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@sophiaskyee-blog1
My first sex worker podcast!
I uploaded my intro yesterday right here 👉🏿https://soundcloud.com/turnatrickpodcast/intro-a-bitch-cant-speak-secluded
I didn't make shit the first week of 2018🙄🙄 so I talk about that and how to handle a slow day or week lol. Oh and I also give advice to call girls who charge johns a cheap price. MAKE BANK BITCHES
Http://www.tvnishv.tumblr.com/
Sheesh 😍😍
I realize that those who are closest can actually not give a fuck about you or your feelings. It's all a ploy
Bald b*tch
Am I the only one who listens to a song or artist constantly and not want anyone else to know of it? Like it's my personal song! This song is for me!😂😂😂😂
Guess who's back to sharing thoughts?!?
This thread is everything!
This is important.
BOOST!!!
She has been relentlessly harassed for calling out this woman.
Ex porn star
Okay so it’s no secret to my friends that I used to be in the adult entertainment industry, but I stopped months ago. And to be clear, I stopped having sex period. The main reason I stopped having sex was because (especially when you’re in the industry) a lot of guys AND females don’t know how to please at all. Sometimes there’s people lucky to hit that spot but that was a very very slim chance. I understand that when it comes to sex work, it’s only for the money and for the filming, but porn now or days to me looks whack, A lot of the ones I watched or even witnessed was clearly acting, and though that’s what porn basically is, it’s not fun for those of us who actually LIKES to get pleasure out of sex or fucking. The reason I’m getting into this today is because an actor that I worked with once before is randomly hitting me up on my personal facebook asking if I would record with him and maybe just make it a fling......
Let me make this clear, I myself have a hoe mentality, meaning, if I don’t even want to have sex with you or if I don’t find you sexually attractive, you will absolutely have to pay. It’s not like I’m going to enjoy it but I do enjoy the money, so to me it’s a win win. You get your rocks off, I get paid, plain and simple. So for you to even ask me, as if we had a history is absolutely comical. His stage name is Jake something. He’s attractive don’t get me wrong, but he’s also a fool. Twitter porn ( in nyc and jersey) had back and forths and a lot of times he put in his 2 cents in another porn stars business or he felt the need to call them out. I’m not one for drama especially when it was all just business for me. I only cared about making the money. I’m not embarrassed by this at all. I don’t want people to think I stopped because I had a moment of regret because that’s not it at all. Sometimes I think about being in the industry again but I chose celibacy because as I said, sex sucks. I barely had good sex. I was a unicorn and it still was off.
People just don’t know what they’re doing anymore. I don’t feel like I have high expectations, whats so wrong with passionate sex or good rough sex that we would actually enjoy. I used to think it had to do with age, so I fucked older guys, and that’s not it at all! People really just don’t know what or how to do it. I think if I was to ever go back it’ll be to work behind the scenes. It’s not fair to me that I’m sucking some guy’s dick real good for the camera and he barely returns the favor or if I’m tasting a chick and she only plays with the clit. NO. Thats not right lol. I’m a passionate person and should be treated as such. I don’t care if made 700 that scene I will never ever ever want to work with you ever again. The money was great, but no. And it wasn’t just in the industry it was my personal life too. I dated people who were just whack, been a unicorn with people who were just WHACK. So I decided fuck it no more fucking. I’ll keep to myself until I find someone or a couple who knows exactly what they’re doing. Who don’t have lucky moments just, gets me all the time! I only squirted twice in my life you guys!! TWICE! And at first I thought maybe it’s just me but when I realized that I myself can actually orgasm like that, I quickly noticed that it was just the people I was fucking.
So ladies, if you’re not having orgasms or sensations, charge, find someone/s who speaks to your body, or be celibate like me
Victim of Depression
So I meant to post a video last week, but decided against it because I felt as though it made me seem like an unhappy unappreciative person when I personally feel like that isn’t the case, but at the same time I question it. Sometimes I feel like the kind of rich person who gets everything and still isn’t happy (except obviously I’m not rich and I’m happy with even a McChicken from Mcdonalds) but me myself..... it seems like whenever I do find happiness or I find out something new about myself, I somehow find myself in a dark space in my mind. I’m a firm believer that through darkness you can see light, because life has it’s ups and downs, what I don’t understand is that whenever I am in this funk (which is often) why is it so hard to appreciate the people in my life, appreciate my talents, and find a way to..... I guess be accepting and challenging myself. And as much I would loooooove to blame my mom and how I grew up, that doesn’t change the fact that I’M the one that brings ME down.
