A Few Words On "disillusion"
It's hard to put into proper words what Fate and the Nasuverse as a whole have meant to me for the past year, now that I'm slowly inching towards my one-year anniversary of finishing Heaven's Feel.
One day I want to write more about Fate/stay night, but thankfully, today I will just stop at its incredible opening, specifically the version heard in the anime adaptation of Fate route by Studio Deen.
You might be asking yourself why that version in particular. I personally consider that version to be the best and most realized version of the song. While the original sung by M.H. is an intense, percussion-heavy battle hymn accompanied by aggressive, popping and buzzing synths that prepare you for the conflict of the 5th Holy Grail War, the anime version performed by Tainaka Sachi and arranged by the legendary Kenji Kawai, the composer for the Fate/stay night anime as well as many gems such as Ghost in the Shell and the anime adaptation of Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni, is a beautiful ballad, ethereal and beautiful, just like the faint presence of a Heroic Spirit or a sprouting of a deep, emotional, yet youthful love.
So, please, get comfortable and give it a listen with me.
The start of the song is understated, as small previews of what is to come are obscured and slowly revealed by a low pass filter, simulating the feeling of being underwater. As the synths swell and the filter fully opens up. The abrupt cut pushes the first two notes of the bassline as well as adds extra emphasis to the vocal line as we jump straight into the verse.
Here is where I have to applaud Kenji Kawai's incredible arrangement: the song keeps its original intensity in the drumline with a complex hi-hat pattern and a lively kick. The way they are mixed here is wonderful; the hi-hats are very in your face, but considering the fact that they mostly occupy the high frequencies, they don't take away from anything melodic in the song's composition while adding that intense atmosphere. The snare, however is brought back and given reverb, making it appear distant.
To me, the stroke of genius here, however, lies in the piano arrangement, wholly original to the anime version; the piano arpeggios in the verses are breathtaking. Taking a few steps up, before plummeting down the scale, these give a feeling of being swept up in something bigger than you, losing control, nothing staying permanent, the same feelings that Shirou experiences during the story. The synth choice for the little stings throughout makes the entire composition feel ethereal and magical, almost fairy tale-like; if you let go of it even for a second, it will disappear.
The pre-chorus functions as a sort of resting place; it always reminded me, in its mood, of Porno Graffiti's Melissa, the first opening to the 2003 anime adaptation of Fullmetal Alchemist, giving it that wistful, adventurous feel. It is interesting to note that this is the portion of the song that has changed the most, compared to its VN counterpart. In the original, this part of the song is intense, almost suffocating with the amount of percussion present. It only serves as the buildup for the chorus, which it does excellently. Here, however, even the piano comes back to simpler chord hits, giving us ground to collect ourselves before we jump into the incredibly emotional chorus.
The strings swell as we are treated to the vocal line and lyrics that will forever encapsulate Fate/stay night as a whole to me:
The intense, yet soothing vocals of Sachi Tainaka as well as the beautifully emotional counter melody on the strings alongside the aggressive, desperate piano chords underscoring it all, make this moment transcendent. This entire post was inspired by the fact that for numerous times, when listening to this song in public, I genuinely cried during this chorus. It might be one of my favorite pieces of songwriting ever recorded. It will forever symbolize how much the original Fate/stay night means to me. It is an experience that is hard to forget. It's emotional, it's beautiful, it's ethereal, and it forever became a part of my heart as soon as I heard it.
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