Halifax for a contract with a student and friend of mine, I played Noah’s album over and over and mentioned that this is the one artist I would love to go see live. My student found tickets for Toronto and there we were screaming our heads off at the Budweiser Stage in Toronto a couple months later. Probably the best concert I’ve been to in my life (ok, I really have been to like 5 concerts ever, but still…) I’m so happy for that memory before the tickets became 400$+.

I then drove to Sherbrooke to give a teacher’s training and a couple workshops. Gosh, I love my job. I love teaching so much. Some dancers I know do it because it’s the part that pays the most, but, for me, it’s the best part! Anything I do, I do it in the frame of mind of teaching it, if I don’t, I lose interest real fast. Teacher’s training are the summit: passionate people who are interested in details and want to ingest as much information as possible to then share it with their world? Gold.

I had a weekend home so I invited my new dancer partner to practice and actually meet. Oh yeah, I didn’t tell you. One day, I saw a video of a baby novice dancer and said to myself: I don’t know who that is, but he’s mine before he gets to All-Star and people finally realize that he’s as good as I know he is. I then proceeded to stalk him (in a totally legal and respectful manner) and ask him if he was available for a call. I told him what I saw in him, he told me his story and he planned to come up for two days. Then in a fun turn of events, I happened to have to move that weekend. So hi Aaron, nice to meet you, here’s half my family and thanks for moving my mattress and underwear and sleeping on a mattress on the floor in a half empty apartment with me. Great introduction. We had a blast anyway, sharing, constructing plans and trying liftwork for a potential routine. The weekend after, I was in Austin to choreograph for us with Glenn Ball. I love choreographing and I am always drawn to share a story I’ve created or seem important to share, and we needed a leader that knew more about swing. It was a whirlwind of a weekend with awesome people having me over, a few games of laser tag, riding in my dream car (black mustang) and being dragged to a country evening… which also re-kindled/re-confirmed the country love affair!

Then came, one of the craziest thing I’ve ever done: registering for a pole competition after being grounded (literally, not flying… with apparatus, I still took the plane) because of a shoulder injury, having health problem that got me bedridden for a couple of months, basically being in the worse shape of my life. I registered mid-august, so I had two months to choreograph, train, get in pole shape, create the music, and order costumes. At the time, I also thought that I didn’t have a partner for The Open so it was going to give me the motivation to train for something else, but I ended up having two partners and creating two dance routines at the same time, finding and cutting music, getting costumes for that and trying to find travel time to meet my partners.

To my surprise, I won. I didn’t even have a competitive goal in mind. What I wanted to do was present something that was so clear that it gave me a business cards to get gigs with other polers. I don’t need to become world pole champion, I want to help people who have so much more abilities and/or fire than me, create a routine that resembles them, has smooth transition and is sound. I didn’t manage to run my full until the day before. I rented an extra studio hour in Toronto and succeeded once. Perfect, ready to go. I told myself that a lot of things could go wrong with a pole routine (dealing with different poles, slipping, speed of rotation, angles, height, distance between poles, angles on static), but that I knew my routine, my song, my theme and myself enough, that I could make it work and present a show that I’d be proud of. After 2m on stage to rehearse… which means you don’t have your music, you don’t get to run the whole thing, there are 3 other people on stage with you… I went on to do make-up, watch other performance, wait and finally get on stage. It felt so good. Pole audiences are normally very loud, but during half of my performance there was not a sound to be heard. Which can be a really good or really bad thing. I was so proud. People came to me after to tell me I’ve touched them and that they heard my story and that’s all I needed.

For those who haven’t seen that routine:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PFKdHvSUKU&t=14s

Montreal Westie Fest came around. The hometown event where I always felt welcomed, loved and seen no matter where I was coming from at the time. Stephen came in town so we could choreograph and we won the pro strictly. I hadn’t felt that good dancing in a competition in a long time. That also felt like home. We know each other so well, it just flows. I had an awesome lumber jack and jill where you are randomly paired with different levels and performing battle style. I drew Alex Glover who reminded me he did his first pro-am jack and jill (actually the winner of novices got to dance with a pro) at Montreal Westie Fest a few years back and now we were dancing together and we were sitting side by side as he was competing in the pro strictly as well. I love full circle moments like that, they feel so warm and fulfilling.

