“everything’s pretty much fucked,” he agreed, before he took another swig from the bottle. half of him repeated her words to make her feel supported, like someone was on her side and understanding of her emotions, but the other half … well, the other half agreed. nobody who parker had spoken to had any semblance of calmness, nor did anyone know what the fuck was going on. parker laughed at her story, visualizing sophie purchasing alcohol in the store. “god, sophie, i thought you knew that i only sob with 80 proof vodka,” he joked, passing back the bottle. “hold on a minute, wyoming? i’m struggling to decide whether you picked the most obscure place you could think of, or simply threw darts at a map and it happened to land on wyoming.” he smiled, almost feeling a bit of life come back to color sophie’s cheeks. “well, you know the best way to do that might be to write a little sign, you know, with markers and stuff, and write ‘fuck off, mind your own business’, and tape it to your back. i’m sure they’d understand. but hey, seriously. if all of these classrooms end up being filled up with randoms, you’re always welcome at mine, soph.” he wasn’t exactly one to show a lot of emotion. well, he would take that back … happiness, excitement, compassion, the positive things, he would always show off with pride. parker prided himself on being positive, on being someone who was strong, someone who others could lean on when they needed help. he emulated his mother in that sense, a woman who put everyone and their emotions before her own … and perhaps that very reason is why parker never learned to manage his emotions. he just brushed them aside, and this was no exception. it wasn’t until he was sitting on the floor, hugging sophie, when he stopped to gather his thoughts. “i guess i haven’t yet,” he responded truthfully, almost feeling guilty. “i guess … i-i guess it just hasn’t hit me yet. not completely, anyway.”
“mind if i quote you on that?” she teased, a half sob, half amused choke escaping from her lips as she wiped at her eyes, further smearing the wetness from the tears that still resided. parker was warm, he was comforting and he felt a little bit like home. he always had the ability to make her feel seen and she wasn’t even sure if he was aware of it. it’d been this way even when she was younger and throwing her fits for attention or when quentin would attempt to shove her to the side proclaiming ‘she was too young’ to partake. “80 proof, huh? i’ll have to remember that for future reference.” she chuckled and it felt foreign, it felt wrong and maybe it was because her throat still felt raw. “i didn’t get to choose the state! i got it in a bundle deal from a kid in my humanities class. he’s the idiot who put the order in.” sophie nuzzled her cheek against his shoulder, fingers going to fiddle with the string from his hoodie. “that’s actually not a bad idea. and just walk around flipping off anyone who stares at me and whispers to their friends. i don’t know how O is putting up with this bullshit.” but odette had always been the stronger of the two, handling things with an elegance and grace that sophie only seemed to manage when dancing. “thanks but you don’t want me staying with you. i’m a menace, remember? but seriously...thanks.” her lips pursed together for a moment, lifting her head up and catching his gaze, “you know you’re like...the best guy, right? seriously. and...i’m here for you too. even if i’m shit at showing it sometimes. i know i have the tendency to be selfish.” she offered him a small smile before resuming her position with her head on his shoulder, “me neither. well that’s not true i mean i just...shed a few tears. the vodka helped. but before that...nothing. dryer than the fucking sahara desert and i used to be the kind of person who cried anytime she stepped on a snail. and now? brother dies and nothing. think that makes us shitty people or just people who have used up all of their tears or something?”