Yes, I live in an apartment with someone who doesn’t seem to like me, and doubted me basically all of my life, but that doesn’t mean I have to be a victim. I wish I was strong enough to do for myself. I wish I found a way to like..... be fine....... I find myself comparing me to my friends and sister, wishing I found myself like they did, but in reality we’re all lost regardless of ( as I believe) them finding their purpose in the world. I’ve had this kind of talk with them and it’s amusing because they see potential in me and even my friend Damani says he wishes he can be like me...ME, the one who kinda...... Okay for example my twin sister has my beautiful nephew who is in love with her! She’s a great mom, she does art, and she hoops and writes. No she doesn’t work (like me) but I always think she has a lot going for her because she’s so intelligent and strong minded. Sometimes she doesn’t think so, but I’ve always felt my sister was a strong beautiful woman. And my friends are artists as well,one is married and draws his own comics while the other has the potential of creating his own t-shirt line. AND they both work so investing will be easier....and to some (including themselves) having a job doesn’t mean that they found happiness, it’s definitely better than not being able to pay for a metro card to get around the city and network or something. I mean even I KNOW that having a job doesn’t bring happiness, not even making fast money does...... Idk why it bothers me.
I’m looking into volunteering for a homeless shelter for women since I have so much free time to finally do it. Yet I still haven’t taken the necessary steps because I’m scared I don’t qualify. It seems like now or days you absolutely need a cell phone or some type of number and wi-fi to keep connected and I have neither. Even now as I’m typing this I’m in a library holding my tears because I definitely don’t want the librarian stopping by my table to ask if I’m okay, because I kinda am but then I’m not. As depressed as I am right now, in my mind this is another obstacle that I have to face. I faced so many obstacles in my life that I’m sorta tired. But I notice my childhood me keeps me going. Let me explain, I’m a big kid. Bam. There we go. Just kidding I’ll get further into detail. Please don’t think I’m crazy because I’m not..... though I probably am to some others but anyways. I noticed that because I didn’t have the best childhood I sometimes live it out now. Like watching cartoons, getting excited over small simple things that only kids or toddlers like my nephew get excited about. It doesn’t bother me at all, it doesn’t bother others either..... well sometimes. I’ll explain that later because I feel like I’m writing a little bit too much right now and want to give more about myself as days goes by. As fucked up as I can be( to society because I enjoy smoking weed, I take drugs sometimes like acid or shrooms( which I miss) I go out with my friends maybe 3 times a month) a lot of people I’ve bumped into who gets to know me at first say I have a certain kind of “innocence” which I used to be confused about but I think it’s because they notice the child like spirit in me......
That was a really long paragraph my apologies. Anyways..... my sadness, I would like to get out of this funk. I need to stop stopping myself and getting in my own way. I hope that I’ll step out of this “comfort zone” because to me it’s not comfortable at all and it’s not all I know. I will go to a shelter tomorrow morning and see how it goes. Even if I get rejected I’ll have to keep trying. I’ve always wanted to help others especially women because.... a lot of us just need to love ourselves more.... and if we can help guide each other and give advice.... so many of us will be happier. This goes for transgenders, men, and they/them too. I’m just saying women because, I’ve bumped into so many like me throughout my life and I just want to help. With me lending a hand and meeting so many others, I’m hoping it’ll help me realize that yeah life can suck, but only if you allow it too, and you’re never alone.
If you’re someone who has depression and is probably at your lowest point please feel free to contact me or anyone else who just wants to be supportive.
A black woman dating/marrying outside of her race because of constant disrespect and misogyny from black men is not the same as a black man dating/marrying outside of his race because he is vocal about how much he hates black women, usually dark skinned black women.
Rant Time...
I am so tired of the phrase, “the emasculation of the black man”. You can’t say ‘emasculation’ without 'the black man’. Why are we holding their (fragile) ~*~masculinity~*~ so fucking high. Because simple things like a romper can drain them of their masculinity?! Because getting your nails done professionally and getting a clear coat of fingernail polish can just turn them? Just like that? Because any “feminine” color has so much fucking power. Over the black man. Ohh~ we (black women and other 'woke black men’) gotta coddle the black man and makes sure he doesn’t get dirty. I get it…Because the minute he touches this color, this polish, this piece of fucking clothing, these feelings, this way of thinking, he’s tainted, dirty, wrong, —–>gay<——!!
And it’s funny because..
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Love this!
Hey guys sorry for not posting for a while Ive been going through stuff mentally but am finding better ways to expressing and being myself! I already recorded a video I will be posting tonight or tomorrow!