Vidéo of Stephen and I:

Calgary was next and what a freaking weekend! I got there a couple of days early to meet my best friend Kim who moved to BC a couple years ago. We rented a hotel, roamed around, bought cowboy hats, and went totally berserk in the hotel pool. Then I met Nelson at the event hotel and some of the shenanigans we got up to that weekend are definitely not shareable through this media. All I can tell you is that there are videos of it and that most people thought I was drunk off my ass, but I actually had two glasses of wine in the entire weekend. One of my great idea was to get inflatable costumes to do a two-steps before the real presentation. I forgot to mention, it was Halloween weekend. So Nelson and I got into these giant pig costumes, blew them up and went down for the show. As we started, I realized that we hadn’t tried dancing at all in them and that every time my arm was lifted for a turn (and it is often in a two-steps) I couldn’t see anything; that every time a wrap happened (and it happens often in a two-step) it would squish my whole body and bounce me back out. Then my costume started to deflate, the pomp dangling down my leg and… let me tell you it was the worse or the best demo you’ve ever seen. It all depends on perspective.

I was home for a weekend after that (halleluiah!) So I decided to do a house warming party in my new apartment: after all, one of the reasons to have a home is to be able to have people over, no? I invited my closest friends and family with all their kids… and this stranger I had talked to online a few months ago. I’ll explain. I created an account on Hinge to show guys profile to my brother as I was talking from a woman perspective what I found interesting and might catch my eyes. I kept it to swipe left on everybody when I was bored at night and feel better about myself with all the likes coming in. For some unknown reason to this day, I swiped right on this guy’s profile, then forgot about it because I was never going to talk to him, but then he wrote again. We talked for three weeks (I was always out of Montreal), it was easy and nice, but after some thoughts, I realized I still wasn’t ready to meet anybody after the disaster of my last relationship. I told him so and expected to be told off. Instead he sent me a really nice message with his number for if I wanted to contact him in the future. Long story short, I meet him by chance in September, we talk for 5m, and I tell him it was really nice to meet him, that I’d like to meet again in a couple months. Fast forward to October, we’ve texted a bit, I finally have my own apartment, my life is getting settled, I feel ready, so yeah, I invited him to my house warming party with a bunch of strangers (to him). He came. The rest will have to go inside of another story book, but we’ve now met most of each other’s family and friends, spent the holidays together and he’s coming on a dance cruise with me in May.

Back to our initial topic: dance. As a last minute decision to get some time to rehearse with Stephen before The Open, I flew to Seattle to spend a few days at his place, meet his lovely life partner, rehearse like maniacs, chill and head to Sea to Sky. Sea to Sky was a really relaxed event for me, which I’m not really use to: I didn’t have workshops to teach, no judging, just a few privates, rehearsals with Stephen, floor trial and performance after a grand total of a few hours over 5 days of training for that routine. I’d say it went pretty well for the context. It gave us the information we needed to know what to adjust before the big day… in our head because we could only meet on the Thursday of The Open. Loll. You got to love the rush!

I went home for 36h (had a glass of wine with mystery Hinge man) and left for Philadelphia to train with Aaron. We had a few hours between workshops I gave, private lessons we both had, leaving for DCSX where we had some coaching down, I taught some more, judged a few comps, competed and finaled in Champion JnJ and Strictly. We also had the opportunity to see a basketball match live in the VIP section. Freaking loved it (also sent tons of videos to mystery man who loves basketball)!

And there it was, the most expected weekend of the year for most of us: The Open. After consulting with friends I trust and having hard discussions, we decided to scratch the showcase routine with Aaron. My friends basically told me: you were right he’s extremely talented, you could run it, but your routine is not quite ready yet and it’d be better to leave a great first impression than an ok one. Aaron was glad to also have a first year at The Open to be an observer soak in the vibe and feel more ready for when the moment will be right. Stephen and I performed in Classic on Saturday. I say performed and not competed because our intention was wildly different. Not only we knew that a total of maybe 14 hours (with many curve balls thrown at us), was not quite enough to do something highly competitive, but also because we wanted to present something that was us. A feel good routine. Something you want to watch with a hot cocoa, wrapped in a big blanket. A window into some other people’s inner world. And we did just that. I’m really proud of the results and especially proud of the fact that it inspired other artists around us and, for me, that’s one of the highest compliment… along with people writing me that it was their young kids’ favorite routine!!!

Stephen and I’s routine:

We rented a huge Airbnb by the beach with Stephen, Jacinda, Aaron, Brad, Jerome, Alyssa and Sean to get some rest and reset before TAP. How did I rest? By going to a silks` class, copying cabaret liftwork with Aaron and partying for Alyssa’s birthday. It started all nice and fun until a party bus was called at 11pm and we got taken to a random karaoke bar and… the next day was hard. Just thinking about it, I’m getting tired. Another honorable mention for me who traumatized the young adult boy partying next door.

TAP came along and I did the classic mistake I often do: party like an animal and stay on the dancefloor until 6am on the Friday because I’m so excited to be there and then be completely trash for the Saturday night. A classic, loll. I have to admit I was really sad about not making finals and being able to dance with my peers in strictly. I don’t know why, but TAP is the only event that gives me that feeling: it’s like being left out. I did have the chance to do a smooth demo with Joel Torgeson for the Invitational. I also took a few privates which triggered some fire and interest in me that I hadn’t felt in a while.

I came back to Montreal on the 5th of December and got my wisdom teeth removed the next day. Never too old to get wise! NO, but seriously, the entire month of November, while I was in the States and gearing towards The Open, I had a tooth infection, got some antibiotics that knocked me out and was just in pain the whole time. The extraction went really poorly, I had to take two sets of antibiotics, my jaw was so locked I couldn’t open my mouth, I couldn’t eat, I’m allergic to all anti-inflammatories so I was in pain, I couldn’t eat for a week, couldn’t work for two… it was a mess. All the while mystery man came over (there is a specific reason I manage to swallow my pride and let him see me like this so early on, but I won’t get into it now) petted my hair while holding an ice pack in my face and talking to me for two hours since I couldn’t speak. That’ll accelerate the bonding process…

Besides that mess to end 2023 kind of how it started, I had a great holiday season, got to see my friends and my family in Montreal, went to a fun chalet for the New Year (first year in a long time that I’m not working an event at that time, it felt kind of nice!) and spend quality time with everybody before my crazy winter schedule started. I am now teaching every evening between pole dancing, aerial art, yoga, wcs group and private lessons of different levels at different locations, and I am gone most every weekends for different gigs. I already miss seeing my people. Once everything is settled and my life has a bit more of a rebuilt, I will free at least a weekend a month and an evening a week so I can have a social life with “normal” people. ;-)

I’m excited for what’s to come, but I also need a solid nap and some healthy food. Help!

#dancerslife #dance teacher #west coast swing #wcs #Youtube

Travels and Dancing 19

Back to our scheduled program. No seriously, I need to write more of these: maybe every six months? I’ve been slacking. In my defense, life has been crazy. Is it ever not though?

The last Travels and dancing was a short list of what I could express after the year I had gone through. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship. Obviously, I didn’t realize it while I was in it. In fact, when I met him, I thought I’ve never felt so respected and safe and I felt like I could be myself. How could that go wrong? Well… we met in Mexico. He was on vacations, and I was there to stay for a while. We had a good time and I thought nothing more of it. Then he called me to know if I wanted to come to Toronto to see him and see if it could develop into something beautiful. I thought about it for a month and a half (which is really long for my normal speed), and then I said yes. I sent most of my stuff with a stranger back to my parent’s place because it felt too much of a commitment to get to his place with my house in my luggage. He told me I should have brought it all. He welcomed me with open arms. He asked me if I wanted to have kids. We went to Montreal to get all my stuff. We moved in, and then… and then, I don’t know. I’m still confused about the whole thing. I know why I stayed: I’m secretly petrified that I’m a bad person (and that I resemble my mom in certain unhealthy aspects), so when the small comments started, I thought: Of course! I’m not perfect. If I was, the relationship would work. I need to work on myself more. I started going to therapy with the premise that he was amazing and I was broken. And it continued until I was only a shred of the person I used to be. I thought dance left me. I thought nothing was possible anymore. And then I found out some… things (and I’ll assure you, what you’re thinking was there -talks of other women-, but that was the least bad of the whole thing). I panicked. It jerked me out of my trance, I called my father and he left at 5am from Montreal on a Sunday to drive all the way to Toronto to pick me up and my stuff and be gone before my partner would come back. That’s all I’ll say about this for now.

Then I got to Montreal and my body started acting up. I was sick, not feeling well emotionally and physically, but at the same time, I had a feeling of freedom and that I could do anything, dance was coming back, all I thought was, wasn’t true. I finished schoolwork for the year in a week and went on a high trying to reorganize my life, find an apartment and much more. My body didn’t like it. I started doing medical tests and then I left for contracts I already had booked, which are really important for me to honor.

BTO Open was the beginning of me seeing the contrast in my real world from what I had been living in for a year: people appreciated me, were nice and full of love, I wasn’t a piece of shit. Wow. I had an amazing time teaching my intensive about mental preparation for competition, dancing with everybody, chatting, competing in JnJ and Strictly (which I thought I wasn’t going to do because I felt at 10% and someone told me: even at 10% I’d like to see you dance). I had amazing dances and placements, which I normally don’t care so much about, but I needed it as I was in the first stages of putting the pieces of myself back together. And of course, spending time with Nelson as we could through the event to create a short, fun routine for the Saturday night show. I needed that. The fun, the camaraderie, the expression, firing up some creativity. Thank you to everybody that was around for the weekend.

Then I drove all the way to Toronto with some good friends so I could catch an early morning flight to Victoria where I was teaching for a week. I got there and felt really tired. Oh well, it’s pretty normal before an event. I thought two full days of privates and I crashed. I was supposed to go skiing and I had to cancel last minute. I tried to handle myself, but it was really bad and I ended up in the hospital (which, if you know me, I don’t go to). I was petrified that I caught something and was going to make everybody sick, but nobody got sick. It was really my body. I managed to teach all my Saturday workshops, they asked me if I wanted to cancel, but I had to do it, for my mental health. I postponed my departure, finished teaching some privates, got a bit better and I left on a cross-country trip to bring my car and my things back to Québec. Oh yeah, I think I skipped that story. In the fall, I was visiting my best friend who had moved to BC, my partner was supposed to join me there. He postponed because of some work things, then called to say he wanted to break up, had packed all my stuff and where did I want him to send it. So I was stranded in BC with only my carry-on, I freaked out, he changed his mind and came back, said he loved me, I decided to keep trying, but I didn’t want to go back to Toronto because I needed to have some self-respect through it all (should have had more). I had a little bit of money aside that I had been piling up for years in the hopes to have a cash down for a house and as things were going, I realized that I was never going to achieve that with the meagre amount I had, so I decided to buy a used car, built something to sleep in it and go explore Victoria and the community there. I’m skipping a lot of details, but that’s basically why I was retrieving my car to now go settle back in Québec.

I took the ferry to the mainland, discovered how much I love to drive just for the sake of having time in my head: nobody to talk too, no internet, no distractions. I went all the way to Castlegar where my friend lives and visited for a few days to spend time with her and the kids. They are amazing, a beautiful family and it was really interesting to see how their personalities had change even from the fall to the spring. My friend and her husband have been there for me since the fall and the mess in my relationship and I hope they know how much it was appreciated and essential to have a safe haven were I could catch my breath for a while.

Driving through Banff, I got to Calgary Dance Stampede. I haven’t done many country events before, but I will say: I loved it! I found everybody nice and relatable, and I absolutely loved doing the Invitational JnJ which I learned was five dances to be determined on the spot… with a twist. So 2m before going on stage, I asked Marc Davidson if he could give me a run down of the rhythms and specificity. It went a bit like this: cha-cha it’s the same, two-step obvisously slowslowquickquickslow…, waltz you know, wcs ok, polka chasse up chasse up – no up on turns, east coast ok… anyway, it went beautifully. I got to my first partner, whom I’d obviously never danced with, and they called a waltz. Perfect, I got this… without touching each other. I had a long sleeve jacket still on: I took it off, put it around my shoulders and had my partner hold the sleeves. We did a beautiful waltz across the floor which some people called cheating, I just called it smart. Then it was a chacha. Ok… with crazy rhythms change throughout. A dance, which I don’t even remember the name, that is not even part of the 8… everybody looked a bit silly on this one, so perfect for my skill level. Then came the line dance. A 64 counts line dance with two walls that we had to learn on the spot and then face the leaders to create this cool effect. Things were going fairly well, they had said we had to do the whole things twice, so after that, the lady called out: Do whatever you want! Which she said because half the people were messing up the steps, but I took as a call to… do whatever I wanted. I ended spinning on my butt and crawling on the floor with some hair flip and John Lindo walking over me. I think that’s what did it. We ended up with a polka/wcs. I got 5th place for the follows and I’m actually really proud of it even if nobody cared about the placements. 😊 After more teaching, judging, dancing, hanging out with the staff, I left early Monday morning to continue my road east.

I somehow miscalculated the number of days I had to get to my next gig in Toronto and thought I had to drive 12h/day. I did that the first day. No. Just no. Not fun. I crashed when I got to my hotel and thanked the lady who made me a salad even if the restaurant was closed because she saw how weary I was. The next day I drove 10 hours, which is more human, but still not super fun, only to realize I had one more day than I thought to get to my destination. I did 7 hours, which was smooth in comparison and then 5 hours the next day. 5 hours is ideal if you are on a road trip: you actually have time to enjoy, smell the roses and get to destination. I finally made it to Toronto where I was welcomed as my home, met with some of the best people in town, taught a workshop and privates, danced and left for the last leg of the trip.

I was so happy to make it to Montreal, to my parent’s place. At first, I was really adamant in finding an apartment for my return and make sure I had a home, but being able to stay with my family for a while really saved my ass in all the ways possible. I got settles into the room they had emptied and prepared for me, and again, I felt a surge of love I haven’t felt before. I think there were always a lot of people who loved me around, and I knew it, but I didn’t properly feel it. After that relationship, the contrast is so stark, that there is no other option than to feel it! I have to admit, the rest of the return to Québec wasn’t smooth at all: I received a bill from the Victoria hospital that I had to pay and supposedly get reimburse by Québec (they paid a 1/6 of it…), I learned that my car had to get inspected to change province and started an epic run around to get all things done to stop paying the 256$/month insurance associated with the BC car insurance system, it ended up costing me 3000$ for unuseful things, more organizational and financial stuff came up, and my body crashed completely. I think it knew I was done with my main contracts and I had a break. I ended up on a list for surgery, needing to cancel a month of work, only to get a call three days before telling me they had to postpone to next month. I still haven’t done the surgery. I think I’ll ride it out as long as possible: I don’t see an option were I can cancel another month of work in the near future.

Change of topic to brighter things. I had an amazing weekend with Flore that we organized at a big chalet in Québec, only for women. It was a soft, touching, slow paced weekend, where beautiful connections were made. I then flew to Arizona to coach one of my student, I had been coaching online for months, but had never met in person! It was a beautiful weekend, with a workshop, lots of privates, walks in the park, ended up in the first pride parade of Tempe, a nice game night and a visit to the desert botanical garden. I started coaching again in Montreal, choreographing for people, and then I got to Liberty. Honestly, preparing for the opening ceremony with all my peers, I hadn’t seen in ages, was probably the highlight of my weekend! I had a blast being there, seeing everybody, dancing, judging, teaching privates, walking around the area and competing. Strictly was on Friday and although we didn’t make it to finals, I was really happy with how we presented ourselves. By Sunday, when JnJ was, I was completely exhausted… I hadn’t recuperated yet from all the health stuff and I got carried away with wanting to social dance and be out and about all weekend. So yeah, JnJ was pretty horrendous from my part. Life happens. 😉

I went to TOSHC in Toronto for the first time. It feels so good to be at a hometown event. I also love the crossover events where you get to meet new people and mingle and exchange with pros from another genre. The hustle room was awesome, the west coast swing vibes were impeccable, and the Invitational was… insane! I’m not sure how many dances total ended up in there: it was initially supposed to be hustle and wcs, but there was salsa, chacha, twostep, balboa, lindy, rumba, and more! And let’s not forget the all-skate where things went sideways in the best way possible and where Stephen and I did an impromptu lift, I wish we had on camera!

Rock the barn came with its midnight sun, beautiful people and fresh air. As always, it’s my favorite event of the year. It’s the mix of dancing outside (well, in open air barns), eating delicious meals at the cafeteria with everybody, teaching tons of lessons, having heated technical discussions with the staff in our little house, dancing with everybody, feeling relaxed even if I work the most of all year, the pre-event barbecue, the tent crawl… this event has personality. I got to share it with one of my favorite person this year: Nelson Clarke. And last, but definitely not least, I dared to teach a concept I had been wanting to teach in wcs since I started osteopathy but didn’t know if people were actually going to be receptive. And omg they were! I had a whole class of advanced and AS touching each other’s forearm for about 45m and everybody loved it. Some even said it was the best AS class they had done. The concept I talked about is so important in how you approach your partner and to make sure you get the best response out of your partner: them feeling relaxed, free in their body and trusting. I taught it twice now (the second time not to a wcs crowd) and it needs to be an intensive. I think 4h would be ideal to start and get a good feel for it… anyway, more on that in another blog. Feel free to contact me if you want more info and for me to come teach it in your city. 😉

I came back to Montreal, went and stayed with my grandmother since she just got surgery, and it was really a blast: I hadn’t spent time face to face with her since Covid… wow. I taught a workshop, privates, packed my bags and left for a magical road trip. A student from Toronto met me in Montreal and we drove to Halifax stopping by an auberge by the water I had been wanting to visit for years. It was the perfect set up and felt really peaceful. We then stopped in Moncton, and I found this beautiful cycling trail by the water, so I woke up early before the end of the drive to get a move on. I am so thankful for my student who found this bicycle rack for me and allowed me to spend time on the best cycling trails on the east coast. I had the most magical welcome in Halifax, in a beautiful home, by beautiful humans, who even went online to find vegan recipes and food they could cook for me. It was so good, and I was so full by the end of the weekend! We had a beautiful Friday dance by the waterfront, and I put my eyes on an island I wanted to go visit. Saturday were the workshops and teacher’s training, then dinner with the collective. Sunday morning, a group of people came with me to George’s island and we had beautiful weather for the dancing barbecue in the afternoon. I even found time to go to two pole class during the weekend in between all the activities, the workshops and the privates.

I decided to go to Prince-Edward-Island since I had already crossed most of the provinces by car this year. The only one I’m missing is Newfoundland. I tried to make it work, but it was too much of a detour. One ferry over, a detour to visit Charlottetown and I got to Stanhope for cold beach time, some car camping, improvised folk songs at the campground, a peaceful bike ride by the ocean, and… my first fire! Almost… I had to go ask a park ranger to help me. I felt a bit ashamed to ask, but they told me people asked all the time. Turns out, everything was really wet and even the ranger’s skills weren’t enough to make the fire go. We fortunately got rescued by a neighbor, his axe and hand sanitizer. That’s the cheat code! In the morning, after getting poured on all night, I felt like I had to leave in a hurry. I drove and crossed the confederation bridge, and they closed it soon after because of wind gusts and heavy rain. Oufff… saved by intuition. I drove through New Brunswick, visited the giant lobster and started looking for a coffee shop as I was exhausted of driving in torrential rains. I found a Manor coffee house and made a detour to get there. There was no sign about it being anything else than a house, but I was so desperate for my drug of choice (besides chocolate, wine and cheese), that I decided to ring the doorbell anyway. A lady in a nurse uniform answered, I said I was looking for a cup of coffee, and she sat me at a table. She brought me a coffee and told me that this wasn’t really a coffeeshop (no kidding), but an integration house for people with mental disabilities. One of the participants came to my table with another coffee he had made just for me, while another one made me toast. They were so happy and awesome. I sat and chatted with some of them for a while, while ingesting way too much caffeine for my own I good. After being asked out by one of the man, and giving a donation to the center, I left for the rest of the road. I got to Carleton-Sur-Mer for more car camping by the sea. My original campground was flooded so I had to be moved and I cooked dinner under the rain. There was just enough time in the morning for me to get another amazing bike ride by the sea, a quick swim in cold water, a warm coffee and leave for another wet dry. This time there was fog also. So I saw nothing but fog the entire time on winding mountain roads. It was still beautiful and unique, although not the desired view. I just found the concentration it took a bit exhausting.

My friend Jade, whom I studied dance in Cegep with, met me at Parc Forillon. We both car camped, which was fortunate cause… rain! Omg. That was the theme of the trip. Some people’s tent were not as waterproof as they thought, our neighbors got stuck in the mud on their site, all the trails were closed because of the water, we tried and sort of managed to start a fire literally in mud. Everything was so wet, that the logs were leaking and created little pools of water. We deiced to drive close to Percé to see a waterfall spot where the water is transparent and supposedly beautiful… it was closed. You guessed it: the water went up and ripped the installations, so they had to close the site. We still had a nice boat ride around Rocher Percé and I managed to get soaked by standing at the bow. The main reason for this entire trip, was to see the Show of the Rising Sun, which happens every year in that park as part of the End of The World Music Festival (not because the world is going to end, but because it’s the end of the land, the most eastern tip). You have to get to the site before 4am, the artist starts singing, set up at the edge of a cliff, and as the show goes on, the sun rises and gives up another show. You bring your camp chair and they serve you coffee and a little sweet. This year, we were camped right besides, so we woke up and walked 10m to the show. Klo Pelgag was the artist, which I hadn’t heard before, it was amazing. My friend left and I stayed one more day to enjoy an hour on a nearby beach and a beautiful, and hard, bike ride in the hilly coast… before it started pouring again.

I left the next day in pouring rain and more fog to meet my friend in a nice little auberge on the coast, have a drink and see an outdoor circus show. You enter the woods on a wooden bridge while the artists are set up in different spots around. Then you get to three sides of three stories high stacked containers with bug screens where you will sit and watch the show. They are set up on a cliff. The use of the lighting (the show is at night, in the dark), the tramp wall they built, aerial dancing, catapult on a net that comes down from the cliff… the whole thing is brilliant in the use of the space. Well worth the ticket. The next day I visited a bird watching site before heading to Quebec City. I taught a workshop and privates, went dancing and got hosted by really nice people. It was only two days, but filled with dance, love and really resourcing relationally.

I found a campground at Petite-Rivière-St-François, which is situated at the bottom of one of the biggest skill hills, by the water. The camping is a coop that is super well organized with a little coffeeshop, one shower for all, a youth hostel, a community room, and a community fire. I heard a lady talk about a free show on the village’s quay. A beautiful woman created the character of a bird-woman with huge wings. She sings opera with the water in the background and brings you in her world. It was truly magical. A new friend from Québec ended up meeting me there. We had a beautiful bike ride by the water and an intense hike on the mountain. I was burning up with my long sleeves and pants, that were needed to counteract the mosquitoes, when we happened by a waterfall. We found a calm spot in the water, stripped down, and got some much-needed refreshment in the one ray of sun that came out that day. I thought to myself afterwards that I’d love to have a picture in that set up, but when would the opportunity ever come? We came back down and back up to see a point of view before it started raining. Obviously. I finally managed to score tickets to a show on the mountain I had been wanting to see and had been full for weeks. We drove 5m to the bottom of the mountain and waited for dark. They got us up on the ski lift, which they slowed down, and as we progressed to the top, we saw an inspiring light and music show they set up on the ground beneath us. We then walked in the mountain with a lantern that was provided, got to the next chair lift where we went down in darkness with a magnificent view of the St-Laurent’s River and the lights of far away villages on the other side.

Finally, if you are still reading, we are almost done! I drove further east on the north coast this time around (I drove over 4000km in two weeks), to get to Up The Moon Festival. What a treat. You get to the land, drive in for a while and park your car, then have to walk a while to get to the site where there is a movement space, a workshop space and a show space. People are camping everywhere, there is a coffee and cacao tent, a sacred tipi, some food, only cash accepted, no cell phone connection or internet at all, only a couple Sanivac, no running water, and beautiful people. My favorite spot was the sacred tipi: it had a fire and a guardian running 24/7, with sacred chants and a beautiful energy. The opening ceremony was powerful and made me feel like maybe I’d want to stay in Quebec for the first time in my life. We got more downpour the first night and after having my feet wet for the last three weeks, I decided I had enough and went to my car early for some reading and slept beautifully. The next morning, I walked to the river decided to get a natural bath and go in naked. I happened by a professional photographer I had met before at the river mouth. Funny how life works. So after my river bath, I asked him for some pictures: it’s amazing to be able to have a visual reminder of a favorite feeling! I went to a few workshops and then I taught my Conscious Partner Approach workshop which is the same concept I had taught in Sweden, adapted to a different crowd. Everything felt so right the entire weekend. I didn’t stay up late that night again and left early on Sunday after another river bath. I stopped by Quebec City to see my sister and her three daughters. We had a bunch of fun in the pool and I got asked if I was still young enough to have babies… I said I still had a few years. More questions came about why I didn’t have any and if I was going to have some… I replied that I needed to find a nice man who’d want babies also, to which I got told by a 9 years old that it wasn’t true, that now I could do a baby by myself. Well f*&*. Now I’m rethinking my entire life…

I’m back in Montreal now, with my energy levels going up, tons of projects in the making, and I want to make sure I still pace myself, so I don’t burn out again. This was an extra long Travels and dancing, maybe to make up for the fact that the last one was so short. Thank you for reading until The End. (of this one, not my life) 😉

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